Dean woke up in a big, messy fluster. He shook his head terribly, terribly so and struggled to get off of the sofa. Through the foggy memory of his dreams, he walked through the house and followed the faint sound of music. In the kitchen, Cas was sitting at the table with a radio on in front of him. It appeared that Sam was still sleeping in his weird crib. When Dean came into the kitchen, Cas looked back at him. "You're awake," he said softly then stood up, turning around with yet again a cup of hot coffee and a newspaper. Dean took both but tossed the paper on the table.

"You don't have to do that every morning," he grumbled.

"But I prefer to," Cas said and sat back down gently.

"Whatever gets you through the night, man," Dean shrugged, sipping the coffee. "You give Sam his meds yet?"

"I'm trying to keep it punctual. I will administer the serum at four-twenty-three this afternoon."

"Okay then, Mr. OCD."

"I don't have a last name."

"Just being funny."

"I see no humor in it, sorry."

"It's fine." Dean joined Cas at the table and looked at the radio. "So uh, whatcha been listening to?"

"There are a few songs with sentiments I enjoy," Cas said. He looked happy.

"Like what?"

"One that they called I Don't Want to Miss a Thing."

"Aerosmith. Niiice."

"I can relate to the notions."

Dean sat back in his chair and sipped the coffee. "You're a nut."

"No, I am an angel."

"Right, right," Dean rolled his eyes and started to laugh. "So I had this crazy dream last night. You won't believe it."

"Why would I think you were a liar?"

Ignoring Cas' literal nightmare, Dean closed his eyes, still chuckling and continued; "You were in a wedding dress."

"That is interesting. Is it customary?"

"Heh, not exactly. Men wear suits and the chicks wear dresses."

"Why would you have such a dream?"

"Beats me. Pretty freaky though. Please don't wear any dresses. Ever."

"I currently see no reason to do such a thing, however I cannot find an argument not to. I'm afraid I can't make a promise like that."

"How reassuring," Dean grumbled. "I'll keep my dreams to myself."

"As you wish."

Dean finished off the coffee and slid the mug to the side, then he reached across the table and touched both of Cas' hands lightly. The angel looked down at them. "You know I wish you could sleep with me," Dean said quietly.

"I'm sorry. I can try?"

"It's not the same. Actually having to sleep together versus you forcing it, that's just, ugh, it's lame."

"Again, Dean; I'm very sorry."

"You gotta stop apologizing," said Dean. "You can't help what you, well what you can't help."

Cas nodded. "I would like to kiss you," he said quietly.

"You don't need to ask permission."

"Alright." The angel applied pressure to Dean's hands then leaned over the table and kissed him on the lips. Dean smiled into the kiss and opened his mouth just a bit, smacking their lips together. Cas sighed dreamily, closing his eyes.

"Do you like that?" Dean whispered.

"The sensation is pleasant, yes," was Cas' timid reply. Dean pulled away from the kiss. "What?"

"You gotta learn how to talk dirty," the man insisted.

"Talk dirty? What is that?"

"Like, it's like, sexy things you say when you're having sex. I dunno how to explain it but you are terrible at it."

"I am?"

"Yeah, sorry."

Before they could get any further, a little noise came from the crib. "Ehh! Ehh!" it squeaked.

"…is that Sam?" Dean asked and immediately got up. He went to the crib and saw Sam, awake, reaching his hands up. "Hey! Sammy, look at you!"

"Ehh! Ehh!" the baby struggled.

"Are you trying to talk, man? Is that it? You trying to talk?"

Cas got up and followed Dean to the side of the crib as well, staring blankly down at Sam. "It seems the antidote is already speeding up his development."

"Yeah or maybe he's just growing up? When do baby's start talking?"

"I don't know any more than you."

"EHH! EEHH!" Sam cried out.

"Aww Sammy come on, you can do it," Dean coaxed. He reached into the crib and hoisted his brother out. He tried to hold onto him, but Sam held his arms out to Cas instead. "No, no. You wanna stay here with Dean. You know, your brother. Sammmehh come on."

"EHH!"

"He is attempting communication," Cas said, staring at the baby.

"Say 'Dean,'" Said Dean. "Or 'Sam.' But 'Dean' would be way more awesome."

"Eeeeehhh, eeeehhhh!"

"You can do it," Dean cheered. "Just say, 'Deeean.'"

"Eeeeehhhhnnngguuuull. Eenngul. Enngul. Aaangul."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Dean snorted. "Angel? Your first damn word is fucking angel?"

"Aangguull," Sam whined, squeezing his fingers at Cas.

"I admit that is rather cute," Cas said. He took Sam out of Dean's grip, leaving the older brother looking rather downtrodden. "What is wrong, Dean?"

"He likes you better," Dean grouched.

"To be fair I have been doing most of the work," Cas said.

"You're right," Dean sighed, watching the two of them. Sam hugged Cas a bit and mumbled, "aanngull" a few more times, smiling. "You know what? I should probably spend some time with him. I mean, this is my one chance to give him a better childhood."

"That's very wise," Cas agreed. "Would you like to take him now?"

"Yeah, I would." They swapped holders of Sam once more, even though the baby wanted to be back with Cas, and Dean walked a few steps away. "I think I'll take him out for some baby stuff, whatever that is."

"You don't want me to come?" asked the angel.

"Nah, nah. You got homework to do."

"Homework?"

Dean went over to the desk in the study, flipped open the laptop with one hand and pointed to it. "You need to learn how to talk dirty. Watch some porn."

"How do I find some porn?"

"Just search for it in the internet browser. There's plenty. Okay?"

"I will attempt this."

"Great. Then we'll see you later." Dean whisked Sam away, despite his angel babble and desperate grasps for Cas.

"Search for it in the internet browser," Cas repeated to himself. He sat down before the computer and stared at the screen. Once he managed to locate the internet icon and bring it up, he clumsily typed in,

Porn

Dirty

[Enter]

Immediately his eyes widened at the amount of results. "Interesting," he muttered.


"Alright Sammy, time to see what a brother is good for."

Smiling hopefully, Dean put Sam down into a baby swing and began to push. They were at a nearby park, surrounded by other people and kids, all yelling and screaming as they went about their day. Dean leaned down to Sam and whispered, "We aren't really on par with these punks. Just ignore 'em."

Sam sat in the swing with a pouty little face, but as Dean began to push him more he perked up. Soon he was all smiles.

"Hey, is that your kid?" a woman asked from behind. Dean turned around and saw a pretty young thing pushing an empty stroller.

"Oh, no, no. He's just my brother."

"Aww, that's so sweet!" she cooed. "He is really adorable."

"Thanks I guess."

The woman giggled and blushed just a tad. "I guess you don't have any yourself, right?"

"Nope." Dean kept pushing Sam on the swing as he spoke. The woman gestured to the stroller.

"I've got one. She's three. Right over there."

"Ah," Dean said, basically just being polite. Honestly he didn't give a rat's ass about other kids.

"It's been really hard on her, with the divorce and all."

"Must suck."

"It does, it really does." Now the woman flipped her blonde hair back from her face and smiled cutely. "You know if you ever need help with your brother, we could…"

"Hey that's great and all," Dean interrupted quickly. He flashed a courtesy smile at her. "But I'm sorta seeing someone."

"Oh," the woman peeped, clearly embarrassed. She withdrew suddenly and looked away. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't realize."

"It's okay," Dean said, but she had already walked away. "Jeez, tough crowd. Right, Sam?" When he peered back at his brother, the baby had settled down and looked at him very seriously. "What's up?"

"Deeeee," he whined. Dean's face lit up.

"Yeah? Yeah?!"

"Deeeeeeeeee…"

"'Deean'. Say 'Deaaaan'! Come on Sammy, you can do it."

"Deeeeeeeeeeeeeemons."

Dean sighed loudly. "Great," he groaned. "Figures."


Back at home base, Cas had gotten his fill of porno movies and decided to move onto bigger and better things. The internet was appealing in a strange sort of way, not just to find weird stuff but also useful things that could help him in further understand human life. He sat in front of the empty browser, pondering what he could use. Then inspiration struck.

How

To

Make

Pie

[Enter]

"This seems rudimentary," Cas considered. "If this 'busy mom'can make a pie at home, an angel of the Lord certainly can."

He read over the recipe and stored it in his memory, necessary ingredients included. Then he recounted a few lines he had learned in the movies earlier. Hopefully this would satisfy Dean. If not, what was he to do?

Not long after, Dean and Sam came home. Dean seemed upset.

"Dean, you seem upset," said Cas.

"Sam had another word," Dean moped as he put Sam down in his crib. The baby was pretty tuckered out from his day out and went to sleep quickly.

"His development is making milestones," Cas noted. "Is this something to be upset about?"

"I don't understand why he won't say my name."

"What was this second word?"

"Demons."

"I think that is rather appropriate, isn't it?"

"It is, but I'm his brother. I'm his fucking brother. I've always been there for him and he can't even say my name?"

"He is a baby," Cas reminded. He got up from the desk and walked over to Dean slowly. "You cannot expect him to have the fully developed brain of an adult."

"I guess you're right."

"Dean?"

"Yeah what?"

Cas stood before Dean with the usual serious face. "I believe I have been bad," he said.

"Bad? What are you talking about?"

"I have been bad and I need to be spanked, daddy."

Dean burst into laughter. "Whaaaat? Whaaaaat?! Cas what!?"

The angel frowned. "I am doing what you asked me."

"I'm not your daddy, or anybody's. What are you talking about?" The chuckles continued but Cas didn't find it very amusing.

"I have observed several porn movies on the internet and I am copying the dirty talk that was used. Now would you please split my twat in half, as I have a strong desire to be wrecked."

Dean kept laughing. He laughed and laughed and ended up having to hug Cas real tight.

"Is this pleasing? Do you enjoy my dirty talk?" Cas said.

"Ohh man, Cas. You, you're a lost cause."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fiiiine, chill."

Cas stepped back from Dean just a bit and looked him in the eyes. "I am trying very hard to please you."

"I know. I appreciate it. Shit, you've done more for me than anybody has in my entire life."

"Then this is an accomplishment."

"It is," Dean said. He leaned into Cas and kissed him on the lips, but Cas backed up and kept staring.

"Do you still find me attractive? Even if I cannot dirty talk in the manner you would prefer?"

"Shh," Dean hissed and put a finger over Cas' lips. Then he moved it away and replaced it with his lips once more. Cas tried his best to put a lot of effort into the kiss and he was doing alright. A little moan slipped out while they wrestled tongues, breaths increasing rapidly. Dean ran his hands underneath the collar of Cas' trench coat and slowly pushed it off his shoulders, dropping it to the ground with a frump.

Suddenly they blinked away and reappeared on the sofa. Dean towered over Cas with his hands on his shoulders.

"I told you not to poof around like that around the baby," Dean whispered.

"I thought it would be easier this time."

"It's alright," Dean said. He kissed at Cas' neck, growling softly through his heavy breath. Cas closed his eyes and rocked his head back. Tiny moans slipped out between his lips.

"Dean," Cas mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"I like to say your name while you touch me."

Dean hummed. "I like it, too." He bore his teeth down hard into Cas' neck and moaned loudly. The angel's arms shakily reached up underneath Dean's shirt, clawing across his back as their bodies began to grind together. "Caaaas," Dean moaned.

"I wish to have intercourse with you," Cas whispered.

"That's good," Dean answered with a little smile. He put his hands on the angel's tie, lightly touching the knot with his fingertips. Slowly he untied the navy fabric then took out button after button of the shirt, exposing Cas' pale chest. "You want me to fuck you?"

"Yes," Cas hummed. "I want that very much."

Dean began to unbutton Cas' pants. The intensity of arousal started to sneak up on them now, turning the thin space between them hot and sticky. Once he managed to slide the angel's pants off entire, Dean removed his own. They pushed and pulled until both of them were stark naked, pressed together chest-to-chest on the sofa. Dean lifted Cas' legs up and put them around his waist.

"You ready, Cas?"

"Y-yes, Dean. Please, fuck…me. Fuck me, Dean."

The man smiled real wide. He pinned Cas down hard by the shoulders and pressed his boner against his tight hole. The angel gasped a few times, tensing his fingernails in Dean's flesh and let a moan bubble out between his lips. Dean's abs tightened as he started to push his way inside.

"Ohhh f-fuck!" Dean gasped. The head of his dick pressed inside the ring of muscle and both of their bodies ached tenderly. "Feels so good!"

"Dean!" Cas moaned. His hips rocked back against Dean's pelvis, swallowing the cock almost in its entirety. His asshole tightened and clenched hotly as pleasure engulfed them. Dean began to thrust, slowly at first, but as Cas gripped the flesh of his back more, he picked up the pace.

"Oh fuck, Cas. You are so tight. You are so damn tight."

"Dean!"

The angel bucked back wildly, a deep, fast rhythm building between the two of them. Dean's breath choked and gasped as he plowed Cas hard. It was hot and intense. The sofa rocked loudly, creaking and squeaking with Dean's fast fucking. Beads of sweat rolled down Dean's back, one after the other, leaving small wet smears as they ran. Some dripped off his chest and splattered onto Cas. They steamed.

"Cas are you close?" Dean huffed.

"I am right here," Cas muttered, gasping as he arched his back.

"No I mean,-unf—orgasm. Are you go-gonna cum?"

"That intensity? Yes, it is almost here."

"You gotta—umm—you gotta control it."

Dean's abs worked hard, slamming into Cas' ass with a hot fervor. His hands, sticky with sweat, held onto Cas' shoulders as he bear down. Then Dean collapsed so that their chests pressed together. Their tight muscles, slick and shiny, worked and pulled with the rapid increase of speed. They both groaned and moaned loudly in unison. Just before Dean felt his orgasm approach, Cas began to heat up. His body shook and shivered, bloating the air around them with an intoxicating thickness.

"D-damn it, Cas!" Dean shouted. He hugged the angel real tight but continued to hump him rigorously, working his core.

"Dean! Dean!" Cas cried out desperately. His fingers clutched Dean's back so hard that he began to bleed. Then Cas' moans turned into that piercing shrill. It rang out like a loud, eerie scream in every direction of the room. The glass of the windows started to shake and Dean cursed himself.

"CAAAASS!" He screamed.

Then in an instant, Cas' face flushed bright white and the scream reached an even higher tone. Dean closed his eyes tightly and clung to Cas as hard as he could.

POW!

Dean was ejected off of Cas again. He violently flew across the room and slammed into one of Bobby's bookshelves. "No, no, no!" He cried out, flinging his arms up and trying to stop the books from falling. His chest heaved with choking huffs of air, then he struggled to stand up. His legs were so achy it was difficult to walk, but he made it over to Cas, who had collapsed on the sofa and was out cold. Dean put the back of his hand against the angel's cheek.

"Damn it, Cas," Dean whispered. At least he didn't break any windows this time.