Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions

Why Lei has to roll his eyes at me I'll never understand. I'll always blame that English bastard. He put those thoughts in his head, he taught my little Hong Kong English. He taught things that could get my poor boy hurt.

What he says and does. Reminds me so much of the English idiot, the one that tried so long to force his ideas on me. His stupid ideas, just like all the others before him and I'm sure will still come. I am me and I won't change for anyone else, no will I listen to anyone else's ideas but my own.

They are all that matter. They are true, honest and right. Mine won't cost any more heartache, any more pain.

They're just communist propaganda.

Nothing but lies.

You're confused, that never happened.

I ball my fists, looking down at my feet as the thoughts swirl around my mind. None are mine but others trying to hide what they did. They've tried so hard but I know the truth. What they did to me, I do and I'll never forget.

"They aren't lies." I say trying to force the opinions out of my head but they continue to swarm like bees until it's hard to hear anything else. "Leave me alone." I grit my teeth until my own thoughts are drowned out. "Go away."

It starts to consume me until I'm left unsure of my own thoughts. I sit there until Lei comes to ask me something. I look up at him with cloudy vision before blinking as the thoughts finally clear my mind. Their stupid ideas fleeing back into the recesses of my mind where they belong.

Hopefully it's where they stay. I don't need to hear them because deep down I'm afraid of what they mean and who once said them.