So here it is, the moment after she fainted with Hotch at her doorstep... Hope you like it
Chapter 9
The last thing she remembered was his strong arms around her to catch her fall.
She woke up sprawled on her couch, not knowing how she got there. Then she was aware that the last thing she recalled was opening the door to find Aaron Hotchner on her front steps. This got her eyes to shoot open and her body to sit bolt upright. The first thing she was aware of was that she was alone in her living room. The second, Hotch was still in her house. She could hear him bustling in her kitchen.
She didn't know whether to run away from him, or in to his arms. She was angry at one Agent Rossi, that she knew for sure. There was no way anyone found her, and the only way Hotch was here was by the powers of Rossi. She couldn't figure out why he was here though. Was he so bent of fixing things that he tracked her down to fix what happened? It couldn't have been something with the team, they all had her number and would have called had there been an emergency. So, why? She didn't have time to finish her thoughts as he walked in with a glass of water and a cold wash cloth. He walked over to her, silently, and gave them to her.
"Thank you," she whispered, boring holes in her hardwood floor. She didn't want to see his face, she didn't want to know what he was thinking. Unconsciously, she began rubbing her stomach. Then, she realized who was in front of her, and her hand flew to her side as her eyes finally shot to his face. He looked tired, with bags under his eyes, and angry, with his jaw clenched, but what caused her to gasp was the hurt and longing in his eyes as he watched her rub her stomach. In that moment, she knew that he knew she was with child, his child.
"Please, don't stop on account of me," he finally responded, with more bitterness and anger then he intended.
She winced when he said this, and squirmed under his gaze. She knew he had a right to be livid with her, but that did not mean that he could do so in her own home. "I'm sorry," she said, as she got up and went towards her kitchen. She didn't want to have this talk, so she hoped he would get the idea, and go back to Virginia. However, she was never that lucky, and he followed her.
"Sorry for what? For keeping me in the dark about having a child? For quitting your job? For leaving us with out a word? For leaving me?" he was almost shouting, but his voice still cracked with emotion by the time he finished his question. He saw her shoulders stiffen with his last question. She turned around to stare him squarely in the eye.
"Now you wait right there!" she shouted back, her own anger surfacing, "I am sorry that I didn't tell you, and I will always be, but I was just trying to make it easier for the both of us. I am sorry for not explaining myself to you guys, but I couldn't deal with all the emotions. I loved my job, yes, but I couldn't deal with being around you all the time. However, you have no right to tell me how I was wrong for leaving you. You made it quite clear where we stood with the you and the me 'thing' the morning after, so you can't be mad at me when I couldn't deal with seeing you every day, and knowing what you thought about me. I couldn't put that on my gum drop." She was crying now, not able to hold back her tears anymore.
"Penelope," he spoke, calmer then before. He couldn't take her tears, not now, not ever. He made a move to hug her, but she just stepped back further. He stopped then and looked at her. "I know what happened was hard on you, it was hard on me, too." He raised a hand to tell her he was not done talking, "I was wrong to do what I did, but I cannot let it take you from me. I cannot let it take you to such extremes, like where we are at right now." he continued, but was interrupted when Penelope spoke up, not able to fight against herself anymore.
"You don't understand, I can't go back and act like nothing happened. Something happened, and no matter how hard you try, it can't be undone! I can't stand to see you every day, and see the regret. I can't watch you be happy with some other woman. I can't live knowing that I was just a mistake to you. And I sure as hell can't subject my child to a father who won't have time for them and hardly wants to be with their mother!" Her tears were streaming down her face again, and she didn't have the strength to push him away again when he wrapped his arms around her.
"I know, I know, I do regret that night, but only because of the circumstances that surrounded it. It was not a night you deserved. You deserve so much more then that night, so much more then me. You were not, and never could me a mistake to me. You have no idea how much I cherished those moments, that night." He told her truthfully, his own tears threatening to spill.
"But you left, and that note," she sniffed, "God I hate that note. Like you just wanted to forget me. I can't live with that Aaron." she cried in to his shoulder.
"You won't have to. Penelope, I know leaving was wrong, and God I loath that note, but I was scared, and I wouldn't of been able to handle seeing your eyes full of pity or sympathy. I couldn't take that from you, not when all I wanted to see was love" He admitted, not realizing what he had just admitted.
He waited for her to say something, but when she didn't, he continued. "You are the only thing that kept me sane. You are a light, a warmth that gets me through the dark. I could never want to forget you. I could never be ashamed of you. You are the only thing I want. You are the only woman I could ever want again. My life is lonely without you." he went on, "Please, just say something!" He pleaded, waiting for her to respond.
"Love..?" She said, so low he could have sworn he was just hearing thing.
"What?" he asked, not sure what she meant.
"You wanted to see love in my eyes? Why?" She asked.
"Yes, more than anything, I wanted you to love me. Why? Can't you see that I am in love with you? Have been in love with you? So completely, and burningly in love with you." he said, bowing his head so that he didn't have to see her face.
"Ugghhh!" she grunted, making Hotch jump out of his skin, "Why are men so stupid. They love you, get you knocked up, and then leave a note. Love me he say. Has loved me he says. But what does he do? He runs from you. Why? Because he loves you. Because he can't se how much you have loved him" she ranted, not really speaking to anyone.
"Penelope, what is wrong?" He asked, not really sure what she was going on about, and a little scared by her unexpected outburst. This was not the reaction he expected.
"You, Aaron Hotchner, are a fool, just like every other man" she exclaimed, not meaning it as an insult, but a chastisement.
His face fell, not really understanding what she meant. "I'm sorry," he said, embarrassed and a little wounded. She saw this and went to him, putting her finger under his chin to meet his eyes, brimming with fresh tears.
"No, I'm sorry, you misunderstood. I love you, too. I-" she was unable to finish her explanation as his lips met hers in a searing kiss.
"I love you," he said again when he ended he kiss. "So much. Please, let's go home" he whispered into her neck.
"I love you, too" she said with a smile on her lips. But then other factors cam to light. "But I can't go back there, not now." she finished, and watched as he pushed back and his face fell.
Ohhh nooo, another cliff hanger. But there might be bright futures for the both of them, depends on the events of the day I write. :) Hope you like how this chapter turned out for the most part.
