Disclaimer: don't own them, Joss does

SING FOR ME YOUR SOUL (1.03.09)

"Lorne!" Fred says as she slips out of her seat and goes over to him. Lorne's mouth is opened in shock.

"Fredickins? Who… how?" Autum jumps off of the stage.

"That'd be my doing, ducky." She stares at Lorne hard.

Angel looks to her, then to Lorne, "Lorne, this is…"

"I know who she is." Lorne dismissed them, "But I've got to say, I didn't think you'd've been through all that."

"You read her?" Connor asks, looking at Lorne as if suspicious.

"Yes, and no…" Lorne looks at the girl. She's tiny, pale, brown-red hair and eyes of stone, she didn't look the way he'd thought she would. He'd expected someone… taller. "Sorry, cupcake," and he truly was. "You're only at the beginning."

"Is that so?" Autum asks, "Well, don't you think I know this? A lot left to come."

Buffy tried to sneak out while they were chatting, but found herself face to face with Spike, who placed his hand over her mouth. "You're coming with me." He tells her, before he leads her out of the room.

"I won't bloody well sing for you so nancy boy, here can give me a bit of the prod and probe." Autum snarls.

"Why not?" Riley asks her, "You keep saying we should trust you, but then you refuse to do this?"

Autum sticks out her chin and clenches her jaw as she goes to the stage, sitting once more at the piano. "Does it matter what I sing?"

"No." Lorne assures her.

Autum begins to play, and as her voice rings out, Lorne is thrown into a whirlwind.

I'm falling

I'm sinking

I can't hold on

And it scares me

1753: Autum walks down an alleyway and sees Liam fall to the ground at Darla's feet. She screams out, as she backs against a wall, clutching at the sides. Her breaths are shallow and tears run down her face. She snaps her head up and glares at Darla.

Nevermind the fact I once thought I had lost you

Nevermind the fact I once thought I lost me

Cannot hold my own without you here beside me

There's everything, yet nothing, I can see

Autum charges at Darla, they fight. Darla punches her in the face and scratches her with her nail. When Darla throws the girl into a wall, she disappears. Autum hobbles to Liam's corpse and weeps over it. Rain falls and she pulls him to her.

I'm falling

And I'm sinking

I can't hold on

And it scares me

I'm screaming

Needing

A place where I belong

A place where I belong

Autum stands by Liam's grave. Tears running silently down her face. She stands across the street and watches him eat his first meal. She turns and leaves. Autum's sitting at her home when there's a knock on the door. She answers the door and sees Liam, now Angelous. A bottle drops from her hand and she invites him in. His fangs slip into her hack as a single tear runs down her face, and his hand runs along the side of her pregnant form. (yeah, that's right) She falls to the floor, dead.

Drowning, waiting

Nothing left for me

Slipping, pleading

To find where I call home

To find it on my own

I need to be alone

Liam wipes his mouth of her blood, before slitting his wrist and feeding her his blood. Autum's form lays on the ground, the wounds close up, her stomach goes flat as she sits up, blood running down her. She smoothes over her dress and anger glows in her eyes. She gets up, breaks off a chair leg and rushes out the door. She sees Darla and Angelous, and breaks down.

'Til I stop falling

And sinking

I'll find somewhere to hold on

No more screaming

'Cause I don't need it

I just need a place to call home

I just want to find my home

She crumples to the ground and watches as the leave. She runs back into her house and stares at her dead children's faces. She sits near the fire holding to a picture of Liam, smiling as she looks at him. She jumps up and throws the table at the wall. She over turns the chairs in the kitchen along with the table, plates shattering as they hit the dirt floor. She sobs on her floor. Staring once more at his picture before feeding it to the flames.

Autum bows her head as she finishes the song, and Lorne is pulled out of her mind. "Give us another, chickpea." Lorne tells her breathlessly, needing to know more of her story, more about her, if simply to see her future. Autum nods, starting another one.

Fairies, dancing in my mind

Roses, all smell of one kind

Flowers, lying near the grave

Tombstone, one less left to save

1860: Autum stares down at a casket as it's being lowered into the ground. The casket falls and the wood cracks revealing Drusilla's face. Dirt is dumped on it. Autum sits and watches the childe rise and croon as Angelous steps forward, from dark

Nothing, is all I can be

Hoping, I'll still be me

Wandering, through my ramped thoughts

Trying to find, all that I have lost

Autum's pissed and she punches her fist into a stone wall before walking down the street. She ducks her head into a tavern and sits at the bar. She downs a few and nods for another. She swallows shot after shot until she's gasping

Darkness, comes right after light

Waiting, for it to be night

Rising, from where we were forsaken

Crying, because we're being taken

A few coins drop on the bar and the man next to her nods for them to go into her tab. Bright blue eyes meet hers as a man in his thirties sits down. The man smirks over his mug as the keep slams one down in front of her as well. She gulps it down

Nothing, is all I can be

Hoping, I'll still be me

Wandering, through my ramped thoughts

Trying to find, all that I have lost

Autum stumbles into the alley outside the bar and trips, falling to the floor. The man from the bar helps her up and laughs as he pulls her along with him. They enter a house. The door closes and the man presses her up against the wall, they kiss.

Empty minds play tricky games

Happiness cannot be found, if sane

Tired, restless from my journey

Praying, to be given mercy

Autum's eyes open groggily and she groans. She sits in the bed. She leaves the room and finds herself in a hallway. She walks down it and comes face to face with a little blonde boy about eight years old. He cocks his the side, eyebrow raised

Because there's nothing for me to be

No more hope, I'll never be free

Wandering, 'til I'm lost in my thoughts

Always trying to find everything I've lost

The boy turns his head to see his mother, but when he turns back, the mysterious lady is gone. Autum flew back to the 'guest room'. She jumped out the window. William watches her run out the window, looking back at his mother, then her

Autum sighs, looking at Lorne as the last words roll off her lips. He nods and she rolls her eyes, diving back into another one.

Hiding, in my restraining skin

Crying, for my heavy soul

Waiting, for comfort to return

Nothing, is all I am

1868: Autum walks down the sidewalk in Venice. She ducks into a little boarding house to get out of the rain. She enters and sees a young man staring at her through heavily lashed blue eyes. He grins and she rushes to the kitchens.

But you made me see

All that I could be

You made me feel

That love could be real

But then you...

Pushed it all away

She's standing in the same alley talking to someone. He comes into view, the same man as before, he pushes her against the wall and kisses her, she hoists herself up so her legs drape around his hips. He pulls away and she pulls him back down. She slides free and cocks her head before pulling him in again. She grabs his hand and leads him down the street

Gone, are my desires

Hope, has expired

Love, has no place in my heart

Pain, will always play it's part

1879: Autum props herself up in bed and sniffs the air. She smells something not right. She gets off of the bed, closing her journal and sticking it back into her box. She goes over to the widow, and then goes out into the small kitchen/dining room.

But you made me see

All I could be

You made me feel

That love could be real

But then you...

Pushed it all away

So excuse me when I say

She looks around and sees someone standing in the doorway, holding a torch. Her house is drenched in oil. The woman in the door's face slips into a grin before she drops the torch and the house is lit in flames. The woman walks away. Autum sits down as her skin catches on fire. She cradles herself, crying hard. But she won't give in and scream, she's better then that

I'm nothing, hiding

I'm broken, crying

I'm waiting...

For what is gone

Never stopped screaming...

After all

William walks down the street from the market and smells smoke, seeing it on the horizons, he drops his things and runs as fast and as hard as he can. He sees the fire and screams out for her. Autum snaps her head up at his voice. William strains his eyes and finally makes her out, curled up in a ball on the floor. His eyes make contact with hers and she cries in streams. She screams out once, throwing back her head.

You made me see...

What I'll never be

You made me feel...

But it wasn't real

Because you took it all away!

Lied to me everyday...

When you...

Pushed it all away

1880: Spike runs from the party. Autum sees him from the back, she's following him carefully. He crashes into Dru, Darla and Angelous. She doesn't recognize them until Angelous lifts his face. She tries to find William again, and she sees Dru following him. She tries to push through the streets and she runs. William looks Dru in the face as she leans and plunges her fangs into his neck. Autum turns the corner just in time to see his body fall and Dru feeds him her blood

Autum wipes her face with the back of her hand, "Enough for you yet, ducks?" Lorne hesitates, "One more?" She nods. 'The girl's got a sweet voice, but a very sad life' he thought to himself. He is slightly horrified when the tune changes from sad to angry. 'Way to go Lorne, get her pissed as hell.' He kicked himself. Her voice was now slightly raspier, but still pretty.

I'm falling through the sky from heaven

I'm falling in the pit to hell

I follow the path down which you lead me

Though I know this dream can't end well

Future: Blank, dark, nothing. Empty, cold, dead. A hand slides through the darkness, the silence. A scrap of paper flies by. The pain, the hurt, the humiliation. Nothing will ever just be, will never just become. Everything is lost, so lost. Cackling and screaming and singing. Riddles swim through minds. Anger, betrayal, heartbreak. Fire, brimstone, decay, rot. Everything is going to end, there's nothing that can stop it… DOOM DOOM DOOM! The darkness screams out as a face drifts. Autum stares blankly into space. She is nothing… was never anything, will never be anything. She's imaginary.

It never ends, your lies they still amaze me

Things, but for you, that never claimed to be

Now: Drusilla cackles and laughs. Spike talks to Buffy. Angel shifts. Faith taps her foot along with the beat. Connor sucks in air as he mouths the lyrics along with Autum. Riley drapes his arm over his wife. Pike sneaks out to catch a glimpse of Spike and Buffy, yeah… he noticed. Willow misses them both… Tara and Kennedy, both gone… she misses them so much.

Back through time and space to this restless town

Do you tell yourself that this is your devotion?

All you do is get in the way

And always pull me down

Future: Faith screams, then laughs, a bloody grin spread across her face. Buffy leans into Spike, breathing in the leather as she weeps. The worlds come crashing down. Everything gone, completely erased from existence. Riley being thrown into a wall. Mrs. Finn thinking of her child as her head is ripped off. Pike disappearing before the final battle. Fists hitting faces. Blood pouring out of scratches, death's lingering scent

Pull me up

And push me around

Did you find a way to bring me down?

Close your eyes

Just shut me out

Did you know? Did you have any doubt?

Now: Buffy punches the banister, breaking it. Spike grabs her shoulders and shakes her. Autum sings out and her voice shakes slightly as she starts to tremble in anger. The words are being spit out as if poison. Pens lying on pieces of paper. Handwriting scribbled across the sheets. Fingers tapping on the side of one of the chairs. The hearts' pounding and beating

I'm drowning in your admiration

You suffocate my every breath

You broke the walls I put around my heart

You're watching me

You're the only one who really knows me

Future: Lips smashing down. Bloody fists being shoved into pavement. One last kiss good-bye, whom for? Whom from? Fingers entwined, blood mingling. Fangs descending on flesh. Blood flowing, freely. Skin and sheets, satin and silk.

And there were times I felt so alone

But I can't hide it any more

Pull me up

And push me around

Did you find a way to bring me down?

Close your eyes

Just shut me out

Did you know? Did you have any doubt?

A name, a sound, but too far off to recall. A lifetime of memories. Everything empty, gone. But for the hand, and the sheets. A foot floats in the timeless capacity as well. They must belong to something. All that remains of the earth are the ashes. And the blood. But the screams are gone, and there's just nothing, but to wait. Autum opens her eyes, she's alone

I'm falling through my life's foundations

Platform on high, which once, I stood

Do you fear my heart-bled consecration?

Don't, it won't do you any good

Pull me up

And push me around

Don't care if you find a way to bring me down

Close your eyes

Just shut me out

It's all you do, when you have any doubts

A dizzying array of vissions fly around, images of pain and suffering, the pictures of the days where there was nothing but a cold feeling, where death hung in the air

Lorne is suddenly thrust back into the real world as her 'reading' has ended. He just looks at the girl, knowing that the whole story couldn't have just been in those few clips he'd seen. Yet what he saw had reminded him that she wasn't as young as she looked, but she was still just a scared little girl. She had to know that this was going to happen. He knew it, he believed it, because she did. She knew everything that was going on all around her, yet she was still able to shut everything out and be completely alone. Her life was a very sad story… and he was half certain that she would find a way to make things right. Even though he believed that she believed that this was the true end. He couldn't help but feel that this was just one more story to tell the family.