"Wait…so you were involved with the twins-"
"Separately, Argis," she said, blushing. "You make it sound like…never mind. The point is, the story I told you about being betrayed by a Companion was a cover, in case someone wondered why I left Whiterun. No one hurt me. I'm not telling you this because I'm ashamed of my past-"
"You shouldn't be." He grinned as he listened to Gillian try to stutter and stumble through an explanation of her past relationships with the two Companions. Her phrasing invited a certain amount of teasing, although he wished she'd look at the rocky path as they walked instead of at his face. She'd already tripped twice.
"I just wanted to let you know no one hurt me, because you're going to be meeting these people, and I don't want you to hate them," she said, looking sideways at him and fiddling with the catches on her pack. "The Companions took me in when I was basically a fugitive, and gave me a home. I owe them my life."
"Aela told me about the twins before we left Markarth. I'm interested in your past, Gilly. But I don't want to control it. If the Companions took care of you, I owe them a debt as well. No worries on that front."
She exhaled, relieved, and gave him one of the apples she packed for breakfast. They'd slept too late to eat at the inn. "We're still playing that role, though, so Vilkas and I will be cool toward each other in public, just so you know."
"Got it," he nodded, eating a few bites of his apple as they crossed the bridge out of Riverwood, veering north toward Whiterun. "Speaking of playing roles…it's not smiled upon, you know, what we're doing. That we want to be together. If the jarl knew, he'd have me removed from your service. I probably should have mentioned that last night."
Gillian snorted. "I'd like to see him try it. I put up with a lot of shit being dragonborn," she said, fire in her eyes as she increased her pace, "and I'll be damned if some spoiled child is going to tell me who I can and can't –" She broke off and took a deep breath, in and out. "Why didn't you wait, then? Until I was…finished? If you were worried?"
He exhaled heavily. "You've become important to me in a short time. Not short by Nord standards, of course. People with normal lives would be hitched by now, you know," he grinned and took another bite. "With our obligations, what if I'd waited until you were ready to go back to Whiterun? I could see that. 'Wow, sexy housecarl, that would have been nice to know a month ago, but I have to go infiltrate the Dark Brotherhood now, so have a nice life.'"
Gillian laughed at his attempt to copy her voice, and thought for a few minutes about a possible future with him, leaning into him a little as they walked. "The way I feel about you now, I would've stayed and figured it out. I'd already decided this was my last mission before it even started, so after…I'm free, no more moving around," she said, looking up at him. "But, I'm glad you didn't wait. After all, it saved us from death by sabre cat yesterday. Good omen, right?"
Argis looked around before grasping her hand and holding it to his lips for a moment as they veered around the path, Whiterun coming into view. "I like the sound of that. But, I don't want to cause you any extra complications or endanger your mission."
"Ok, I'll make a deal with you," she said, shivering pleasantly at his touch. "In public, I can be 'My Thane,' until this is all over. But in private, I'm Gilly, and I'm not hiding my feelings for you in front of the twins or Aela. I'm not sure I could even do that."
"I believe it."
"So when is this party you're supposed to disrupt?" Vilkas tapped a finger against his lips as he thought about the logistics of their plan. He, Farkas, and Gillian had retreated from the common room, and were lounging in the Harbinger's quarters downstairs. "How big is it? If Tullius and Elisif do send troops…well, we'll talk about that later. What are you planning to do?"
"I've just gotten my head around showing up, Vil. Gods, I hate parties," she said, swinging her feet as she sat on his nightstand. "Any ideas? I figure I'll wear that one dress with the dragon scales on the bodice. You know, the one that shows Alduin's claw marks on my back? That'll definitely get a rise out of people, but it's not enough…"
"It will turn heads," Farkas said with a leer. "You should figure out a way to Shout in the middle of the ballroom. Is there one that wouldn't get you immediately arrested?"
"Hmm…I could do something fun with Ice Form. Like some sort of ice sculpture, maybe. Why don't I just arrive with Argis flying on Odahviing? That'd make a statement," she said, watching Farkas's mouth drop as he nodded, practically salivating at the idea.
"Icebrain…" Vilkas rolled his eyes at his brother's gullibility.
"I didn't think she'd actually do it. Just thought it'd look cool."
"So, where is this…housecarl, anyway?" Vilkas smirked. "Ditch him at the Huntsman as soon as you passed through the gates?"
"At the Skyforge. Remember when I wrote you to take the black and red dragon scales to Eorlund?" She motioned to Farkas, and he nodded. "I commissioned some armor for Argis. I'd planned it as a parting gift, but it'll come in handy at the party. It will be pretty spectacular."
"You did...what?" Vilkas said, his eyes wide as he stared at her, dropping the ceremonial dagger he'd been playing with. "That's not-" he broke off as a knock sounded at the door. Opening it, Vilkas looked over his shoulder, eyebrows raised. "Gilly?"
She hopped up from the nightstand and skipped to the door, as her housecarl walked into the room. "Vilkas, Farkas, this is Argis. When I say your names all together, it sounds ridiculous…" she let her voice trail off, her smile fading. He looked impassive, his face a mask of forced politeness she hadn't seen since they met. "Are you…?"
Argis nodded. "Good to meet you. Mind if I borrow my Thane for a moment?" He motioned toward the hallway and, hands on Gillian's shoulders, led her out the door, shutting it in the twins' open-mouthed faces as she looked up at him, bewildered.
"Did he just-" Farkas began, turning to his brother, barely able to believe that the dragonborn's housecarl had almost frogmarched her out the door.
"Yeah, he did. Gilly might very well have met her match," Vilkas said, smiling.
"Dragonscale armor? Really, Gilly?" Argis looked at her, completely stricken, as they stood in the hallway. That armor cost more than anything he'd ever possessed. The chameleon gear he prized was basically beggars' rags in comparison. She could buy Proudspire Manor with that set. Oblivion take it, she could probably buy the Blue Palace.
"Um." She frowned up at him, hands on her hips. "Why are you upset? Don't you like it?"
He stared at her. "When did you commission that armor for me?"
"Remember a few weeks ago when you caught me looking at the armor in your case? In your room? The ceremonial stuff with the jade and ebony inlays?"
Argis did remember. She'd told him she just thought it looked cool, and he took that at face value. It did. "But...why?"
"I wanted to. I had no idea all this," she motioned between them with an open hand, "was going to happen. But I wanted to do something nice for you. I mean, why shouldn't you have it?" She was beginning to feel hurt by his reaction.
"The cost, Gilly…I can't…" he stammered, almost speechless. "Dragonscale armor isn't 'something nice,' like a goblet or even a good sword. It's a…it's a fortune."
The door opened and Vilkas looked around at them. "You guys almost done fighting? We still have plans to make and mead to drink-" he pulled the door shut, laughing, as Gillian threw a book where his head had been, her eyes never leaving Argis's still-scowling face.
"You're worried about the cost? Argis…" she sighed, almost smiling, and looked down the hall before standing on her toes and placing a quick kiss on his cheek. "Can we talk about this later? I will, I promise I'm not trying to get out of anything, but there really are things Vilkas still needs to know if he's going to make a trip to Solitude in the morning, and this is a conversation you and I can't have out in the hallway." She squeezed his hand as he slowly nodded, and they walked back inside together.
"Good news is, Eorlund and the Gray-Manes aren't involved in the shit going down in Markarth. I talked to him about it before coming here," Gillian sat with Argis at a table across from Vilkas and Farkas and recounted the favor Aela had asked of her. "Apparently, Jon Battle-Born and Eorlund's niece finally stopped sneaking around and made it official, and their families made peace. They're being secretive about it, but it's true. And Eorlund was, quite frankly, insulted I even asked. So at least we don't have to worry about that."
"Really? I haven't seen them around lately, but didn't think anything of it. Did they finally let him go to the Bards' College?" Farkas asked.
"Hm…yeah. He was just too poetic to hang around Whiterun forever. Nice his family finally saw that." Gillian watched Argis, concerned about his outburst. Somehow she'd have to convince him that they didn't hold a balance sheet with each other. "Do you have enough information, specifics, to go to Tullius and Elisif with?"
Vilkas stood up and opened a wardrobe, taking clothing out and laying it on his bed. "Yes, I should say so. Especially since Aela actually infiltrated Cidhna Mine and saw everything with her own eyes, including where the mine empties into the Reach. Hopefully I can be there tomorrow morning and see them first thing. I'll leave tonight."
"Wow, I figured you'd hang out until morning. But good. I'll be glad for this all to be over. I really hate all this secrecy."
"But it did come with some unexpected benefits," Farkas said, smirking between Argis and Gillian. He laughed as Vilkas kicked him under the table. "Oh, come on, brother. It's obvious. I bet we'll all be taking a trip to Riften before the month's out."
Argis's face was expressionless, giving nothing away until she smiled, and then it softened, telling the twins everything they needed to know.
Vilkas slugged his brother on the shoulder. "You two should come to dinner with us and have some drinks before I catch the carriage to Solitude. I can sleep on the way, and we have lots of catching up to do."
Gillian and Argis were quiet on the way back to Riverwood. She wasn't sure how to explain herself to him, and he wasn't certain what he was even upset about. Once they got back to their room, they silently packed for the return journey and got ready for bed.
"Ready to talk?" Argis asked.
"Yeah, Argis-"
"Thank you," he said, his hands on his surprised Thane's shoulders, causing her to jump a little. "Thank you for the armor."
"But?"
He sighed, backing up a step and holding his hands out, willing her to understand. "You could buy your own island with that armor, Gillian. Do you have a set too?"
"Yeah. And the twins have dragonbone armor. From dragons they helped kill. They haven't sold it yet," she said a little more harshly than she meant to, she noticed, as Argis flinched. "Aela didn't want any; she said it was all too constricting." She walked over to the bed and sat down. "Why does it matter? It's not like I paid for it. You should see Eorlund's face when he gets to work with dragon materials. The very idea he'd accept gold for that..."
Argis sat next to her. "I did. He was deliriously happy. And I love the armor, Gill, it's…like nothing I've ever had, don't get me wrong. It's just that…I didn't really think about that aspect of your being dragonborn."
She rearranged herself on the bed, facing him cross-legged. "This isn't proud man stuff, is it? Like, you feel you need to give me things…"
He sighed. "Well, not exactly. But what could I give you that you don't already have?" He looked into her eyes, and turned to face her. "For that matter, why do you want me? You could have anyone in the province. The country, even. You could be a jarl, or even the queen if you wanted. You could-"
Gillian was getting more and more wound up as he spoke, fire building in her belly. "First of all, relationships aren't equations, Argis. I don't keep score and I hope you don't either. Do you think I want you to go out and buy me expensive things?" She didn't wait for him to answer, and he didn't have the words. "No, of course not. I gave you a gift because it was mine to give, and I thought you would look amazing in it. The dragonscale was just sitting in a safe in Jorrvaskr, so why not give it to you? Who else?"
He said nothing, noticing that her ebony eyes flickered with orange rings as she became upset. He shook slightly as she placed her hands on his knee.
"Second, I want you because...I do, there's nothing more to say. Do you have a list you check off when you meet someone you like? No, you don't, because love doesn't work that way. It just happens…and I'm over the moons that it's happening now. You're kind, clever, strong, gorgeous, loyal…what else should I want?"
"But I'm…nobody," he said, staring at her hands. "Just a fisherman's half-blind son."
"I didn't know your father was a fisherman." Gillian said, the interest in her voice surprising Argis. "I suppose I figured he was a soldier of some sort, like you."
"Nope. His father was a fisherman too, and he hoped I'd break the chain, just…not the way I did." He sighed and stood up, pulling the covers back and climbing into bed. Gillian followed, wrapping her arms around him, her head on his chest. "I remember when I got the tattoo right after I signed up," he said, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall. "He was so angry. He wanted me to be a bard, you know. A better life for me, so he said. Sent me to school, but...have you ever been to the Bards' College? Too cutthroat and snooty."
"He said, and then joined the Imperial Legion. Seriously? They're pretty snooty too. And speaking of snooty, do you really think I am?"
"No, but you're limiting yourself with me."
"My feelings for you are not limiting. If anything, I feel more free than I've ever felt. Do you think I'd ever be happy in some gilded palace? Really? You know me, Argis. Think about it."
He did, and he knew she was right. He was an idiot, he thought, but still...
"And anyway," she said, tensing up a bit, "I can't be a jarl or a queen. I can't even be a jarl's wife. I literally can't."
He looked down at her, puzzled. "What?"
She sat up straight and stared at him, face tilted slightly to the side, eyebrows raised.
"What's with the bossy face?" He grinned.
"What I'm about to tell you is a secret. Like, a state secret. You can never tell, or even let on that you know. I'm serious."
"Ok, you know I'm sworn to carry your burdens and all that. Go on."
Gillian took his hands in hers, tracing the lines and scars with her fingers. "After the Civil War ended and Alduin was dead, people called on me to take a position of leadership. Jarl, adviser, some even suggested I attend the moot as a candidate. I constantly refused, but it didn't matter. Within a few months, there were several…attempts on my life."
"What did you say?" Argis said, his voice deathly calm. Gillian leaned back, understanding the fear his enemies must have felt when he turned that steely gaze on them.
"I never could prove it, but yes. Accidents, too well-orchestrated and coincidental. One time, an assassin…well, he didn't realize Aela was with me, and she gutted him before he could even get near me. After that, I went to Solitude with Kodlak and confronted Elisif and Tullius. They never admitted it, but we knew. They didn't want to lose power." She leaned back into Argis's side. "I didn't want it. In front of witnesses, I signed away some imagined intention to rule any Hold in Skyrim, or in any province of Tamriel."
"I would have cursed them out on principal," Argis snarled, tightening his hold on her, pulling her closer.
"Yeah, it was tempting to call Odahviing and just burn the whole place down, tell the truth." She squeezed his hand. "But I wanted to get on with my life and help people if I could. So I signed. They also wanted me to marry Falk Firebeard, Elisif's steward. To keep me close."
Argis kissed the top of her head. "Is this when you called Odahviing?"
Gillian laughed and relaxed a little. "Falk was just as horrified as I was. I mean, marrying someone you don't love is fine if there's respect and trust involved. But marrying someone because you're pressured into it just makes a mockery of the whole thing. That's the one thing I refused to do. Although, I did promise never to marry a jarl, or into any ruling family."
"Why did you do that?"
"At the time, honestly, I didn't think I'd ever get married. I'd never met anyone I loved like that. And I thought it'd be hard to know if he was marrying me for me, or just because I was dragonborn."
They were silent for a minute, and Gillian sat back up to look at Argis. "See, I can't marry a jarl anyway. Even if I wanted to, which I don't. They're all babies or jerks, except for Balgruuf, who's like an uncle to me. Not romantic in the slightest."
"Does anyone else know about this?"
She nodded. "The Circle. Aela, Vilkas, and Farkas. We told them before Kodlak died. Vilkas even went to Solitude and made them aware of... repercussions should anything well-orchestrated or overly-coincidental happen to us. You don't fuck with the Companions," she said, laughing. "And Odahviing and Paarthurnax know, too. They would take it as a...personal insult if I were harmed for being who I am."
Argis leaned over to kiss her, and stopped short. "And who is Paarthurnax?"
"Dragon," Gillian kissed him, smiling. "Just Akatosh's second-born, you know, no big deal."
He stared for a moment before laughing and tumbling with her onto the pillows. His lips met hers, softly, and his hand slid down her body to rest just below her waist, his thumb making lazy circles on her hip.
Gillian drew her breath in, sharply, and settled in under his weight, letting the darkness enfold them as she snuffed the candle on the dresser before twining her arms around his back.
Later, just as Argis was drifting off to sleep, he remembered something Gilly'd said earlier. '...love doesn't work that way. It just happens…and I'm over the moons that it's happening now...'
He wondered if she realized what she'd said, and smiled as he slept.
