No Greater Burden
Chapter Nine
Sully hadn't closed his eyes all night as he pondered whether to return home with Michaela or continue on to the reservation alone. As the sun began to light the night sky, he finally reached a decision, but it was one that weighed heavy on his heart. With his back stiff from sitting too long in an upright position, Sully rose to his feet and started to break camp.
Exhaustion, brought on by lack of sleep, and made worse by his argument with Michaela, permeated his entire body, causing his mind and limbs to move in slow motion. While loading the supplies into the wagon, he noticed his wife emerge from the tent with the children. For a brief moment, their eyes met. They both quickly looked away and continued with their chores, each one wishing they knew what the other was thinking, but too stubborn to bridge the gap that had come between them.
Michaela settled the children by the fire and started breakfast. The way Sully avoided coming near any of them brought a tension to the day that she had hoped might have dissipated by morning. She glanced over at her husband and noticed the absent-minded way he loaded the wagon. When the water for coffee had boiled, she prepared a cup and, ever so slowly, began to approach him from behind. From less than a foot away, she reached out to touch his shoulder, but hesitated, leaving the gesture unfinished. Sully sensed the nearness of her fingers before they settled lightly on his arm. Just as he turned to face her, Michaela handed him the cup of coffee.
"Thank you," he said, avoiding her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Sully." When he didn't respond, she continued. "I'm sorry we quarreled, especially in front of Josef. I was wrong to announce we weren't continuing without discussing it with you when we were alone." When Sully finally met her eyes, she was startled by the disappointment etched across his face.
He drew in a shaky breath before speaking. "I don't…I don't want ta go home, Michaela." He paused to measure his words, the next ones being the most difficult. "But, if it's what ya gotta do ta feel safe…then we'll go."
Michaela looked away in guilt, knowing what agreeing to return home was costing him. Last night her mind had been made up about going home. But as she lay awake all night weighing her needs against the needs of everyone else on the trip – Sully, the children, and Dorothy – she was more confused than ever about what to do. She remained quiet for several long moments searching for a response from deep within her.
"Michaela?" Sully couldn't read her expression.
She met his gaze again. "Sully, I…" Her thoughts were interrupted by a commotion from behind.
"Papa, look," Katie called, pointing in the direction of the woods.
Michaela and Sully turned toward the trees and saw an Indian hurrying into their camp with a baby clutched to his chest. A woman and a young boy trailed close behind. The Indian looked right at Michaela.
"Can you help our baby? He became much worse during the night."
Sully stared at the family, recognizing the Indian who had found Josef. Without hesitation, he retrieved Michaela's medical bag as she led the worried parents and their crying baby inside the tent.
"That's them," Josef whispered to his sister, while they ate their breakfast. "That's the Indian who found me."
An older boy stood outside the tent right where his parents had told him to wait. He was nervous in the white camp, but curious about the two children seated by the fire. He recognized the boy as the one his father had found in the woods. In his own camp, with the little boy so scared, he found the courage to talk to him. Here in the white camp, he was afraid.
Sully reminded Katie and Josef to stay outside with Dorothy and Brian. Approaching the entrance to the tent, he stopped to speak with the Indian child before going inside. "Why don't ya go sit with the other kids? Your folks could be in there a while."
The boy fell mute and slowly lowered himself to the ground to wait for his family. Deciding not to push him, Sully entered the tent with a basin of water. He set it on the ground, and he then handed Michaela her medical bag.
"How long has he been like this?" Michaela asked. She removed the blanket from around the infant and loosened his garments.
Night Crane studied her intently as Running Wolf stood rigid in the corner of the tent, arms crossed at his chest. "He started feeling ill the day before yesterday, but he became so hot during the night. It is difficult for him to breathe. Please help my baby," the worried mother pleaded.
Michaela removed her stethoscope from her bag and held it to the baby's chest. "I promise to do everything in my power to help him. I'm Doctor Quinn." She introduced herself then quieted to listen to the congestion in the baby's lungs. First, we need to lower his temperature. What is his name?"
"New Promise," Night Crane replied, sensing a strange familiarity that she couldn't place, but quickly dismissed. "He is six months old." Just then the baby let out a piercing scream. "What is the matter with him?"
Michaela held the baby in a sitting position and lightly tapped on his back to loosen any accumulating phlegm. She gently placed the infant on his back and removed a jar of ointment from her bag. "I can't be certain, but I believe he has a serious catarrh. I'm going to rub some of this menthol balm on his chest to help him breathe more easily," she explained to the parents. After applying the salve to the baby's chest, she wiped her hands on a dishcloth. Michaela carried the baby to the basin, and placed a dampened cloth on his forehead. She slowly poured water over him to cool his body.
"What are you doing to him," Running Wolf barked. He felt helpless and ill at ease as he watched the white doctor, a woman no less, tend to his child.
"His temperature is very high. Cooling his body with water is the fastest way I know to lower it," Michaela explained. "Sully, would you brew some willow bark tea, please?"
"Sure," he said. Crossing to the other side of the small tent, he took a small amount of bark from her bag and exited.
"You use our medicine?" Running Wolf asked. He tried hard not to let his astonishment show.
"I use the most effective treatment I can find. In this case, I've found willow bark to be gentler on infants than quinine."
"How did you learn about the tea?" Running Wolf continued to stand with his arms crossed at his chest.
"I was taught by a Cheyenne medicine man. He's a dear family friend," Michaela replied. She remembered just how dear a friend he was and how much she had been looking forward to seeing him before the terrible events of the past few days.
Night Crane studied the doctor carefully as if trying to unravel a mystery. "Where is your home?"
"Colorado Springs. It's about four days from here," Michaela said, as she continued to pour water over the baby.
The young woman continued to stare at the doctor. "I am called Night Crane and this is my husband Running Wolf."
"I'm pleased to meet both of you." Michaela said, nodding first to Night Crane then toward Running Wolf. Sully returned with a cup of willow bark tea and handed it to Night Crane's outstretched hand. "Back home, they call me Dr. Mike and you've already met my husband, Sully." Michaela lifted the baby's head, while his mother held the cup and used a spoon to administer the warm liquid. "What are you doing all the way out here?" Michaela asked the woman, after the baby had swallowed a few spoonfuls of the tea.
"We are traveling to the Cheyenne reservation in the Oklahoma territory," Night Crane announced, fully aware that this revelation would displease her husband.
Running Wolf shot her a steely glare while Michaela and Sully shared a look of surprise.
Michaela applied her stethoscope to the baby's chest again. "The balm I applied seems to be easing his breathing." She glanced at Sully warily, regretting they hadn't finished their conversation from this morning. This wasn't the way she intended to tell him. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to Night Crane. "I would feel better…that is…I think it would be best if I kept an eye on him for the next few days."
"You have done enough," Running Wolf said, moving to his baby's side. He stroked his head, smoothing his damp, raven hair. "Tell us what to do and we'll do it."
"Illnesses such as this in infants are quite unpredictable." She closed her eyes, took another deep breath, and opened them again. "My family is also headed in that direction." As the words left her mouth, she quickly glanced at Sully then just as quickly averted her eyes. "As his doctor, I would feel more comfortable if we traveled together so I could keep an eye on New Promise for the next day or two."
"So would I," Night Crane agreed, sharing a conspiratorial glance with Michaela.
Sully stared hard at Michaela in disbelief, uncertain if he heard her correctly. Even if he had heard her right, the meaning in her words was less than clear. He wasn't sure if Michaela had changed her mind about going home altogether, or if she was only postponing their return so she could monitor the baby for the next few days.
Running Wolf knew he was outnumbered. He stared at the three adults for a few moments. "We will travel with you until New Promise is well." He abruptly exited the tent, uneasy about this unexpected turn of events.
Night Crane watched him leave, knowing it went against his nature to place his trust in strangers, especially white strangers. She turned to Michaela and Sully as she lifted her baby into her arms, giving his head a gentle kiss. "Please forgive my husband. He is used to taking care of us. It makes him uncomfortable to rely on anyone else. I speak for both of us when I say we are grateful for your help."
"I understand," Michaela replied.
"Can the baby travel today?" Sully asked his wife.
"Yes, but we should stop often."
"I'll finish loadin' the wagon an' see if Runnin' Wolf needs any help with his supplies," Sully said, nodding farewell to both women before exiting the tent.
"Nahko'e," Eyes Like the Sky called, as he bounded into the tent nearly colliding with Sully. Michaela recognized it as the Cheyenne word for mother.
His mother held up her finger to silence him. "Remember your manners," his mother gently chastised in Cheyenne, turning toward Michaela. "This is my elder son, Eyes Like the Sky."
"I'm pleased to meet you," Michaela greeted. She was struck by the blueness of the young boy's eyes. She turned back to Night Crane. "You may rest in the tent until we're ready to leave. I'll be right outside if you need me."
"Thank you," Night Crane replied, and then turned her attention back to the infant now asleep in her arms.
Michaela found Sully loading the last of the bedrolls into the wagon. She approached him slowly with her hands clasped in front of her.
Sully sensed her near and turned to face her, his eyes remote. "How far we goin' Michaela?" His voice was tight with frustration.
Michaela was startled by his sharp tone and rigid body language. "What do you mean?"
He stared hard at her. "Are we gonna travel 'til their baby's well and then turn around?" Sully asked, more as an accusation than a question. He turned his back to her, fastening the cover on the wagon, pulling hard on the straps on each side. When the cover was secure, he took several steps toward the horses.
Color flooded her cheeks. Michaela took two steps forward grasping his hand to keep him from leaving. "Sully, I was frightened and exhausted last night. I wasn't thinking clearly." Sully felt the tension in his body ease a little as he turned back around to face her. She continued, "I was awake all night long thinking about what you said, about what we wanted out of this trip for ourselves and for our children. You were right about something. What happened out here could just as easily have happened at home. To be honest, I'm still afraid of what else might happen, but I want us to continue…for you…and the children. I was about to tell you all this when the Indians arrived with their baby." Sully stepped closer to her and reached for her other hand, gently caressing the back of it with his thumb. "When Night Crane said her family was headed in the same direction, it was as if I was given the final sign I needed to trust my decision." She gazed into the deep blue ocean of his eyes. "I want us all to visit with Cloud Dancing again. I want the children to learn about the Cheyenne. I want that more than anything for us, Sully."
Sully drew her to him in a tight embrace that conveyed what her words had meant to him. "You sure 'bout this?"
"Yes."
"Thank you." He kissed her temple while caressing her head. "Everythin's gonna be all right. You'll see." He sealed his gratitude with a soft kiss on her lips. She deepened the kiss then nuzzled into the warmth of his chest.
For the better part of a day, the two families traveled in the same direction, along the same roads, but remained separate. Even though they stopped to rest at the same time, ate at the same time, and tended to their horses at the same time, it appeared to be by coincidence instead of a deliberate decision. The families hardly spoke to each other, except to exchange idle comments about the changing landscape or to discuss which road to take. Their interactions were guarded and distant, just short of tense.
As the baby's doctor, Michaela had the most interaction with the Indian family. At her insistence, they stopped every few hours so she could examine him. In these encounters, she found Running Wolf and his wife to be devoted to each other and their family, but intensely private. Night Crane seldom spoke, except to her husband and her children, but Michaela noticed that she observed everything quite closely. While tending to the baby, Michaela thought about how much she missed her interactions with the Cheyenne, who had become such an important part of her life when she first arrived in Colorado. Being with Night Crane made her think of Snow Bird, and she became curious about the young woman's stories of survival and her hopes and dreams for the future. She longed to know why they traveled to the reservation now and of the significance of the baby's name, New Promise. Michaela was certain there was deep meaning in that name. But for now, she would set aside her curiosity to focus on her tiny patient. Ensuring his welfare was her top priority. At their last stop, she was relieved to find that New Promise's temperature was normal and his breathing regular. Despite the progress he had made, he still had a persistent cough and congestion in his lungs that needed to be monitored for signs of pneumonia.
It was a warm day. The sky was a cloudless blue with a light breeze that rustled the leaves. As they reached the midway point between Colorado Springs and Oklahoma, the landscape transformed from mountains and forests into the low, flat plains. After passing through short rolling hills, the road flattened to reveal open prairie grasslands that stretched for miles in a golden hue, their tall stalks bending in the breeze. It was a vast expanse of nothingness, no mountains, no trees, no streams, only grass and more grass as far as the eye could see. To the travelers used to the mountains of Montana and Colorado, the horizon seemed empty and featureless.
At the last stop for the day, Sully and Running Wolf discussed the best way to travel to the reservation. Now that the families were traveling together, at least for a few days, it was no longer a matter of finding the most direct route. It was also a priority to travel in a manner that wouldn't attract the attention of the Army or the nearby cattle ranchers. Running Wolf's knowledge of the area around Oklahoma, particularly the location of the Army forts, was unexpected. For reasons he couldn't explain, it put Sully on guard. From the little he had ascertained about his background, he assumed that the Indian had spent most of his life in the north. Given his familiarity with the terrain, Sully wondered if he hadn't once lived in this part of the country as well. If he did, Running Wolf wasn't ready to offer that information yet.
Both Sully and Running Wolf agreed that it would take about four days to arrive at the reservation on their chosen route. They also agreed on the best place to stop for a day to break up the travel. The horses needed to rest and the children could use some time to play and enjoy the land. Running Wolf remained remote toward Sully, but he respected his knowledge of the terrain. Sully sensed impatience, along with apprehension, in the Indian. At times, he thought he seemed eager to get to the reservation and at other times worried. From what he knew of the conditions at the Indian Agency, Sully couldn't blame him for any ambivalence he had about making it their home.
The children were curious about one another as well, often eyeing each other from across the wagon. Taking their cues from the adults, they kept their distance, but continued to steal glances. Katie was interested in meeting the Indian boy with the blue eyes. Josef, still distracted by the burden he was carrying, didn't pay the other children much attention. Ever since his conversation with his father about the tracks, Josef had been sticking close to his sister. It was as if he saw Katie as his protection from his father's probing questions. He played games with her and he sat beside her drawing pictures when she wanted to read quietly. He was afraid if he were alone, for even a few minutes, his father would start asking questions again.
It had been a full day since his father mentioned the tracks. Josef wondered whether he had forgotten about them now that the Indian family was traveling with them. Knowing his father, that wasn't likely. He also wondered if his father had told his mother and if she was disappointed in him. Josef thought about going to his father and telling the truth, since he didn't think it was possible to feel any worse than he already did. However, the mere idea of confessing to being responsible for Wolf's death frightened him too much. Instead, he remained trapped in a prison of his emotions.
Brian was curious about Running Wolf and Night Crane. Once when they stopped to eat, he tried to engage them in conversation. He asked them where they were from, why they were going to the reservation, and if they had lived on another reservation. The Indian couple was polite, but avoided answering any of his questions. Brian knew they weren't prepared to share their story with him just yet. They had no reason to trust him.
Dorothy was filled with questions about the Indian family, too. While researching the Cheyenne, Cloud Dancing had taught her a great deal about the characteristics that distinguished them from other tribes. Night Crane was a beautiful woman. She had clearly defined features of the Cheyenne and looked to be about thirty years old, several years younger than her husband. To Dorothy, Running Wolf didn't look to be Cheyenne, nor did his dress match the descriptions in her head. She wondered if he was from the northern part of the tribe. She also wondered if they knew Cloud Dancing and if they could tell her if he was all right. Her greatest fear was arriving at the reservation and learning that he was ill or hurt.
When the families stopped for the evening, they arranged their tents on opposite ends of the campsite and made two fires. Michaela checked on the baby for the last time that day. She approached her husband with the suggestion that they ask the Indian family to join them for supper. After the lack of otherwise necessary interaction between the families during the day's ride, it was evident to Sully that they were not interested in exchanging even general friendly formalities. The two families remained as they were, into the night, separate within each other's company.
After breakfast the next day, Eyes Like the Sky sat alone by the edge of camp with his legs crossed in front of him watching the two white children chase each other around the wagon. Judging by the gales of laughter coming from their direction, the game looked like fun. The shy child longed to join in, but he hung back, choosing instead to play his familiar role as observer. It seemed he had spent much of his life on the outside looking in, always alone.
During the time they lived in the Army camp and on the reservation, he hadn't made any friends. Other children didn't seem to like him. He had no reason to believe that these children would be any different than the Indian children with whom he had grown up or the white children at the Army camp. Having a Cheyenne mother and a white father made him an outcast in both worlds. Eyes Like the Sky wondered if he would ever find a place where he would fit in.
As she circled the wagon, Katie noticed the Indian boy watching their game. From the look in his eyes, she thought he might like to join them. He seemed lonely and eager for friends. Katie stopped running and stared at the boy for an instant. When Josef caught up to her, she whispered into his ear, took his hand, and together they walked toward the boy.
"Hi! I'm Katie Sully," she said, standing in front of him. "You already met my brother, Josef."
Josef nodded. "Hi."
Eyes Like the Sky glanced up at the two children. He remembered being introduced to them when their families first started traveling together, but he couldn't recall their names until Katie mentioned them again. What he did recall was the color of Katie's hair. He had never seen hair so light before and thought it looked like a bright burst of sunshine. "I'm called Eyes Like the Sky," he replied hesitantly. Having grown up expecting rejection, he kept himself on guard.
"That's a funny name," Josef blurted, shyly standing beside his sister.
"Joey!" Katie chastised. "I think your name is nice. You do have eyes like pieces of the sky."
The boy smiled at her in appreciation. "What does Katie mean?"
"I don't know," she replied, having never thought about the question before.
"Why are you called Katie?" He rephrased the question.
"Katherine was my pa's mother's name."
"I'm named after my grandpa," Josef supplied proudly. "He's in heaven."
"Where's heaven?"
"It's where people go when they die," Josef explained, surprised at how little the older boy knew.
Eyes Like the Sky had never heard of heaven before and Josef's explanation left him even more confused. "When my people pass to the spirit world, they follow the hanging road to the camp in the stars."
"Oh," Katie replied, a puzzled expression on her face. "In heaven you get to see all the other people who died. When my grandma died, she got to go back to be with grandpa."
The camp in the stars and heaven sounded alike to the young child. Eyes Like the Sky wondered if they didn't have two names for the same place. He wanted to know more about these white children. "Did you have any other names?" the Indian boy asked.
Katie sat down in the grass. "My middle name is Elizabeth, after my ma's mother."
Eyes Like the Sky took a seat across from her. "Middle name?"
"Yes, my full name is Katherine Elizabeth Sully, but everyone calls me Katie."
Eyes Like the Sky didn't understand the concept of a middle name. He only knew he didn't have one. "That's not what I mean. What I mean is, were you called anything before Katie?"
"No. Why would I have another name?"
"Cheyenne children are given one name at birth, then at six or seven we receive our real name. Later in life, if we do a great deed, we may take another name," the boy explained.
"What do you gotta do to get a new name?" Josef asked, as he quietly sat next to his sister.
"You might be given a new name for an act of bravery or for doing an important deed for the tribe," he explained. "There was a man in our village who was a successful hunter. He always brought back enough meat to feed our people. The elders named him Never Go Hungry."
Josef thought that he'd like to do something worthy of a new name. As of now he could only think of one name he deserved - Wolf Killer.
Katie rested her chin on her hand and considered what Eyes Like the Sky had told them. "We have one name for our whole life."
"Oh." He thought it odd.
"Did you have another name?" Josef asked, interested.
"I was called Blue Bird when I was born. My mother named me Eyes Like the Sky when I was seven. I hope, when I become a man, I will bring honor to my people and then I will be given a new name…a name that doesn't tell people I'm different." His eyes drifted toward his father who was talking with Katie and Josef's father. "Are you part Cheyenne?"
"No," Katie replied. "What made you think that?"
"Your father wears the beads and medicine pouch of my people," he explained, still staring at Sully.
"Papa lived with the Cheyenne a long time ago," she replied. "It was before he met Mama and had us."
"Cloud Dancing found him when he was lost," Josef chimed in. "He's our Cheyenne father. That's what our papa says."
"Your Cheyenne father?" the Indian boy asked, with keen interest.
"Papa says that Cloud Dancing is like a brother to him and the Cheyenne believe that the brother is also the father of the children," Katie explained, repeating what she had been taught.
"That is true," Eyes Like the Sky replied. The children lingered in silence for a long while, having run out of topics of conversation.
"You wanna play with us?" Katie asked.
"What do you want to play?"
"How 'bout hide-n-seek?" she suggested.
"What's that?" Eyes Like the Sky asked.
"You don't know how to play hide-n-seek?" Josef questioned in disbelief. "Everyone knows how to play that."
The little boy shook his head, embarrassed. "Let's play the coyote game instead."
"We don't know how to play that," Josef replied.
Eyes Like the Sky thought of another game they could play. "Do you know how to track animals?"
Josef looked away. "Not really," he answered in a small voice.
"Joey, that's not true. We know a lot about tracking. Papa's been teaching us," Katie replied, confused by her brother's behavior.
"Let's see if we can find something to track. There's probably rabbit or deer tracks around here. If we're really lucky, maybe we'll find bobcat tracks or a bear," Eyes Like the Sky suggested, rising to his feet.
Katie stood up, looking a little apprehensive. "Okay, but…we can't go too far into the woods."
"We won't. We'll just go a little ways to see if we can find a track. We won't actually track the animal. Whoever finds the first track wins."
Josef's heart was beating with fright. "I don't wanna play that."
"Why not? You love tracking with Papa," Katie told him.
"I just don't want to," he snapped.
"C'mon Joey, it'll be fun," Katie persisted.
Josef jumped to his feet. "No! I won't play that." Noticing how Katie and Eyes Like the Sky recoiled at his outburst, he collected himself and steadied his quivering voice. "Let's teach Eyes Like the Sky hide-n-seek instead."
Katie put her hands on her hips. "I don't understand why you've been acting so strange. We're gonna play the tracking game and you can go play by yourself." Katie turned to go, but she stopped when she noticed that Eyes Like the Sky remained with Josef.
Eyes Like the Sky sensed something was bothering Josef. Even more than that, he didn't want to be responsible for causing a rift between the siblings. "I'd like to learn hide-n-seek," he said to Katie in a small voice. He then faced Josef. "How do you play?"
Josef's face beamed. He liked the new boy already. "It's easy. Two of us hide and the other person has to find them," Josef explained.
"That's all?"
"Yeah. That's all. Katie you can be the first one to find us," Josef offered. It was a small peace offering to bring his sister into the game.
Katie threw up her hands in a sign of surrender. "All right, I'll count to ten. You and Eyes Like the Sky go hide, and I'll look for you." She closed her eyes and began to count, while the boys dashed off to find their hiding places.
To Be Continued...
