*EDIT* Thanks to batesfan2 who pointed out my mistake. All is rectified now, been watching Series 1 recently...

A/N- The calm before the storm...

Thanks for reviewing to those who have. It seems my heart lies with Modern AU, as I have already planned three chapters of a new modern fiction. Ooops. Determined to finish this one before I start the next.

Disclaimer- Downton Abbey belongs to Julian Fellowes/ITV/Carnival


The sun was rising, the fact cemented by the room being bathed in a misty sunlight, streaming in through a small gap in the curtains. John had been awake for an hour or so. This was nothing unusual, insomnia had plagued his life ever since he had come back from fighting the Boers. However, there was now a difference. Before, his insomnia would render him lonely, like he was the only person in the world. But not anymore. Looking beside him, he saw Anna, his arm around her shoulders, she holding tightly to his hand. John had spent the past hour or so watching her intermittently, this was the first time she had opened her eyes. John smiled as she rolled her eyes to meet his. She moved further into his touch, nuzzling into his neck and placing a soft kiss on the skin she found there.

'You're going to have to get up soon,' John whispered gruffly. 'If you are going to catch your train.'

She responded with a moan, resulting in a chuckle from John as she draped her arm across his waist. 'Five more minutes.'

Mrs Patmore's funeral was to be held in a few days time. Anna and John had decided to leave a day apart, so as not to arise suspicion, John arriving the day before the funeral. Anna would go down first, and Mrs Hughes agreed to Anna's request for her to stay at Downton. They had both decided to stay down in Yorkshire for a couple of nights, Anna one night longer so their cover wouldn't be blown. John had already booked a couple of nights at The Grantham Arms, although Mrs Hughes had insisted he would be welcome to share dinner with the other servants if he so wished.

'How are you feeling today?' John asked, pressing a kiss upon Anna's temple.

'Still not right,' Anna replied, clutching her stomach. 'It's really odd. It's come on so suddenly. I haven't been sick since yesterday. That's one thing I suppose.'

Anna had not been feeling herself since she had received the news about Mrs Patmore, and had put her illness down to the shock of losing one of her dearest friends.

'Let's just get the funeral out of the way, you'll probably feel better once that's over with.'

'Perhaps, although I can't help but thinking being away from you for a few days is a reason behind it as well. We haven't been apart for the best part of six months.'

'It's going to be strange, certainly,' John agreed, pulling her closer to him. 'But last night will give us something to hold onto until we are together again.'

'I don't want to leave you,' Anna draped a leg over John's. 'I'm going to miss you so much.'

'It's not like we are going to be completely apart, my darling. You never know, I may even take Mrs Hughes up on her invitation of dinner with the others.'

'Part of me just wishes that...' She stopped talking, choosing to end her sentence with a sigh instead. John looked down on her, his expression concerned as he willed her to finish what she was trying to say. Never once had he got an inkling Anna regretted what had happened. Until now.

'What is it?' John squeezed the hand that was resting on Anna's shoulder, trying to encourage her to speak.

It's just...'

She stopped again. 'Anna, please tell me.'

Sitting up in bed, resting her elbows on her knees, Anna looked back at John over her shoulder. He was leaning on his arm, looking up at her with a furrowed brow. She smiled, alleviating his fears slightly. It seemed like an age had passed until she continued speaking.

'I know this is the way things must be but I love you so much. And sometimes, it just breaks my heart that we have to hide like this.'

'You're happy though, aren't you Anna? With me. Here.'

'Oh yes,' Anna nodded, the smile returning to her face. 'And we'll go back to Downton, then come back up here and carry on as we have done. It's just now I've had you completely, being without you for even one day already feels like torture. It will be like we are apart all over again, remembering that officially you belong to someone else and I don't want to feel like that. It was bad enough the first time.'

John sat up then, not breathing a word as he met Anna's lips with his own, gently pushing her back down onto her side of the bed. She responded eagerly, running her fingers through his hair, groaning into his mouth as his hand ghosted down the side of her body. Pulling away, John rested his head beside Anna's on her pillow.

'You know that I'm yours. unequivocally.' he whispered, Anna closing her eyes at the simply divine sensation of his breath hitting the shell of her ear. 'I am married, we can't change that. But please understand, although I am another woman's husband, my heart is yours. And only yours.'


Mrs Hughes stood outside the bathroom in the servants quarters, grimacing as she heard Anna being ill for the second time since she had arrived back at Downton. Stepping back as she heard Anna approach, the former housemaid opened the door.

'Anna dear, you look terrible,' Mrs Hughes said in her Scottish burr. 'Maybe I should call Doctor Clarkson?'

'No, I'll just go and have a lie down. I'm sure it was just the train journey.' Anna dismissed Mrs Hughes, closing the bathroom door behind her.

'Very well, shall I come back and call you when dinner is ready?'

'Please,' Anna replied with a smile. 'I am so grateful for you putting me up like this. Thank you.'

'It's a pleasure, Anna. It's lovely to have you home for a couple of days. But...' Mrs Hughes reached for Anna's left hand, lifting it from her side and indicating towards Anna's ring. 'You may want to lose this, if your situation is to remain private.'


Not able to eat anything at dinner time, her nausea and weakness overcoming her, Anna was sent back to bed by Mrs Hughes, with the promise Dr Clarkson would be around to check on her condition within the hour. She couldn't explain it, Anna would just have these unexplained bouts of sickness, then feel much better for a few hours until it would strike her once again. A knock on the door caused Anna to start a little.

'Come in,' she called, sitting up as Doctor Clarkson appeared, followed by Mrs Hughes.

'Hello Anna,' the doctor said with a smile. 'How have you been? How are your family?'

'Oh, erm,' Anna looked beyond the doctor at Mrs Hughes. This was the first time she had had to lie about her current situation, not making it much more than a couple of minutes into dinner with the others before she was forced to return to bed. 'They're fine, thank you Doctor.'

'Would you like me to stay, Anna?' Mrs Hughes asked.

'No, I'll be fine Mrs Hughes. I insist.'

The housekeeper left with a nod of the head, leaving the doctor and Anna alone. He preceded into the room, reaching for the chair in the corner of the room and carrying it so he could sit beside Anna.

'So, what appears to be the problem, Anna?'

'I feel a bit silly, really,' Anna began. 'I just have these periods where I am so sick I don't know what to do with myself. I also become so tired I have to lay down until it passes. It's the strangest thing, it's been happening since I got the news about Mrs Patmore, so I was wondering if that had something to do with it?'

'Grief does affect people in different ways,' Dr Clarkson agreed. 'Would you mind if I examined you? Just to see if there isn't anything more to it?'

'No, that's fine,' Anna said tentatively, lying down.

She couldn't be ill, could she? Not now. Not now she and John were together, with all their life ahead of them. She continued to ponder as the Doctor moved his hands around her stomach, pressing down slightly here and there. Chancing a look at the doctor's face, her heart was thundering as his expression was troubled. What had he found? What was he thinking? Anna wasn't sure she could bear it, what if she really was poorly? Finally, he spoke.

'Excuse me for being blunt, Anna. But when was your last cycle?'

Her cycle? Why would the man be asking her that? Searching for an answer to his question, suddenly everything fell into place.

'Over six weeks, but they have never run like clockwork.' Anna confessed, searching for Doctor Clarkson's gaze. She already knew the answer to her question. 'Why do you ask?'

The doctor sat down again, leaning forward before continuing. 'Anna, have you had relations with any man in the past few weeks?'

God yes. But how could Anna explain that to the man beside her without him changing his opinion of her? As far as he was concerned, she had just gone home to her family. Dr Clarkson had no idea about her actual whereabouts. She couldn't lie to him, but she couldn't tell him the truth either.

'Yes,' she whispered, almost too quietly to hear. 'I have.'

He nodded before making eye contact with Anna. 'You know what I'm going to say next.'

'I do.'

'I won't insult you by asking if you are in contact with the father. When you get home, get in touch with your family doctor. They will run some tests to confirm the pregnancy and advise you with what to do next.'

He rose to his feet then, leaving Anna completely flabbergasted by the news. However, she couldn't even consider beginning to come to terms with it without ensuring her reputation was kept in tact.

'Doctor Clarkson,' she called after him, the man turning to look at her as he reached the door. 'The father. I just want you to know that we are deeply in love with each other. This hasn't just happened after an ill advised moment together.'

'Oh Anna, I am certainly not one to judge,' he replied, grinning much to Anna's relief. 'The times are changing, war makes us do things we wouldn't usually consider doing. Just be careful.'

'Thank you. And I trust I can ask you not to tell anyone?'

'Confidentiality is part of my job description. Take care, Anna.'

With those words he left Anna alone with her thoughts. Pregnant. True, she and John had never done anything to prevent it, but to be told you are carrying a child is still a shock to the system. Anna had always wanted to be a mother, she knew that this felt right. Asking herself how she felt about it, she would be lying if she said she wasn't happy. Her overriding feeling was that she wanted to tell John, for him to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be alright. He wouldn't be arriving in Downton until the next day. How she longed to feel his touch, to be enveloped in his arms. She was right in her prediction, this was torture. However with the news she had just received, it only added to the pain.


'I received a telegram from Mr Bates saying he would be joining us,' Mr Carson announced as he came into the servants hall. 'He shall arrive any moment. So can we lay a place for him, please?'

'I'll do it,' Daisy announced, placing a dish of potatoes in the middle of the table.

'It's not your duty anymore, Daisy.' Mrs Hughes said gently.

'I want to do it. It reminds me of the old times. When Mrs Patmore were here.'

'I don't see why we should accommodate him,' Miss O Brien scowled, her eyes directed solely at Anna. 'He left us all in the lurch when he disappeared like that.'

'He wishes to pay his respects to Mrs Patmore,' Daisy argued, laying a place for John at the table, annoyingly for Anna a few spaces along from her and on the opposite side of the table.

'I'd wager it's going to be a bit awkward for you though, Anna.' Ethel remarked, looking at Anna over her magazine.

'We're both adults,' Anna breathed. 'I'm sure it will be fine.'

'He's got a lot of apologising to do if you ask me...'

'Well no one did ask you, Sergeant Barrow,' Mr Carson interrupted Thomas, before turning his attentions to Ethel. 'And how many times do I have to tell you about reading at the table at dinner, Ethel?'

'Hello.'

All eyes turned to the servants hall entrance to see John standing there, removing his hat and coat and hanging them up before entering the hall.

'Good evening, Mr Bates,' Mr Carson stood and shook the former valet's hand. 'I hope your journey was pleasant enough.'

'It was fine. Thank you.'

John immediately sought out Anna, finding her and discovering the temptation to smile too great as a flicker of a grin played upon his lips. She looked down, fearing what she might do if she maintained eye contact.

'There's a place for you,' Mrs Hughes continued. 'On the end I'm afraid. Mr Lang now occupies your old place.'

'Of course. I wouldn't expect to sit there anyway.'

John moved to the end of the table, sitting down before looking in Anna's direction. Her head was bowed, her face unreadable as dinner was served in silence.

'So, how is life with you, Mr Bates?' Thomas asked as they all began to eat. 'What have you been up to?'

'Oh, this and that,' John answered as he stabbed a carrot on his plate with his fork. 'I see you've been busy though, Thomas.'

'Sergeant Barrow, thank you very much,' O 'Brien corrected John in a stern voice. 'He works for Doctor Clarkson.'

'Oh, right,' John said dismissively, willing Anna to look up at him although she kept her gaze firmly on her dinner. 'What's it like? With all the soldiers convalescing here?'

'Oh, it's wonderful,' Ethel cooed. 'They're all so friendly.'

'With you maybe,' O Brien replied. 'We all know why they're friendly with you.'

'How have the house coped?' Anna said suddenly, lifting her head to look in the direction of Mr Carson. 'With Mrs Patmore's passing and all that?'

'They don't really notice,' Miss O Brien took it upon herself to answer the question. 'It was us who spent out time with her, not them. She just cooked their meals.'

'That's a little unfair,' Mrs Hughes argued. 'The family did provide a room so she could spend her last days in comfort.'

'Are you not hungry, Anna?'

Silence fell as they all heard John ask after Anna's welfare, only Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes knowing the truth, as well as O' Brien and Thomas. All the other servants knew was that John had left Anna, breaking her heart after having proposed to her. Anna lifted her head to look in John's direction.

'Not really, Mr Bates.' Anna replied, pushing a potato to the other side of her plate with her fork. He look concerned, and it broke Anna's heart. She offered him some reassurance, her lips upturned into a smile as she added. 'but it's nothing I can't handle.'


Once dinner had been eaten, the servants went about their tasks before they could retire for the evening. After saying his goodbye's to the housekeeper and the butler and making sure they had disappeared into Mr Carson's sitting room, John turned to Anna who was still sitting at the table, chatting to Daisy about how she was coping with the loss of Mrs Patmore. Anna was aware of him looking at her and for the first time that evening, looked beyond Daisy and flashed him a wide smile. John held up his hand, his fingers wide, Anna realising he was trying to tell her something. He was mouthing the words, 'meet me in five minutes,' and pointing in the direction of the back door. Anna nodded faintly, still listening to Daisy as she spoke about how hard it had been to cope without the cook. John left then, moving down the corridor and out into the courtyard.

'She was a wonderful woman,' Anna said, placing a hand on Daisy's upper arm. 'So kind.'

'She was,' Daisy agreed. 'I am going to miss her so much.'

She felt sorry for Daisy, Mrs Patmore was like a mother to her. However, the thought that superseded all others was the fact that Anna now had the opportunity to be with John alone, for the first time in over twenty four hours. And that meant she could share the news that she had longed to tell him ever since she had seen Doctor Clarkson. She was nervous, and unsure as to how he would react. But she trusted him, and knew he would be as happy about it as she was.

'I best be getting to bed,' Daisy murmured with a yawn, looking at the clock. She stood up and walked to the hall entrance. 'It's lovely having you here Anna. I wish you hadn't left.'

Anna responded with a grin and a nod of her head, before Daisy disappeared up the stairs. In the next moment Anna was in the hallway and hurtling towards the back door as fast as her legs would carry her. Opening the door, she searched the darkness for John. Suddenly, she made out his outline a few feet to her left. He had turned after the noise of the door opening startled him a little. No words were spoken as Anna made her way towards John. As soon as she reached him she threw her arms around his shoulders, emotions overtaking her as she began to sob openly on his shoulder. Through relief, more than anything.

'My darling, why are you crying?' John whispered, pulling Anna tight to him.

'I've just missed you so much,' Anna replied in-between sobs, clutching the material of his coat in her fists. 'Can we take a walk? There is something I would like to tell you. That I need to tell you.'

'What?' John pulled away so he could look into Anna's face. 'Is this about your illness? What's going on?'

She took hold of his hand. 'Walk with me.'


'Pregnant?'

He couldn't believe it. Anna had lead him to the grounds outside the house, far enough from prying eyes but close enough so they weren't in complete darkness.

'Yes.' Anna reiterated. 'I am pregnant.'

'But how?'

'Oh John,' Anna sighed. 'Do I have to draw you a picture?'

John rolled his eyes, tilting his head to the side a little before rephrasing his question. 'I mean, how do you know?'

'I was poorly when I arrived and Mrs Hughes insisted I see Doctor Clarkson.' Anna revealed. 'He examined me.'

'Wait a minute,' John stopped them walking and turned to face Anna. 'So he knows...'

'He knows nothing, John,' Anna interrupted. 'I did make a point of telling him this wasn't just a one off, that I was in love with the father. He doesn't know that it's you.'

'Right. That's good.'

They continued to walk in silence as John processed the news. Anna linked her arm through John's, chancing a look up at his face as he remained quiet. He was so difficult to read at times. A deeper thinker Anna had never known. The relief she felt was overwhelming as his features brightened, stopping them and turning to face Anna.

'I'm going to be a father.'

'You are.'

'And you're happy about it? All things considered.'

'John, I'm ecstatic.' Anna exclaimed, her enthusiasm causing John to let out a little chuckle. 'I have always wanted to be a mother, and the fact that a wonderful man, the man I love with my heart and soul is the father just makes it even more special. Are you pleased about it?'

'I just can't believe it,' John lead Anna to the bench they had stopped beside, encouraging her to sit down. He took hold of her hand, raising it to his lips and placing a small kiss across her knuckles. 'But I am thrilled.'

'I wish you could hold me tonight, that I could come back with you.'

'Darling, you know I want that too. But surely now, with this new development, it's even more important our secret remains just that? A secret.'

'I know, you're right.'

Placing his arm around Anna's shoulder, he pulled her closer to him, kissing her temple. John felt her shiver beneath his touch, standing up immediately. Taking off his coat, he helped Anna to her feet and placed his recently removed jacket around her shoulders.

'Come on, let's get you back. It's freezing out here.'


Walking back down the corridor towards the servants hall, Anna looked back over her shoulder at the door. She had just said goodbye to John, reluctantly handing him back his coat. She could still smell his scent all around her, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply for a moment it was like he was still standing beside her.

'Anna, are you alright?'

Opening her eyes, Anna saw Mrs Hughes standing at the top of the corridor, keys in hand. 'Thomas said he saw you walking outside and I've been waiting for you so I can lock up.'

'Oh, sorry.' Anna hurried down the remainder of the corridor as Mrs Hughes passed her, keys jangling in hand. Locking the door, Mrs Hughes turned back to see Anna deep in thought once more.

' I have just brewed some tea in my sitting room before I go up to bed. Would you like to join me?'

'That would be lovely.'

'It's wonderful Anna, if not the most perfect of circumstances.'

Deciding she needed to confide in someone about her news, Anna had revealed everything to Mrs Hughes. The housekeeper was happy for them both, if not totally enthusiastic about their situation. She knew that the two of them were committed to each other, and who was she to judge, really? Just because she was old fashioned in her views, didn't mean that it was her place to say what was happening between Anna and John was wrong. Their love for each other had always been plain to see.

'I wish things could be different, Mrs Hughes.' Anna took a sip of her tea as she considered what to say next. 'We are happy. And he treats me so well. I have been more of a wife to him than Vera ever was, he told me as much before I left to come down here. He told me that his heart belonged to me. And at the end of the day, that is all that matters really.'

'Indeed,' Mrs Hughes smiled warmly before glancing at the clock. 'I best be going up, it's going to be a difficult day tomorrow.'

'It certainly is,' Anna agreed, rising to her feet, Mrs Hughes followed her to the door. She opened the door then turned to face her former employer. 'I know I needn't ask this, but I can trust you to keep this to yourself? About my expecting a baby. John just wants this trip to pass without incident and if this got out, who knows what might happen.'

'Of course, my dear.'

Continuing out of the room, Anna nearly jumped out of her skin as she saw Thomas standing across from her and Mrs Hughes, dressed ready for bed, arms folded with a smirk on his face.

'Sergeant Barrow, what can I do for you at this late hour?' Mrs Hughes asked.

'Just making sure that the new linen for the soldiers beds had arrived.' Thomas replied, the smirk still etched across his face. 'I forgot the delivery was due this afternoon.'

'Yes, it arrived safely, Sergeant Barrow. Anything else?'

'No.'

Anna looked at him suspiciously before a feeling of dread spread throughout her entire body. Had Thomas just heard what she had said to Mrs Hughes?

'Good, I'm going up now,' Mrs Hughes carried on towards the stairs. 'Goodnight Anna.'

'Night,' Anna replied weakly, her gaze still on Thomas as he made to move towards the servant hall. 'Thomas.'

'Yes?'

Anna didn't know how to respond without revealing all about her and John. Thomas shifted impatiently on the soles of his feet, sighing deeply.

'Nothing, goodnight.'

'Goodnight Anna.' The sergeant watched as she walked up the stairs, and out of sight.

He had heard every single word.


'She's pregnant?'

'Yep. And it's his.'

'Blimey.' O Brien took a long drag on her cigarette before exhaling, the smoke drifting into the air on the early morning breeze. 'Didn't think the old man had it in him.'

Thomas chuckled at her statement. 'It's always the quiet ones.'

'Mrs Bates, the real one, isn't going to react kindly to this news.'

'You're going to tell her?'

'Of course I am,' O Brien replied without missing a beat. 'She deserves to know. I am meeting her in the village this morning to tell her what I know. I wrote to her letting her know Mr Bates was coming to the funeral. She intends to have it out with him.'

Thomas shook his head, smiling as he threw the remains of his smoked cigarette to the floor. 'You really have it in for that bloke, don't you?'

'I just don't think it's right. Running off to god knows where with another woman, making her his mistress. Living in sin. His wife deserves to know the truth. And I intend to tell her.'

A/N 2- Next chapter- the proverbial might be hitting the fan.