I know that everyone on this sight calls Raven's emotions slightly different names, like how some people call it Anger and others call it Rage. There are two emotions, Wisdom and Knowledge that I've merged in a way to create Intelligence. I know for a fact I'm not the first person to do this, but just wanted to make that clear. Honestly, I've always found that having two emotions that essentially do the same thing is redundant and useless. Wisdom and Knowledge go hand in hand. All of Raven's other emotions are easily distinguishable, but Wisdom and Knowledge get confusing after a while and me personally hates that. So they're Intelligence. And now I'm ranting. God bless whoever is still reading this.
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. All character credit goes to Cartoon Network
She pushed. It took all of her strength not to blow up the tower. Happiness was fighting a losing battle in her mind. Raven wasn't aware of Starfire screaming her name, or shaking her. All of a sudden, Raven felt fine, but the sheer toll the two-minute mental battle had on her body made her fall into Starfire, shuddering, and fell asleep almost instantly.
Robin ran into the common room, where glass was everywhere. Raven was lying down on the couch, asleep, while Starfire sweeped up the glass, shaking.
"Starfire?" She flew into Robin and started sobbing. Robin carried her to the opposite side of the couch that Raven was on, and sat her down. "Star?" He asked gently.
"She fell and cried and something most terrible happened!" Starfire squeaked out, before burying her face in her hands.
"I can see that," Robin said, gesturing to the glass on the floor. "Did she get hurt?"
"She obtained many small scratches, but it seems she is healing herself."
Robin sighed and kneeled next to Raven, trying to gently wake her. She stirred, but didn't wake. He picked her up, bridal style, but then put her back down. "I can't do this." he muttered.
"What?" Starfire looked up from her hands.
"I was going to bring her to her room, but I'm not allowed in. I don't even know the code to her room."
"I'll do it." Starfire picked up Raven and flew toward her room. She punched in the code and laid Raven down on her bed. She started to close the door, but Demon snuck in, jumping on Raven. "Careful, sweet kitten," Starfire whispered. She locked the door behind her.
TTT
Raven's POV
TTT
I woke up to a bright light shining in my eyes. I grumbled and closed my drapes with a small burst of black energy. All I wanted to do was to go back to sleep, but a glance at my alarm clock, which read 11:37, forced me to do otherwise. I quickly sat up, scaring Demon, who I didn't even see. He hissed and ran toward the door, which I opened with a wave of my hand.
I was still in my costume from the day before, so I phased out of it and threw it in the hamper. I grabbed my robe and went into my shower. Thank god Cyborg finally got around to adding bathrooms to each Titan's room.
Cyborg! I gasped. How could I forget about Cyborg? Memories flood my still-half-asleep mind. Crap. I had another meltdown last night. I shuddered despite the warm water. I could practically hear Intelligence screaming at me to talk to Beast Boy. I knew she was right.
Sighing, I stepped out of the shower and blow-dried my hair. I had started growing it out since my father's defeat. I wanted to do something rebellious, and letting my hair grow out seemed safe enough but also rebellious. Maybe.
I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and put on jeans and a long-sleeved striped shirt. I quickly teleported downstairs; I was surprisingly hungry. Luckily, Starfire wasn't cooking. Robin had made pancakes, two of which I took from the growing stack on the counter.
"Hey, Raven. You feeling better?" Robin asked tentatively. I could sensethat he worried. Starfire wasn't making eye contact with me.
"Yeah. I'm fine. It was nothing." I winced as the words came out of my mouth. He was going to be suspicious. As expected, he shot me a look, but I shot one back, and he dropped the topic.
"So. What are we doing today?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.
"We were going to see Cyborg, seeing as we didn't get a chance to yesterday..." Robin said, sitting at the table. I poured syrup on my pancakes and started eating. "He doesn't seem so well. Maybe we should check on him."
"Who?" I said, mouth full of food. Embarrassed, I wiped my mouth.
"Both of them." Robin said quietly. "Cyborg really isn't in the right place at the moment, and Beast Boy... I haven't seen him since we came home from the hospital. Is he still in his room?"
"Yeah. I was going to talk to him. Alone," I added, as Robin began to open his mouth.
"I say we leave around two."
"Sounds good." I finished my food and put my plate in the sink. I began to leave, but sensed Starfire's uneasiness. "Star, wanna talk? In my room?"
Starfire glanced up at me. She looked worried and she wasn't eating her breakfast. "Okay." She stood up and floated next to me as we went to my room in silence. I unlocked the door with a quick palm scan, and Starfire flew in, landing on my bed. I followed.
"Starfire-" before I could get a word in, she started hugging me in her signature bone- crushing hug. I could feel my shirt getting damp where her face was. She was scared. I could feel that. She was nervous and terrified.
"Look at me." Starfire stopped hugging me and wiped her eyes. She stared at her hands. "Tell me what's wrong."
"I am scared for you, Raven. You were acting quite peculiar and unusual."
I sighed. "Star, it was a one-time thing. It won't happen again." Hopefully, I added mentally.
"But what did happen?" Starfire was looking at me now, her nose red and running.
"I just- I was upset about Cyborg all of a sudden."
That seemed to satisfy her. She started to calm down. "Raven?"
"Yes, Starfire?"
"Please be careful. You are like a sister to me. A sister I was never able to have."
I smiled sympathetically and hugged the alien princess. We had all been through a lot. We were a family. I understood her. If I lost any of the Titans- I shook the thought from my mind. We were fine. We were okay. I took a deep, shaky breath, and let go of Starfire. "I'm going to go talk to Beast Boy, okay?"
She nodded. I sensed Robin coming down the hallway, and said, "Robin's outside, Starfire. He'll hang out with you." She nodded again and left, leaving the door open. I sighed. Well, it was now or never. I stood up, walked through the door, locked it, and went across the hallway to Beast Boy's room. I raised my hand to his door, mentally prepared myself, and knocked three times.
TTT
Beast Boy's POV
TTT
The only indication of time is the daylight outside of my window. Minutes turn into hours which turn into days. Nothing seems to matter. I'm lost inside the sinkhole in my mind.
The dried blood on my wrist draws me back to reality, but only numbs the pain for so long before I need to become numb again.
No, really, how long has it been? Talking to myself has passed the time, but even time is irrelevant. Not compared to Cyborg.
Oh, Cyborg. Vincent. My best friend. The only one who distracted me from this pain. The one who dropped the rope down the sinkhole for me to climb up, no matter how far away the light seemed. But the rope became slack and now I'm stuck at the bottom again. Thoughts control my emotions, and I'm too weak to do anything but watch as my life gets torn apart.
I'm alone.
The sinkhole gets deeper.
I'm still alone.
I shivered in my bed, where I had spent the days grieving. I can't focus, my vision is blurry- I'm alone.
How do I fix this? Was it always this bad?- I'm alone.
I lost control- still alone.
Thoughts float around me- alone.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone.
if only someone would help...
Wow. I got carried away there. Also, I know how dramatic this sounds, almost stupidly ridiculous, but Beast Boy's experience is modeled after my own. Though it's hard to explain, mental illness can be imitated through metaphors- so expect a lot of those, especially in the upcoming chapters. It's not physical, the thoughts when you're depressed or have a panic attack, so writing them is hard, so bear with me. Thanks!
Also, update dates are posted on my profile! I upload pretty much every Wednesday, except when something comes up. Thank you to my reviewers! Don't be shy to leave a review. I love reading them! It encourages me.
Ok I'll stop. Bye!
