The website has been a little odd of late. It takes some of my private messages and scrambles them terribly! For instance, if I wanted to say "She asked me what Sparks were and was surprised by the answer", it would come out as "She asked were surprised by the answer". Very odd, and rather irritating. According to EmoPirateLuv and UTHEMAN, it would seem that it has something to do with using periods. As in, if you use them, words disappear. O_O The site does not like grammar?
The stories in this chapter are based on the ones my father would tell me when I was young. As such, the narration is a little different, because I want them to actually sound the way they did when they were told to me.
Good morning, Little One. You slept right through last night's storm, you know! Yes, you've been here the whole time. Now that you're awake, you ought to call your family, I think. They're probably worried about you, which reminds me: How in the worlds did you make it all the way up here in the dead of night with a storm approaching? You don't know? You were just scared? Well, I suppose that's reason enough. Here, down you go! You sit there on the windowsill, and I'll see if I can't find you something to eat. Why of course I have human food! I like to be prepared for guests, I'll have you know!
That? That's a picture of my youngest son, when he was little. Well thank you! What's he holding? That was his favorite toy for a long time. It's Brother Moon, the Maximal. Never heard of- Well bless my Spark! Those were some of my sparklings' favorite stories. Remember? Well of course I remember them, Little One! I am not that old! Ah, I see, clever child. You wish me to tell you one, but you don't wish to seem like you are asking. Very well, eat your breakfast and I shall tell you some of the Brother Moon (or as he's more commonly known, "Bro'er Moon") stories.
Brother Moon fools Brother Waspinator
Now, Brother Moon was a Maximal, and what's more, he was a rabbit. He was as quick and as clever as any rabbit born on an organic world, and twice as sneaky! If he had one weakness, it was energon cubes. He would do anything to get them, even if it steal! Now, Bro'er Moon went walking one day, and he found a little settlement that processed energon. The mech who harvested the crystals was at work in the mines, but his sparkmate and sparkling were home to watch the crop. The sparkling, whose name was Little Bright, was told to stay outside and not let any strangers in through the gate.
Well, along comes Bro'er Moon, and "Oh!" he says, "What I wouldn't give for some of that energon!" And he leans over the fence and he calls, "Little Bright, Little Bright, won't you let me in?" But Little Bright was a smart little femme, and she said, "No sir! You're a stranger! I know you just want the energon cubes." Well, Bro'er Moon didn't count on this, no sir, he didn't! But Bro'er Moon was nothing if not clever, so he leans even further over the fence and says, "You're real smart, Little Bright. I bet your Carrier told you not to let any strangers in, didn't she?" And Little Bright says, "Yeah, that's right." So Bro'er Moon says, "Well I bet she must've forgotten to tell you about family!"
Now, Little Bright knows her sire is on his way home from the mines about now, so she decides to stall. "What do you mean," she asks, "What family?" Well that sneaky Maximal answers, "Why, me of course! Didn't you know, Little Bright? I'm your uncle Moon!" And of course, he was no such thing, and of course Little Bright knew it. But Little Bright could see the tip-top of her sire's helm coming over the top of the hill, so she skips over to the gate and she unlatches it. "Well, come on in, Uncle Moon!" she says, and real quick, dodges out of the way.
Bro'er Moon runs in and looks at all those energon cubes, and he just can't decide which one to grab first. Well that's when somebody grabs him! "Bro'er Moon," says Little Bright's sire, "You're in a heap of trouble! What're you doing, tricking little sparklings like that?" And he popped Bro'er Moon into a sack and hung the sack from the fence post. "You wait in there 'til after I have dinner with my family," the miner scolded, "And when I come back, I'm going to throw you in the river!" Bro'er Moon doesn't like the sound of that, not one bit! But he can't get out of the sack, it's tied tight! Well by and by, who should come flying along but Bro'er Wasp.
"Hello, Bro'er Moon," he laughs, "Got yourself in trouble again, didn't you?" "Why no, Wasp, no!" the Maximal laughs right back, "I'm just waiting for the Thirteen!" Bro'er Wasp isn't sure what to make of this, and he says so. "Oh, didn't you know?" that sneaky Bro'er Moon says, "If you wait in a sack on a post like this, the Thirteen come and take you to Iacon to be a Prime!" Being a Prime sounded like a mighty fine idea to Bro'er Wasp, so he says, "Oh please, Bro'er Moon, take me with you!" And Bro'er Moon said, "Oh, I'm sorry, but there's only room for one in here!" Bro'er Wasp was very upset, and he says, "I'll give you three cubes of energon if you'll let me take your place!"
Bro'er Moon pretends to be reluctant, and takes his time before agreeing. So Bro'er Wasp lets Bro'er Moon out of the sack, and takes his place. Bro'er Moon ties the top of the bag good and tight, then scampers off with the energon, very pleased with himself. Then the miner comes back and he grabs that sack. "This is it!" says Wasp, "I'm going to Iacon!" "Well, you're going somewhere, all right!" says Little Bright's sire, and he throws that sack in the river. As you can guess, Bro'er Wasp was good and mad at Bro'er Moon, and decided to get even with him. But that's another story.
You thought my Bro'er Wasp voice was funny, did you? Well, it's nice to see you laughing, Little One. Yes, Bro'er Moon wasn't being very kind to poor old Wasp, was he? Well, you see, Bro'er Moon is a Trickster character, like Amalgamous Prime. Sometimes he's good, and sometimes he's bad, and you never know which one it's going to be! But you can't really blame him in the end, because he's so amusing. Would you like to hear what happened next? Bro'er Wasp didn't just sit around and sulk, you know! Very well, listen closely...
Bro'er Moon and the Web-sparkling
Now, after that business with the sack and the river, Bro'er Wasp was out to get Bro'er Moon. He goes to see his friend, Sis Spider. Well Sis Spider isn't too fond of Bro'er Moon either, seeing as he broke her spark once. So she decides to help Bro'er Wasp get back at him. They went into the woods and waited for Bro'er Moon. After a while, here he comes, hopping down the path. Sis Spider made a Web-sparkling and set it down where Bro'er Moon was sure to see it. Sure enough, he sees the web-sparkling and he says, "Hello there, little fella!" Only, Web-sparkling doesn't answer.
"What I said was, Hello there, little fella!" Bro'er Moon repeated. Web-sparkling didn't answer, and Bro'er Moon thought that was pretty rude. Then he thinks, maybe he can't hear me! So up he goes and taps the web-sparkling on the shoulder. Well his hand gets stuck! "Hey now, Web-sparkling! You let go of my hand!" says Bro'er Moon. And he puts his other hand down to try and pry off the first one. Well, then that one gets stuck! "Hey now," he says, getting angry, "You let me go!" But Web-sparkling doesn't do anything, he's just made of webs!
Then he hears laughing. Down from the tree comes Bro'er Wasp and Sis Spider, and they're just laughing and laughing at him. "Who's stuck now, Bro'er Moon?" asks Wasp. He leans over and he says, "You know what, Bro'er Moon? I'm going to throw you in the river, just like what happened to me!" "Only this time," says Sis Spider, "You're going to be all stuck to Web-sparkling and you won't be able to move!" Well that just sounds like a terrible idea to Bro'er Moon, and he starts thinking of a way to get out of this. Then he says, "Oh, the river! Thank the Allspark, I thought you were going to throw me in the mines!" Sis Spider looks at Bro'er Wasp. Bro'er Wasp looks at Sis Spider. "What's all this about the mines?" they say.
Well, now Bro'er Moon knows he's got them interested, so he starts howling and crying, "Oh please, please don't throw me down the mineshaft! Throw me in the river or feed me to Bro'er Rampage but please oh please don't throw me down the mineshaft!" I see that giggle, Little One. You know what's coming, don't you? Well you'd better breath soon, or you won't hear the end of the story! Bro'er Wasp and Sis Spider pull Bro'er Moon off that Web-sparkling and they drag him down to the mines, and the whole way he's shouting, "Don't throw me in the mines, Sis Spider! Don't do it, Bro'er Wasp!"
"Stop your crying, Bro'er Moon," Sis Spider says, "We're going to throw you down the mineshaft and there's nothing you can do about it!" So they give a "heave ho!" and down he goes! And they wait for a minute, listening to see when he'll hit bottom. That's when Bro'er Moon starts to laugh, and laugh and laugh and laugh. "Why don't you know?" he asks, "I'm a rabbit! Born and bred in the mines!" And away he hops, laughing and laughing at Bro'er Wasp and Sis Spider.
More stories? Goodness! We have to get you back to your family, my child! There are, of course, many more stories about Bro'er Moon and his friends, but I'm not sure I'd be able to tell them all in one day. Come, you can sit on my shoulder and we will walk down to your home. On the way, perhaps you'd care to tell me what it was that frightened you so last night? It can't have been just the storm. Nightmares? Well maybe I shouldn't tell you any more ghost stories! No? Oh, you can handle them, can you? Well we'll see. Hold on tightly, I do not want you to fall off! Let us be on our way.
If you have any particular stories in mind that you'd like the Elder to retell, let me know! I, for one, had a marvelous time adapting the Brer Rabbit stories to a Cybertronian sound. I used to know "Brer Rabbit and the Briar Patch" by heart, including the ways it would change a little every time my father told it. But then, that's the nature of oral folktales, I suppose.
