The soft click of the latch was what woke him. Tired lids rose to reveal sleep-hazed eyes before the realization of the significance behind the sound dawned on the man and he shot up, glancing around wildly before groaning at the pain that suddenly burn across his stomach. It was for naught though because the only sight his wide lavender eyes were met with was that of his tidy but silent room, and a pewter salver(1) balanced on the side table holding his breakfast. He groaned and sunk back into the mattress, silently cursing himself for being too late.

Why? Why did he have to say that last night? Why couldn't he have just kept his mouth shut? Misaki probably never wanted to see him again. He had barely slept from the regret that flooded his mind. Why did he have to be such an idiot?

No, he was going to have to stop thinking like this. He was Usami Akihiko and he would have his way, god damn it! If Misaki didn't want to face him, then he was just going to have to make him.

And he had a plan.

+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+

Blank eyes stared across the wooden-paneled floor, hollow and flat, they gazed sightless at the small clumps of dirt that littered his room. His limps were stiff from lack of movement and it pained him to shift them, something he discovered a few hours ago when he had gone to deliver his master's breakfast.

Aside from that small exertion though, he hadn't moved all night, having collapsed there hours ago after hearing those words. Yes those words. Words he longed for. Words he had spent every day praying for. He had begged for those words, with every fiber of his being.

And now he had them, he would do anything to rewrite time and avoid those dreaded syllables. Because the pain he was feeling now was not worth it. Nothing was worth this. Nothing.

A low keening escaped from him and he curled further into himself, wrapping his arms over his head as if to shield himself from the hurt, even though he knew the assault came not from any external forces. Every muscle was taut; eyes squeezed shut and teeth clenched, he attempted to fight back against the pain. Just think of something else. Think of lemon mousse cake. Think of the folding technique unique to combining the egg whites with the lemon and cream. Just don't think about…don't think about—

I love you…

Fingers tangled themselves into the dirt-covered strands and pulled, trying to silence the echo of the confession. But it was entirely futile; the sentence kept repeating itself, pounding against the walls of his mind until he could focus on nothing else.

Why? Why did he have to say that?

Why did he have to say that when they both knew it wasn't true?

+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+

A small chime came from the grandfather clock just outside the door to his bedroom. Violet eyes looked up from the blank paper as he inwardly counted the chimes.

One…

Two…

Three…

Misaki was late. It was an hour past the time he should have appeared with his dinner. How was he supposed to catch his mouse if said mouse never approached the trap? He gazed in frustration at the bell pull by his bed. All his life he had had to do nothing more than pull on that tasseled rope and a servant would appear within a few moments, ready to cater to his every desire. But now his hands were tied. Pulling that rope might summon his lone servant, but it would also spoil the bait. He wanted to throw something it was so frustrating, but he knew he must be silent.

Still, if Misaki never came, then the whole thing would be for naught. He turned back to the white sheet in front of him. He had tried to pass the time in the usual manner, jotting down and scribbling out whatever ideas that came to his mind, but at the moment there was nothing. He was empty. It scared him slightly. Without the presence on his new valet he was idealess, something which had never before happened in the entirety of his life. And to not be able to write…that was…

He needed Misaki. It was no longer just a greedy desire, but an actual essential aspect of his existence.

He could not understand though why the boy had run. As soon as he had confessed this to him, the other fled, giving Akihiko nothing more than a fleeting glimpse of agony stricken features.

Suddenly his ears picked up the soft tread of feet outside his bedroom door and he dove beneath the covers, instantly relaxing his face into an illusion of sleep. The sounds outside stopped and the author took the opportunity to steady his breathing, as his heart seemed to be beating like a racehorse on derby day(2).

After what seemed like an eternity the door finally opened, the creaking of its hinges cutting through the silence making the larger man's breath hitch. Quickly he corrected his mistake, once again slowing his breathing as he listened to the subtle pad of bare feet over the Persian rug. There was a small clink of china as what he assumed was the tray containing his dinner, was set down beside him. After that though was silence. No retreating footsteps, no creaking hinges as his valet fled the room. Not even a ruffling of fabric or a shifting of weight over the floor to indicate that the other was still there. Nothing but silence. No wait, he could hear it, the subtle whirling of gears and the feint ticking of Misaki's heart. Misaki was standing over him, unmoving as a statue but still, he was there. A hesitant whisper broke the tense atmosphere.

"Usagi-san?" The author did not respond.

"Are you asleep, Usagi-san?" Still he gave no indication that he had heard. "Well, I guess that makes sense. After all, there really isn't much else to do when you're stuck in bed all day." The sounds of shaky laughter fell upon the man's still form before dying down into nothingness. The functioning gears of Misaki's machinery were once again the only sound in the bedroom. It was louder now and the noble wondered if Misaki had let out his wings. The other day the smaller man had told him about the cramped feeling of keeping them concealed for too long and Akihiko knew he released them when he was nervous.

"Why did you say that Usagi-san?" There was another pause, just long enough for Akihiko to know that the brunette really wasn't expecting an answer. "Do you realize how painful it was to hear you say that? Do you even know how much it hurts to finally hear the words you've prayed for all your life only to realize they aren't true? Why are you so cruel Usagi-san?" Violet eyes snapped open and strong fingers shot out to coil around a bony wrist.

"You thought I was lying?!"

"U-Usagi-san! You're awa—!?"

"Answer the question!"

"Yes—I mean o-of c-course I thought you were lying." Wide peridot eyes caught the sudden flash of hurt within the gaze of the other and widened even further, though whether it was in surprise or fear, the author could not make out.

"Why would you think that Misaki? What reason do I have to lie?" Slender arms tugged fruitlessly in a vain attempt at freedom. As he had thought the artificial wings had been released and now they flapped frantically as he tried to pull away. The only result though was a strong breeze that rose up to blow the silver hair away from the noble's face and send the blank papers from earlier flying into the air.

"What reason do you have to tell the truth?"

"I have countless reasons. Do you want me to list them out for you?"

"Stop it Usagi-san. Just stop it. This joke has long since lost its humor."

"You think this is a joke?! Misaki, I love you!"

"Shut up! Stop lying to me!" Not once did Misaki look up, rather he had hidden his expression behind a thick mess of coffee tinted strands, and without the sight of those forest green eyes, Akihiko began to lose heart.

"Misaki, I'm not lying! Why won't you believe me?!"

"Because I have no reason to."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that since the time you were sixteen you've bedded almost every servant in the manor, along with any and all that came as guests! And now I find you living with a woman! Do you really think a few kisses are going to lead me to believe that you love me?! Do you really take me for such a fool?" Misaki was panting now, his eyes wild and frantic, like a trapped animal trying at anything in order to avoid injury. Akihiko could not see this and could only stare, jaw hanging open in shock at the truth that spilled out.

"You knew?"

"How could I not bloody know when I was the one who washed your bleedin' sheets every bloody time!" Not in a very long time had he felt as furious as this. He knew he was acting unlike himself, but his body no longer seemed to be under his control. A heated inferno had lit in his stomach, telling him to hurt, to wound, to rip his enemy to shreds before they did the same to him. The part of him that was telling him to stop, the same part that was causing his chest to squeeze at the guilt in the rabbit's eyes, was slowly being burned away in the wake of his new fiery self.

"Misaki, they mean nothing to me. Nothing more than a means to pass the time and get back at my father." Akihiko hated where he was now, reduced to making excuses and practically begging for forgiveness, like a wife caught cheating on her husband. It tore at his pride but he didn't know what else he could do. He needed to convince Misaki of his feelings, a task that now seemed practically impossible. Once again the automaton tugged at his wrist but Akihiko only held on tighter.

"Is that so? And how do I know I'm not the same. How do I know your words are true when I've heard them spoken to practically every footman and kitchen maid from here to Brighton?!"

"Because you're different Misaki! You are above them. The feelings I have for you are beyond anything I've ever felt in my life!"

"You're a liar! You've built your whole career on telling lies! I'm nothing more than another conquest to you! The half human, half-monster freak! The fifty year old in a child's body! I'm just something different you can add to your collection. Now tell me Akihiko, tell me I'm wrong!"

The noble felt as if a great hammer had struck him at the sound if his name being spat like poison from the other's lips. Not his title, not some insult, not even the childish nickname he had begun looking forward to. No, it was his name, and it sounded like an accusation of sin knifed straight to his gut. At its sound all the fight died inside of him, withering into mere carcasses ready to be scattered by the wind.

"Look at me Misaki."

"No!"

"Misaki…"

"Shut up!"

"Misaki, look at me…please." There was a shaky gasp and slowly the automaton's face lifted. Akihiko never said please. He was not a man to ask, but to order. The fact that he could show such manners to a freak like him… the shock acted like a bucket of ice water, in an instant dousing all the flames within him allowing for the other voice, the one stemming from his heart, to finally be heard.

Amethyst locked with emerald and they froze, each trying to read the other, both attempting in some way to make clear not only their own thoughts but of those of the man opposite to them. Misaki's limbs shook as he breathed heavily; trying to regain the smiling mask he usually kept to hide his vulnerable emotions. It would not appear though, the author's plea having scattered it into dust. Desperately he attempted to build another one, but from the look on the other's face it was too late. Akihiko could see it all clearly. He could see the despair and the loneliness, and the pain. What the lavender eyes were most focused on though was the longing. From one look he was able to discern just how much Misaki wanted him, and also with that look he was able to pick out the different parts of that want. The tenderness, the admiration, the protectiveness, even a slight hint of lust. But most of all though, he could see the love… Realizing what the noble had done, Misaki flinched away.

"Misaki." The word was both a request and a call. At the same time, it told Misaki that the author had seen everything and had understood, it told him that what had been revealed, had also been accepted. Gently cool fingers released the boy's wrist in favor of rising to tenderly cup one porcelain cheek. A soft pull was all it took for the automaton to once again turn his face to the other.

"Misaki, I want you to look at me as I say this to you." The brunette gulped but did not look away. "I love you."

And Misaki understood.

+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+

For the first time that winter, the sky above London was clear and the stars were finally able to twinkle joyfully down upon the city's inhabitants. Emerald eyes shone back at them from within a strong-armed embrace, the absolute bliss swelling in their depths overflowed until it lit the rest of the room, giving it a calm, peaceful atmosphere as if their little sanctuary had been separated from the rest of the universe. Their only interaction with the cruel world outside was the window, with its curtains drawn back, letting in the light of the stars. Misaki kept telling himself he was going to get up and close them but it hadn't happened yet and somehow he doubted it would happen anytime soon. His belly was full and the arms of the man curled around him bore in them a unique warmth seeping out from underneath the cold, just as he had always suspected. Opposite there was a fire in the hearth lending its heat to the rest of the room. The flames danced merrily in the polished surface of the violin, currently propped up on a chair, just far enough away from the flame so as not to warp. It had been barely an hour since it had been set down and the brunette could still feel its resonance vibrating beneath his chin. Giving up his view of the night sky he burrowed his face into the junction created by the neck and shoulder of a certain author.

"Mmmh…Misaki?"

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, I wasn't really asleep. Just thinking." The automaton was quiet, waiting for his master to continue. A soft upturn of the lips appeared upon the other's face as he marveled at how adorable one can seem merely from being confused. "I was thinking about you." To emphasize his point, the larger man leaned forward, it wasn't very far, just an inch or two really, and planted a chaste kiss just before the other's petite ear.

"You were thinking about me?"

"That's what I said."

"Anything in particular?"

"Hmmm…I wonder…"

"Usagi-saaaan, tell meeee." On anyone else the whiny tone of the question would have warranted complete disregard from the author, maybe even an upturned nose of disapproval if they were to persist. But from Misaki, like everything else about the boy, it was a treasure to be adored and in turn, produced a low chuckle from the resident aristocrat.

"I was thinking about what makes you happy." Large eyes blinked in bewilderment.

"What makes me happy? Why on earth would you be thinking of that?"

"Because that's what I want you to be, silly. I seem though, to have run into a wall and may be requiring a little of your assistance."

"I'm always here to help Usagi-san, you know that. Just tell me what I can do."

"Well for starters you can tell me about what you love."

"What I love?"

"In another life you would have made a very good parrot."

"Usaaagi-saaan."

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

"Couldn't resist, he says." Low grumbling fell upon the author's amused ears.

"Come on Misaki, don't be that way. Just answer the question."

"You have a funny way of asking for things."

"But you are not surprised."

"I know you too well to be surprised."

"And on the other hand I know nothing about you. So what do I have to do to get you to answer the question?"

"…I'll answer." There was a short silence in which Misaki made no indication of continuing.

"Well?"

"I'm thinking." More silence filled the space between them, until finally, "I love cake." The resulting sigh spoke of the greatest patience being tested to its absolute limit.

"Anything else you can come up with?"

"Violins?"

"…"

"Don't look at me like that! I can't really think of anything."

"Don't you ever think about wanting something?"

"Well certainly not as much as you do."

"Touché."

"You're not ashamed of that at all, are you." It was not a question.

"Tell me about your brother."

"My brother?"

"Yes. You love him, don't you?"

"Yes!"

"Was he the one who…made you?"

"Yes. He was brilliant scientist and would have been a marvelous doctor! He never did get to finished his schooling though." A melancholy air began to seep out and replace the joy that had formerly occupied the space between them. Not that there was much space to fill that is.

"Why is that?"

"We…well…couldn't really afford it. I became very ill six months before he was going to take his exams in order finish his schooling."

"You were ill?" A worried crease appeared between two silver brows, but the small finger that came up to rub out the area shortly ended its life.

"I was born with a weak constitution. I never left the house as a child and barely even left my bed. Of course there were the concerts."

"Concerts?"

"Yes, I used to play the violin so that brother could continue his education. But then I developed The Cough(3) and the concert hall I was playing at wouldn't give us the money they owed. Something about breaking a contract or something. In the end though brother had to drop out. But that was a long time ago Usagi-san. It's not important anymore."

"It's your story Misaki, and I demand to know every detail." By now Akihiko was lying on his back one arm behind his head and the other rubbing slow circles between the metal projections around Misaki's shoulder blades. Said boy was half draped over the broad chest of the silver haired rabbit, careful to avoid the other's stomach wounds at the same time as he attempted to press as much of himself to the other's firm body as possible. "So won't you consider my request Misaki?" There was a sigh of defeat.

"What else do you want to know?"

"Everything. Why do you have these?" A couple of fingers ran reverently down one copped shaft. "Just how much of you is mechanical? If your brother is such a genius, how come I've never heard of him?"

"You want me to answer everything?" The tone was almost pleading, as if he had half-hoped the answer would be no.

"Yes."

"Fine, then I guess I best start with the last question…"

"You're still waiting for me to stop you."

"..Just kind of."

"You'll be waiting for quite a while in that case."

"Alright, then, I'll start!" Usagi could have sworn that in the low grumbles that followed he could make out the word 'prick' and maybe even 'bastard' but he only smiled and continued his slow oscillations over his beloved's shoulder blades. Finally Misaki drew a deep breath and began to speech in a hurried manner, as if eager to get it over with. As he talked though, he began to slow in his speech until Akihiko was sure he was seeing the memory play before his eyes for every sentence he spoke.

"…Brother and I lost our parents when I was eight and him twenty. As a result we never seemed to have enough money. In fact, the only things of value left to us were my mother's violin and the skills my father had taught Brother in horology. It was discovered earlier on though that I possessed an affinity for the musical instrument and he, an affinity for the mechanical instruments. There wasn't much call for either though in the small seaside town we grew up in, so when I was twelve, Brother took us to London." Misaki drew in a shaky breath as he gazed at the fire, his eyes glazed over with a film of memories.

"My lungs had always been weak back then, even when we lived in the clean air of the seashore. Not to mention you could name any illness and I would most likely be speaking from experience in describing its symptoms. So needless to say, a sudden move into a tightly packed, filthy city like this one did more harm than good. It was because of me, in an attempt to prolong my life that Brother abandoned the profession of clock work in favor of a more medically oriented one." There was a shaky breath before the story continued.

"It was hard on him Usagi-san, much harder than it should have been. He would sometimes go days without food so that I might have medicine. I kept telling him to stop it and just give up already, but he wouldn't. He just kept taking care of me! He wouldn't quit! I was nothing more than a bloody burden and he wouldn't put me down!"

Tears shone at the corners of the automaton's eyes as his voice began to verge on hysterics, and Akihiko found himself once again cradling the other against his chest as he murmured sweet nothings into the shell of the automaton's ear. The younger man was beginning to regret bringing up the subject and debated telling the elder to stop, but he knew it was necessary. In order to help Misaki the way he wanted to, he needed to understand the other first. It was akin to unwrapping bandages that had become stiff with dried blood and filth in order to see the wound and clean it before wrapping it back up with fresh linens. Eventually the quiet sobs died out and the brunette was able to speak again.

"In no time it got really bad. I wasn't aware of it at the time since I really wasn't even conscious for more than a few minutes every day, if that, but Brother was getting beyond desperate. He was taking out loans he couldn't pay back, and at the same time he was getting these crazy ideas in his head. It was those ludicrous ideas that put me where I am right now. He was convinced he could keep my heart beating, of not organically then artificially by harnessing his knowledge of both clockwork and anatomy."

"Wait, so you're telling me he managed to create a machine that kept your heart beating even when the rest of your body fails,"

"Oh no, he managed to keep the rest of my organs working as well. My stomach, and my liver, as well as my tissue and muscles. Everything. All powered by protein and vitamins, just like before. I still have to eat, just lesser than a normal person."

"But that's genius!"

"And not to mention expensive. You can't even imagine the debt Brother managed to rack up just to keep me alive. He had to make deals with the most shady of folks in order to keep buying the supplies he, well really I, needed. The underbelly of London is riddled with the ugliest parasites and it just so happened that Brother managed to make a deal with the worst of them. Some secret societies type thing eventually got wind of what he was doing, and realizing just how smart he was, wanted him for their own. In exchange for the money needed, he was going to help them take over the crown. Cracked, I know," He must have caught sight of the baffled expression upon his audience's face. "But Brother had long since lost hold of his reason. He wanted me alive and if he had to turn traitor then so be it."

"That still doesn't explain why he added the wings."

"Keep your breeches on, I'm getting there. So I'm pretty sure it's obvious by now, but an organization like that isn't going to invest in anything unless they can get the greatest amount of profit from it. Not only did they want Brother as their lead scientist, the also wanted me to act as one of their soldiers. Imagine it from their point of view. What was Brother making? Why, an immortal soldier, who not only runs on half rations but can function for twice as long as any normal soldier. And just to add the icing to the cake, why not make him fly too? Do you see where I'm going with this?" There was silence as Akihiko attempted to digest all the information being shoveled down his throat.

"They…they didn't just stop at one, did they?"

"No, they didn't. Somewhere out there is my brother's son, my nephew."

"What happened to him?"

"I haven't got a clue. Just as my brother finished him and was about to install his wings the queen got wind of what was going on behind her back and parliament sent an armed guard to come arrest everyone involved. There was a struggle. I fought so hard. I stayed behind as Brother escaped through the air ducts. But something in the lab sparked and before I knew what was happening the whole street was b-blown sky high… T-that was the last I saw of my brother…or my nephew. The next day I woke up severely broken in the sewers. I-I'm not sure what happened next…I…I was s-somehow still able to f-fly…think I flew all the way into the royal bedchambers before they noticed my attack. I was forced to escape and ended up collapsing in exhaustion on the grounds of your mansion. I-I was so ready to die..."

"Misaki breathe." The tears were back now, having augmented though the last of the rushed story until Misaki's small chest was heaving, his rib cage expanding and contracting at a far too rapid pace in order for him to continue in drawing air to his lungs.

"Usa…gisan…I…I…"

"Come on Misaki look at me." Wild tear-filled eyes locked on to those of stern lavender, "Now count with me, breathe in…one….two…three…four…five. Now breathe out."

Eventually, thanks, in most part to stern instructions coupled with soothing caresses, Misaki calmed down until he was able once again to provide his blood with the oxygen it needed. The tears though didn't stop for at least another hour in which Akihiko never ceased in his steady caresses upon the other's back. It was only when the last sob hadn't been heard for a while that Akihiko felt it proper to speak again.

"Misaki, I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"But I am. I shouldn't have made you bring up those memories. It was selfish and wrong of me. Please accept my apology."

"I won't, there's no reason for it. If anything, I should be thanking you. I've had those memories locked up for twenty-nine years. I think it's high time I released them and got over it, don't you."

"If it makes you feel better, then yes it was worth it." The rabbit planted a soft kiss to the other's forehead. "But I don't want you forgetting them, alright?"

"Why not, it would make life easier, wouldn't it? I wouldn't be such a burden to you."

"Misaki, you must understand that there are many types of burdens. There are the burdens akin to carrying a load of schoolbooks. Something you know you must do because it will better your future, but at the same time you would do anything to not have to continue holding. There are also the types that are like holding on as tight as you can to a stuffed bear. Those are the types that not only make you happy as you are carrying them, but will make you happy in the future too, when you still have that bear and haven't dropped it. Do you understand?"

"So basically you're saying that holding on to my memories is like holding onto school books?" There was a nod of confirmation. Misaki placed a finger to his lips in thought. "But what's the other one?"

"My holding onto you silly. Having you next to me makes me the happiest man in the world. Holding on to you in the future will make me king of the universe."

"Don't say things like that. It's embarrassing." Misaki hid his face into his new favorite spot on the younger male, more specifically the place between his firm jawbone, and the strong muscles of his shoulder. It was warm there and he found he could feel the pulse of the other's heart if he listened close enough. It was calming and gave him a sense of closeness and belonging he did not remember ever feeling before, not even with his brother. 'I guess this makes Usagi-san my stuffed bear then. Though he's more like a stuffed rabbit really.' He thought, a smile growing on his lips as he momentarily forgot his embarrassment.

"Misaki, if you don't stop now, the embarrassment is going to be a mere tadpole compared to what I'm going to make you experience later." Misaki quickly drew back, looking into the other's eyes to see if he was serious.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Wouldn't I?"

"You're hurt Usagi-san. You would pull clear through all your stitches if we attempted to…you know!" The finger he had been shaking at the deviously grinning rabbit faltered as his face lit up like a fresh raspberry. "Stop looking at me like that! I'm warning you, I'll…"

"You'll what Misaki." Akihiko had drawn the other forward until their noses were touching. Misaki could feel every breath of the larger man burning across his lips as he carefully pronounced the syllables of his name, rolling each one over his tongue, like an epicurean tasting a new Belgian chocolate. The brunette gulped.

"I…I'll…I mean….d-do…do you love me?"

"Of course I do."

"Then prove it. Show me you're not just trying to get into my pants." Despite the flush nature of his face, Misaki's voice was steady and he was able to maintain eye contact at every words. Sure, he was protecting his own chastity, but as always, when it all boiled down, what he was doing was for his rabbit's benefit, thus giving him the confidence to continue. Nothing on earth could make Misaki allow his loved one do anything which might rip his stitches. Akihiko narrowed his eyes.

"What are you asking?"

"I want you to hold off for the next three weeks." Pupils dilated as violet eyes widened at the very idea.

"Three weeks? You can't be serious!"

"That's what I'm offering, take it or leave it."

"You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Takahashi."

"I am twenty-seven years your senior Mr. Usami. Now, do we have a deal?"

"As much as it pains me, I see that I am going to have to give in to the demands of my elder."

"Pinky promise?" The expressions on both faces morphed into goofy smiles as Misaki held up one hooked finger.

"Cross my heart." They shook.

"God your hands are bloody freezing!"

"Well then I guess you had better warm them for me."

"Oh shut up."

With that Misaki drew the covers over both of them, as his silver haired business partner wrapped both arms around him, and they both settled down for a well-earned rest.

Salver= That silver tray thing Sebastian throws around. You know what I'm talking about. If not see episode 2 of season 1. It's round like a Frisbee and is used to carry things like letters, drinks and food.

Derby Day= It is the day. Everyone goes to Derby (Pronounced daawrby, long 'a' as in you darn your socks.) Day. From the Queen to the fish mongers it is almost a holiday. It is both a fair and a race week held in May and sometimes June, located at Epsom racecourse. Although the thing is intended as a day to watch horses race it mainly acts as a day to show off the latest fashion (most notably your hat) and in the less reputable side of society, make a killing. The painting Derby Day by William Frith Powell (1856-8) gives us a nice panoramic view of the whole event. At the left we get to see the dishonest gamblers and to the right we get to see the ladies in all their finest spring attire. If you're actually interested enough to go look at the painting, you will notice a great big box in the stands. At the top of the box is where the queen sits with all the nobles and big peoples. If the Usami family were actually a family, they would be sitting up there.

The Cough= Tuberculosis. The killer of many a great men.

Now for a little history on homophobia. Feel free to ignore, this is basically me rambling.

Since I'm sure you all are like, "What?! Why is Usagisan such a slut?! He's having sex with dudes and it was alright?!" I want you all to know this was normal behavior for back then. Alright, maybe he bedded a few more than normal, but doing it with both guys and gals was an everyday thing, it just wasn't talked about. If it did then you most likely would end up Like Mr. Oscar Wilde working at a labor camp 'cuz yah happen tah like dah guyz. *snaps fingers in front of face*

Sodomy has always been around. In fact the name comes from the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, you know the two cities that suffered the wrath of god because some dudes decided to rape a few angels. Apparently these angels also happened to be dudes and thus we get the name sodomy along with the term 'pillar of salt' (but that's a whole different story.)

People never really liked gays. The reason gays are called faggots is because as punishment for their sexuality they would be thrown among the logs used to burn witches with the rest of the faggots. Faggots being bundles of sticks. It is only though in the time of King Henry VIII of England that it became outlawed. This was because the burning and burying alive of gays had become so rampant that the king had to do something to prevent people from continually taking the law into their own hands. So he outlawed 'buggery.' Which incidentally means anything from bestiality, to fetishes, to homosexuality (btw Homosexuality wasn't used in text until 1892). Buggery lost its meaning though in the 1920's when people started to use it as slang for annoying. Makes me think of my science teacher and his preference to the term, 'You're bugging the crap out of me.' *snicker snicker*

Much like many other English laws, pplz forgot about it for the next few hundred years. England has a ton of laws like these that people just forget about. Like, did you know, it was still legal to burn a witch in England until around the 1950-60's?

That is until the time of the Napoleonic wars. I was reading through documents (court cases/newspapers, you know, that stuff) when suddenly I noticed a sudden influx of hanging sailors for again, buggery. When you think about it though, it makes sense. England was at was with the French superpower. Undue attachment among the crew could be the difference between winning and losing a battle.

I believe I said before that Akihiko's behavior was normal. Let us take this moment to analyze Victorian society. Come the rise of the Evangelical church, families became closer knit (Observe the loss of the balcony in architecture of the period. Heaven forbid we do anything outside where the neighbors can see!) and cut off from the outside world, yet still there was a segregation between boy children and girl children. After a boy has been breeched he was required to play with boys and boys only. And then he went to a male only boarding school and then some kind of military academy or university, all of which forbid contact with the fairer sex. So now we have this young Victorian man, all grown up after having spent his whole life surrounded by men. And now you expect him to get married, to a WOMAN! Those fragile doll like creatures he has been told time and time again are only fit for raising children?! Seriously?! He has to spend the rest of his life with one of those?!

Needless to say, many males ended up like Sherlock Holmes.

End of Essay.