A Love Of Few Words

A Mori/Takashi Love Story

Part Nine

Forgiveness

"Kairi … Please let me explain. Im sorry." Takashi said grabbing my hand and holding onto it tight as if he let go I would be gone forever. I pulled it out of his grasp and put both my hands in my lap next to Kyoya's head. "Kairi …" he said and I could hear the hurt in his voice. I didn't respond to him. He did this to my big brother. After everything I had told him about how much I loved my big brother he went and hurt him. Why Takashi … why.

"Takashi just go. I have to take care of my brother." I said with a trembling voice as I held Kyoya's head between my hands stroking his cheeks gently with my thumb. Finally the rest of the host club escorted him out but I heard him screaming my name the whole way. "Takashi … I thought you loved me." I whispered to myself as a single tear fell on my brothers face.

I heard the host club try to explain to me what happened but I held up a hand to silence them. I didn't want to listen to them right now. There were more important things I had to do. They all fell silent even though I knew it wasn't easily. They helped me carry Kyoya to a couch and I dabbed at his forehead with a cool cloth.

I was so worried about him and yet my mind kept wondering to Takashi. What he did was so unlike him. The Takashi I knew would never hurt someone unless they did something to him. But I knew Kyoya too and he wouldn't start a fight with one of his friends. Or would he? My big brother had changed so much since I had been gone. Could it possibly be that he would pick a fight with someone as strong as Takashi?

No, I couldn't believe that. Kyoya was my brother and no matter what had changed about him I had to believe in him. Even if my heart was telling me something was wrong … I was sitting there trying to decide between what my heart and my head was telling me when I felt someone take a seat next to me. I looked up to see Haruhi gazing at me with those unblinking eyes of hers.

I turned away from her. Knowing my friend she was bound to tell me I had over reacted and I should go talk to Takashi but I didn't want to. I knew if I listened to her I would probably do what she said and I couldn't face Takashi. If I did then I knew I would forgive him with one look into his big sorry gray eyes. As much as I wanted to forgive him … this was for the best. If he thought I hated him then maybe he would stop loving. If he stopped loving me then he wouldn't be hurt.

"Kairi why did you do that? You didn't even give Mori a chance to explain. That is so unlike you. Even if Kyoya told you to stay away from him there was no excuse for the way you acted. You don't even know what happened." Haruhi said and for the first time I heard anger in her voice. Was everyone else mad at me too?

"Haruhi please I don't need to know. Takashi hurt my big brother how could I ever forgive him? I may be mad at Kyoya but … if Takashi really loved me he wouldn't have hurt him!" I screamed trying to convince myself more then her. With each minute that passed the nagging feeling in my heart grew bigger and bigger but I would not admit to myself that I sided with Takashi. Kyoya was family and family came first … didn't it?

Without realizing it I had started to cry again and Haruhi rubbed my back soothingly as I allowed myself to cry on her shoulder. "Oh Haruhi I just don't know what to do! Its like im at war with myself. I grew up with Kyoya but with Takashi … I can be myself no matter what. I hate Kyoya for what he made me do and I am trying so hard to hate Takashi too but I cant. I just cant. I don't know what to do anymore.

"All I have wanted since I have come back is for Kyoya to love me and accept me. I thought if I did this he would but … nothing has changed. Big brother is still as cold as the day I came back." I said as I tried to dry my tears.

We sat in silence for a few minutes as she let me calm down before she answered "You just wanted your brother to accept you and things to be like when you were little but your missing something. Something big." I looked up at her with questioning eyes and she said "Takashi loved you as you were. You didn't have to act or try to impress him all you had to do was be yourself. Now where do you think your loyalties should lay?"

I let out a sigh. The thing I had known deep down were finally out in the open. Why did the truth have to be so harsh? "But Haruhi I still want my big brother back." I said quietly.

Haruhi let out a sigh and said "I think you should hear what happened before you came in." I looked up her with wide eyes and she continued "We had to bed Mori to come in so we could talk to him since he has been so depressed since the festival. He wasn't going to come but once we said you would be there he came rushing over. We started to tell him that Kyoya had made you and that's when things got rough. He started to yell at Kyoya telling him that the only one who was hurting you was him but Kyoya didn't care. Kyoya told him that he didn't want his sister dating someone in the host club and that was it, he didn't care if he hurt you in the process. Then Mori got really mad. He snapped on Kyoya screaming at him asking how he could treat someone who loved him unconditionally so horribly. That's when Kyoya said he didn't care how he treated you as long as you listened to him. Mori just got madder and madder and kept saying how you deserved better and you were to good to be treated like that from him. Kyoya just told him that you were nothing but a tool for your father. That's when Mori punched him. You see Mori punched him for insulting you. Maybe you should think about that."

Then without another word she left. I stared at Kyoya as he lay on the couch sleeping. How could he possibly say that about me, he was always the one saying family was so important … could this possibly be what he what meant? "Kyoya … look what you made me do. Takashi will never forgive me now." I said quietly pulling my hand away from the one I had been holding. Why was I such a fool? Why did I always have to do what Kyoya told me to do!

I got up slowly and stared down at the floor letting the last few tears roll down my cheeks. Now that I knew the truth I had to go find Takashi and apologize. But I had been such an idiot and I had hurt him so bad. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't but I had to try. I was not going to let Kyoya control me any more.

I ran out the door and ran head first into someone. I looked up and gasped, it was Takashi. "Oh Takashi …" I whispered as I clung onto his shirt. "Haruhi told me what happened and and I am so sorry Takashi! Please please forgive me!" I cried throwing myself into his arms. For a minute he didn't do anything and I was scared. Maybe he really did hate me now … "Please Takashi … please."