Greetings, Humans! I bring to you chapter nine of There Goes Hoping.

I want to thank all the reviewers thus far-I did go into a shpiel where I wasn't responding, my bad. I'm making up for it though! Also, to the guests who left comments, thanks for enjoying the story! And the Beethoven joke left me speechless! Much appreciated, and please enjoy the next installment of TGH!

I own nothing but my shoes and my laptop.


"Ha, hahaha, hahahahahaha, do please enjoy yourself, sir."

Kaia squinted as a fade buzzed through her skin. Focusing remained strenuous, a couple stretches here and there, but she figured as long as she kept awake she's keep alive. She'd already died once. No hurry to die again.

Her stomach growled low and sharp, convinced her throat'd been cut. It didn't help that before her was a beautifully cooked roast boar, all red and ready for the taking. Its smell clouded the air like a wave of fog-thick, heavy, but enticing and alluring and Kaia's lips were stained with saliva no matter how often she wiped it off.

And it was right there. Right in front of her, the whole thing, just waiting. That, in itself, hurt nearly as bad as the sucking, thundering shock in her head, but since this was food she decided against comparing them. It sure looked good, though. Probably.

All she allowed herself was a thin string of meat from the inside of its ribs. Meat, pure, fresh meat had always tasted better when she'd killed it herself, and this was no change. The only problem was, the pig wasn't for her. Pig wasn't for her… For him? For her?

She grinned and dug her canine into her lip, letting it bleed, like the smell. Made for a shameful sight, it did. Right about then, Kaia decided if she was gonna have to cook for anybody else like this, she was gonna cook twice as much so she didn't have to starve herself. Or she was just gonna eat the whole darn thing herself 'cause hunger was irritating, but again, it didn't ever seem to go away so she'd just deal with it.

She swallowed spit. Buhara, in front of her, didn't. Instead, he took to that boar like a fish to water and went through it just as fast, and it tore Kaia a hole in her chest that nearly knocked her off her feet. Pretty soon only bones remained. They glistened savantly, almost like they were mocking her or maybe gloating about her not being able to eat, or maybe they were just seeming like it and Kaia was just hungry.

"Mm, yup!" Buhara, stomach bulging beneath his stained yellow shirt, grinned at her. "This was delicious! You pass!"

Kaia stared at him for a moment, frowning a little, trying to hear his words. Then, she cracked a smile, laughed a bit. "If that's the case, I'd be happy to cook for you again. Thanks for liking it!" Off on the side, Menchi slammed a big baton against a gong. It went off like a firework, startling Kaia into baring her teeth, but she calmed just as fast, looking to Menchi with patient but eager eyes.

"It's over!" Menchi declared brightly. "Results of the Roast Pork test: Seventy people pass! I'm warning you, it won't be as easy with me. I'm very cautious when it comes to taste." Confidently, she balanced the baton on her shoulder, lifting her chin. "You have fifteen minutes before the second part of the second round begins. Someone come clean up these bones!" As Menchi placed the baton down, Kaia gave a short bow addressed to the two of them, opting to meet back up with Leorio and the rest, but as she straightened, Buhara caught her shoulder.

His hand was huge compared to her frame. Just one of his fingers took up most of her shoulder. Easily, he could snap her neck and Kaia could picture it, but his shirt was yellow and Kaia already figured she liked him, so she turned easily to listen as he spoke. Even though, at this point, she was well into wanting to pass out. Her head hurt something awful, and Leorio would have pills to numb it. Maybe something for whatever was happening to her. But, figuring on paying respect to the big man before her, Kaia made sure to smile through the drag that thrummed hard enough to demand tears, and listened.

"This may not be my place," he said, voice quiet, low in a soft way, "but if you keep leaking your aura like that, you're going to get sick."

Kaia stared. Somehow, thinking straight hurt even more.

"He's right, you know," Menchi called from on her right. The woman walked with a special kind of swagger that demanded attention and a lot of confidence. Her green eyes were sharp, but curious. "We would just leave it be, but it almost looks like you aren't doing it purposefully. As a Hunter, it's our job to make sure rookies like you don't kill yourselves accidentally. So? Can you pull it back?"

Kaia stared, face relaxed and easy, then said, "I'm awful confused." A second later, understanding lit her eyes. "Oh, nen. You're talking about nen."

Menchi's frown deepened. "If you already know about it, stop leaking it. Number 44's already grating on my nerves. I don't need a brat adding in."

Now this, this confused her. And really, that's all she could say about it. Slowly, Kaia's thumb met her chin to tap it, which then slowly turned to a rubbing motion, and all Kaia could think was that she was confused again, and that her head hurt a whole awful lot. Because what else was she supposed to think for this? Or, better question, how to respond? What, exactly, was she supposed to do at this moment in time, because she was all sorts of awfully confused all over again.

Because, in a word, what?

So she started laughing.

"Number 405?" Buhara prodded gently. Kaia blinked out of her stupor to look at him. It followed by looking at Menchi, and then at the bones of the boar Buhara had picked clean. "Can you pull it back?"

A new thought struck her hard enough to make her eyes suddenly turn feral and her teeth sharp in the sunlight. "What a wonderful question," she said, edging into an excited, terrified fear. Her stomach found her spine. "I'll go find out."

That said, Kaia turned and trotted off, quickly so there wouldn't be any argument, aiming for the one person she could confidently say might help her. Might, being the key word. Whether or not he did was up for him to know and her to wonder about, but since wondering sure wasn't gonna do a load of anything, she might as well just ask. She'd been putting it off for too long anyway. That, and she had a mighty hard time understanding anything, so actions at this point were best.

Finding him didn't take much time. Most contestants cast him cautious glances with quick eyes when he was too far to see, and those close gave him a wide berth, so all Kaia had to do was follow the trails of fear. Being as she was too short to look over the monsters of height, it worked out rather well. Now, head barely above the lilac buff his pants gave at the hips, Kaia swallowed the fresh pit of terror from his eyes along with the inane desire to run just because he smiled at her, and she said, "You're scary."

His eyebrow quirked up, "Hm?" and she quickly backtracked.

"Ah, haha, sorry, that wasn't what I meant to say." She paused, blinking quickly as to let her mind reboot to where she wanted it, but then what just happened caught her and she started laughing. And laughing. And laughing until she couldn't breathe, and then she just stopped, and stared. "Sorry."

Her head really, really hurt. Somebody must have slammed it into a dragon's rib cage, with lots of fire and pointy things and pain.

In the background, which had an eerie silence as people were caught in the watching, she heard someone whisper, "that kid's crazy," before it was quiet again. She didn't say anything. Her eyes, wide and blue as the empty sky above, remained stationed on the vibrant, clear yellow curbs of his. They were weird eyes. Like a bird, in a sly way. She couldn't find a single ripple in the color, as if the whole eye was just a bright ring of sunlight or daffodil or, in the same haunting way she felt now, an owl's.

He looked like he was hunting her with just his eyes.

She was terrified. She responded like usual.

He smiled. "Well, well, apology accepted. Now, what could a dear like you want from me?"

Silence. Dead, drawn silence. Kaia swallowed, licked her canines. "I want to be strong."

"Is that so..." that thick, rich, beautifully mortifying voice was as pleased as he looked. He flashed out a card, showing the red of its back. "Will fighting me make you strong?" And then, the air burst tense.

Violently tense, gripping and pulling and strikingly tense. Even the grass stretched away, and those around quickly passed further, and a beetle that had been investigating the edge of her foot flipped over and died kind of tense.

Kaia snorted. Flinched, and snorted again.

"That'd make me dead," she said simply. Her teeth were cropped in a maybe feral half grin. "I was hoping you'd be my teacher, actually. Apologies for the confusion."

Whatever made the hairs on her arm stiffen suddenly dropped away like a blast of sea water. Hisoka, himself, had a caught look on his face, one much like confusion. Or maybe a better word was bafflement, Kaia guessed, because probably not many came to him with this question. There was a fair chance this was a first. So, she smiled as bright as she could and bowed deeply at the waist and said, "Hisoka, the magician, please teach me."

Somehow, it got even quieter.

A second later, a gong went off loud enough to startle Kaia into shining her canines. She calmed just as fast, straightening until she stood upright while remaining intensely aware of each and every whisp of movement around her, because she was still utterly terrified.

"Listen up, you all!" The woman who'd drummed the gong kicked open the doors of the old cabin, the one her and Buhara had been hiding in straight till noon. Inside, Kaia could see rows and rows of counters, lined with pans and knives, and there looked to be a bag of rice by each individual sink. Menchi flared back around with that same swagger-like confidence. "I want sushi!"

Whoa, Runa, in her mind, suddenly spoke. You were right. It is the manga.

"Nope," Kaia whispered. "This is the fanfiction. Welcome back, too. Was hoping you'd keep me company in death, haha."

No response.

Menchi frowned when nobody made a motion inside. "You all seem bothered... But even if you've never seen it, you can still make it. It's a small island's traditional meal. I'll give you a hand!" She strutted inside and, belligerent but wary, the contestants began to follow. "Look over here. You'll be cooking here. Everything is all set up. There's also the rice, essential in making sushi. One last thing," she went on, holding up a finger, "I'll only accept hand-made sushi. Alright! It's up to you now! You can make as many as you'd like, but don't forget that when I'm full, the trial is over!"

Although they'd made it inside the cabin, which was set nicely and lit in a pleasant manner so one could easily see whatever they needed to do, Kaia's stomach remained twisted against her spine and her head wasn't any better than a dead fish's. She'd been sure to keep close to Hisoka, standing just a few feet away at any given time. Until he gave her an answer, at least.

Swiftly, she started laughing.

Hisoka rolled those burning eyes toward her. "You have found something funny again, I see..." His grin spread fast. "You look so terrified of me. Shaking like that, yet approaching me for such a reason... You have surprised me, little girl."

Kaia laughed harder. "Sorry, sorry," she chuckled out, grasping her belly that felt hollow and cold. "I just thought this was like a love confession, just a little. Anyway, you haven't said yet, so I'll ask again." Regaining herself, she bowed once more. "Please be my teacher, Hisoka."

In her head, she thought maybe she'd die anyway.

He hummed, low and thrumming, like her skull. "There are plenty of strong," his eyes glazed here, "people out there to choose from. Why pick me, who terrifies you... Could this be a love confession?"

Her face dropped to something absolutely expressionless. It held all of about ten seconds before abruptly splitting to the widest grin she had. Something challenging stirred in her chest. "Could it? I feel all sorts of ways right now, so who knows? Hard to tell with me. So? Your answer?"

For a while, they just looked at each other, one gradually growing more enticed, more caught by the other, or maybe it was both of them. Prickles felt their way along Kaia's spine. They crept up her neck, down her arms, making her fingertips buzz with a violently ready tautness. It wasn't until a heavy man who wasn't watching where he was rammed into Kaia, who, in turn, rammed into Hisoka that they returned to the world.

Kaia's fear splintered and twisted again. He'd stopped her from moving with a finger to the forehead.

Slowly, he withdrew the sharpened claw, and said, "You know my name. It is only fair that I know yours, no?"

"Call me Kaia, sir."

"Mmn… Wonderful… Now, Kaia," when he said it she shivered, "it seems a crowd has gathered. Let us continue this conversation at a more...suitable time, hm? Oh, also," eyes like the sun's burned into hers as he stepped away. "It would be shameful for someone like you to die early on because of a little mistake, wouldn't it? That warmth you have... Do keep it from flying away, Kaia."

He lilted at the last part of that, at her name, and all Kaia could do was stare at his back while he walked away, into the crowd of contestants that were by far very, very much weaker than him. There was no doubt that, if he so chose, he'd swallow them all.

Her hair tickled her neck as somebody swished behind her. Body relaxing, Kaia let out a sigh and held up her bloody hand, thinking about what he'd just said. 'The warmth,' he'd said, 'do keep it inside you'. Kinda like a riddle but nothing made sense anyway. This'd be no different.

Carefully, she made a fist. After, she released it, focusing hard on the feel of air around her hand, and it was then that she realized why she had yet to feel cold down in her bones. She'd known things were cold, could feel the chill against her skin, but she'd yet to be chilled. Suddenly, a whole lot of things that hadn't made sense before made an awful lot of sense. The burning of her skin when she first woke up. The tiredness. The fast build of muscles. Pulling the boar. Hazing. It was as obvious as the sun during noon, and obviously, just as unnoticeable as your own heartbeat. She'd awakened her nen.

Knowing that, and now being aware of the strange warm liquidish thing hovering over every inch of her body, she willed whatever it was back inside her stomach. For a second, nothing happened, so she imagined herself touching the thing surrounding her. After that, boxing it, guiding it into its own looping gate until it gradually shrunk back into a little ball stored in her gut. This was no different from when she'd first heard her own heartbeat, she figured. Back Then, it'd happened during a hunting trip out when the sky was black as a stone, and upon hearing, she became more curious than afraid and eventually she'd figured out how to make it beat at the speed she wanted when she wanted it. So, pulling in this weird, sticky feeling, would be no different. She wouldn't let it be different. Because this was supposed to be her body and her nen and for the love of freaking dogs, it would listen to her.

Her heartbeat slowed. The liquid went away.

Suddenly, her fingers became actual fingers. Kaia, in a flare, could see. Her legs burned in a natural, old way. The tips of her ears were numb. The dress was scratchy on her waist, her scratched, bare feet stung brilliantly, as well as the cut on her palm. Her lungs, her chest, wasn't tight, and her head didn't hurt.

For the first time, Kaia felt like this was her body.

"Shoot, this," she whispered, eyes widening in startlement. "...It feels freaking awesome."

Happiness hit her like a bullet to the back.

"I feel freaking awesome!" She blinked fast, a completely different, completely gleeful grin shredding her face while she focused where Hisoka had gone off to. "This was the best freaking decision I have ever made in my entire life. This," the glee was bubbling and weightless and seemed to carry her off her feet on its trip upward. "This is freaking awesome. Oh my gosh, I can breath right! My head doesn't hurt! Dude, I don't hurt!"

"Kaia, do you know what Sushi is?"

She wheeled around with that exploding kind of happiness and Gon flinched.

Killua, beside him, edged back just a centimeter. "What's up with you?"

"I feel like I could cry," she explained, coming close to them, so close she could hear them breath. Her nose started to burn a bit, and when she brought up her hand, one she could marvelously feel completely, she hadn't even noticed when it'd started not feeling and it feeling again was such a wonderful feeling, she was crying.

She was crying a lot, too. That made her laugh. So she laughed until she couldn't hardly remember where she was anymore, or who was talking to her, or what they were even saying, or anything at all because she was just so happy she was crying and that was incredibly, amazingly, wonderfully not very funny at all.

Oh, but it really was.

Kaia stopped abruptly, breathless, grinning at Gon and Killua, who looked back with worry and confusion, respectively, and just as abruptly, Kaia said, "Can I hug you?"

Killua quite literally did nothing. Gon, confused but willing, said yes, so she hugged him. He still smelled like fish. But, his skin felt sharp against her cheek, and the intense heat vibrating off his chest was swallowing hers, and the hands on her back left distinguished imprints in her memory. It was easily the best hug she'd had since she'd shot her first elk. Maybe even as splendid as that, who knew.

Withdrawing, Kaia whispered, "I'm so happy I could kiss you right now," but before she did she turned on Killua and asked, "you too, could I hug you too? Please?"

Before he could decline she decided she'd hug him anyway, so she did. He, unlike Gon, didn't hug her back. He felt stiff against her. Almost like wrestling a tree, but it just made her tighten her grip a little more, trying to squeeze that feeling of absolute amazement into him as well. She waited till she figured it was awkward enough for the both of them to finally pull back, but at that, she kept her hands on his shoulders, and smiled at his stunned face. At the teal of his wide, round eyes, and the slack on his cheeks and chap on his lips, and the edges of red creeping up his ears.

Her own eyes slipped shut and she smiled toothily. "You are both wonderful, incredibly human beings, thank you so much for letting me know you exist, I love you both."

.

.

.

Just kidding. Actually, she stared at the slight pinch beneath Killua's left eye, where it drew up because obviously what she did completely baffled him and he was wanting none other than to get as far away as he possibly could, but again, he was baffled and thus unable to do anything but make that funny little face, with his mouth open, his hands half raised in a defensive manner. As if she were a box in his room that'd moved for no reason. Or a tree that suddenly spoke. Or a person who just hugged him when he wasn't expecting it. To be fair, she had given him a warning.

She pat him twice on the shoulder before humming gleefully and skipping down the rows of kitchen tables. She kept on going, too, till she found one unused and vacant of nearby contestants. She acted from there almost with no thought at all. As she washed a collection of rice, her hums turned to a song. As she put the rice in one of the largest pots, and filled it with almost twice as much water, she turned on the electric stove, and started dancing. And while dancing, she took out some butter from her fanny pack and cut it about halfway down, and after that, she crushed it into the rice, and salted it, and put on a lid, and took out the eggs she'd gotten from Akihiko, and a pan, and some soy sauce, and she didn't hesitate at all when people started looking at her strange, or when they started pointing her direction.

She was happy. Completely, utterly, only happy.

Kaia loved being happy.

Around then, somebody came edging up on her left, quick-like. Kaia met them with an eager grin. "What's up, Kurapika?"

He seemed a little put off by her demeanor but whatever pushed him to approach her in the first place kept its face up. "It appears you know what sushi is, going by how fervently you're preparing the food." The silver of his eyes drifted from the pot of rice to the eggs, the soy sauce, then her own face.

Kaia nodded. "Yessir, I surely do. Tastes pretty good too."

His eyes narrowed, and his voice went quiet, as if he was sharing a secret. "I was under the impression it was made with raw fish. Yet, you are using eggs."

"I am?" Smile still lit, Kaia rolled one of the eggs between her fingers in contemplation, humming, before saying, "Whoa, either both of us are right or one of us are wrong." She glanced behind him and brightened further. "Leorio!"

"Oh, Kaia, haven't seen you for a while. I almost thought you didn't make it through the second round, but I guess you were fine after all!" He came right up to her, not at all deterred by any usual standards of personal space, to scrutinize what she had out. "You know what sushi is?"

She flashed her teeth. "Thought I did, but Kurapika said it was made with raw fish over rice, so maybe I'm wrong."

"Fish!?" Leorio shouted, as if outraged at the idea. "Where can we find that in the middle of a forest!?"

The smack was instantaneous and Kurapika followed with another upside Leorio's jaw. "Why don't you speak louder, moron!" Almost as an afterthought, he added, "there must be pools or rivers nearby."

"Too late," Kaia pointed at mass of contestants charging out the only door in the building, "off they go. You guys probably wanted to keep that to yourselves, yeah? Might be running short on fish pretty soon, haha. Ha, hahaha, haha. Running short. Ha."

Leorio spat. "They were all spying on us!"

"Leorio, we should have expected it. Let's hurry and catch some so we can still serve the meal."

Kaia smiled as the two hurried off. When they were out of ear's reach, she mumbled, "I'm so freaking glad I'm not crazy, man," and then she pulled out a bottle of rice vinegar, along with some sugar and that nice rice wine she'd persuaded Leorio to grab for her, under the pretense of storing it for him later.

Unfortunately, he didn't have much of a chance. Food was the mind of the soul and for that, it came first in all things but maybe sleep. Speaking of, she wasn't feeling very hungry anymore, nor tired. Perhaps the constant drain of using nen had been pulling from that?

Thoughtfully, Kaia turned the rice down to a low simmer before pouring the sugar, rice vinegar and salt into a saucepan, along with the vegetable oil set beside the sink. As she stirred, she remembered the stark driving hunger she'd found herself stationed with for the past week or so. Initially, she'd just pegged it to her increasing workout, knowing effort required nutrients. It made a whole lot more sense if she was draining her nen the whole darn time without even being aware. What really confused her was the fact that she wasn't dead yet. Hadn't Wing, or maybe Bisky, said something about how when nen first awakened in a person, they'd die if they didn't contain it?

Say Kaia had awakened her nen on the boat, when she first woke up. That would mean she'd been leaking nen for a solid nine days. Now, Kaia had always been proud of herself and did like to imagine having unnaturally powerful abilities, but she wasn't naive enough to believe she woke up with enough nen stored up to literally drain it for nine days without getting killed.

She took the rice off the burner and mixed in the saucepan's inventory, still thoughtful, even as she cracked the eggs and beat them with a careful hand of chopsticks so's to keep the air content low. Her musings continued even still while mixing the rice wine, some soy sauce and a tid bit of sugar into the eggs. Continued, still, while greasing an unused pan with oil, and heating it till it burned to the touch, where she smoothly lowered the heat and began frying the eggs, aware very, very few people were left in the cabin, and that those who were mostly seemed to watch her.

It hit her when she finished rolling the omelette together, just as she was starting to cut it. "It's like cooking," she whispered, tilting the knife in her hand. "I didn't die 'cause I was cooking." She grinned, then, and started chopping. "Hey, Neko, I figured it out. See, when you cook, you expend energy. But, cooking is done so you can eat, and eating gives you the energy you need to cook, and that's why I'm not dead!"

The dog panted exuberantly and Kaia chuckled, dropped a string of egg. "What I'm basically saying is that while I was spending all that energy, I was killing myself a whole lot slower than I could have been. 'Cause I kept sleeping, and eating, I think. Remember how I ate all that steak? And I pretty much constantly snacked on the apples on that ship. It gave me enough to stay alive and thus, I am alive, which is pretty darn cool considering I'm dead. Glad I found out when I did, though." Contemplative, she began flipping the knife. "I'm pretty sure I would have died again otherwise. I never stopped, just slowed the process, I think. Probably hit my end point back there though. Huh. That's kinda funny."

She paused to look at the plate before her. What sat in the middle made for a pretty picture, it did. Steamed, glistening white rice topped with that golden yellow roll of egg, all about half the size of her fist. One was set aside just for her. She ate it slowly, savoring the taste. Sweet. Light, fluffy. The egg rolled off the rice like a gentle roll of sunshine, mingled with the memory of spring rain and the starch of pine in the evening light, and it was good.

It tasted good.

Kaia felt good.

She was the only one of the contestants left inside when she walked up to Menchi and Buhara. The rest had all forgone whatever trust they had in themselves, turning blind eyes to the options inside. Kaia was the only one there to watch Menchi scrutinize her mean's appearance, to see her dub it edible and dip it in the soy sauce that'd been sidelined like an archer. They never won the battle, but they sure made things easier, and Kaia figured it made the sushi taste a little better too. Menchi looked to be of the same mind.

"What made you think of cooking this?" The beautiful woman leaned back when she asked this, her arms straping over the back of a rich, red colored love seat.

"I thought I was dying and wanted eggs."

"...Can you repeat that?"

"Well, I was looking for somewhere to sit down, and this one restaurant by a harbor had some lovely lookin' stools. Somebody there was eating what they called a special kind of Nigiri sushi... Tasted pretty good."

A delicate eyebrow raised and her glinting green eyes stationed on Kaia and Kaia alone. "You made this all from the memory of the taste? With no technique?"

"Kinda."

"Oh, so somebody taught you?"

"No, ma'am."

"...You might just be a genius in the making. But I'm curious. These eggs you used are from a White Chick-Bear." At this, Menchi paused, as if for dramatic effect. But since Kaia didn't have any clue of what a White Chick-Bear was, she didn't do anything other than smile. After a while of looking, Menchi must have found something she liked, 'cause she said, "You pass."

"Freaking yes, awesome. Thank you."

"One last question, before you go. Why did you take these eggs instead of any of the other normal birds in the Biska Woods?"

"Ah, good question, haha." Kaia pondered, tapping her chin. It slowly turned to a rubbing motion. Just how should she respond to this? Now that her head didn't hurt, it felt easy to think about things, to just ponder them, so she was enjoying taking her time on an answer. She could say she knew the future and grabbed the nearest set of eggs. That would be a lie, but she could say it. She could also say that Akihiko had handed them off when she'd given him advice on cooking. That was the truth, and she could say it. She could also say something unrelated that could be interpreted as an answer but not quite. So, smiling, Kaia lifted her chin and said, "Tasted pretty good."