Disclaimer: SM owns.
Chapter 9 – The Good and the Dad
BPOV
I ran across the parking lot and dived into my truck. My watch read 4.15pm. There was still time.
The office windows were mostly darkened when I finally pulled up. I'd wanted to come down here in my lunch break, to at least see if there was anyone who would help me, but one of the students wanted to talk to me about their work before they went home for the summer and it was the last opportunity.
I went up to the reception desk to find it deserted. Eventually, the same woman who had been here the last time came out of a back office to greet me.
"Ah, hello again," she smiled sweetly.
I cut to the chase.
"Look, I am begging you to please give me something about where he might be and how I can reach him. You don't understand how important this is. You really think I'd come down here again after last time if it wasn't absolutely vital that I speak to him?"
She regarded me, her face expressionless.
"Please."
She sighed loudly and lowered her voice even though we were the only ones in the room. "He's been working from another office upstate. I can give you their number and his extension. But you don't tell anyone."
"Thank you." I tried to show my gratitude with my eyes but I think she already knew. I waited as she quickly scribbled down a number from the monitor on the desk.
"Good luck," she whispered, discretely passing me the bit of paper.
I dialled as soon as I got in the truck. I knew I was pushing it considering the time, but I remembered from when we were dating that he used to work late often. I just couldn't comprehend the thought of waiting this out until Monday.
After twelve rings I hung up. There was no answer machine service. I was about to drive home when I turned off the ignition and dialled again.
After three rings, I heard his voice.
I couldn't speak at first.
"Hello? Anyone there?"
I took a deep breath.
"I can hear you, is this a prank?"
"It's me," I answered.
Silence.
"Bella Swan," I clarified.
"Yeah," he replied.
He went silent again.
"Listen. I don't want to argue with you. All I want to know is where we go from here… I need you to answer some questions."
"I'm sorry I ran."
"I don't care," I sighed. "I got the message loud and clear, ok? But you are going to have a child and we have to talk through what the arrangements will be. I can't make plans for the baby without your input."
"Whatever you want is good with me. I trust that you'll do whatever's best for the kid."
I gritted my teeth in frustration. "Don't just put it all on me. I want to know when you plan on visiting after the birth. You're not answering your cell and I've heard that you're away from home a lot."
"I don't live in Seattle anymore," he said casually, "I just got transferred here."
Pause.
"Wow," I said sarcastically, "So you knock up a woman and suddenly you're offered a job out of town? How awful for you."
"I'm not gonna lie," he sighed, "I asked to be transferred because I thought it would be for the best. I was gonna call you."
My hand began to shake as I held the phone tighter to my ear. "What do you mean, for the best? And I've been trying to call you for weeks."
There was a long pause before he spoke. "You know I'm not cut out for this. I think it would be better for everyone if I kept my distance. I know that the law requires me to pay child support and I'm willing to do so."
How very big of you.
"No! If you're not gonna be a part of this then I don't want anything from you. You're in or out."
"Hey, calm down now Bella." His tone was nauseatingly condescending. "The kid might need it, ok?"
I wiped the lone tear from my cheek and searched to find my voice again. "I'll get him everything he needs… What he needs from you is his father, but apparently he doesn't deserve that."
I could hear his harsh breathing through my cell as I waited.
"You'll get a cheque in January. I have to go."
The line went dead, and for the second time in 24 hours, I cried until there was nothing left.
I turned on the ignition when it started to get cold. I didn't go home, but headed for the other side of town.
Rose answered the door.
"Oh god, what's wrong?" She took in my tear-stained cheeks and dishevelled appearance. I must have looked terrible.
"I called him." My voice came out hoarse and broken.
She frowned. "Shit-face?"
Another tear rolled down my cheek and she pulled me into a hug, closing the apartment door behind us.
"Tell me all about it."
So I did. By the time I was finished, she had called him every name under the sun.
"It's probably a good thing the baby won't have that asshole in his life. He didn't even ask how the pregnancy was going?"
I shook my head. "I wish I could have seen it back then. I mean I know this was an accident, but I wouldn't have gone near him if I knew this was what he was like."
"Aw Bella," she stroked my hair, "He's a fool. One day you'll meet a guy who knows a good thing when it's right in front of him."
I sniffed and wiped my nose with a tissue. Now was a good a time as ever.
"I kinda have," I admitted shyly.
"Have what?" she looked confused. "You've… you met someone?"
I nodded and hugged my knees to my chest. "Edward; Alice's brother. We went on a date… and last night we kissed for the first time."
"Oh. My. God." Her mouth dropped open. "That's what the make-up was about?"
"Huh?"
"At the poker night. Bella, sweetie, you've never made an effort like that for a games night. And Edward? Bella, he's hot!"
I couldn't help but giggle at her reaction. It wasn't exactly what I'd expected.
"Aren't you going to yell at me?" I asked uneasily.
"For getting some with the hottest doctor in the state? You kidding me?"
My cheeks were suddenly on fire. "I'm not getting some-"
She frowned. "Then you really should."
"Rose," I warned, "It's not like that. We really like each other, and it was just a kiss."
"Yeah…" she nodded, looking at me as if I was stupid, "And where do you think it's gonna lead?"
I looked down at my hands. "I dunno."
"You mean you haven't thought about it," she smirked, "Having him operate on you… Full body exa-"
"You're bad!" I raised my voice in an attempt to block out her lowly attempt at humour. "And no, I guess I hadn't thought that far."
"God Bella, anyone would think you were a virgin, besides the obvious."
I glared at her and she pulled a face.
"It's the obvious that's the problem," I bit my lip.
"What d'ya mean?"
"Rose, I'm pregnant!" I said, exasperated. Why did people not seem to get this?
"Exactly, it's like the safest sex possible."
"You're not even joking are you?" I sighed, picking at the fabric on my sleeve.
She cupped my face in both her hands as she spoke.
"Bella, in six months you're going to have a screaming, peeing, vomiting infant taking up every second of your life. Did I say shitting? Shitting too. The hot doctor wants to bang you. For God's sake do yourself a favour for once!"
Bang me? That sounded strangely like something Emmett would say.
She dropped her hands and stared at me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I don't know if that's what he wants," I blushed.
"He kissed you."
I blushed even deeper than before. "Actually, I kissed him. But he asked first." I didn't see how I was winning this.
Her mouth curled into a wide grin. "You so want him."
The more she said it the less I could deny it. I just hadn't allowed myself to realise it, I guess.
"Don't you think it's wrong?" I frowned. "You know… doing that with someone else when there's another guy's baby inside me."
"One," she held up a perfectly manicured finger, "as of today… the only person that baby belongs to is you. And two - does it matter what I think?"
"It matters to me."
"Fine," she shrugged, "I think it's perfectly normal that two people who are clearly into each other want to show it in the most natural way in the world. And the fact he knows about the pregnancy and still wants a relationship just proves how much he must want it to work."
When she put it like that…
"Bella," she held my hands in hers, "does it bother you? Really?"
I thought about it. I knew that Edward was caring and sincere to the core. I could trust him. And when he kissed me… something ignited deep inside. A yearning for something. Closeness - and if I was being honest - intimacy. I hadn't allowed myself to think about how the physical side of our relationship could be, given our fairly unique circumstances. But the more I thought, the less concern I had when I ran over everything he'd said to me up to now.
"No, it doesn't bother me," I answered quietly.
Rose smiled warmly and squeezed my hands. "And trust me Bella, if the thought of going to bed with you bothered him, he'd have asked to be your friend, not your boyfriend."
Boyfriend. That made my stomach flutter.
"But is it safe?" I dropped my voice, "For the baby?"
She shrugged. "I don't see why not. I bet loads of couples still have sex… probably even right up 'til the birth. Remember Ross and Rachel? We can look it up if you like."
She pulled out her cell from her bag and started tapping away. She had one of those new style phones where you can do pretty much anything without having to leave the sofa. As she focussed her attention on the screen in her hand, I found my mind drifting to other things.
"You're thinking about him," she smirked from beside me. "I don't need to guess about what exactly."
I'd missed this kind of girl-talk. "You planted a seed," I grinned, "Watch it grow."
"You'll be thanking me," she grinned back.
I rolled my eyes.
"Here we go," she shuffled up closer to me and zoomed in on the screen. She read aloud. "Expectant couples have nothing to fear when it comes to lovemaking during all stages of pregnancy. Women may find their libido fluctuates so it's important to only do what you feel comfortable with and only when you're in the mood."
She zoomed back out again. "It says there are a few scenarios where it might be a problem but nothing that could be an issue for you, at least not until much later on…"
I nodded, trapping my hands between my knees as I felt them tremble. I hadn't thought I'd be entertaining the idea of sex again for a long time.
"Hey," she caught on to my trepidation, "You heard what it said. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. But if it feels right, then go for it." She smiled at me reassuringly. "You deserve it as much as the next couple who're just starting out."
I nodded and laughed in bemusement. "I came here to moan about my ex and I leave with advice on my non-existent sex life…"
She pulled me into a hug. "What am I here for?"
I crawled into bed that night with a completely different mind-set than the night before. Yeah, that phone call had been pretty devastating… but it wasn't any different from what deep down I knew I'd expected. At least now I knew for sure where I stood. Correction - where we stood. I turned on my side in the haze of sleep and rested my hand over my tummy as had become my habit recently.
Its ok, I told him, there are so many people who will love you. And there's someone special who I think you'll really like. And you may hear him around from time to time, but you don't need to worry, because he cares about us so much already…
There was the hint of a smile on my lips as I eventually drifted off to sleep. My dreams that night were of a new sort, and there wasn't a trace of guilt to be found.
A/N: Thanks x
