This is set on the day after the end of Sleeper. Gwen and Jack are alone in the Hub ..


Reflections

It was quiet in the Hub even though it was the middle of the morning. The equipment made odd noises and Myfanwy rustled overhead but that was all. The two people in the vast space made no noise at all. Gwen Cooper was staring into space, unable to work. She thought back over the previous day which had been full of action, unlike today which was pedestrian by comparison. Her thoughts returned to Beth Halloran whom she had liked and whose courage she admired. She had acted nobly - Gwen could think of no other word - throughout her ordeal and especially in sacrificing herself at the end. Gwen sighed and her gaze roamed the Hub and came to rest on Jack Harkness, sitting in his office rubbing his temples.

She shivered, not because she was cold but from the memory of the drive back to the Hub. Gwen had had to drive with Beth in the back and Jack in the passenger seat, slowly dying. The wound from the alien arm-spike-thing had caused serious internal bleeding and he had gradually lost consciousness and expired beside her. It was horrible to watch even though she knew he would revive in due course. Much worse than the first time when he had been shot in the head; that had been quick and clean.

He had revived, of course, and had made light of the episode as he always did. But she wondered if it really was that easy. She recalled him saying, when he come back after abandoning them for months, that he had died many deaths and that it was like … what was the exact phrase? Ah yes, like being hauled over broken glass. Maybe he was suffering now. Like delayed shock or something.

Making a decision, she got up and walked to Jack's office, her footsteps loud in the silence. "Jack? You okay?"

He looked up and smiled gently, his hands falling to rest on the desk. "Yeah, thanks," he said but he didn't look it. He looked pale and tired.

"I don't believe you." She stood in front of the desk, her gaze fixed on his and challenging him to tell her the truth.

"Okay, I have a headache. It'll go eventually."

"Want a painkiller?"

"Yeah, I think I do." He made to get up but she waved him down.

"I'll get it." In the Medical Bay she got out a pack of ordinary and one of high-strength pills and made a detour to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. She picked up a beer for herself at the same time. Back in the office she handed Jack the water. "Ordinary or the super-duper ones?" she asked, holding out the pills.

"Ordinary will do, thanks." He took the pack and pushed the pills out into his palm before swallowing them with a swig from the water bottle.

Gwen sat down, put the remaining pills on the desk and opened her beer. She took a mouthful and looked at her boss. "This happen every time?"

Jack looked over at her. She had acted well throughout the previous day, establishing a bond with Beth and thereby helping the woman make the decisions that had helped them defeat the rest of the cell. She'd not panicked at the military base nor when held captive. He was impressed yet again at how she had developed from the rather naïve WPC she had been when they'd first met. However, it looked like this incident had affected her rather more than all she had experienced so far and that, despite their chat the night before, she still had issues to be worked through.

"It's worse when it's a slow death, the effects linger a lot longer. Give me a bullet to the head any day," he joked. He took another drink of water, grateful the pills were beginning to work.

"I hadn't realised. You never say anything, never make a fuss about it."

"I'm used to it. Anyway, it freaks people out enough when I revive without going into all the gory details."

"Tell me, Jack. I want to know." She leant forward. "I want to understand what it's like."

Jack watched her for a moment, considering whether to tell her or not. Maybe it would be good for someone else to know. Ianto knew, of course, he had worked it out for himself and made a point of helping Jack as much as he could, as much as was possible. Jack had grown used to reviving in the man's arms and missed his presence when he was not there. He'd been there the day before, had come out to the SUV to stay with him until he revived, and Jack appreciated the gesture.

"It's hard to explain. The dying part is like it would be for anyone else. You've been shot, you know what that's like."

"So you feel all the pain, the blood loss, the weakness?"

"You sound like Owen!" he said chuckling.

She sat back in her chair and smiled. "God, don't! I just remember how I felt. But what about the reviving bit? You said, when you … come back, it was like being dragged through broken glass. What does that mean?"

Jack took another drink of water and sat back in his chair. "That's the closest I can get. Every part of me … that's what it feels like."

"Must hurt."

"Yeah." He looked at her. "It hurts like hell, worse than the dying part. But what I hate most is the disorientation. I never know where I am or what I'll find. One time, I was in the middle of a pile of frozen corpses." He shuddered.

Gwen nodded, appreciating what his 'gift' took out of him for the first time. She took another swig of the beer. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

"Not really." It was true, nothing could assuage the pain. He had got some comfort from being with Ianto during the night; lying in his arms had taken away some of the lingering effects. "But that's not what you wanted to talk about, is it?" He watched her carefully as she sat back in her seat, avoiding eye contact.

"Last night I got to thinking about what happened. Maybe I was a bit optimistic, you know, about us being ready for them." She had been positive they would be able to defeat Cell 114 the night before which she now put down to the relief at having prevented nuclear meltdown. But in the early hours of the morning, when she had been lying beside Rhys unable to sleep, that confidence had disappeared.

"We are ready for them," assured Jack. "But it won't be easy to defeat them, Gwen, it never is. We got lucky this time. Beth helped us so much and that was down to you. You connected with her, made her hang on to her humanity. You did a good job."

"But next time?" Gwen shook her head, "I don't believe we can rely on luck to defeat them."

"Of course not. But we have Tosh working on a large scale scanner for disabling their transmitters and force fields. And Owen's getting to grips with the bio-weaponry. They're both good, you know that, they'll come up with the goods and we'll be better equipped that we were yesterday."

"Maybe."

Jack regarded her steadily. "This isn't like you, Gwen. You're my up-and-at-'em girl." He narrowed his eyes and looked at with mock-seriousness. "Have you been possessed by a Beirmoth?"

"What's that when it's at home?"

"The most pessimistic being I have ever met!"

"You are daft, sometimes," she replied, smiling.

"Only sometimes?" Jack pulled a face. "I'm losing my touch." He paused then said, "Seriously, this isn't like you."

She looked down at her hands, twisting the now empty beer bottle around as she sought to find words to describe how she felt. Facing Cell 114 had frightened her. All the other weirdness she had seen in the past year had not affected this way, she had been able to rationalise it away. But these aliens had been living in the city, holding down jobs, married and thinking of having kids and never knowing they were sleeper agents. To all intents and purposes they had been human, no one could have proved differently. Until they were activated and turned into killing machines.

"They frightened me, Jack," she said at last. "If the threat comes from out there," she waved vaguely, "we have a chance of seeing it coming. But this lot? They were here already, hidden away. Who's to say there aren't others?"

"We got the whole cell, Gwen. There's not more –"

"I don't mean this lot," she interrupted, leaning forward and looking earnestly at him. "There must be other aliens that can do that. That hide themselves away and then pop up out of nowhere. They could be anywhere."

"It's possible," he admitted slowly, wondering how best to reassure her. "But looking at everyone around you as a potential threat is the first step to paranoia and madness. It won't help anyone and it certainly won't stop whatever's coming." He got up and moved round the desk, perching on the edge close to her. "Believe me, we've got enough to worry about with the ones we can see."

"I suppose." She sighed. "Tell me, Jack, tell me there are some good aliens out there."

He smiled. "Oh, there's lot of good ones. Did I never tell you about the time I –" He was interrupted by the Rift alarm. ""Uh oh." He was on his feet and out of the office immediately, Gwen on his heels. At Toshiko's workstation he checked the readings. "Weevils in Roath." He turned to Gwen, a grin on his face, "Care to join me in a Weevil hunt, Ms Cooper?"

"Try and stop me!" She was also grinning. Weevils were one alien she understood completely. They were nasty, vicious and smelly but they never pretended to be anything they were not and you could spot them a mile off. For that she was very grateful.

The two grabbed their guns, coats and a Weevil kit and were off at a run. As they shot through the Tourist Office, Jack shouted, "Weevils!" to Ianto and both he and Gwen disappeared out of the door. They were two people doing what they loved best: running and keeping the city safe.


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