Wow, it's been forever. Understand, although it doesn't seem like it, it's incredibly hard to write this story. Flashbacks...never a good thing. So if there are gaps in between updates, it's because I need to take a break from it because it's hard to deal with the flashbacks and memories. But I really do want to finish this story. It's actually almost done I think. Maybe 4 more chaps and then I'm done. I'm not quite sure, because I might do a sequel. I have a name for it already. It'd be called Aftershocks.
Anyways, please forgive me. And for Jommy lovers...the next chapter you are going to LOVE!! hehe!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star or the song Story of a Girl by 3 Doors Down. Forgive me if the lyrics aren't right. I didn't feel like looking them up. I did it by memory.
I have to send a special shout out to the people who really moved me...
Tanya50801
Truth Is Id Follow U Any Where
bubblesbuttbabe
Thank you so much for your encouraging words and support!! I love you all!!
Chapter 8: Hallucinating the Truth
I found myself at the pier as Christian stopped the car. I looked around confused as to why we were here. I lifted my head from his shoulder as he climbed out of the car. I followed suit and went to the bench at the end of the dock. He told me to wait there and I did what I was told. I didn't know what to expect from Christian. He was always so unpredictable.
I looked out at the river and remembered the first time Tommy and I were here. God was I head over heels for that man. It was a perfect moment for me. I heard an engine roar and my head whipped around to see Christian riding a silver Carrere GT convertible. I was in complete awe (http://riverbendlaw .typepad. com/photos /uncategorized/ car4x.jpg just take out the spaces). I ran over to him as his smile got even wider. "Christian, I…I don't know what to say," I squealed as I kissed him. "What's this for?"
"It's a present," he grinned and got out of the car. I jumped in getting a feel for it.
"But it's not even my birthday," I said distantly as I felt the leather seats.
"I know but I wanted to get you something," he pointed out. "It's a gift from Tommy and me."
I looked at him curiously. "Tommy?"
"Yea, he helped me fix it up. It took forever!"
I turned the key to turn the ignition on. "Get in, and let's test this baby out."
Christian laughed and climbed in on the other side. We went through the country roads. I had to be going at least seventy-five, but I didn't care. This car was absolutely beautiful! Unfortunately, I had to drop Christian off at the docks so he could get to work. I decided, since I had nothing better to do, to go to the studio and see how everyone was doing.
I parked my amazing convertible next to Tommy's viper. I smiled because, compared to my car, Tommy's infamous viper was nothing. I walked into the lobby and saw Sadie talking to Kwest. I strolled near them. Sadie looked surprise to see me. "What are you doing here?" Sadie asked.
"Christian had to go to work. So, I decided to come here and just hang out." I replied.
"Well, you picked a good day," Kwest came in. "We're not really doing anything today."
"Good. Where's Tommy?" I asked noticing I hadn't seen him when I came in.
"Studio 2, mixing SME's latest single," Sadie pointed to the door. "You should hear it. It's killer!"
I smiled and thanked both of them. I walked into Studio 2 and saw Tommy with his headphones on. He was bobbing his head and concentrating really hard on mixing it. I couldn't help but notice how adorable he was when he was working hard on something. I stayed at the doorway for a while just watching him. He finally took off the headphones and the song filled the room.
This is the story of girl
Who cried a river and drowned the world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her, when she smiles
Now, how many days in a year
She woke up with hope but she only found tears
And I can be so insincere
Making her promises never for real
As long as she stands there waiting
Wearing the holes in the soles of her shoes
How many days disappear
When you look in the mirror, so how do you choose
Your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls in quite the same way
You never seem run out of things to say
This is the story of girl
Who cried a river and drowned the world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her, when she smiles
Now how many lovers would stay
Just to put up with this everyday and all day
How do we wind up this way
Watching our mouths for the words that we say
As long as we stand here waiting
Wearing the clothes of the soles that we choose
How do we get there today
When we're walking too far for the price of a shoe
Your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls in quite the same way
You never seem run out of things to say
This is the story of girl
Who cried a river and drowned the world
And while she looks so sad and lonely there
I absolutely love her, when she smiles
Well your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls in quite the same way
You never seem run out of things to say
This is the story of girl
Who cried a river and drowned the world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
This is the story of girl
A pretty face she hid from the world
And while she looks so sad and lonely there
I absolutely love her when she smiles
I finally came in and sat down next to Tommy. He turned his head around looking surprise. I could tell this was the first time he had noticed me. His happy surprise features turned into confusion. He touched my jacket and suddenly I got uncomfortable. "Why are you wearing a jacket in the middle of summer?" Tommy asked.
"I get cold easily," I simply stated.
His eyebrows furrowed. I guess I didn't sound too convincing. Luckily, he let it drop and I started to help him mix the song. I hadn't hung out with Tommy for a long time. It was very refreshing. I told him some stories of Christian and I, and we reminisced about our past three, almost four years together.
Just to make him jealous, I told Tommy about my brand new car Christian got me. I told him that it made his viper look like a Toyota. He laughed when I said that and I laughed along with him. But then he shot back saying that if it wasn't for him I wouldn't of gotten it. I really missed this. Since Chris came into my life, there was a lot of things I missing out on, because I would spend most of it with him. Not that I mind. I loved spending every second with him, but I missed Tommy something awful. It started to get even hotter as the day went on.
I was in hospitality drinking a bottle of water to cool myself down. I couldn't take my jacket off though. Tommy came in and caught me fanning myself. He laughed as I jumped when he tapped me on the shoulder. "Just take the jacket off Jude," he demanded.
"Um, no, I'm fine," I said trying to think of a better excuse.
"Fine? You're sweating, and it's almost ninety degrees in here." He said and looked at me curiously.
I touched my forehead. I hadn't notice I was sweating. I faced away from him and pushed up one of my sleeves. You could still see the fingerprints. I closed my eyes and pushed the sleeve back down. "Jude?" Tommy asked, worry evident in his voice. I could hear his footsteps come closer.
'Please don't, please don't! Don't come near me, please!' I kept praying as Tommy touched my shoulder. I jumped and backed away. He stared at me. He looked scared and worried. I faced the floor. He took one step forward and I took one step back. One step forward; one step back. "What's wrong with you Jude!?" Tommy yelled.
"Nothing," I whispered. I even knew that was a lie. What was wrong with me?
"Bull!" he yelled again and grabbed my shoulders. Oh, god! I closed my eyes waiting for an impact of a fist. I stood there, eyes closed, just waiting. When none came, I slowly opened my eyes. Tommy was still there, looking hurt. I was wondering what he was waiting for. He just shook his head, and walked away.
My eyebrows furrowed. I couldn't understand why he didn't hit me. I deserved to get hit. I was there, acting like a total fool to him, and I deserved to get hit. It felt weird, not to get punished for my idiotic behavior. The weird thing was, is that I didn't like it. I was hoping for him to "punish" me.
I drove home and laid down on my bed. Thoughts were swimming around my head. I took off my jacket and looked at the bruises again. I took a deep breath and picked up the phone. I called Tommy asking if I could come over. He said I could. I wrote a note to Christian and left it on the fridge. I made it to his house and knocked on the door. He let me in immediately.
I sat on the couch and Tommy sat beside me. I smiled at him but he didn't smile back. "Hi," I whispered.
"What's wrong?" Tommy asked bluntly.
My smile faded almost immediately. "I was just…wondering something," I replied. As soon I said that I regretted it.
"And what's that?" Tommy asked.
I looked down at the floor. I followed the lines in the wooden floor. What was I supposed to say? I was really wondering why he hadn't hit me. But I couldn't tell him that. I couldn't ask him. I tried to find every excuse I could. Tommy waited patiently. He was staring at me with worry in his eyes. I had really scared him that morning.
"Did I scare you?" I finally asked. That was a good replacement.
Tommy nodded. "You really did. You acted like…like I was going to hurt you or something." I looked up in his baby blue eyes. He looked into mine and then his face went into shock. "You thought I was going to hurt you." That wasn't a question.
"I deserved it. Especially the way I was…" I started.
"Deserved it!?" Tommy shouted incredulously. "What would ever make you think you deserved it?"
I didn't answer. He was actually making me mad. Even though he didn't know it, he was insulting Christian. Of course I deserved it. I was being stupid, like always. "It was a bad idea to come here," I whispered and stood up. I walked to the door and Tommy followed.
"Jude, wait," he begged.
I opened the door and there stood Christian. There was me being stupid again. I shouldn't have even gone to Tommy's in the first place. I knew Christian would be mad. I ignored my better instincts.
I looked at Tommy over my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Tommy. I have to go." I said before heading out the door with Christian. I drove my car and he drove his. We reached home.
I walked into the living room and stood there in the middle. Christian walked up to me and pushed me aside roughly. He ran his fingers through his ruffled hair. It looked like he was trying to calm himself down. I didn't say anything. I just waited to see what he was going to do to me tonight.
"Do you love Tommy?" Christian asked suddenly.
I looked at him with a questioning gaze. "Um, not any more than a brother," I answered a little confused.
He started to cry a little bit. "I feel like I'm losing you," he confessed.
I walked up to him. He could never lose me. "Of course not, Chris," I tried to reassure him.
He kissed me softly on the lips. I quickly kissed back and he pulled way. "If I ever lost you, I would kill myself."
"Well, you don't have to worry about that. I would never, and could never leave you."
"I love you, Jude."
I smiled and kissed him. "I love you too, Christian."
Next chapter will be good for Jommy lovers...and it's the night Jude mentions in the prologue. So, again, it's going to be really hard for me to write. And my friend, who half this story is based on, would like to thank all of you for the support!! PLEASE REVIEW!!
