"Can I Do This?"
(Another short fill-in chapter.)
Dean woke up the next morning, squinting at the light that was coming in through the opened window. He looked over at him and noticed Seth was still laying next to him, back facing him. Turning over, he softly kissed Seth's shoulder and sighed against his skin. He closed his eyes as memories of last night filled his mind, his body reacting. "Fuck." He whispered. He never felt this way and it scared the living hell out of him. Getting up from the ground, he grabbed their still wet clothes and went to the laundry room, throwing it in the washer for a cycle. After he was done, he headed to the bathroom, warming the water as he took a leak then found an unused toothbrush in the cabinet and brushing his teeth. Slipping into the shower, he stood underneath the water, letting it wash away the sticky substance that was plastered on his body as memories of last night assaulted his memories again. God... the way Seth moaned his name stirred something inside him, made him crazy with desire.
Seth woke up and automatically panicked, not feeling Dean's presence next to him. Turning over and touching the ground he'd been laying on, he sighed, hearing the water running in the bathroom. Getting up, he tied his hair back before heading to the bathroom and slowly opening the door. He watched Dean through the glass doors of his shower for a moment before brushing his teeth and walking over, opening the shower door.
Dean looked back at Seth, his eyes roaming over his beautiful body. "Morning." He mumbled.
"Good morning." Seth said. "Mind if I join you?"
"It's your shower..." Dean said before leaning against the wall, almost begging for Seth to touch him.
Groaning inwardly Seth moved to Dean, pinning him against the wall and began to kiss his neck, his hands roaming all over his muscular body. Dean moaned as he lightly scratching Seth;s back before grabbing his ass and pushing his body closing, rubbing his hardening length against Seth's and groaning at the pleasure that coursed through his body.
Placing his mouth against Seth's ear, he whispered how good he made him feel, his hands reaching around to grab Seth's length as he began to stroke him. Seth did the same, moving his hand up and down Dean's thick manhood as they both moaned against each other's skin. They continued to pleasure each other until Seth exploded in Dean's hand, Dean not too far behind with his own climax. Breathing heavily, Dean dropped his hands off of Seth's body, running his fingers through his hair. As soon as he caught his breath, he moved around Seth and quickly left the bathroom, taking a towel with him.
Seth closed his eyes, putting his head against the shower wall and sighed. He felt the coldness Dean presented before leaving the bathroom. He knew where this was heading and he tried to keep his emotions in check. Turning off the shower, he grabbed a towel, drying himself before wrapping it around his waist and walking to the front part of the house.
Dean stood in the patio needing to have a cigarette in his hand. He thought that it was going to be easier in the morning, but it wasn't. He still didn't know how far he wanted this to go... if he even had the guts to let it turn into something. All he kept thinking about was what would their friends say. He was more worried about everyone else than he was about himself.
"Dean."
He closed his eyes as Seth walked up behind him. "Yes?"
Seth sighed. "Look, if you don't want to do this, fine. I'm so freaking tired of putting myself out there just to get hurt again."
Dean turned around and stared at him. "Seth, you don't understand, okay? It's not something I can explain, it's just..." He shook his head, running a hand down his face. "It's hard."
"Don't you think it's hard for me, too?"
"That's just it, Seth! We're not talking about you. You always want to turn this around and make it about you. Can you just try to understand my view for a minute?" He leaned back against the patio barrier, sighing. "You knew before all this started that this is what you wanted. You came in this ready for something to happen. I came into this blindsided. I had no idea you even felt that way about me and I feel like you're just expecting me to accept it without any thought. That's not me and considering you've known me for a while now, I thought you would've known that it's not me."
"The last thing I wanted to do was push you into something you weren't ready for..."
"But you did." Dean cut him off. "You did, Seth, and now I'm confused and scared and..." He groaned, turning back away from him. "I don't want to keep hurting you."
Seth walked up to him, leaning over to place a kiss on his back. "I just want you so bad, Dean. I've never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with you."
Dean tensed up, hoping Seth wouldn't say those three words to him again. "If you just give me some time, I promise..." He thought about his choice of words. "Just give me time. That's all I'm asking."
"Don't leave again. Do whatever you need to do, just don't go away."
Turning around, Dean pulled Seth to him and hugged him tightly, closing his eyes as he inhaled Seth's scent. "Let's just try to get through today without the heavy emotional stuff, okay?"
Seth nodded. "I'd like that."
They went back inside and began to cook breakfast and ate as their clothes dried. Dean wanted so bad to let his guard down and be with Seth the way Seth wanted to be with him, but it was hard. After breakfast, they sat on the couch and talked about Dean's time in Vegas, without all the glory detials about the stripper and hookers Dean was with. They stole kisses, touched each other, and acting like horny teenagers throughout most of the day. Dean felt comfortable with Seth and by the middle of the day, he'd decided to give this thing a try... to give them a chance.
