Lanie finally made her way up to the bullpen near the end of the work day on Monday. She'd had to work like a dog to finish everything on her desk; it was a Monday after all. Normally she would have just stayed late, but tonight she was determined to speak in person with Javi and Kevin about the whole mess that Beckett had left behind. Lucky for her they hadn't had a body drop all day, so they were more than willing to spend time talking about it with her even though she could tell they were very angry at Kate and what she'd done to them and to Castle. Lanie had kept getting frissons of doubt during quiet times during the day about the whole pile of shit that Beckett had fed them. She couldn't put a finger on her disquiet and hoped talking it over in person with both boys would help her identify what was bothering her so much about the entire situation. She knew Javi felt betrayed by Kate, but betrayal was not the emotion that was niggling at her. Javi and Kate had always had a special bond, being so alike in personality. They were both driven by the need for action. However, she was surprised to find Kevin seemingly equally affected, though in a quieter way. She'd already told Javi about the revelations from Martha on Saturday morning, and he'd told Ryan in turn. Lanie decided to rehash it again with both of them just to make sure that all three were on the same page and so she could see Ryan's reactions to the story in person. She was really hoping for some more clarity about why she felt so unsure about Kate's leaving. Something just didn't fit. She was nearly finished recounting the end of her conversation with Martha to the men when she felt Javi stiffen next to her. He was facing the elevators and appeared to be staring at a new arrival to the floor.
"What is he doing here?" he whispered. Lanie turned to see who he was referring to. Surely it wouldn't be Castle. He wouldn't be sober for days if you took Martha at her word.
"Mr. Beckett, is there something we can do for you?" Javi called out. Lanie finally caught sight of Kate's father. She gasped in shock. He looked like he'd aged 20 years and seemed to be standing through sheer force of will.
Jim turned his haggard eyes on them and approached them slowly. "Detective Esposito, Detective Ryan. Lanie. I need your help. I want you to find my daughter."
Kevin cleared his throat. "Um, sir, she's in Washington. We don't know where exactly…" He trailed off as Jim started shaking his head.
"No, no, NO. She's not there." He seemed so certain. Lanie listened with disbelief then shock and fear as he explained everything he'd discovered to the three of them. Suddenly she felt felt something click into place in her head. It was such an obvious sound in her head that for a second she felt the whole bullpen must have heard it. Now she knew why she'd been so emotionally labile since her talk with Martha two days ago. Subconsciously she'd recognized there was much more to the story but her anger at Kate had hidden that realization from her . Something had happened to Kate Beckett; she was not the person Lanie had been imagining that she didn't know, breaking everyone apart and shattering their friend. Something larger was at play. They had to find her. And Castle had to get his sorry ass sober to help them do it.
Javi and Kevin were looking at each other with the same realization. Beckett was in trouble. This was something they could help with. Javi turned back to Jim. "Have you spoken to Castle about this?"
"No, I was afraid to go there. Martha told me Friday he'd been drinking and I wasn't sure he'd be sober enough to understand the implications."
Lanie spoke. "We need to go to Castle's place. Martha said there was a note. Maybe it will have some evidence on it. Fingerprints or DNA."
Javi and Ryan both looked a little doubtful. But it was a place to start.
Jim looked up at this statement. "That's right, there's a note. Martha mentioned it, but I'd forgotten in all the …." He trailed off. "We need to make him let me read it. Maybe there's a message there that he missed." Lanie felt a sudden spurt of hope. Kate was a smart, resourceful woman. Lanie was sure she would have found a way to give them something to help them find her.
Kevin spoke up again. "If we're going to open an investigation, we're going to have to tell Gates. She needs to know."
Javi grimaced a bit, but he knew Kev was right. Gates had softened a lot on the whole Castle thing and he knew she had resources and contacts that might come in handy with this type of investigation. After hearing Jim's story she agreed that Espo and Ryan should take some fingerprint dust and swabs to Castle's loft and examine the letter. Lanie phoned Martha on the way to warn her they were coming, though she didn't mention what Jim had found or why they were really coming.
Knocking on the door, it was quickly opened by Martha. To Lanie's surprise, Castle was awake, or rather upright, sitting in a chair in the living room. He seemed oblivious to their presence though, staring at the floor and periodically sipping from an open bottle of what appeared to be scotch. Lanie teared up at the sight of him, looking so lost and soulless. If Martha was surprised to see Jim with them, she didn't mention it beyond a raised eyebrow. Lanie led them all into the living room, where they all found places around Castle to sit and talk. He still hadn't acknowledged any of them or even looked up. Once they were settled, Martha couldn't wait anymore.
"Lanie, what is this all about?"
"Martha, Castle; something about this whole thing is wrong. I know on the surface it appears Kate has left us all behind, but Jim thinks something else is going on. Please listen to what he has to say; I think he's right."
Castle had finally stirred a bit at her words. When she said Kate's name he'd looked up, bleary eyed. He seemed to notice Jim's presence first. "What is he doing here? Jim, you need to leave. Now. I don't want to hear anything from a Beckett ever again."
Lanie blanched at the raw hurt in his voice. He was so broken, she suddenly wasn't sure they were going to be able to reach him.
Martha moved to her son. "Richard, let's hear them out first."
Jim slid forward on his chair. He seemed to only have eyes for Rick, directing all of his words straight at the younger man. "Rick, I am so sorry Kate is gone. None of this makes any sense to me. She loves you." At this Castle started shaking his head violently. Martha stilled him with a touch and Jim continued "She does love you. She never let anyone in after her mother died and I got lost in a bottle, like you're doing to yourself now. Nothing and no one affected her until you came along and she found her soul mate. She became a person who was able to open up, to smile and laugh again. You made her a better person. She has a lot of flaws, I know that better than anyone. She's stubborn and once she chooses a course of action it's hard to change her mind. But she's also incredibly loyal and has an acute sense of honor, you know that. She is empathetic to a fault. She would never break up with you like this, with a letter on a doorstep. And even if you don't want to give her the benefit of that, you must know that she'd never leave me behind either. She saw what happened to me after we lost Johanna. I'm in a much better place now, but she wouldn't simply abandon me."
Rick was no longer shaking his head and appeared to be listening. How much he was taking in was hard to say. Lanie feared for him. The news he was about to hear was going to destroy him all over again.
"Rick, I haven't talked to her since last Monday. She called me to invite me to your dinner. She never called or texted me after that day to tell me not to come. I don't know if you're aware, but I showed up here Friday ready to hear whatever news you two were planning to give Martha and I. I spent the whole weekend trying to reach her after Martha told me what had happened. I've never gotten through, not once. I started thinking about where she might be without her cell working, so on Sunday I drove up to the cabin to see if she was there or had been there."
That stirred something in Rick. He knew what that cabin meant to Kate, knew it was a refuge for her. She had spoken about it at times with him when she was feeling especially vulnerable. He knew it was a place she might return to if under great stress.
"She wasn't there Rick. No one had been since I'd last been there a few weeks ago. The place was just empty, like her old apartment. She's not been to see me either. Where would she go Rick? She's got no other places."
"Washington" Rick whispered. The bottle of scotch trembled in his hands, sloshing the liquid around. The noise reminded him of what he was holding; Castle stared at the bottle in confusion then took a long pull from it before continuing in a terse, harsh voice "She's in Washington. Without me. She didn't want me there."
Jim leaned forward even more. Javi knew what was coming. He was sitting closest to Castle, knew he might have to catch him with the blow that was about to rain down.
"No Rick, she's not there. I called the Attorney General's office today looking for her, wanting to know she's safe. Took me hours, but I finally spoke to an Agent Stack. He said he'd offered her the job in the first place." Jim could see that Rick knew the name. "He told me she never showed up for her first interview. They called her on Wednesday morning when she was late and she told them she'd decided to turn down the job after all. They never saw or spoke to her again."
Castle heard a roaring sound rushing over his head, as if he was drowning in a waterfall that had erupted spontaneously in the living room of his loft. The roaring was pierced by a deep cry that reverberated into his soul. It was a broken, black noise that keened out in utter despair. It wasn't until much later that he realized that sound was him screaming her name as he finally realized his Kate, his beautiful, wonderful Kate, was missing and he'd not even noticed because he was too busy trying to forget her at the bottom of a bottle.
