Hello, I've been gone for a long time but I'm back now. The rewrite had been a long painful process but I eventually just push past it after being hurled one thing after another by life. I've actually rewrote things over and over again, trying to find the best way to convey it but I realised that I'm actually getting nowhere. Even though there's a lot of things I'm not happy with the way I've written certain scenes and structured the chapters but I realised that it's good enough and it's time to move on to the next scene.
After all, there's lots to tell with this story and I should just let go and have fun while I write it.
While I still can't guarantee a fixed update, I'll be updating more frequently as I can.
Thank you for being patient with me. I hope that I can see this story to its completion.
PS. You might want to read from the first or second chapter again (the first is still kind of the same I think) because I've changed quite a bit of the scenes and hopefully, it will be more comprehensive and maybe flow better than before.
9th Night
Under the Darkness of the Night
Time passes by so fast that I could barely catch it with my fingers. It went, hour by hour, day by day, almost like clockwork. Wake up, bathe, eat, synchro testing and sleep. It comes one after the other in a monotonous manner until I felt like I was a hamster on a wheel. Constantly running forward but never getting anywhere.
Or more accurately, a puppet on strings.
What infuriated me most of all was the pillars of Innocence. Even just thinking about those monstrosity sent the hairs on my arms rising. Even without closing my eyes, I could still recall the electrifyingly sharp pain and the phantom whispers in my ears. If they were trying to say something to me I rather they said it already, instead of barbecuing me and passive aggressively scream-whisper at me.
And the thing that annoyed me most, was two things! Alma's endless meddling and Yu's irritating behaviour! Even the way he breathed grinds my nerves and sometimes, I'm not even sure why!
"Qin, do the singy singy thing you did last time!" Alma tries to hold down a trashing Kanda.
"Nu-uh. No way," Folding my arms, I looked away, jutting my chin out.
"Why not?" Alma yelled, this voice muffled as he remembered to keep his tone down, "You did it last time. What makes this time any different?"
"Because! He does this almost every night! I barely get to sleep anymore!"
"It's not like you sleep anyways," Alma grumbled under his breath and caught my gaze, "Yes, I noticed. It's not like you mumble to yourself every night about pancakes and ice cream, whatever those are and for heavens sake, Mr Sandman, come and do your job and take me to dreamland already!"
I flushed. Maybe next time, I should keep my mumbles to myself.
"Qin, please, please, please."
"Nope."
"With a cherry on top?"
"No."
"With cherry and mayonnaise on top?"
"Gawd no!"
"Then what do you want from me? Ack!" He barely avoided getting cobbled.
"You do it!"
"Yu can't do it! He's the one trashing about! I don't think he even have half a mind to sing to himself right now!"
"No! I meant you," I jutted my finger at Alma, "You sing it, yourself."
His eyes grew wide and his mouth formed an 'O' as he finally realises what I had said. And then as if breaking the spell over him, he shook his head furiously and protests, "Wait! I can't sing! The last time I sang, Yu nearly punch my teeth off."
"Not my problem."
"He's your friend!"
"For the record, he's your friend. Not mine."
"Qin!"
"Fine, if you're not going to do it, I'm going to poke him till he wakes up."
"Qin, wait! No!"
No sooner than my finger sunk into Yu's cheek, his leg swung vehemently at me and I found myself flying across the room, crashing into the wall, rattling shelves and knocking over bandages from a nearby table. Oh…That was a very, very, very bad idea. Groaning, I slowly pick myself off, swearing that there's going to be a fancy new bruise the next day.
"Ugh…remind me to never do that again."
"I told you it was a bad idea!" Alma hissed, wrestling with Yu's limbs, "Besides, I already tried that."
"Wait…are you telling me that you poke him?"
Even under the veil of darkness, I could tell that he was blushing with embarassment.
"And he ninja kick you to that very same spot?"
He didn't have to say a word, the expression on his face said everything and I couldn't help but to snicker. He bristled, turning to look at me with a look stuck between pleading and a glare, "Stop laughing and come help me already!"
"Fine," Giving up, I went closer and sang, softly brushing away the strands of hair from Yu's face, all the while thinking that his hair is so grimy and could really use a nice wash. Or even better, a trim.
No sooner than I thought about that, Yu's eyes snapped wide open and he jolted upright, slamming his forehead into mine. The reaction was instant, I dropped to the ground like a sack of rock and cradled my forehead in pain. That boy have one hard head. What the hell was it made off? Rock Coconut?
Alma reached out to help me. I held my hand out and rolled away, "Nope. Nope. You've done enough."
I couldn't help but to whine a little.
Why am I always the one hurt in these kind of situations?
"Ugh…remind me to get a tranquilliser next time."
"For what?" Alma blinked, "To put you to sleep?"
"No, to put you to sleep!"
"You both are noisy," And Kanda even have the guts to be irritated.
"I don't want to hear that from you! Zip it," I scrambled to my feet, I reached out and pulled my blanked, wrapping it around me and headed towards the door.
"Where are you going, Qin?" Alma ran after me.
"Out! To be alone," I tilted my head backwards, "So don't you dare follow me."
"But-"
"No buts"
Rushing out, I closed the door behind me and took off down the dimly lit hallways of Laboratory 9. The heavy silence of the night was occasionally broken by the light sound of my footfalls. I couldn't remember when was the last time that I was truly alone. Since I've gotten here, I've been surrounded by scientists and Alma and Kanda…never having time for myself. And it feels liberating.
Reaching the doors to the Cold Containment Chamber, I gently pushed the door open and slip through, closing it as softly as I could, so I wouldn't wake anyone. Cold air, attacked me from head to toe, and my breaths came in puffs. Pulling the blanket tighter around myself, I started to walk, step by step, letting no thoughts flow in my mind and only concentrating on the noises in the air, the humming of the condenser similar to those when you open a fridge, the soft steps of my footsteps, my light breathing and the crinkling of my clothes.
It's really strange to think that not too long ago, I was a somewhat normal college student trying my best to stay afloat with deadlines, friends, family and just life in general and now…I'm a kid again…but not just any kind of kid…a Second Exorcist of all things. I have no idea why I was brought to this world. I mean, there must be a reason for everything, right? I softly scoff at such an optimistic view. There's never a guarantee that there's a reason for everything. But I couldn't help but want there to be.
If there wasn't…it would all be for nothing.
"Oh…" I looked down and realised that I'm gripping my wrist too tight, leaving angry red marks on pale skin.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, letting my frustrations go.
It wouldn't do me any good to get so tangled up anyways. I already have more than enough problems on my plate. Like how to make sure that the scientists never realised that I still have my memories of my past life and I'm actually from another world, how to stop getting barbecued by the pillars of Innocence each and every time and how to get home and get back to my life.
I pushed myself forward to continue the walk even though my mood had dampened.
There's not much I can do during the night. It wasn't like I could fall asleep anyways. Even if I did…I sunk to my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs. I rather I don't dream. It was one thing to have dreams about your family, it was another when you can't see them again and even worse, when you realised that you've forgotten many things about them. I couldn't recall clearly what they looked like, only sensations…and the worse part was…I couldn't even remember their names.
…I can't even remember my own name…my real name.
It almost feels like I've lost a part of myself, lost a part of my identity. Glancing down, I saw the stranger staring back at me from my reflection. Blue eyes, pale blonde hair and a pale face…I looked nothing like myself. I dipped my fingers into the water, sending ripples that chased my reflection away.
Shaking my hand dry, I stood up and kicked debris…doing just anything to get rid of the burning frustration inside me.
"Ahhh! Why can't things be easy for once?"
The pebble bounced across the floor and went plopped into the water. I paled. Rushing forward, I threw myself to my knees, hissing as the engravings dug into my skin, but I didn't care, pressing my hands to the edges, I looked down…to see an empty pool of water. Slumping, I let out a sigh of relief. For a moment, I half expected to see another Second Exorcist pissed off that I awakened it with a pebble to the noggin. Thank goodness, nothing like that happens. I'll probably be driven to insanity if I have to deal with anymore problems.
Wait…
I glanced around, a sneaking suspicion started taking over my senses. I don't remember mine or Alma's or Kanda's sleeping pod being this close to the altars… I looked around again, confirming what I first thought. No way, this was ours. Standing back up, I started walking around the Cold Containment Chamber, counting the number of empty pods.
One…Two…Three…
Four…Five…Six…Seven…?
I paused, rubbing my chin in deep thought. So we weren't the first. There had been others before us…or… I looked around, rubbing my arms, feeling creeped out all of a sudden. It was one thing to come to the conclusion that others had awoken before us…but it's another creepier thought that someone might've awakened without anyone else knowing. What if they're awakened now…and is just hiding and watching...Even if the creepier thought feel far fetched, it was still a terrifying thought. I couldn't bring myself to stay in the Cold Containment Chamber anymore.
Making a beeline towards the door, I ran out and slammed the door shut. To hell with all this, I took off down the hallway, filled with intention to get back to the room where I at least felt safe.
"Wow, Qin had been gone for quite a while," Alma twiddled his thumbs.
"Hnn…" And there goes another one of those…again.
Alma chuckled softly to himself, totally at lost at what to say. On one hand, he wanted to grumble at Qin and why the hell would she leave him alone like this and on the other hand, he shamefully admitted to himself that he was acting a tad bit like a coward…especially when it concerns Yu. None of this was Qin's fault. In fact, it might been his own. He had been using Qin as somewhat as a buffer and a shield when it comes towards Yu. Even after that day when he and Yu became some sort of friends, Alma still felt extremely nervous when it comes to spending time with him.
Which was the reason why he dragged Qin along whenever he could (which was all the time) and why he don't even have the courage to wake Yu up from the nightmare himself…
A twinge of guilt built up in his heart.
It wasn't fair to Qin. Maybe it was time…time for him to finally face his fear. Who knows, maybe Yu is a secret chatter box at heart? At the very worst, he would just receive a punch to the face or a bodyslam and that's all. Nothing that Alma can't handle.
"Haha…Nothing I can't handle…" When he said it out loud, it was even less convincing.
"Why are you mumbling about over there?" Kanda narrowed his eyes at Alma.
"Nothing! Nothing," Alma waved his hand frantically about, "Just uh…wondering how are you feeling?"
Yu looked straight down at the blanket with that steely look of his that Alma had to wonder was he mad at the blanket (looked almost like he wants to set it on fire) or was he mad at him for asking that question. Yeah, the blanket. He's mad at the blanket. Alma didn't want to think that Yu was mad at him.
"Did you…" Alma bit his lip, already knowing that it won't go well, "Did you see that lady, again?"
Yu's face grew so dark and scary that Alma recoiled, waving his arms up in surrender, "Ack! I won't ask again! How about we talk about something else instead?"
"What…?"
"Huh?" Alma blinked.
"Talk about what?" Yu replied a little louder.
Alma was so surprised that he replied without thinking, "Mayonnaise?"
Yu's eyes narrowed and Alma instantly took it back, "Ah! No mayo. No mayo. How about something else instead…like…like…reading?"
Alma rushed to his own bed, digging his arm into the pillow, "Doctor Edgar and the others borrowed me a few books. Some are like cool, pretty stories. I think you would like them…"
Bingo! Alma pulled his arm out of a pillow in success, revealing a hard covered book only to realised with utter horror and embarrassment when the title read '101 recipe for Mayonnaise'. Chuckling nervously and throwing it aside, Alma mumbled, "Maybe not this one," and continued to plunder the underneath of his pillow and finally pull out the book that he wanted, "It's the one."
Bouncing over, he ran towards Yu, handing the book onto his lap, beaming brightly, "I think you would love this one, Yu. Give it a go."
Alma watched Yu with expectant eyes as the boy hesitantly picked up the book and flipped it open almost painfully deliberative, stare at the page and the seconds passed by almost painfully for the both of them. And then Alma realised that something was not quite right. Yu was just staring and staring at the same page, unmoving.
"Uhhh, Yu…Is something wrong?"
"…" Yu refused to meet his eyes.
"…" Alma stared…and the realisation dropped on him like a ton of bricks, "Yu…you can't read, can you?"
"…" Oh…The silence says it all. If that wasn't enough, the expression on Yu's face was more than clear enough.
"Then let's read it together!" Without waiting, Alma climbed up into Yu's bed, half expecting himself to be pushed off the bed but to his surprise it never happened. He turned to beam at Yu, "Come on, it'll be fun!"
To Alma's surprise, they ended up having a good time. And for the first time since they had become somewhat friends, Alma felt like they were becoming closer.
I peeked down the left hallway, down the right hallway and to the hallway behind me. Oh no…I'm lost. It took me long enough to admit to myself that I had taken the wrong turn somewhere back there. And I couldn't even tell that I was lost at first, everything looked the same. But as I stared at the unfamiliar path in front of me, I'm starting to feel unsettled.
I thought by now, I would have the place completely memorised. Apparently, I was wrong.
Taking a step back, I wanted to retrace my steps backwards, and maybe by some kind of luck, I might find a way back or run into one of the Golems or Scientists to take me back to the room. I walked swiftly, taking twists and turns with my arms wrapped around one another, trying to keep the creepy feeling of silence and darkness at bay.
Come on. Come on.
I never thought I'd be so eager to return back to that room. But now, I'm even starting to regret leaving it. Stomping my feet childishly on the ground, I silently cursed at my own stupidity. It felt like I've been walking around in circles. Reaching the end of the hallway, I peeked forward…and once again I was nowhere near where I want to be.
"Great…Just great…"
At this point I was tired and continue forward, hoping that I would just run into anyone…even Sirlin Epstein would be a blessing at this point. The darker and morbid side of my mind however, wondered if I was going to be stuck here in the hallways for an eternity. I shook my head hard, knocking the thought right off…and nearly tripped…on a large rock on the ground…which I wondered how the hell did I miss that?
Returning back to the centre of gravity, I stared at the scene before me. Tapes blocking off entrance to a door completely bent out of shape like some kind of monster with super strength yanked it open and trashed everything inside. From the wide gap, I could see overturned beds, bloodied pillows and shattered pieces of furnitures. It was like an entrance to a horror carnival…which I'm definitely not going anywhere near.
I turned and was prepared to fun for the hills when I slammed straight into a warm body.
"Oh," The body spoke, "Is that you, Qin?"
Looking up, I recognised Zu immediately. Relief washed through my entire system and I felt like my entire knees was going to buckle. I was half concerned by what he was doing wandering around at this hour in the night but my relief was so overpowering that I am completely willing to overlook it. As long as I get to go back to familiar lands.
"What are you doing here, wandering so far away from your room?"
"I got lost."
He stared at the room behind me and an incomprehensible look crossed his face. A look that I couldn't even begin to decipher. Sighing, he offered me his hand and willingly I took it and he led me down the hallway once more. The majority of the walk was silent, not even a silver of conversation took place and to be honest, I was relieved. There was so many things that I wanted to talk about but it would get me killed and I have a feeling that he have lots of questions that he would ask (casually or not) but I wouldn't be able to answer.
And before I knew it, we were in front of the room.
"Go on," Zu released my hand, "Get a good night rest and forget what you've seen tonight. It's best not to tell anyone that you've been wandering around in the dead of night."
Nodding, I opened the door and entered the room, the familiar surroundings brought great relief to me and I felt wave after wave of tiredness in my bones. I stared at the two figures sleeping against each other on Kanda's bed and shook my head. At least they had a better time than me tonight. Sighing, I headed to my bed but even as I sunk under the covers. I couldn't sleep.
My mind kept trailing back to the empty pods that I've found and the wrecked bloody room. Even though I tried my best to pass the days with lightness and humour, it was the small things like these that reminded me of the darkness that played in the backdrop of this world.
And even if I closed my eyes, none of it would fade away.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Even if unseen, it's not forgotten.
What do you think?
This is more of a warm up practice than anything. The story is going to gain more structure and momentum in the next chapter as Qin dive deeper into actually doing things and contemplating deeply on what she would have to do and what she would've have to choose before that time comes. I also want to include more of Alma and Kanda's relationship (because I want them to feel like real friends) and I want to include more of the side characters (such as the scientists and Zu and so on) because they play quite a huge role on this arc.
Hopefully, I can unfold the story in an interesting and fun way.
That's all for now.
I hope you all have a wonderful time and remember to take things easy once in a while and take care of your health :)
