Disclaimer: don't own them, Joss does
SING FOR ME YOUR SOUL (1.03.09)
"Lorne!" Fred says as she slips out of her seat and goes over to him. Lorne's mouth is opened in shock.
"Fredickins? Who… how?" Autum jumps off of the stage.
"That'd be my doing, ducky." She stares at Lorne hard.
Angel looks to her, then to Lorne, "Lorne, this is…"
"I know who she is." Lorne dismissed them, "But I've got to say, I didn't think you'd've been through all that."
"You read her?" Connor asks, looking at Lorne as if suspicious.
"Yes, and no…" Lorne looks at the girl. She's tiny, pale, brown-red hair and eyes of stone, she didn't look the way he'd thought she would. He'd expected someone… taller. "Sorry, cupcake," and he truly was. "You're only at the beginning."
"Is that so?" Autum asks, "Well, don't you think I know this? A lot left to come."
Buffy tried to sneak out while they were chatting, but found herself face to face with Spike, who placed his hand over her mouth. "You're coming with me." He tells her, before he leads her out of the room.
"I won't bloody well sing for you so nancy boy, here can give me a bit of the prod and probe." Autum snarls.
"Why not?" Riley asks her, "You keep saying we should trust you, but then you refuse to do this?"
Autum sticks out her chin and clenches her jaw as she goes to the stage, sitting once more at the piano. "Does it matter what I sing?"
"No." Lorne assures her.
Autum begins to play, and as her voice rings out, Lorne is thrown into a whirlwind.
I'm falling
I'm sinking
I can't hold on
And it scares me
1753: Autum walks down an alleyway and sees Liam fall to the ground at Darla's feet. She screams out, as she backs against a wall, clutching at the sides. Her breaths are shallow and tears run down her face. She snaps her head up and glares at Darla.
Nevermind the fact I once thought I had lost you
Nevermind the fact I once thought I lost me
Cannot hold my own without you here beside me
There's everything, yet nothing, I can see
Autum charges at Darla, they fight. Darla punches her in the face and scratches her with her nail. When Darla throws the girl into a wall, she disappears. Autum hobbles to Liam's corpse and weeps over it. Rain falls and she pulls him to her.
I'm falling
And I'm sinking
I can't hold on
And it scares me
I'm screaming
Needing
A place where I belong
A place where I belong
Autum stands by Liam's grave. Tears running silently down her face. She stands across the street and watches him eat his first meal. She turns and leaves. Autum's sitting at her home when there's a knock on the door. She answers the door and sees Liam, now Angelous. A bottle drops from her hand and she invites him in. His fangs slip into her hack as a single tear runs down her face, and his hand runs along the side of her pregnant form. (yeah, that's right) She falls to the floor, dead.
Drowning, waiting
Nothing left for me
Slipping, pleading
To find where I call home
To find it on my own
I need to be alone
Liam wipes his mouth of her blood, before slitting his wrist and feeding her his blood. Autum's form lays on the ground, the wounds close up, her stomach goes flat as she sits up, blood running down her. She smoothes over her dress and anger glows in her eyes. She gets up, breaks off a chair leg and rushes out the door. She sees Darla and Angelous, and breaks down.
'Til I stop falling
And sinking
I'll find somewhere to hold on
No more screaming
'Cause I don't need it
I just need a place to call home
I just want to find my home
She crumples to the ground and watches as the leave. She runs back into her house and stares at her dead children's faces. She sits near the fire holding to a picture of Liam, smiling as she looks at him. She jumps up and throws the table at the wall. She over turns the chairs in the kitchen along with the table, plates shattering as they hit the dirt floor. She sobs on her floor. Staring once more at his picture before feeding it to the flames.
Autum bows her head as she finishes the song, and Lorne is pulled out of her mind. "Give us another, chickpea." Lorne tells her breathlessly, needing to know more of her story, more about her, if simply to see her future. Autum nods, starting another one.
Fairies, dancing in my mind
Roses, all smell of one kind
Flowers, lying near the grave
Tombstone, one less left to save
1860: Autum stares down at a casket as it's being lowered into the ground. The casket falls and the wood cracks revealing Drusilla's face. Dirt is dumped on it. Autum sits and watches the childe rise and croon as Angelous steps forward, from dark
Nothing, is all I can be
Hoping, I'll still be me
Wandering, through my ramped thoughts
Trying to find, all that I have lost
Autum's pissed and she punches her fist into a stone wall before walking down the street. She ducks her head into a tavern and sits at the bar. She downs a few and nods for another. She swallows shot after shot until she's gasping
Darkness, comes right after light
Waiting, for it to be night
Rising, from where we were forsaken
Crying, because we're being taken
A few coins drop on the bar and the man next to her nods for them to go into her tab. Bright blue eyes meet hers as a man in his thirties sits down. The man smirks over his mug as the keep slams one down in front of her as well. She gulps it down
Nothing, is all I can be
Hoping, I'll still be me
Wandering, through my ramped thoughts
Trying to find, all that I have lost
Autum stumbles into the alley outside the bar and trips, falling to the floor. The man from the bar helps her up and laughs as he pulls her along with him. They enter a house. The door closes and the man presses her up against the wall, they kiss.
Empty minds play tricky games
Happiness cannot be found, if sane
Tired, restless from my journey
Praying, to be given mercy
Autum's eyes open groggily and she groans. She sits in the bed. She leaves the room and finds herself in a hallway. She walks down it and comes face to face with a little blonde boy about eight years old. He cocks his the side, eyebrow raised
Because there's nothing for me to be
No more hope, I'll never be free
Wandering, 'til I'm lost in my thoughts
Always trying to find everything I've lost
The boy turns his head to see his mother, but when he turns back, the mysterious lady is gone. Autum flew back to the 'guest room'. She jumped out the window. William watches her run out the window, looking back at his mother, then her
Autum sighs, looking at Lorne as the last words roll off her lips. He nods and she rolls her eyes, diving back into another one.
Hiding, in my restraining skin
Crying, for my heavy soul
Waiting, for comfort to return
Nothing, is all I am
1868: Autum walks down the sidewalk in Venice. She ducks into a little boarding house to get out of the rain. She enters and sees a young man staring at her through heavily lashed blue eyes. He grins and she rushes to the kitchens.
But you made me see
All that I could be
You made me feel
That love could be real
But then you...
Pushed it all away
She's standing in the same alley talking to someone. He comes into view, the same man as before, he pushes her against the wall and kisses her, she hoists herself up so her legs drape around his hips. He pulls away and she pulls him back down. She slides free and cocks her head before pulling him in again. She grabs his hand and leads him down the street
Gone, are my desires
Hope, has expired
Love, has no place in my heart
Pain, will always play it's part
1879: Autum props herself up in bed and sniffs the air. She smells something not right. She gets off of the bed, closing her journal and sticking it back into her box. She goes over to the widow, and then goes out into the small kitchen/dining room.
But you made me see
All I could be
You made me feel
That love could be real
But then you...
Pushed it all away
So excuse me when I say
She looks around and sees someone standing in the doorway, holding a torch. Her house is drenched in oil. The woman in the door's face slips into a grin before she drops the torch and the house is lit in flames. The woman walks away. Autum sits down as her skin catches on fire. She cradles herself, crying hard. But she won't give in and scream, she's better then that
I'm nothing, hiding
I'm broken, crying
I'm waiting...
For what is gone
Never stopped screaming...
After all
William walks down the street from the market and smells smoke, seeing it on the horizons, he drops his things and runs as fast and as hard as he can. He sees the fire and screams out for her. Autum snaps her head up at his voice. William strains his eyes and finally makes her out, curled up in a ball on the floor. His eyes make contact with hers and she cries in streams. She screams out once, throwing back her head.
You made me see...
What I'll never be
You made me feel...
But it wasn't real
Because you took it all away!
Lied to me everyday...
When you...
Pushed it all away
1880: Spike runs from the party. Autum sees him from the back, she's following him carefully. He crashes into Dru, Darla and Angelous. She doesn't recognize them until Angelous lifts his face. She tries to find William again, and she sees Dru following him. She tries to push through the streets and she runs. William looks Dru in the face as she leans and plunges her fangs into his neck. Autum turns the corner just in time to see his body fall and Dru feeds him her blood
Autum wipes her face with the back of her hand, "Enough for you yet, ducks?" Lorne hesitates, "One more?" She nods. 'The girl's got a sweet voice, but a very sad life' he thought to himself. He is slightly horrified when the tune changes from sad to angry. 'Way to go Lorne, get her pissed as hell.' He kicked himself. Her voice was now slightly raspier, but still pretty.
I'm falling through the sky from heaven
I'm falling in the pit to hell
I follow the path down which you lead me
Though I know this dream can't end well
Future: Blank, dark, nothing. Empty, cold, dead. A hand slides through the darkness, the silence. A scrap of paper flies by. The pain, the hurt, the humiliation. Nothing will ever just be, will never just become. Everything is lost, so lost. Cackling and screaming and singing. Riddles swim through minds. Anger, betrayal, heartbreak. Fire, brimstone, decay, rot. Everything is going to end, there's nothing that can stop it… DOOM DOOM DOOM! The darkness screams out as a face drifts. Autum stares blankly into space. She is nothing… was never anything, will never be anything. She's imaginary.
It never ends, your lies they still amaze me
Things, but for you, that never claimed to be
Now: Drusilla cackles and laughs. Spike talks to Buffy. Angel shifts. Faith taps her foot along with the beat. Connor sucks in air as he mouths the lyrics along with Autum. Riley drapes his arm over his wife. Pike sneaks out to catch a glimpse of Spike and Buffy, yeah… he noticed. Willow misses them both… Tara and Kennedy, both gone… she misses them so much.
Back through time and space to this restless town
Do you tell yourself that this is your devotion?
All you do is get in the way
And always pull me down
Future: Faith screams, then laughs, a bloody grin spread across her face. Buffy leans into Spike, breathing in the leather as she weeps. The worlds come crashing down. Everything gone, completely erased from existence. Riley being thrown into a wall. Mrs. Finn thinking of her child as her head is ripped off. Pike disappearing before the final battle. Fists hitting faces. Blood pouring out of scratches, death's lingering scent
Pull me up
And push me around
Did you find a way to bring me down?
Close your eyes
Just shut me out
Did you know? Did you have any doubt?
Now: Buffy punches the banister, breaking it. Spike grabs her shoulders and shakes her. Autum sings out and her voice shakes slightly as she starts to tremble in anger. The words are being spit out as if poison. Pens lying on pieces of paper. Handwriting scribbled across the sheets. Fingers tapping on the side of one of the chairs. The hearts' pounding and beating
I'm drowning in your admiration
You suffocate my every breath
You broke the walls I put around my heart
You're watching me
You're the only one who really knows me
Future: Lips smashing down. Bloody fists being shoved into pavement. One last kiss good-bye, whom for? Whom from? Fingers entwined, blood mingling. Fangs descending on flesh. Blood flowing, freely. Skin and sheets, satin and silk.
And there were times I felt so alone
But I can't hide it any more
Pull me up
And push me around
Did you find a way to bring me down?
Close your eyes
Just shut me out
Did you know? Did you have any doubt?
A name, a sound, but too far off to recall. A lifetime of memories. Everything empty, gone. But for the hand, and the sheets. A foot floats in the timeless capacity as well. They must belong to something. All that remains of the earth are the ashes. And the blood. But the screams are gone, and there's just nothing, but to wait. Autum opens her eyes, she's alone
I'm falling through my life's foundations
Platform on high, which once, I stood
Do you fear my heart-bled consecration?
Don't, it won't do you any good
Pull me up
And push me around
Don't care if you find a way to bring me down
Close your eyes
Just shut me out
It's all you do, when you have any doubts
A dizzying array of vissions fly around, images of pain and suffering, the pictures of the days where there was nothing but a cold feeling, where death hung in the air
Lorne is suddenly thrust back into the real world as her 'reading' has ended. He just looks at the girl, knowing that the whole story couldn't have just been in those few clips he'd seen. Yet what he saw had reminded him that she wasn't as young as she looked, but she was still just a scared little girl. She had to know that this was going to happen. He knew it, he believed it, because she did. She knew everything that was going on all around her, yet she was still able to shut everything out and be completely alone. Her life was a very sad story… and he was half certain that she would find a way to make things right. Even though he believed that she believed that this was the true end. He couldn't help but feel that this was just one more story to tell the family.
