no a/n.
JUST CHAPTER
kbye
superfly615243
Chapter 9: Singing
We hit up a few more Targets, Wal-Marts, and while we're there, I convince Jared to get me an I-pod. I've always wanted one, but couldn't get one because of, obviously, the situation we were in. But now I can so I take the opportunity.
Wanda also gets medicine from some healing facilities. Not injuring herself though, Jamie had told me about the time she cut herself with a knife just to get meds for him.
I've never known a Soul to be so... loving of humans. They usually fake even their care for our safety. But Wanda is different than most Souls I've met. That's why everyone down here loves her. Her love and care are genuine for these humans.
She seems almost human herself. The feelings she has are human and the way she reacts to them are how humans would react. I've seen her with Ian before, the way they look at each other, like there's no one else in the world they'd rather be with. They look at each other with love. Genuine, cold-hard-fact, hopeless love.
I watch Ian and Wanda interact when we reach a hotel for the night. He holds her in his arms as they walk to the hotel, occasionally pecking her on the neck. Wanda turns around as they back into the room and throws her arms around his neck. They share a sweet, short, kiss, just like the one on the first day I saw them.
They aren't flaunting their undying love for each other, it's subtle. The little things they do.
I sigh at my utter cheesiness, lift my duffel from the ground, and head around the jeep when I run into Jamie.
"Oof!" I yelp as I fall but Jamie catches me, his arms in a vice-like grip around my waist.
"Hey Rachel!" he says, keeping his arms around my waist as he rights me so I can stand. "I need to talk to you anyways."
His arms are still around my waist so I nudge them slightly. Jamie gets the hint and drops his arms back to his side, coughing awkwardly.
"So, what did you need?" I ask, shifting restlessly from foot to foot.
"Well," Jamie says, "We got two hotel rooms since there's so many of us, and we were figuring out seating arrangements. We got two rooms that are connected; one has two beds, the other one bed and a couch."
"And?"
"So you might have already figured this out, but Wanda and Ian are sleeping together, and obviously Mel and Jared are in the same situation. So those four are staying in the room with two beds. And Jeb offered to take the couch, so we are gonna be sleeping together."
My eyes widen impressively and I feel my cheeks color. No doubt they're beet red because Jamie smirks at my reaction. I should have expected this but I wasn't thinking that much about sleeping arrangements when we were raiding.
"Something wrong with that? I can take the couch if you want-"
"No!" I interrupt, stopping him by placing a hand firmly on his chest. Jamie glances down at it casually before returning his now serious gaze to my face. "No, I-I'm fine with it. You don't have to sleep on the couch." I swallow nervously and mutter, "Sleep with me."
Jamie's eyes widen a fraction before a serious mask covers his previous expression. "Uh, yeah. I wasn't gonna give up the bed anyways. Jeb's an old man; he can take sleeping on a couch." We both laugh and the tension in the air immediately dissolves. Jamie slings his arm casually over my shoulder, directing me towards the hotel.
When we get to our room and drop our bags, I notice how spacious it is. There's a bathroom, a small kitchen/dining area, a full size bed, a pull-out couch in front of a large screen TV, and a balcony with a view over the city. Nice.
The door connecting our room to Wanda, Ian, Mel, and Jared's room is already shut and there's no sound coming from behind it.
"I guess they've already turned in." Jamie murmurs my thoughts, jerking his head towards the connecting door. I'm about to voice my reply when Jeb emerges from the bathroom.
"Ah," he says in acknowledgement of us, "I see you've decided to finally grace me with your presence." Jamie chuckles and I smile widely at Jeb.
"We were just wondering if you needed help pulling out the couch." I offer. Jeb scoffs and waves a hand in dismissal.
"Bah! Pulling out a couch? That's nothing! I'll call you if I need some real help." Jeb winks, shuffles over to the couch, and plops down. He fumbles for a while with the channels on the remote before settling on a talk show and closing his eyes. Jamie laughs beside me at Jeb's unusual behavior.
I turn to him, remarking quietly, "Well what do you expect? It's Soul TV; it won't be any fun to watch because they're always peaceful." Jamie nods in agreement before falling backwards and onto the bed.
He breathes out deeply; all the stress that had lain on his chest before, released into the air around him and I. "Now I could get used to this." He mumbles, his eye lids drooping and his mouth in a sloppy, carefree smile.
I laugh and sit down on the bed beside him, sighing in relief. "Yeah," I murmur, "No troubles, no Souls, no gardening." Jamie laughs heartily and sits up.
"I'm gonna take a shower, then you can, and then we can go to bed." Jamie stands and looks down at me with smiling eyes. "That okay with you?"
I nod and wave him away. Jamie smiles once more before reaching underneath the bed and pulling out his duffel. He heaves it over his shoulder and trudges into the bathroom. It isn't long before I hear the water start running.
I get up from the bed and walk out to the balcony, seating myself in one of the flimsy, plastic deck chairs. The sun is setting over the city, colors running like wet ink over the landscape. Purples and pinks streak themselves across the sky in no particular pattern, but it seems almost like a choreographed dance.
How can our earth be still so naturally amazing, even after the Souls have taken over everything? Wouldn't the magnificence of it all have disappeared, right with the human race? Shouldn't our earth have turned into desolate void, without any wonder and color? Then maybe the Souls would leave here. If our earth couldn't support their stupid ways of life, would they leave? Or would they bring back supplies to make their race thrive? Would they keep going on, making sure that any planet in our entire universe was only inhabited by their race? No diversity, only the leading species that has the power to wipe any other kind of life form. They would thrive and continue, but only them.
Only them.
The questions race through my mind as I continue to watch the sky change from fiery orange and purple, to midnight black. I stay watching until the last bit of the sun dips below the horizon.
I lift myself from the chair, groaning when my legs crack from being still for so long. When I walk back into the room, Jamie is sitting on the bed.
In boxers.
I almost turn around and run back out to the balcony, but something makes me stay.
He doesn't have a shirt on, again, but this time he's clean and fresh water is running down his bare chest. The streaks have made it down to his boxers, staining the fabric but I don't care and I don't think he does either. His boxers are dark blue and, damn, it looks good on him.
Jamie must hear my breathing because he looks up and sees me staring. My cheeks flush and my hearts pounds violently in my chest. Jamie smirks, rises from the bed, and walks over to me.
My breathing starts getting even more erratic when he stops right in front of me. I drop my gaze to the floor, then the ceiling, then Jeb sleeping soundly on the couch, anywhere but Jamie.
"The bathroom's all yours, Princess." Jamie remarks smugly, obviously at my reaction to him half naked. I nod stiffly, rush over to the bed, grab my pajamas, and then sprint into the bathroom.
After I slam the door, I hear Jamie chuckle softly from the other side of it. The bed springs creak noisily as, I'm assuming, Jamie sits down on it. When I don't hear anything else for a while, I strip from my sticky clothes and drop them into a pile on the floor. I heat the water for the shower up until it's hot and step in.
I muss with my hair for a while when I realize I've started to hum softly. Singing in the shower is my thing; I guess old habits die hard.
Jamie must be asleep by now and Jeb was asleep when I came in from the balcony, so I start to hum louder. When no one barges in to ask "what's all this racket", I start to sing quietly, barely audible; even to myself.
(A/N: FUCK NO. this will NOT be a song fic, i just wanna have the words on here so if you don't like it, DEAL WITH IT)
I can't win, I can't reign I am lost, I am vain, I can't rest, I can't fight I can't quit now, this can't be right I can't look, I'm so blind Without you
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
All I need is you and I
Without you
Without you
Oh, oh, oh!
You! You! You!
Without You! You! You! Without you
Can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're estranged
Without you, without you
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you
I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed
Without you, without you
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you
Without you
Oh, oh, oh!
You! You! You!
Without You! You! You! Without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
(A/N: NOW WAS THAT TOO BAD? MHMM DIDNT THINK SO)
By the time I finish the song, I'm done washing. I switch off the water and step carefully out of the shower. My pajamas are still lying in a heap on the floor, so I pick them up and shrug them on.
As I step out of the bathroom, I get a bad feeling in my stomach. Maybe I shouldn't have sung that song so loud...
Jamie is lying on the bed, hands behind his head, his eyes focused intently on the ceiling. I freeze in my spot. Crap, he must have heard me if he was right there.
Jamie looks up when I enter the room and his eyes widen. I look down at myself. I'm wearing booty shorts and loose fitting tank top. My cheeks flush with color (I'm doing that a lot today) as I shuffle my feet back and forth nervously.
Boys had never looked at me before; after all, I was only 13 or so when my parents were turned into one of them, so this is new.
Jamie keeps staring, his gaze drifting up and down my body, lingering sometimes. He must realize what he's doing because he stops and finally meets my eyes, a ghost of a smile on his face.
He motions to the bed and for me to join him. I nod in thank you as I walk slowly over to the bed, prolonging the inevitable.
Jamie notices my discomfort and reaches down to the floor, lifts a pillow up, and places it in the middle of the bed. His small gesture makes me smile as I climb under the covers to join him.
"Rachel?" Jamie mumbles after a while. My eyes have closed and I'm on the verge of falling into the abyss of dreamland, but I don't want to ignore him so I grunt in acknowledgement.
"You're a good singer."
I recognize what he says but I'm too far gone to make coherent sentences, "Mhmm."
"I mean it you know. You're better than most people I know. Well, I don't know many singers-" I laugh at this- "but I know that you're good."
"Well," I whisper, "thank you."
"Mhmm. Goodnight Rachel."
I don't know why, I must be half asleep, but right before I succumb completely, I mumble softly to him, "Goodnight J. Love you."
In the middle of the night, I awaken in a flash from a nightmare. My scared gaze sweeps the room until I call the coast clear enough for me. When I turn my head to check on Jamie, I freeze in surprise.
His face is right next to mine, his hot breath washing out over my neck and face. The pillow we'd placed between us is on the floor, discarded in the middle of the night by one of us. My thigh is hooked around his waist and his hand is holding it there protectively. My hands and his other one are wrapped around the other's waist, pulling us closer together. And there's a content smile on his face. A smile that shows he's at ease with this.
I was going to get up but if I move slightly, I'm afraid I'll wake him up. So I stay in the position I'm in for a good 30 minutes before gathering up the nerve to get up.
I carefully peel away all our touching body parts, making sure to do it with caution as to not wake Jamie up. After I've pulled away my hand from his waist, the smile drops off Jamie's face and he groans in his sleep. My eyes widen at his discomfort, mostly because it happened right after I pulled away from him. I frantically search around until my gaze lands on the pillow we'd used as a barrier. I lift it off the floor and place it Jamie's arms. The smile returns to his face and I sigh in relief.
I step out of the bed and walk out to the balcony. I seat myself in the same chair I was in earlier and pull my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.
Star gazing was always a favorite pastime of mine when I was a kid. I knew all the constellations by heart. My dad and I both. We'd star-gaze into the early morning hours; or until my mom called us back inside saying, "it's too cold out there you're going to freeze your butts off!" To which my dad would just grunt and mutter too quietly for her to here, "we'll pretend to go back inside; and then we'll come back out, right kiddo?" I'd always nod excitedly, go back up to my room, laid down in bed, and pretend to be asleep. But eventually, I did fall asleep and we didn't go back outside. It happened every time.
I think my dad did it on purpose because he believed too, that we would "freeze our butts off".
I laugh quietly as I remember my childhood. When I didn't have a care in the world. When Dameon and I were the best of friends.
When life was perfect.
I sigh and shift my gaze to the moon. I'd never liked looking at the moon; it always looked the same to me. And I could never see the man in the moon, even though my dad always said it was there. Like he said he'd always be.
I remember it now, one summer night, when the crickets had suspiciously stopped chirping and the wind didn't blow a cool kiss to the nightlife, he'd whispered to me, "Kiddo, listen to me." I'd listened. "I know one day, daddy might not be there for you like he is now. I don't want you to worry about that now because I'm here now and that's all that matters. But I want you to remember that when daddy's not there, the man in the moon will be. He's always there, no matter what. The man in the moon will help daddy when he can't be there. He's got a part of me in him too. I want you to remember to look to the sky when you need me sweetie. Remember that for me. "
After his little speech I'd nodded vigorously and we pinky swore on it. My dad would always be with the man in the moon. I knew he would. He is even now. No matter where in the earth he actually is; even if he's a Soul.
He's always there.
I hear the door to the balcony creak in warning of someone coming outside. My head swivels on its own accord, and I see Jamie standing cautiously in the doorway.
"Can I join you?" His voice isn't completely grumbled by sleep, but I can tell he isn't fully awake. I nod and gesture to the chair beside me. He smiles, pulls it out from the corner, and sits in it next to me. "Couldn't sleep?"
I shrug, "Guess not."
"Bad dream?"
I shrug again and shift in my chair so I can see him better. He shivers slightly in the cold and watches me intently, a serious expression painted clearly on his face. "What was it about?"
"Mhmm," I think for a moment before safely responding with, "I don't remember."
"Bull. I know you do, just tell me." I stare at him in surprise. It seemed for a moment he was going to cuss at me but I push it to the back of my mind.
"It wasn't more or less the dream. I was just... remembering old times." My gaze drops quickly from his. I can feel his stare boring holes in the back of my head but again, I ignore it. His chair squeaks as he moves it closer.
"What were you remembering?" I stiffen at his words and hope he doesn't notice. He does though. He places a gentle, comforting hand on my shoulder and rubs small circles on my shoulder blade.
"My dad... before the Souls, I mean." Jamie nods sympathetically. He must feel the same way. Although he's never told me about his parents, I can already tell he's in the same boat as me.
"We were so close back then." I continue talking and soon everything pours out. "We did everything together. I know girls always bonded with their moms over shopping and boys but I did things with my dad. I just wish I could get those days back. You know before everything. I just wish I could rewind time for a while, you know?"
Throughout my little speech Jamie has gotten closer without me noticing. It's not until I look up from my hands do I realize he's only centimeters away from me.
I lose my breath for a minute before finally sputtering out, "I just wish... I wish... you know?"
Jamie gently places a finger to my lips and whispers, "I know."
Then he kisses me.
...
AHHHHHHHH! YES YES YES! FINALLY! SOMETHING HAS COME OF THIS STORY! HAHA!
Sigh. the ending was NOT as good as it was supposed to be. i mean they were supposed to kiss but the ending balcony scene was just forced writing to me, you know? i was just like
GET TO THE FUCKING KISS ALREADY
sorry if the ending sucked but yeah... like i explained...
some parts of this chapter were, like, DEEP for me... idk im not used to writing deep stuff so i was like "this stuff comes from the heart!"
lol whatever still 3 you guys in a non-stalkerish way!
superfly615243
