A/N: I don't own iCarly. First half of the chapter in Sam's POV, second in Freddie's. Going to be OOC, but in a good way. At least I hope so.

Chapter 9
Mistakes

"Okay. Here's the thing. I don't like Carly anymore. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, and I'm not sure if I ever really liked her, or if it was just because she was always so nice to me. You're so different from her Sam. I'm not saying that's a bad thing though. That's a really good thing. You're not the kind of girl who goes to the beach to lay on a blanket and get a tan. You're the kind of girl who actually wants to do things. You aren't afraid to get dirty, you're definitely not afraid to tell people what you really think. If it weren't for you, I would have been sitting on that blanket all day, trying to entertain myself with my PearPod. You're the funniest person I know, you're beautiful, and no one messes with me when you're around. Maybe that's because you're usually messing with me, but why would you just want to be nice when you could be all of that?"

I'm so stupid. I completely ruined everything. Freddie and I hadn't fought all day. He was right. If we hadn't been playing around all day, I would have been bored out of my mind. I was still sitting in the sand as I watched him walk away from me. His shoulders were slumped, and he was dragging his feet along the sand. No wonder all the boys liked Carly better. She wasn't abrasive. She didn't hurt people who cared about her. She didn't hurt her best friends. Maybe that's why I had said that. He told me I was his best friend. That's when this whole thing had started getting weird.

I looked down at the sunglasses in my hand, and realized just how much of an idiot I was. He had spent the day making sure I was happy. He had carried me all around, he had kept me company, he had spilled his heart out to me, all about how great he thought I was. I couldn't even say thank you. I just insulted him again. Everytime he tried to get closer to me I found a reason to push myself farther away. Because he was a guy, I automatically assumed that he would hurt me, or that he was lying. That's where I was wrong. He was the one guy who had never hurt me, besides Spencer, and I had been too blind and stupid to let myself trust him. He had told me that he didn't like Carly anymore. She was always the one I had compared myself to, because she was usually the one who my boyfriends wanted to be with. It wasn't her fault, and it wasn't fair, that's just how I've always seen it. She always gets the guy, and I always get hurt. Now I was the one doing the hurting.

Maybe it was something else, some other reason that I was afraid to accept Freddie's words. Today had been weird. I'd been thinking things about Freddie that I never would have thought I would. It wasn't just because I had realized today that he had a nice body, and amazing eyes. Sure, I was shallow, but I wasn't that shallow. I started to think about what he had said to me.

I don't like Carly anymore. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, and I'm not sure if I ever really liked her, or if it was just because she was always so nice to me. You're so different from her Sam. I'm not saying that's a bad thing though. That's a really good thing.
Was I supposed to believe that me being mean to him was something he liked? Did that mean he liked me?

You aren't afraid to get dirty, you're definitely not afraid to tell people what you really think.
I never looked at being opinionated or messy as being a good thing, but apparently he thought it was.

You're the funniest person I know, you're beautiful, and no one messes with me when you're around. Maybe that's because you're usually messing with me, but why would you just want to be nice when you could be all of that?
He had said I was beautiful. He was the first boy who had ever called me beautiful. Maybe he was just getting caught up in the moment, but maybe he really meant it. He really thought that being rude, mean and hurting him was better than being nice? Maybe I had hit the boy one too many times. Or maybe he could just see past everything, and he knew that I wasn't really a monster at all.

At that point, I had managed to confuse myself to the point of no return. All I knew was that Freddie didn't deserve what I had done. I had to find a way to make everything better. That's when it hit me. I stood up, put his sunglasses on, and scanned the beach, searching for him. Finally, I saw him at the edge of the water farther down the beach, and I started running.


I knew it was childish to walk away from her, but what else was I supposed to do? I was trying to be honest. I was trying to tell her how I felt about her, without actually telling her. I guess it was too much for her to deal with. Maybe I just wasn't the guy who she wanted to hear it from. Besides, how could I expect her to feel the things I'd been feeling when I had just started feeling them today?

It was stupid of me to say all that stuff anyways. At least she spared a little bit of my feelings and didn't laugh in my face. She was probably laughing now for all I knew, but there was nothing I could do to stop her. She was her own person, and she had never followed anyone's rules anyways.

I guess I really was a nub. I was stupid to think that maybe the great day that we'd had so far had meant something to her. It was stupid to think that someone like her would ever feel anything other than disgust or anger towards me. She was just so much better than me in every way, but she didn't know it. That's what I was most mad about. Everything I said about her I meant, and I could tell that she just didn't believe it. Maybe that was the solution. Maybe I just had to make her believe what I already knew to be true. I just needed to her listen. I sat down in the sand, trying to get my thoughts together, for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, when I heard someone say my name. I turned around and there she was, out of breath and panting, standing in front of me.

I really don't know how I feel about this chapter, it was hard for me to write, and I rewrote it about 5 times. I'm still not happy with it, but hopefully you won't hate it too much.