Chapter Nine

Sitting back in his chair with his feet on his desk, Jack thought about what he was going to say. Most people assumed he was impulsive to the point of being dangerous, blurting out whatever thoughts he had at the moment. When it came to flirting, that was often true, though he had enough of a filter to usually avoid getting smacked. When it was important, when it mattered, Jack could be thoughtful. And he knew that he needed to be careful speaking to Martha, because he wanted to be considerate of Ianto's feelings—and Jack didn't want Martha asking him too many questions either.

He dialed her direct number at UNIT, as he both wanted to get it over with and wanted to get Tosh and Ianto help without involving anyone else. After several rings, she picked up.

"Jack!" she exclaimed. "How are you?"

He smiled, instantly feeling better just hearing her voice. He hadn't spent much time with Martha Jones, but she was one of the smartest and fiercest people he knew. If anyone outside the Hub could help, it would be Martha. Her travels with the Doctor, her year walking the earth, and her work with UNIT made her uniquely qualified to deal with anything from alien viruses to the end of the world. Jack liked her and trusted her and hoped more than anything that she would have some sort of insight into their problem.

"I'm doing well," Jack answered, and they chatted for several minutes about inconsequential things like Gwen's wedding, the holidays, and Martha's boyfriend. Things weren't going as smoothly as last time he'd seen her, but she seemed reluctant to talk about it.

"I'm still trying to work it out in my own head," she replied. "Thanks for asking, though. So, what's really going on, since I suspect this isn't a social call?"

"How do you know that?" Jack asked. "Maybe I wanted to hear your voice."

"You called me directly at work," she pointed out. "I'm guessing you don't want to officially involve UNIT, but need something to do with them?"

"You're too smart," Jack laughed. "Yes, it's a Torchwood issue, but no, not one for UNIT. I'm looking for … I don't know, advice. Insight. Ideas. You have more experience than half of UNIT combined, so I'm hoping maybe it's something you've seen or heard of."

"Oh, it's a Doctor thing," she said.

"No, not exactly," Jack said. "But maybe–you traveled the galaxy with him, after all. Been there, done that."

"And left it all behind," she said. "I came back, like you did. So what do you think I might have seen or heard of?"

He took a deep breath and told her about the device the others had found in the park on Friday and how it had affected Tosh and Ianto, though he did not tell her about their specific memory loss. He told her about the second device and the twelve people also suffering memory loss. And he told her everything they'd done to try and help, from their tests and records searches to Owen's meeting with Benjamin Howell. She listened quietly, occasionally asking questions, but otherwise letting him talk. When he was finished, she took a moment before speaking.

"I haven't come across anything like what you're describing with UNIT," she said, sounding reluctant to admit it. "Either the device itself or the memory loss. But somehow it sounds familiar."

She went silent again, as if thinking, and Jack had to prompt her. "Did you maybe read about it somewhere? Or hear about it?"

"No, I don't know where I would have read about it…" Jack could almost picture her pacing, phone to her ear as she wracked her own memories for any references. "I think maybe…yes, that's it…the Doctor once made an offhand comment about something similar. Oh, maybe this will help you!" She started to sound excited.

"Well, stop teasing me, let me have it," Jack told her, putting his feet down, grabbing a sheet of paper and a pen, and tucking the phone under his ear. "I'm taking notes."

"Right, we were at some space station in the Gamma cluster, and the Doctor was telling me about all the alien species in the room. He pointed to one behind the bar and said that they made the best barkeeps and the best psychotherapists in the galaxy. They were from Datiris, I remember that."

"Okay, I've heard of them," Jack said. "Not had much contact with them, bit out of my time, but what makes you think it's connected?"

"Well, I made a comment about them being good barkeeps and therapists because they could probably listen and sympathize with whomever they were talking to. And he went on in that way he has, prattling about a dozen different things, but one thing sticks out. He said they were good therapists not only because they could listen, but because they could take away bad memories with the flick of a switch."

"So can I," Jack pointed out. "It's called Retcon."

"I suggested that maybe people shouldn't have bad memories taken away, and he agreed, said he wouldn't part with his, and he had hundreds of years' worth of bad memories. He told me that it was a form of therapy on Datiris, that the memories weren't erased, but temporarily blocked. After the patient worked through their issues without the emotional interference attached to the memories, they could assimilate the memories back in and reprocess them from a more objective viewpoint. It sounded a bit strange, to be honest."

Jack was writing furiously, his heart beating faster with excitement. "But it sounds like exactly what we're looking for! Owen said the memories are still there, but being blocked. Ianto suggested that very thing, that maybe it was a therapy device for treatment. Brilliant – both of you!"

"I knew he was clever," Martha laughed. "So maybe what you found was an Datiran device that's blocked their memories. But Jack, what kind of memories were lost? If it's a therapeutic device, there are probably different settings for different memories and trauma."

Jack hesitated; he didn't want to tell her too much at the risk of embarrassing Tosh and Ianto. On the other hand, he knew they both liked and trusted Martha, and both of them supported him calling her for any help she could offer. If he were honest, he was more worried about her reaction to him than her reaction to Tosh and Ianto.

"The memories they've lost…" He took a breath and pushed on. "They don't remember any of their past relationships. All the people affected have forgotten their spouses, their partners, their lovers—anyone they've had a relationship with. They're not even aware of it, but everyone around them is."

"Oh no," Martha said, sounding shocked. "Why would someone create a device that does such a thing? That's horrible!"

"If it's for therapy, it makes sense. Take away the memories of a bad relationship, talk through the issues, then work them back in to process them better. The problem is that it took the memories of all of their relationships, and both devices are completely ruined. We have no way to bring back those memories."

"You said that Owen found a doctor," Martha pointed out. "I recognize the name, he worked with UNIT before I joined. Did he have any suggestions?"

"Hypnosis," Jack told her. "But not everyone wants to undergo intensive hypnosis sessions." He didn't tell her Ianto hated the idea of someone in his head, since that was volunteering too much information.

"If the memories are being blocked, then hypnosis might be able to recover them," Martha said, though she sounded unsure. "Difficult memories from childhood or other traumatic events are often repressed and discovered under hypnosis. Has Ianto tried it yet?"

"Tosh did, but not Ianto," Jack said, leaving it at that. He could almost hear Martha smile.

"He doesn't seem like the type who'd want to see a psychiatrist."

"Got it in one," Jack laughed. "But he will. He wants to beat this."

"Jack…" Martha hesitated. "If Ianto has lost all his relationship memories, does that mean he's forgotten about…well, about you and him?"

Jack nodded even though she couldn't see him, then blew out a breath in frustration. "Yes, he's forgotten. He has no memory of anything between us since I got back—or before that. He was pretty surprised, actually."

"Oh Jack," she said, and there was the pity he had been dreading. Yes, Jack felt terrible, but Ianto was the one who had forgotten so much of his past. That was what mattered, not Jack's disappointment over sleeping alone.

"It's fine," he told her before she could say anything else. "I'm keeping my distance since he was more than a little shocked by it."

"I'm so sorry," she said. "I can't imagine how difficult this must be for both of you."

"I'm okay," he told her. "I'm not the one who lost my memory."

"But he's forgotten you," she said. "It must be so hard, working with someone you're dating but doesn't remember ever dating you."

Jack didn't answer. What could he say? It was awful and he hated it, but wasn't that selfish? To be upset because he couldn't touch and kiss and flirt with Ianto on the job? Because he had to eat and sleep alone? He still remembered their time together, after all. Ianto had forgotten everything they'd ever done—their first kiss, their first date, New Year's Eve. At least Jack had his memories, which is all he ever would have in the end. He should be grateful.

"Jack," Martha said, drawing him out of his gloom. "You'll get through this, and he'll remember everything you've been through together, the good and the bad. And you can take him out and celebrate and—"

"Martha, it's not like that," Jack started, but she interrupted.

"Yes, yes, Ianto called it dabbling. But it was pretty clear from my time there that it was more, and that was three months ago! I saw how you looked at him, Jack—and I saw how he looked at you, especially after Owen died. He cares about you, and that's still in there. You'll get it back."

"How?" Jack said, ignoring everything else she'd said and giving in to his despair for a moment. "We've done everything we can think of."

"Well, you have a lead now," she replied. "And we happen to know someone who knows even more about these things—and could quite possibly get us one of these devices."

"I know we do, but he's not going to rush to the rescue for something like this," Jack said. "The Doctor saves planets, not people."

"Oh, I think he saves people," Martha said. "He prefers the big picture, yes, and he can make the tough calls when it comes to sacrifice, but the small losses hit him as hard as the big ones. I could call him if you want."

"Gwen suggested it, too," Jack admitted. "Thought we needed to go higher up. Let me look into this Datiran connection first."

"It's just a phone call," she said. "Maybe he knows something else that would help."

"And maybe not," Jack said. He decided to voice his biggest reservation, something he might have confessed to Ianto, but Ianto did not remember their closeness, and so Jack had no one to talk to. "Look, I appreciate the offer, but I want to try and get this on my own first. What if he says no? He already abandoned me once, even if it was a hundred and forty years ago. It's not something I want to experience again."

"You think if you ask him for help, he'll reject you?" Martha asked.

"I think he knows things we don't know," Jack hedged. "That there are usually reasons for why he does the things he does. That this might not be a big enough reason to come charging in with the TARDIS."

"I suppose you have a point," Martha admitted. "But I also think you're selling yourself short. He'd do almost anything for you, Jack. He was disappointed when you wanted to come back to Earth instead of travel. You know that."

"Maybe," Jack said. "We parted on good terms, but I guess this thing with Tosh and Ianto has me rattled. Brought back some uncomfortable memories."

"You mean Ianto," she said, understanding immediately. "He didn't reject you, Jack. He didn't leave you behind. You are still there, in his mind, in his heart. I don't think Ianto would ever do what the Doctor did."

"That's one reason this is so hard," Jack said quietly. He turned away from the window and closed his eyes. "I know it's different, yet it feels so similar. I've spent a lot of my life going through this and it gets old after a while. So hold off on calling the Doctor."

"What are you going to do instead?" she asked.

"I'm going to put my team on it, to start—we have a name, we can do another search. I'll head down to the Silos later today and see if they've heard of it, or know anything that might help."

"What's the Silos again?" she asked. "And should we be keeping an eye on it?"

"We've got it covered," Jack said, smiling at her professional curiosity. "It's a Cardiff thing, and we don't need UNIT blundering in, thank you very much."

"But what is it again?" she pressed.

"Alien goods warehouse," Jack told her. "Totally underground, only the local refugee population uses it, and we keep a close eye on it."

"I hope you find something then," she said. "Call me if you don't and you decide to contact the Doctor."

"I will," Jack promised. "But we're going to do our damnedest to figure this out on our own first. Any chance you might come by and help out?"

She sighed. "Sorry, Jack, but I'm heading to New York tomorrow. Interview for a new project."

"Sounds intriguing," he said. "As long as you're not running away from whatever is or isn't going on with Tom."

"I'm not," she said. "I wasn't even going to take the interview, but they need a medical doctor, and he thinks it would be a great opportunity."

"Good luck," Jack told her, meaning it. "Fill me in when you can."

"Good luck to you," she returned. "And keep me updated. I'll try to see if I can find anything on my end about Datiran technology, but I doubt it. I'm glad I remembered a passing reference from over a year ago!"

"You've been a big help," Jack told her. "And it was good to talk to you. Thank you."

"Hang in there, Jack," she said. "Give Ianto my best and remember, he still cares about you. You'll figure this out."

"Thanks," he said, and after a few more promises to stay in touch, he hung up. He felt both better and worse—worse because Martha had picked up on his insecurities almost immediately, and he hated feeling vulnerable. Yet he felt better because now he had a lead: if the device was Datiran, they could search for specific references to it in the database, and he could take it back out to his contacts on the streets and at the Silos. It would be a miracle if they had one, but perhaps they would know how to secure one, or someone might know how it worked. Of course, it was not only technology from another planet, but almost certainly tech from out of their time, so it would be much harder. Not for the first time, Jack wished his wrist strap still worked. If he could time travel, he could pick one up and be back for dinner.

But he couldn't time travel, he couldn't even teleport. So he settled for the next best thing: a visit to the Silos, Cardiff's answer to Trap Street. Founded as an underground marketplace for alien and exotic goods, it had grown into a sort of refugee resettlement community, where most of the off-world population of Wales came to meet, trade goods and stories, and offer mutual support.

Now that he had a name, Jack hoped the Silos could, at the very least, point him toward a solution—if not a working device to bring back Tosh and Ianto's memories.


Author's Note:
I may have mentioned the Silos in other stories, and I developed it more (and Aran as well) in an abandoned opening to a story called Shadows. So it's real, and at least Aran gets to make his debut here. And if that other story ever goes anywhere, don't be surprised to see some of the background for the Silos appear again! Dr. Howell also appeared in another story, and the references to New Year's Eve are about a story I wrote several years ago as well. Thanks for reading!