Chapter 9
Starsky went back to Hutch's room and saw Captain Dobey. He had brought flowers for Hutch and was searching for a place to set them down. Starsky took the flowers and put them on the windowsill without saying a word. Starsky could tell by the way that his captain was looking at him, that Dobey knew he had been in Simonetti's room. Starsky sat in the chair closest to Hutch, "I couldn't do it, Cap'n. I wanted to, God knows I wanted to, but I couldn't. I knew that when I went in his room."
"That's what makes you better than him, Son," Captain Dobey said as he moved the other chair so that he was facing Starsky. "That's what makes you and Hutch better than the trash you put behind bars."
"How is Simonetti doing anyway? I mean he looked pretty rough when I saw him lying there."
"The doctors don't know. He had a lot of internal bleeding and they still don't know if he's going to live or not. Before you ask, Dryden and Andrews have been moved to another part of the state for their own protection."
"Don't worry, I won't go after them. And I won't go after Simonetti again either, you have my word."
"Your word has always been good enough for me." Captain Dobey looked at Hutch, who was showing no signs of moving anytime soon, and said, "Go home, Starsky. Just for a few hours, get some sleep."
"No. I slept last night. I'm okay, Cap'n. I promised him I'd be here when he wakes up and I'm not leaving him."
Simmons and Babcock came in to check in on Hutch and Starsky. Starsky filled them in on Hutch's prognosis. It wasn't long after that when the nurse said everyone except for Starsky would have to leave. Simmons and Babcock promised Starsky they would check in on Huggy and let him know that Starsky would be by later to see him.
Starsky did visit Huggy later and he was doing much better. Huggy was set to be released the next day. Starsky was able to sneak Huggy into Hutch's room for a little while. Seeing Hutch like that made Huggy sad and he told Starsky, "It's my fault, Starsky. If Blondie here hadn't tried to save me…"
"It's not your fault, Hug. Hutch and I knew it was a trap. We knew Simonetti, Dryden and Andrews were there waiting for us. It was our choice, our decision to go in that cave. Don't do this to yourself. It was Simonetti that shot Hutch and it's his fault," Starsky said sounding angry. He wasn't about to let Huggy think any of this was his fault. "Look, Huggy, Hutch and I went into this with our eyes wide open. So did Simmons and Babcock. They were after us and were going to use anyone they could to get us." Starsky said in a much calmer, quieter voice.
"Just remember that goes both ways. It's not your fault either, my man. I know you, Starsk, and I know how you like to blame yourself when something happens to Hutch."
Huggy stayed for a while before Starsky wheeled him back to his own room. Starsky left Huggy and went back to Hutch's room. Starsky was tired and after talking to Hutch a few minutes he put a blanket on the roll away bed that Debbie had brought in for him and went to sleep. He left the bathroom light on so he would have enough light to watch Hutch sleep.
It was about 0400, when Starsky thought he heard Hutch moving around. He leaped up and went to his partner's bedside. Starsky grabbed Hutch's hand giving it a gentle squeeze, "I'm right here, Pal."
Hutch moved his fingers but was unable to squeeze Starsky's hand, "Starsk?" he moaned as if it took all of his strength to get the word out.
"I'm here, Hutch. That's it, wake up. Can you open your eyes for me?" Starsky was excited to hear Hutch's voice and even though it was weak, it was music to his ears. Starsky realized that he just asked Hutch to open his eyes even though he had patches over them and said, "Hutch, squeeze my hand."
"Starsk, turn a light on, it's dark." Starsky's felt his heart jump into his throat.
"I know it is, Buddy," Starsky's voice was soft and soothing. "Hey, Buddy, I need to let the doctor know you're awake. I'll be right back, okay?" Hutch didn't have the strength to say anything else, he just nodded.
Starsky ran to the nurse's station. He ran so fast he ran right into it. He told the nurse that Hutch was awake and talking. She immediately called the doctor. Hutch's doctor was in the hospital already because he was going to check in on some of his patients before a surgery that was scheduled for 0500. He came to the nurse's station and Starsky bombarded him with questions. "If Hutch is awake, does that mean he's out of danger? Should we tell him about the possibility of his being blind, and what about his hair? Should I tell about…"
"Mr. Starsky…"
"Please, just call me Starsky. I think we've known each other long enough to forgo the formalities."
"Starsky it is then. Please slow down; one question at a time. Now that he's awake, I can run more tests and see how he is from a neurological standpoint; then we can see about upgrading his condition. You're his best friend, do you want to tell him about his vision or would you like me to?"
"I'll tell him, Doc. He should hear it from me, but I want to be alone with him when I tell him, okay?"
"I understand. I'll need to remove the bandages and we'll know then if he can see. Remember what I said, if he can't see now; it doesn't mean it's permanent. He could regain his sight when the swelling goes down. He'll need another CT-Scan but that can wait. I'm expected in surgery pretty quick." Starsky nodded as they headed toward Hutch's room. The doctor waited outside to give Starsky time to explain to Hutch about the possibility of him being blind.
Starsky went to Hutch's bedside and held his partner's hand, "I'm back, Buddy. The doctor will be here in a minute."
"Starsk, why is it so dark?" Hutch sounded concerned almost panicked.
Starsky gritted his teeth, "Hutch, you were shot in the head. Right now you have a bandage on your head and your eyes are covered. That's why it's dark."
"Is he going to remove the bandages now that I'm awake?" Hutch seemed to be gaining some of his strength back now that he was awake.
"Hutch, listen to me, okay? Don't say anything, just listen." Hutch nodded. "You have some swelling around your optic nerve." Starsky said in a matter-of-fact voice.
"And?" Hutch knew there was more that Starsky didn't want to tell him.
Starsky squeezed Hutch's hand tighter, picked it up, put his other hand on Hutch's so that he was now holding Hutch's hand with both of his and moved it close to his own chest, "Hutch, when the doctor comes in and removes the bandages, there's a chance you won't be able to see."
Hutch struggled to move his hand from Starsky's grip but Starsky held onto his partner's hand and wasn't about to let go, "It'll be okay, Hutch. Listen to me. He also said that there's a good chance that you'll get your sight back when the swelling goes down. And you might be able to see. We won't know until he removes the bandages." Starsky felt the tension in Hutch's hand ease up. He didn't know if that was because his partner was too worn out to fight him or if he understood that the blindness, if he was blind, was probably temporary.
"Bring him in, let's get this show on the road," Hutch tried to sound brave but Starsky knew he was scared. He was scared too.
The doctor performed other neurological tests before he was ready to remove the bandages. He had Hutch move all four extremities and tested his reflexes. Once he was satisfied that Hutch had no other obvious deficits, he proceeded to remove the bandages. He told Hutch to shield his eyes before removing the eye pads and to keep his eyes closed. Slowly, the doctor removed the pad that was covering Hutch's right eye and then he removed the left one. "Okay, Hutch, you can open your eyes now. You'll need to give them a minute or two to adjust to the light."
Hutch hesitated before opening his eyes. "I'm right here, Buddy," he heard Starsky say and then he felt Starsky's hand on his shoulder. He took comfort knowing that no matter what; Starsky would be there for him.
"Okay, here it goes," Hutch said nervously as he opened his eyes. After opening his eyes, he hung his head, "there's nothing."
"Remember, I said there's a good chance that you will get your sight back when the swelling goes down. That could be tomorrow or next month we have no way of knowing."
"Yeah, thanks, Doc," Hutch said as he turned his head to see if he could see any light if he changed his position.
"Get some rest, you'll need it. I'll check back after I get the results of your CT-Scan." Hutch just nodded.
Starsky raised his eyebrows, "Thanks, Doc."
After the doctor left the room, Hutch felt a cold draft and felt the top of his head. "My hair!"
"I'm sorry, Hutch. They had to cut it off for the surgery. Don't worry it'll grow back," he sounded as sympathetic as he could. He knew Hutch loved his blond hair and would not like being bald. "You're lucky you're still alive. Hutch you almost…I almost lost you this time."
"Yeah, I'm lucky, all right." Hutch laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes.
Over the next week, Hutch had other doctors examine his eyes and look over all the scans and tests. They all agreed that it appeared as if he would regain his sight when the swelling went down. None of them could tell Hutch just how long that would take. Starsky knew Hutch was putting on a good front for the doctors, the staff at the hospital as well as Captain Dobey and even Huggy.
Before Starsky took Hutch home, he took some of his things to Hutch's so that he could stay with Hutch until his sight came back. It wouldn't be the first time he stayed at his partner's place to help him recuperate from an injury. Hutch had stayed at Starsky's a few times too.
Starsky finished putting the last of Hutch's things in the suitcase and closed it. Hutch was sitting on the bed, listening to everything that was going on around him. He hated to be waited on hand and foot and was determined that he would do what he could for himself.
Starsky parked the Torino in from of Hutch's apartment and ran around the other side to help Hutch. "Starsk, I've been opening car doors for years now," Hutch opened the door and got out. Starsky stood and watched Hutch making sure he didn't trip over the curb. Hutch had been given a quick course at the hospital on how to use the white cane with the red tip and was able to navigate the curb. "See, I told you. I'll be fine, Starsk."
Starsky didn't say anything. He didn't want to upset Hutch. Hutch may not have said anything in the hospital about the frustrations of being blind but Starsky knew once Hutch was in the privacy of his own home and it was just the two of them, he would. Starsky opened the door to the building and caught Hutch as he stumbled on the third step. "Take it easy, Pal. You're not running a race. Take your time."
Hutch nodded, "Maybe I'd better slow down a little."
Starsky reached above the door frame and removed Hutch's spare key. He unlocked the door and they went inside. Hutch was able to go straight to the couch. Starsky went to the refrigerator and removed two beers. He opened them and handed one to Hutch. "Thanks, Pal. You know, Starsk, you don't have to stay with me."
"Hutch, we've been over this. I'm not leaving you like this."
"Yeah, I know. To be honest, I'm glad you're here," Hutch said as he downed his beer. He wanted to drink it fast, he wanted to get drunk. "I'm scared, Starsk. I thought I could handle this at first but I don't know that I can."
Starsky was sitting next to Hutch on the couch and he put his arm around Hutch, "You don't have to do this alone. I'm right here with you, Buddy. We're in this together, Me and Thee." Starsky explained that he had talked to Captain Dobey and he would be allowed to take some of his vacation time now so he could stay with Hutch at least for a little while.
Hutch knew he could tell Starsky anything and knew he didn't have to hide his true feeling about anything with him. "What if I don't get my sight back? What will happen to Me and Thee then?"
"Let's cross that road when we get to it." Starsky didn't want to think about would happen if Hutch couldn't see.
"No. I want to talk about it now," Hutch had accomplished his goal of becoming totally inebriated after downing a few more beers, "What will you do, Buddy, if I can't go back to work?" Hutch was slurring his words.
"I guess I'll get a job doing something else."
"You'd quit the department? But you love being a cop."
"Aw, Hutch, I couldn't do this job without you. I won't do this job without you on the streets with me."
"You're not good at anything else, Starsk," Hutch said laughing. He was so unsteady he couldn't sit up on his own and he fell on top of Starsky.
"Am too," Starsky argued.
"What else can you do besides playing mother hen to me?"
Starsky thought for a minute about what else he could do if he had to, "I don't know, I could do lots of things."
"Name one," Hutch rolled his eyes and looked at Starsky as if he could see him.
"Photography. I could be a photographer, how's that?" Now will you get off me?"
"Oh, okaaay," Hutch said as he tried to sit up. "Starsk, help me."
"I'm here for ya, Buddy, every step of the way. We'll get through this, Hutch, just like we always do, together."
"I love ya, Starsk. You're always here for me."
"That goes both ways, Pal."
Hutch shared his feelings about the possibility of being blind permanently. He said that not only was he scared and felt alone but how afraid he was for Starsky to feel like he had to take care of him. Starsky reassured him that he would always be with Hutch because he was his best friend and not because he had too. Hutch became very emotional and upset. He leaned against Starsky again and cried. Starsky just held him and let him vent all the anger and frustration Hutch had been holding in since the shooting. Finally, Hutch was all talked out and Starsky knew what they both needed now was some much-needed sleep. "You've had a long day and so I have I; let's get some sleep."
"I want another beer."
"Hutch, you drank all the beer."
"I drank all the beer, what about you?"
"I've only had one."
"Some friend you are, you let me drink all that beer. What's wrong with you? Do you know how I'm going to feel in the morning?"
"I tried to stop you, but you can be pretty stubborn once you decide you want to get drunk, ya know. Let me help you get into bed." Starsky helped Hutch into his bed and then he threw a blanket and pillow on the couch and went to sleep himself.
"Add just a little more wheat germ, Starsk." Hutch said as he was leaning against the counter in the kitchen.
Starsky was adding a mixture of stuff in the blender as Hutch directed him, "I put in the amount you said too."
"I may be blind, but I can smell it and I'm telling you it's not enough wheat germ. And while you're at it, do me a favor."
"Sure anything, Pal," Starsky answered as he dipped the tablespoon in the jar of wheat germ and added it to the black strap molasses and goat's milk that was already in the blender. He made a face that looked like he ate something sour.
"Don't let me drink that much again. Being dizzy and blind at the same time is not a good combination." Starsky chuckled and made another face as he smelled the concoction Hutch had him make. Hutch usually drank an energy drink in the mornings and Starsky volunteered to help Hutch until his sight came back. "Starsk, quit making faces at my drink."
"I can't believe you still actually drink this junk."
"I can't believe you don't. You really should try it. It'll make a man out of you."
"No thanks, I think I'm man enough," Starsky replied as he turned the blender on for thirty seconds then poured the mixture into a glass for Hutch. Hutch was able to find the table and sit in one of the chairs unassisted by Starsky who kept a watchful eye out making sure Hutch wasn't about to trip over anything. After Hutch was seated, Starsky opened the refrigerator and found the pastrami he had brought over and made himself a sandwich.
"You're seriously going to make fun of my drink and you're going to eat pastrami for breakfast?"
"What's wrong with pastrami for breakfast?"
"If I have to tell you, you'll never understand."
Starsky ate his pastrami and was glad that Hutch seemed relaxed at least for the moment.
"You know what I want to do today?"
"What's that?"
"I want to go to the pier. Will you take me?"
"Sure, anyplace you want to go. Maybe afterward we can drop in on Huggy, I know he'd like to see you."
"That sounds good. You know what I want first?"
"Yeah," Starsky walked to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet and took out a bottle of aspirin, "Here ya go. It's two aspirin." Starsky gently took Hutch's hand and put the aspirin in the palm of his partner's left hand.
Hutch felt for the aspirin with his right index finger and picked them up one-by-one and put them in his mouth. Starsky handed Hutch his drink. Hutch swallowed the aspirin and finished his drink. "Thanks."
Starsky and Hutch made their way to the end of the pier and were leaning on the railing when Hutch said, "You know, I can hear a lot more than I ever had. It's strange but I never noticed how many birds and other things were at the beach."
"I guess it's true that your other senses take over when you lose one."
"This is beautiful, Starsk. I mean it's really beautiful. The beach is so full of life and sounds that I've never noticed. Can you hear the seagull to the left of us flying at about eleven o'clock?"
Starsky turned his head to the left and looked up, sure enough he saw a seagull flying, "I didn't notice him. What else do you notice, Hutch?"
Hutch stood still for a minute and cocked his head to the right, I hear two people fighting on the beach on the right, an airplane overhead, and someone down the pier just threw a line in the water."
Starsky looked around and he saw everything Hutch was describing. "You know, I wouldn't have noticed any of those things." He reached out and patted Hutch's arm.
"Close your eyes, Starsk. Close your eyes and just listen to the waves, to the birds to all the sounds we've been missing all these years."
Starsky closed his eyes and he could hear the seagull and other birds. The plane was long gone but he could hear the waves crashing on the beach. He had heard the waves hitting the beach many times before but this time he really paid attention how relaxing and rhythmic the sound was. "This really is something, Hutch. I've heard the waves before but never really paid attention to just how relaxing it is."
Hutch smiled and took a deep breath and sniffed the air, "Can you smell the salt of the ocean in the air, Starsk?"
Starsky sniffed the air too and said, "I can smell the fish that man caught too. I never would have noticed that before."
They stayed on the beach for hours trying to smell and hear things they never noticed before. Starsky made a game out of it. Who could smell or hear something the other couldn't. Only Starsky could make a fun game out of something like Hutch's loss of sight. Hutch always knew that they shared a special kind of friendship but today he realized that if his eyesight never returned that friendship would never change.
Hutch could feel the sun on his face earlier but that warmth was leaving now and he knew it was getting dark. "Starsk?"
"Yeah, Buddy?"
"Describe it."
Starsky knew Hutch wanted him to describe the sun as it was setting on the ocean. "It's beautiful, Hutch. The sky is full of bright pinks and pastel colors. There are a few clouds in the sky and I can see what's left of the sun's rays beaming through them. Some of the clouds are outlined in a pretty silver color. I always thought that sunsets this magnificent must be God playing with water colors."
"God playing with water colors, I like that." Hutch let go of the railing and said, "Let's go to Huggy's now, okay?"
Huggy was very happy to see Starsky and Hutch as they walked in. Starsky held onto Hutch's arm and guided him to their regular booth. Huggy had Anita bring them their usual beers as they sat down. "Man it's good to see you. Hutch how's it going?"
"It's going, Hug. It's going. I still can't see anything but the doctor says it's still too soon. I'm taking it one day at a time."
"What's your pleasure tonight gents, cause this one's on me?"
"It's good to see you up and back at work," Hutch said as he felt around for his beer. Starsky put Hutch's hand on the cold glass. Huggy shook his head. It made him sad to see Hutch blind.
"Don't do it, Hug."
"Don't what, Hutch?"
"Feel sorry for me. I don't need that, okay? Just be your normal self, please."
"Well, in that case, don't forget you owe me thirty-five dollars for last month's tab."
Hutch picked up his beer and said, "That's more like it. Besides I bet by the end of next week I'll being seeing your ugly face again."
"I hope so, Hutch."
