Of Masks and Mirrors- Chapter 9
Suzaku stared at him with a hard expression, his green eyes unrelenting with their gaze. Lelouch had the desire to quail under the intensity, but mercilessly smothered it with a thought. But, a question still lingered in his mind, taunting him. He narrowed his violet eyes and regarded the other standing in front of him with cautious eyes.
"What do you want?" he asked. Suzaku was long in giving an answer. With a resigned air, he fully shut off the machine he was on and dropped the key in a breast pocket. He got off and stood up and Lelouch suddenly noticed how they were the same height. He couldn't resist smirking and Suzaku frowned at his sudden amusement, not finding the situation funny at all.
"What?" Lelouch pointed to the brunette's head with triumphant glee, eyes filled with mirth.
"We're finally the same height," he exclaimed proudly. "You cannot lord over me on that aspect anymore." Suzaku looked unfazed and still was stoic. His lips twitched, but Lelouch didn't know if a smile or sneer was being held back. Personally, he didn't want to know.
"That's irrelevant," the brunette said with a dull tone. He shifted his gaze to behind Lelouch, where the others place of residence was. "Come," he stated, and walked past a shocked Britannian.
"What?" Lelouch sputtered at Suzaku's uncharacteristically bold behavior. "Hey, wait!" Suzaku stopped his movement and paused, not turning around. "What are you doing?" The brunette closed his eyes and slightly bowed his head.
"We're going to your house. Are you going to invite me in, or are you going to be rude?" he said. Lelouch was aghast and looked offended.
"I'm rude?" he asked, accusingly. "If you're going to point out who's rude, then the one who's rude would be you!" He crossed his arms in defiance, head held high in a self-righteous manner. He narrowed his eyes on Suzaku. "And you still haven't told me what's going on. So, why don't you enlighten me?" The brunette didn't answer just smiled sadly, his stony visage crumbling to pieces. He looked up to the plain, blue sky, as if seeking answers, before turning around to finally face the other.
"To tell you the truth," he admitted softly, barely audible. "I have not a clue. Maybe I'm just chasing nonexistent ghosts." Then, he continued on his way down the stone pathway, leaving a frozen Lelouch behind.
"Can you guess who I am,
a faceless voice inside your mind?
I taunt at you from in your dreams,
and you with red ribbon I bind.
Speak with the hidden eye,
with in his veins blood of blue.
In him, the true answers lie,
and rest in wait to rise for you.
Forever I wish, in an eternal throne,
to show you the colors of the sky and blue,
and for a visage of mine to own,
to smile upon the weak light of day.
A flightless bird, chained down by earth,
is one that is broken and gray.
Infinity is a present and a curse,
It cries for help, but no one's there."
The brunette finished with a verbal flourish. He looked up from the paper in his hands with a questioning look.
"Do you have any ideas?" he queried.
They were currently in Lelouch's room, Suzaku on the bed with Lelouch at the desk. Lelouch stared at Suzaku, shaken and his face a sickly pallor of white from his seat. His hands were wrapped around his waist and his body curled slightly, almost protectively from an invisible force. His body was wracked with tremors. The brunette couldn't help be concerned for the Britannian and stood up to reach over and lay a hand on the others shoulder.
"Are you alright?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing in worry. "Here, I'll get a glass of water." He turned away to go the the adjourning kitchen.
"No," Lelouch's hand darted out to latch firmly on Suzaku's wrist. Stunned, the brunette turned around to meet with a violet and, perhaps, scared gaze. "Stay," Lelouch said. He then swallowed nervously. "Please." Suzaku was silent, transfixed by the intent gaze, but moved to return to his seat as Lelouch released his hold on him in favor rummage inside his desks. "I need to show you something," he muttered. "Where did it go?" The other was silent as he watched the digging, disturbed at Lelouch's distressed state. The Britannian rose from his seat to set himself next to Suzaku on the bed. A paper was shoved into the brunette's hands and Suzaku blinked.
"Here," Lelouch encouraged with a strangled half-smile. "Read it." With an odd, but searching look, Suzaku complied and cleared his throat before starting.
"Faces upon faces, all circle around time,
when do you consume thyself,
condemn thyself,
kill thyself.
Lying, laying, loving, and hating,
are the steps to beyond contempt.
An undying thirst for something unreached,
is unquenchable and blinds the eye.
Dying control, greedy mind,
one gains little and loses much.
A little birdie can fly,
but only as much as its leash can allow.
Circles upon circles,
you search for someone not there,
a ghost."
Curious, Suzaku turned the paper over, but could not find anymore evidence of the words continuing. "Is that it?" He resisted the urge to shiver at the eeriness of the whole situation. "Do you know where these..." he hesitated, "poems come from?" Lelouch slowly shook his head.
"No," he said. "But, there is one thing that I must, no, need to show you." Suzaku tipped his head in questioning and blinked twice, waiting.
"What?" Lelouch motioned with his hand for Suzaku to turn around and the brunette did, after a moments worth of contemplation. He heard sounds of drawers being pulled and closed, and a slight shuffling of items. There was a hiss of air. He wondered what this "thing" was, and hoped it wasn't just an embarrassing teenage joke.
"You can turn around now," Lelouch said, but something about his voice was different. It was deeper, more powerful, and had an echoing quality to it. Suzaku couldn't put a finger on it, but he was sure he heard it somewhere before. He spun to face the Britannian with a sentence on his lips, but it died before it could be uttered.
"Lelouch..." he said in a hushed whisper, his mind trying to take in what he was seeing before him. He raised a shaking hand to the smooth, metallic surface of the mask. His eyes clawed over the dark plating and gold touches. His fingers tracing the sharp, tapered crests of the mask disbelievingly. The oval leaned forward into a cradling hand as the faint hiss of hydraulics sounded. Lelouch pulled his head out with his eyes closed.
"Lelouch," Suzaku repeated. "You are... Zero?" The other boy turned his head away, opening his eyes half-way, the brims about to overflow with salty liquid.
"Yes," he said. "I am. Are you disappointed?" Suzaku saw the others face tremble with suppressed emotion and all his hate and anger dissipated. His eyes softened as his vision misted with tears. He reached out with his hands and took Lelouch's face with them.
"Why?" he asked quietly. "Why did you become Zero? A murderer? Do you not stain your hands with the blood of innocents?" Lelouch tore away from Suzaku's gentle hold with a bitter smile, feeling a strong emotion rising in his chest
"You must be disgusted with me, seeing how I'm so weak." He looked down at his pale hands, seeing nothing but their white surface with thinly veiled self-loathing. "There was another, a girl, who killed Clovis. She almost killed me. I was so scared. And my hands," he started. "My hands remain as clean as the day I was created." Suzaku's eyes widened when he understood what the other was saying. He grabbed onto his shoulders firmly and stared sternly into those dull, blank eyes.
"I don't care you are, Lelouch or Zero, but one thing you cannot do is take another life, do you hear me? Those souls, the souls of innocents, will rest on top of yours forever, to never leave your side. Day after day, relentlessly..." Suzaku's eyes grew haunted as he continued. "Every death I caused by these hands of mine, I regret, from the time I wake up to the moment I sleep. And even then, they come in my dreams to remind me of my horrible actions." He choked up, unable to continue. Instead, he took Lelouch into his embrace. It caused an instantaneous, and Lelouch started to shake. Suzaku just rubbed him on his back, just like how someone used to for him. There was slight ache in his chest, but he pushed it aside. He needed to be strong, for Lelouch.
"S-Suzaku..."
"Shh," the boy hushed. "I know, there's no need to say it out loud. Just let it all out." With a choked sob, Lelouch started to silently cry. The other just patted him comfortingly and said whispered words in reassurance. "It's alright, Lelouch. Everything's going to be alright."
When Lelouch had settled down, Suzaku smiled gently at the head on his lap. A lock of dark hair was brushed to the side and he frowned. There were dark circles under Lelouch's puffy eyes. The Britannian had fallen asleep from physical and emotional exhaustion. There was a knock at the door and a head poked in.
"How is he?" Rolo asked in a quiet voice. "Is he better now?" The brunette just nodded without a word at the concerned boy. Rolo smiled widely, but then an abashed expression came over it.
"Sorry about barging in, Suzaku," he apologized. Suzaku waved a hand dismissively.
"That's alright," he said. Rolo shifted from the doorway, looking conflicted.
"Nii-san does regret what happened all those years ago. He doesn't think we notice, but Nunnally and I know burns letters in the fireplace late at night." He looked pointedly at Suzaku. "They're all addressed to you. We saw." The brunette averted his eyes, looking at the spot above Rolo's shoulder.
"I know," he stated. Rolo smiled sadly, shaking his head.
"You just can't seem to forgive him, can you?" This time, it was Suzaku who shook his head.
"No," he said. "I have forgiven him. I forgave him a long time ago, but," he put a hand gently on Lelouch's head. "One cannot forget such words and actions," he murmured. Rolo bowed in acquittance, not going to attempt to say otherwise. It was all true.
"Very well," he said. "Just so you know, you're welcome to stay. It's getting late. Good night." The door clicked shut and Suzaku looked outside. It was exactly as Rolo said. He didn't even notice the sun's departure. With a sigh, he searched his pockets for his cell phone to call Lloyd and Ceclie. He needed to tell them he wouldn't be going back to base tonight. After the call, he gently stroked Lelouch's cheek.
"Don't worry, Lelouch," he murmured. "I'll protect you. I'll be Zero's White Knight." He smiled slightly. "It's the least I can do to repent for my sins."
He never noticed two pairs of eyes staring at the two of them from a tree next to the window, one violet, and the other amber. With barely a disturbance to the leaves, the two watchers finally left the two alone in peace. Though, it wouldn't be inaccurate to say the violet pair lingered for a while longer, looking longingly into the scene in the room.
Then, they completely were gone without a trace.
Well, lots of poem work in this chapter. It put more depth into the characters, I hope at least. Was this too abrupt? I have a habit of doing that and am trying to fix it. And was Lelouch's character too soft? I wanted him to be kinder than other-past-Lelouch...
Onyx Fire7- Lol. And reviews make my day. ^_^ Yep! Suzaku has a habit of doing that. I wonder how he's going to do it this time. Hope this makes your day happier. Thanks for telling about the typos. I'll go back a fix them, eventually... Thanks for reading and reviewing! ^_^
I have a case of the hiccups, but they might be gone now. I held my breath, but I think I looked like a chipmunk. Luckily, no one was around to see it at that time.
I would like to formally thank every who has read, reviewed, favorite-ed, and alerted this story. So... thank you!
Review?
Love,
Shini
