What Draco Wants

JK Rowling owns it all. I just play with her toys.

Chapter 9

Monday evening came finding Draco sitting in the same arm chair in his room. His legs tossed over the arm and his back against the other. He enjoyed sitting this way sense he knew it would drive his father over the edge. Draco bit his lip nervously waiting for 7:00 to roll around when he knew that Potter had his therapy session. The last one was quite helpful and after he was able to hold Potter in his arms.

At ten after seven Draco saw Potter slink into the white hospital room with the doctor already waiting impatiently. He did not look good at all, he looked sullen and angry. His slumped down in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. Draco felt his own tension tighten in his shoulders as he watched the doctor say a few things to which Potter did not respond. Not being able to read his lips Draco moved the amulet's full view onto Potter. His eyes were dark and would dart around the room every once in a while. "Not this again. What is this guy, some kind of perv or wanna be match maker? Maybe he has a daughter he wants to fix me up with or something. I have learned one thing though. Love makes you weak." Draco's mind was filled with a scene of a huge battle field where he was standing in front of a boy shouting "No you can't kill him! I love him!" a flash of green light an then they were both laying dead on the ground. "I can't afford distractions during a battle. I can barely take care of myself, let alone try to protect someone who might be fool enough to enter this war in the first place. No, it's best I stay alone, fight alone and die alone. Look how much Cedric's death hurt Cho. No, I can't allow that to happen to someone else I care about." Draco's own face flashed into his mind. At that moment Potter stood up so fast the chair he was sitting in skidded across the tile floor and toppled over. He was shouting and gesturing with his hands with quick movements. When it seemed he had run out of steam he held his fists tight at his sides and walked out of the room. Once outside of the hospital wing he ran full tilt past Weasel and Granger and out the front doors.

Draco grabbed is warmest woolen cloak and his father's over sized 'hiding cloak' and put them both on. He hid in the shadows and made his way toward where he saw Potter running with his friends not far behind. All three of them caught up with Potter at the quidditch pitch by the Gryffindor locker room Draco hid outside with his back pressed against the thin wood trying to keep his breath from being to loud as he carefully listened and watched. "Harry what happened?" came Hermione's soft concerned voice.

"Nothing, nothing I'll be fine. I just need some time alone" Harry's voice was not very convincing. It was obvious by the way his voice shook that he needed someone, something.

"No mate, we are your friends and we are here for you always. OK? Now spill it. What is wrong?" Ron offered in a way of support as his arm slipped around Hermione's slim waist.

"Tact of a bull that one has" Draco thought as he rolled his eyes.

Harry looked at the two of them linked arm in arm and turned his back to them. Tears shown in his eyes though he blinked them away. "How can I tell them that seeing them together hurts me so much? It's not them, it's anyone who is all lovely dovey. I know that is one more thing I will not, can not ever have. Why did I have to be born such a freak? I wasn't born a freak. HE made me this way. He killed my parents. He killed my godfather. He ruins my life, any chance of a normal life HE took away from me!" Potter's fist slammed into the nearest locker with a rebel yell that echoed in the tiny locker room with such force Hermine covered her ears. "HARRY NO!" She rushed toward him and tried to grab at his wrist to see if he had injured his hand. Through gritted teeth Harry growled "Leave me alone!"

Ron pushed Hermione aside and stood between his two friends with a look a determination on his face. Draco had to give him credit though. He was facing down one of the greatest wizards of their life time. He wasn't sure if he got points for bravery or stupidity though. Draco shrugged and decided one for each and called it even, he was in a generous mood. Slowly Ron's hand reached out and clasped Harry's shoulder. Some of the steam had seemed to run out of Harry as he looked back and forth between his friends. He could see the look of sheer worry in Hermione's eyes and the brotherly concern in Ron's. He wilted and straddled one of the benches that was nearest him. He held out his bleeding hand toward Hermione and winced only slightly when she poked at the bones to find none damaged. She did a quick heal spell and then brought his hand up to her cheek and pressed it there looking up at Harry with tears in her eyes. "Harry, we love you, you know that"

Harry closed his eyes and nodded. The word 'love' was sighed so heavily it was almost missed. "What of love? Honestly! I mean" he sighed and wondered just how much he should tell them. Draco could hear Hermione doing some spell though she was out of sight within the amulet. "That was not very smart" Draco chastised himself as he zoomed the view out so that he could see all three of the people in the room again just as the girl was handing out huge mugs of what smelled like hot chocolate. Ron dug into one of the lockers and found a cloak and handed it to Harry. "There, now we have all the night to sit here and listen, Harry. Come on, out with it already."

Harry sighed and tried to start speaking several times only to snap his mouth shut, furrow his brows and try again. "OK um.. how about this. Ron when we were younger and into all those scraps together with Hermione, how did you feel about her being there?"

The look on Ron's face while he tried to concentrate amused Draco greatly. It seemed almost painful though he know the Weasel couldn't keep an emotion off his face if his life depended on it.

"I, well I was glad she was there. She is dead clever at all the spell stuff." He smiled at his girlfriend at his side "I knew she could handle herself."

Harry had been staring at the wooden bench between his legs while his friend spoke. He very slowly raised his eyes and then his head up to look at Ron. "Then, why just now, did you stand between her and me?"

This seemed to totally baffle Ron. He puffed out his cheeks, went to speak, stopped, sipped his cocoa. He looked to Hermione who just shrugged and waited with Harry. "I, I, hmm" He knew he would not be let off with an easy 'I don't know' but he honestly didn't know. Finally he just tossed up the hand that wasn't full of the mug and said "I give up, I don't know." Then he added sheepishly "Sorry mate" as if he had let Harry down.

Harry smiled weakly first to one friend and then to the other. "Because you love her." Ron's face turned bright red which he tried to hide behind the enormous mug of cocoa. Hermione gave a small girly bounce on the bench which Harry found so out of character for her but smiled when she squeezed Ron's knee affectionately. "That is wonderful and all, for you two. Let me explain why I can never have what you have." His eyes shot quickly to Ron and Draco could see that they had darkened a bit. "Ron, you stood between Hermione and me to protect her because you love her. You know I'm no real threat to either of you but your instinct took over and you covered her." Here Harry paused to let that information sink it for them both. They were smiling that their relationship had evolved to such a natural instinct for each other but still did not understand where Harry was going with this line of thought.

Harry cleared his throat a bit and took a long sip of the steaming cocoa to try to give himself time to calm his nerves. He wallowed in the sensation of the warm sweetness as it rolled over his tongue and concentrated on the heat as it spread in his belly. "When I am in a battle with Voldemort I can not have my attention drawn else where. I do not have the luxury of throwing myself between him and someone I love to protect them. We would both be dead in a second. Do you understand? I can only concentrate on one thing only. To kill him and as many death eaters along with him as I can. I can not afford to be distracted. With you two it's different. I know you have each others backs so I don't worry for you as much. Does that make sense? Is that clear enough?" Harry let his gaze fall back to the peeling bench again, his hands clasped together in his lap. He let out a soft sigh and waited for his friends to respond.

Draco watched as Ron and Hermione looked at each other with such sadness. There seemed to be some silent communication going on between them and finally Ron shrugged and let his shoulders sag. Hermione licked her lips and turned her attention back to Harry. "So, um, is this why you haven't been looking for someone to date, Harry? You are afraid you will get them into danger?" Harry simply nodded never taking his eyes off the bench. "But Harry, please listen to me OK. These battles, they are few and far between. OK, I know there has been at least one major battle a year but honestly how often have Ron and I been a part of them? The last few you have had to face on your own. Cedric was there for one but that was not your fault"

Harry exploded up off the bench tipping his mug to the ground with a crash. "Yes it was. It was all my fault! I told him we should both grab the cup and when I saw Wormtail approaching I told him to run, I told him to port back but I wasn't fast enough to save him. He died because I wasn't fast enough!" Tears welled up in Harry's eyes and his body could be seen shaking even under the over sized cloak he wore over his shoulders. Hermione stood and very softly placed her hand on Harry's shoulder "No Harry, you are wrong. He died because he tried to stay and fight. He tried to defend himself but it was Cedric himself that wasn't fast enough. He didn't listen to you, he stood his ground. I saw what you saw in the pensive, Harry. I saw with guilt free eyes what you could not."

Harry shrugged off her hand and paced the small locker room. Part of him knew that she was right, but part of him, the part wracked with pain and guilt couldn't accept this. "He wouldn't have been there at all if it wasn't for me. What about Serious? He wouldn't have come out of hiding if I hadn't fallen for Voldemort's trap. He would still be at Grimmauld place alive with Buckbeak and Creature complaining about being locked up." Harry slid down the wall right where Draco was perched on the other side and covered his face with both of his hands "It's all my fault. My parents, Serious, Cedric, they all died because of me. I just can't do this anymore, Mione, can't you see? Everyone I love, everyone I care about dies because of me." Both Ron and Hermione knew that Harry had developed quite a crush on Cedric at the World Cup and that feeling developed deeper during the Triwizard Tournament.

Ron and Hermione didn't know what to say to all of this. What Harry said did have a ring of truth to it. Ron tied the only thing he could think of "What if you had a" a slight pause "a boyfriend" another pause "that you know would not get mixed up in the war. Someone you could protect by telling them to stay clear of all that you know who stuff? What about someone from .. say like Hufflepuff? They are to chicken to get involved much. Or Ravenclaw, they would be to smart to fall for traps and such?" Harry just raised his head and gave Ron a glare that let the boy know how stupid he sounded. Ron was used to such looks, especially from Hermione, and knew when it was time to stop.

"But Harry, you can't stay alone all your life. You deserve love more than anyone that I know. You deserve to be happy. There is more to you, more to this life than just this stupid war." Hermione's face lit up slightly as a new idea shown in her eyes "Harry, hear me out before you protest OK?" Harry looked up at her as he rested his forearms on top of his knees where he sat on the cold floor. "Now lets say you have a boyfriend that you know is back in Hogwarts and is completely safe. You once again find yourself up against you know who. Do you think you would fight harder knowing that happiness was back at the castle waiting for your return? Do you think you would defend yourself even more knowing that if you were injured or perhaps died that there would be one more person back home that would care for you, cry for you?"

Harry took a couple deep breaths before he spoke. "Mione, I don't want anyone else to worry about me. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. Why would I put another person in the position where they know their lover is going to die and die soon? Besides, who would want to date a scruffy, scrawny boy they know is going to die anyway? This is a moot point. No one would have me anyway. Honestly, Hermione, everyone knows my destiny by now. They know what I am. I am only some stupid icon of hope that is trained to be a killer, destined to die in the final battle. I'm a pawn, Mione, not a person" Harry looked quickly over to Ron "Just like in your chest game."

Ron leaped up from where he sat and grabbed Harry by his shirt hauling him up off the floor. His rage had turned his eyes bloodshot as veins popped out of his forehead. Harry was shocked by how strong his friend had become and just how much height Ron had over him. Through clenched teeth Ron shook Harry once then pushed his back against the wall right where Draco sat watching all of this wide eyed in the amulet. For a moment Draco wanted to leap up and rush in there to stop Ron but knew that he couldn't. "You listen to me for a change, Harry Potter. We have been friends for a very long time. Neither me or Mione knew who you were before we became your friends. We have been with you through it all. We have helped you when we could, we have sat at your side in that bloody hospital wing frantic over you when we couldn't. How dare you diminish what we have been and done for you? How dare you compare yourself to some bloody chess piece? We are your mates because we care about you. We are your mates for who you are, you stupid stupid little prat! We could give a bug's ass for what other people say or expect from the boy who lived. But I will not sit here and let you prattle on about how you are nothing more than a pawn. God, we love you, you arrogant, selfish, stupid boy!" With that Ron pushed Harry against the wall once before he let him go and stormed out of the locker room.

Hermione watched her boyfriend go but knew it was best to let him be and stay with Harry. Harry just sat here on the ground with a stunned look on his face. She didn't move, she barely breathed afraid of what would happen. Slowly, very slowly his hands came up to cover his face again. His shoulders shook a few time before he fell over onto his side hysterical. Hermione, afraid that Harry was horribly upset ran to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Harry was rocking back and forth as he looked up at Mione with a tear streaked face. "A A... A bug's ass?" He rolled with laughter once more and with a sigh of relief Hermione joined him. It took quite a while before they could talk without bursts of giggles over taking them again.

"He is right, you know" Hermione looked at Harry with her 'I'm your best girlfriend' look on her face.

"Yea I know and I needed to hear that." Harry nodded with a sigh of resignation. "I just, I don't know what to do about it. I am tired of being alone all the time." He held up his hand before the girl could protest "You know what I mean, Mione" She nodded and conjured up more hot chocolate for them both. Draco took this opportunity to make one for himself. He knew the scent would be covered up by the chocolate from inside. It was bloody cold out there even with the warming charm he had put on his cloak.

"Is there anyone that you might be interested in?" Hermione said trying to sound cheerful and sly at the same time. She nudged her knee against Harry's where they sat on the bench beside each other. She smiled when she saw her friend blush bright red and shy his eyes down into the mug he held with both hands in his lap. "Um. well, uh kinda" Harry stammered.

"Who?" Hermione's smile could not have gotten any bigger.

"I um.. well I can't really tell you." Harry's eyes shifted to the side, a sign that told Hermione that it would be futile to try to get the information out of him. It dawned on her at how well she really did know her friend that something as small as the shift of his eyes could tell her so much. She took a while to slowly bring her mug up to her lips and to take a long drink, giving her time to formulate her next question. "Does he know?"

"I" Harry paused and furrowed his brows in contemplation. He honestly didn't know what Malfoy knew or thought. He had heard all the rumors about Malfoy being with so many different girls so maybe one little kiss at the ball and what happened up in the astronomy tower meant nothing to him but a way to pass the evening. Harry imagined the way that Malfoy looked down at him and he could clearly hear his voice saying "You have to come to me when it's right. I'm here. Yours is right here in front of you waiting." What did that mean? This was Draco Malfoy after all. What trick was he pulling? Harry was so angry for allowing such a weakness to occur in himself. He gave Malfoy the power to take advantage of him up in that tower. His anger started to slip away when he thought back to the end of the night. Malfoy had every opportunity to hurt him. Harry had pulled him on top of himself for gods sake. What was he thinking? What if Malfoy had used his wand? Then Harry was insane enough to fall asleep in the enemy's arms. Harry brought his hands up to his head and dug his fingers into his hair. What happened up there? None of this made sense. Harry did not act like himself at all. Did Malfoy put a spell on him? He let all of his defenses down that night. He shook his head trying to figure out what Malfoy's purpose could have been.

Harry looked up at Hermione with horror filled eyes as he began to tell her everything from the first kiss after the ball, to what happened up in the tower, and how now Malfoy was so often in his thoughts and how hard he tried to keep that from happening. He told her that Malfoy felt good, and that he enjoyed being in his arms but he didn't tell her exactly how good. He gave a fake shiver and pulled the cloak tighter around him, which didn't fool the girl one bit. Draco also remembered just how good Potter's body felt pressed against him. He would give half his fortune to have the feeling of his warmth and kisses right at that moment.

Hermione gave Harry a moment to collect himself and then had him stand and drop the cloak so she could check him for charms. When she found none she was just as baffled as Harry. "Why do you think Malfoy has this sudden new interest in you?" she asked.

"Well it's quite possible he is taking his father's place with old Valdie. What is that old muggle saying about keeping enemies?" Harry asked.

"Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer" Hermione supplied. "Well, snogging you up in the tower is defiantly closer" she could barely keep the giggle out of her voice then whispered a soft "Sorry Harry"

"That is the only conclusion I can think of then. He has made our lives a living hell sense the day I met him. I can't believe there would be this sudden change of heart. He is a Death Eater after all." Harry shrugged and got this evil look in his eyes. "You know, if everyone I love dies around me maybe I should become his boyfriend. It would be one way to get rid of a death eater."

Hermione looked at Harry with shock and gasped "That is not even close to funny Harry!"

"I know, I know." said Harry shaking his head. His mind filled once again with the look of Malfoy's eyes as he leaned over him. They were so soft and gray and filled with something he had never seen before. They were not cold and calculating like Harry was used to seeing. What was it that was in them that he was missing? What clue was there that Malfoy was actually up to something wicked that Harry could not find. He knew he just had to keep his guard up and not let Malfoy get any closer. He had to protect himself and his friends. He refused to bring the dragon into the lion's den.