Chapter 9: Branch

The first thing most Smashers noticed about the jungle was the humidity.

"Woo!" Fox wiped his forehead. "I'd say it's like a jungle in here, but it wouldn't have the desired effect."

"Heh, it does do that to people." DK pointed at a treehouse partly visible through the trees. "That's my place up there. And if I'm not mistaken…"

Diddy leaped from a nearby tree and landed on DK's head.

"'Sup DK!"

The ape laughed. "You rascal!" He grabbed Diddy by the tail and pulled him off. "Not the welcome I was expecting."

"This your friend?" asked Link.

"Yep. He's Diddy. A bit of a nutter, but he's got a good attitude."

"These the guys from the other places?" asked Diddy. "Some o' them look kinda funny."

"I don't look funny!" Falcon blurted, obviously assuming the comment was directed at him.

"So what d'you have here?" asked Yoshi. "Trees and bananas, obviously, but other than that. I mean, it can't be all jungle."

"Well, that's the most of it."

"So what're we gonna do?"

The ape started thinking. Some of the others offered suggestions.

"How about some exterminating?" Ness had a dozen bugs circling his head.

"Banana-eating contest!" Kirby spurted.

"Let's have a party!" suggested Diddy.

"How 'bout a race?" Falcon flexed a bit.

"Race!" DK snapped his fingers. "That sounds good."

"A race?" Fox pulled on a hanging vine. "In this…uh…mess?"

"Yeah, this won't end well." Yoshi scratched his nose. "I mean, for one, DK has a big advantage."

"Well, it could be a time trial." DK worked through his mental map. "We could start from here, go that way to the orange tree, turn right towards the banana storage hut, then turn right again and finish at my place. I'll give you guys a head start."

The Smashers looked around to find the two landmarks.

"Sounds good! Let's do it!" Falcon was obviously ready to go.

"Not me. I'm-a out." Luigi sat down on a log. "I'm-a too slow for a race."

"Me too." Jigglypuff sat down beside Luigi.

"Tell you what," said DK. "You two can be the timekeepers."

There was a pause as everyone considered the race. After a short while, there was a chorus of "Nah"'s.

"We've done too much active stuff," said Ness.

"Yeah, let's just do some sitting back for a while," agreed Fox.

DK shrugged. "If you say so. Diddy, let's make us some banana splits."

Diddy did a flip and a clap before rushing back to the treehouse. Everyone else followed.

The main room of the wooden building contained a table, a fridge, a couch, and a TV. It was just big enough for everyone to sit down somewhere.

"Order up!" Diddy pulled a large tub of ice cream out of the fridge's freezer, quickly followed by a bunch of bananas and other fruit from a cupboard.

"The works," Yoshi said instantly. Kirby jumped and pointed at Yoshi with a "what he said" look on his face.

The other Smashers didn't load up so much. After a few minutes, the conversation started.

"So what do you do, DK?" asked Link. "I mean, I'm on a quest, Mario saves his kingdom, what about you?"

"Well, there's this crazy crocodile out there called K. Rool," replied the ape. "He seems to have it in for me and my buddies - stealing my bananas, trying to take over or destroy the land, stuff like that. And he's frustratingly good at getting the jump on us."

"Why would a crocodile want a hoard of bananas?" asked Fox.

DK shrugged. "Beats me. I think it's to distract us while he sets up his doomsday machine or something, but he doesn't seem to get that they lead us right to him."

"Hey wait," said Pikachu. "How did Mario get involved with that Bowser thing anyway?"

"Funny story," Yoshi started. "Back when them brothers were born and Bowser was only like two or three, the evil king's advisor Kamek foresaw that Mario and Luigi would be a big pain in the future. So he decided to abduct them. The hospital was running a novelty get-a-stork-to-bring-the-kids-to-your-house service, and that's when they grabbed Luigi. They failed to get Mario, though. He dropped onto Yoshi's Island, where a bunch of us carried him all the way to Bowser's Castle to rescue Luigi and the stork. Since they had to take a portal to get there, it's possible Bowser would have never met us if Kamek hadn't interfered. Of course, if he didn't interfere, he wouldn't have foreseen the problem, so you've got a time paradox there."

"Wait, you're that old?" asked Kirby.

"Nah, that was a few weeks before my time."

"What about you, Samus?" asked Falcon. "So you said you're a bounty hunter?"

"That's right. Every time the Federation police fail, they call me. Like whenever Metroids are involved."

"What's a meter-oid?" asked Ness.

"They're energy predators. The Space Pirates enjoy using them as research, as well as turning them loose on their enemies."

"And the Feds fail to deal with them?" Yoshi chomped on a piece of pinapple.

"Yes, mostly because they're immune to almost all forms of attack, even in the larval stage. In theory, they're now extinct, but you can bet they'll be back sometime."

"What's your story, Ness?" asked Link.

"Really weird." Ness thought for a bit. "I don't even know if I can explain it that well. It was mostly like stopping an alien invasion, but there was a bunch of other strange stuff that happened as well, and then at the end we had to fight this warping monster thing that wouldn't die until Paula started praying."

"And what about you two?" DK asked the Pokémon.

Pikachu shrugged. "We don't really have that kind of story. We haven't saved the world, we're not part of some famous trainer's team, we've never seen a rare Pokémon, nothing. Aside from being able to use these translator thingies, we're completely normal. I have no idea why we're in an all-star group."

"And Kirby," Yoshi said. "You say you're a big eater, eh?"

"Uh-huh. That's pretty much all I do, aside from stopping Dedede and a bunch of other scary stuff from taking things over." Kirby ate a bit more. "Oh, and Meta Knight. I still don't really know if he's on my side or not."

"What was that thing back in the Bowser castle when you had a headband and a hammer?" asked Pikachu.

"That's my copy ability. Observe." Kirby grabbed an arrow out of Link's quiver and ate it.

"Hey!"

There was a poof and Kirby developed a pink helmet with yellow spikes attached to it. "Since I ate something sharp, I'm now Needle Kirby!"

"So you ate a hammer and became Hammer Kirby?"

"Yep." Kirby made a funny noise, which caused the hat to turn into a star and bounce out the window. "I've been able to copy a whole bunch of stuff."

The Smashers kept talking about themselves. Once the food was gone, the conversation slowed down.

"That food gets an 8," said Yoshi. "Good stuff."

"I can't disagree with that," Fox said. "I guess the jungle is good for that kind of stuff."

"Uh-huh." DK straightened his tie. "But we're gonna go somewhere else now, right?"

Diddy leaped onto the ceiling. "Can I come with you guys?"

"That's probably not a good idea," said Link. "We were the ones invited, and while we haven't seen any kind of boss, I don't think they'd be happy."

"Yeah, what's up about that?" wondered Pikachu. "Why haven't we seen a leader or repre...reprezen...uh, representatif?"

"Beats-a me." Mario stood up. "Well, we might as well go now."