I wake up to the feel of someone nuzzling their face into my neck and sliding an arm around my midsection. Lips press against my neck briefly, and a lazy sigh is followed by, "You were amazing last night."
I don't recognize the voice, so I roll away from whoever the hell is trying to snuggle with me, groaning as I press my face into my pillow.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"Get the fuck out," I mumble, pulling the covers up over my head.
"What?"
"Leave," I repeat harshly, hoping it isn't too muffled.
"But…I thought we had a connec-"
"No," I cut in curtly, tightening my grip on the blankets and squeezing my eyes shut while simultaneously gritting my teeth. "Just go. Please."
It's common knowledge to me by now that Aiden wants a relationship, and every guy at my school is constantly staring at me like a piece of meat, too. And now, apparently one-night stands aren't what they used to be anymore. I can't even have a decent fuck without being questioned about it the next morning.
Why does everyone want something from me all of a sudden?
Spencer comes to my mind almost immediately, and I can nearly automatically conjure up an image of her looking at me with those bright, blue, obliviously innocent nonjudgmental eyes that I almost just want to drown in…
"Fuck," I mutter to myself, stretching my arm out from beneath the blankets and feeling around on my nightstand until my fingers close around my phone. Luckily, whoever I was just in bed with has taken the hint and left, so I roll back over onto my back and sit up, running a hand through my hair before finally turning my attention to my cell phone.
One new text. From Spencer.
"You aren't hereL. Are you okay?"
It was sent over three hours ago, around nine. Right around the time second period starts.
That's kind of adorable.
Dammit!
I groan again and toss my phone onto my bed, refusing to let myself reply to Spencer's text and heading downstairs to find Maria. I'm kind of hungry.
Luckily, Maria seems to pick up on that relatively quickly, and already has eggs and toast prepared by the time I sit down at the kitchen table. "Comida?" she questions, pointing towards the food suggestively. I try to remember how to say "a little".
"Uh…un moco?"
She shoots me a confused look. I think that was wrong.
"Poco! Sorry," I offer shyly. She nods and goes to get me a plate, and now I'm kind of afraid of what I accidently just said. I'll have to look it up in one of those dictionaries or something at school. Although I'm pretty sure I'm not going to go today.
And now I'm thinking of Spencer's text again. Will she think I'm rude if I don't reply?
Oh, what I am I thinking; Spencer already knows I'm rude. And yet she still talks to me anyway…
No, no, how annoying. Yes, I can't stand those people, the ones that are…that are nice to people. Nope. They get on my nerves.
"Ugh," I groan out, attracting Maria's attention when my forehead hits the table…hard.
I have a crush, that's what it is. I have a crush on Spencer. It's small, but it's there; I can tell.
I'm a little disgusted with myself.
"Maria?" I question without moving my head, sort of hoping she's still in the room and hasn't fled by now.
"Hmm?" reaches my ears.
"Have you ever had feelings for someone you shouldn't?"
I don't get a response. Probably because she has no idea what I just said. But I'm glad she's at least trying to talk to me. She's nicer than any of the other maids I've had.
I sit up abruptly, holding up one finger to her in the universal sign for "wait a minute". Then I run up to my room and grab my laptop, taking my cell phone with me too just for the heck of it.
When I get back to the kitchen, I set my laptop down on the table and open up an online translator, setting it for English to Spanish. I type in my question again, then gesture for Maria to read. She does.
Then she laughs.
I scowl at her, looking back at the computer for a typo. There isn't one.
"Si, si!" she exclaims, seemingly fascinated with the translator.
I type in another question: "Tell me about it?"
Then I shove the laptop in her direction, making sure I've switched the settings to Spanish to English. She grins and starts typing, and although she's a slow typist, eventually I have a response I can read. "He was my boss. He had a wife that was never home. I cleaned his house and he cleaned my-"
I shoot her an incredulous look, not willing to finish that sentence aloud, and she lets out another hearty laugh. "You're no help," I tell her, closing my laptop with a huff and crossing my arms. "Go wash the dishes, Maria."
I don't think she understands that, either. But she does at least leave the room.
I grab my cell phone and reread Spencer's message.
Okay, I can totally do this. So…I have a crush on Spencer, and she has a crush on me. No big deal. She doesn't have to know. We won't cross any lines. We'll just stay friends, and I'll get over this. Maybe I could even introduce Spencer to a nice girl she can hit it off with.
Who am I kidding; I don't know any nice girls.
But still. Me and Spencer…not an option. No offense to myself or anything, but…I'm a whore. And Spencer's probably a virgin. I wear low-cut skirts and extremely deep v-necks, and Spencer wears long-sleeved shirts and skinny jeans or appropriate-length shorts. My eyes are plain brown and hers are a twinkly blue. My smiles are forced and hers are open and carefree…
Okay, when did I go from explaining our differences to complimenting Spencer? This is getting ridiculous. I'm in over my head. Maybe I should just flat-out tell her it'd be better if we weren't friends after all. Then again, yesterday… "Spencer's…she hasn't had a friend in a while."
Am I really that heartless?
Okay, yes.
But not when it comes to Spencer Carlin. I can't be that mean to her. Not after yesterday.
I end up going to school anyway, because Maria can only entertain me for so long and neither of my parents is home yet, so it's not like I have anything better to do.
I don't get there in time for lunch, and I can't help wondering if that means Spencer ate alone, or if Aiden and Madison have taken to eating with her now whether I'm there or not. I'm assuming the former is what happened, but I don't dwell on it too much. Spencer has been eating lunch alone way before we came along, so I'm sure today was totally normal for her.
Then I feel like a jerk for thinking that.
I get there halfway through fifth period, Trig, and try not to look at to her too much while I'm mumbling some lame excuse to our teacher. We sit across the room from each other, so she doesn't catch up to me until after class. "Hey, why'd you come in late today?" she questions curiously, falling into step next to me.
"Uh…I was up late last night," I reply vaguely, wondering what I'm going to say if she presses me for information.
"Oh? How come?"
Alrighty then. "Um…just doing stuff."
"What kind of stuff?" she teases lightly.
I sigh inwardly. So, one way to take care of this whole "crush" thing would be to exercise some self-control. Another way would be to get Spencer to back off. So much for being nice, I suppose. "Sex."
I pretend not to notice when she stops in her tracks. Instead, I let out a long breath and keep on walking.
Problem solved.
