This chapter's theme is 'The Meaning Of It All' by Delta Rae.


"Between stimulus and response there is a space.

In that space is our power to choose our response.

In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

- Viktor E. Frankl


"Evelyn… I'm trying to ask if you know yet… if Mr. Kent has told you… that he's Superman."

I read an article once which told me that your brain can think faster than your body can keep up with; this is why we can have a lengthy dream in a matter of a few seconds. I've suspected since I read that article that when time seems to slow down it is only our brains speeding up, momentarily forgetting our bodies to leap ahead, unfettered. In the seconds after my boss, W. Andrew Dallas, dropped that megaton bomb on me, my brain was moving at a thousand thoughts a second.

I suddenly understood Jonathan Kent's fear in a way I hadn't before. This was the thing he'd been afraid of for his son. This was the moment of Superman's unmasking… and how odd that it was happening to me and not him! I was so deeply and terribly afraid of what this would mean for me… for Kal… for us. Someone who didn't love Kal knew the truth of his alter egos. The gig was up.

Would we be hunted? Was the place in Canada remote and well-hidden enough to protect us? Could I really just leave everything behind and follow him into the wilderness? Yes, yes I could. I wasn't afraid of it. My apartment and material possessions were nothing compared to losing Kal if he fled and I didn't follow. He could probably kill and cook a deer in one fell swoop. We could go off-grid, no problem. Being a wild human might be kind of cool.

I looked at Mr. Dallas in that endless thirty seconds, while his words hung heavy in the air, and I realized that I was getting ahead of myself. Did he really and truly know that Clark was Superman, or did he only suspect and was attempting to get me to confirm or deny the fact for him? I had to be careful. I couldn't betray Kal by giving away something, but if my boss was sure about it, I'd only paint myself in a really bad light if I tried to lie to him.

I was proud of myself. I knew my face was carefully blank, as it always was on the occasions when I sat beside Dallas in a courtroom. My tone was even, if a little quiet, and I held his green eyes without flinching.

"And why do you think Mr. Kent is also Superman?" I finally asked, turning his game around on him.

Let's play courtroom, Mr. Dallas. You taught me everything I know.

Dallas got up. With a very grave look on his face, he retrieved a laptop from one of the cabinets behind his desk. He sat back down in the armchair to my right, and spoke as he opened it and turned it on.

"Three and a half years ago," Dallas began, "building security brought to my attention what they thought might be some sort of electrical short or glitch in the surveillance system… or even, possibly, a ghost in the stairwell. It was a multicolored blur that seemed to appear at completely random times… but never below the eighty-second floor, and never after building shutdown."

The Planet was on eighty-two.

"So, that was where I started. I wanted to know what was going on in my building. After all the cabling and electrical in the stairwells checked out fine, I installed a few different kinds of cameras. A thermal, an infrared… and a high-speed."

My heart sank. I knew what was coming. A high speed camera. Kal knew the cameras that were usually in the stairwell couldn't capture him when he moved at top speed. He must not have noticed when Dallas installed the others! Because a camera that could show the exact second a bullet burst a balloon, while the water inside still hung suspended in midair…

"It was the high-speed that got him, as I'm sure you can imagine," Dallas said, setting the laptop on the high coffee table and turning it so I could see.

It was a picture, clearly of Clark… he still had his glasses on and his hair back… but he was pulling open his black, long sleeve, button up shirt. Underneath, the blue belly of his suit and the crest of El were clearly visible. Then the screen changed; it must have been a slideshow of the file. The second picture was of Kal wearing his normal shoes and black slacks… but the top half of the suit was already unveiled, his cape rippling halfway down his back, his curl falling forward and the glasses gone.

I remembered that I had two fingers of ice cold scotch in my hand, and I drank it all in three quick swallows. There was a third picture, and a fourth… different outfits, different stages of undress. I'd been privy to enough lawyering to know I was looking at photographic proof that Clark Kent was, indeed, Superman.

But I saw a ray of hope when I remembered the first words Dallas had spoken. Three and a half years ago. He'd had these pictures for that long and Superman's real identity had remained unknown… at least to the general public.

"You've had these pictures for three years?" I finally asked.

"Yep," Dallas said. His face was as carefully expressionless as mine.

"Who have you told?" I asked, flatly.

"Not that it's any of your business," he said, blustering a little before his face gentled. "But… nobody."

My windpipe opened up a little. "Really? Absolutely no one?"

"Not a soul," he said. "Not until now."

"Why?" I always wanted to know why. It was the first important question I asked Kal, too.

"Because I like having him here. I'm sure you know how much good he's done for this city. Even in our firm, a lot of our criminal teams are being forced to move into contract or real estate or corporate law. And if a fire breaks out… or someone ever tries to bomb the building…"

Dallas knocked on the wooden end of his chair's arm. "…he's here. People that would otherwise die in a big building like this, they'll live. And if I made this knowledge public… if I'd ever tried to approach him with it… I had the feeling he'd leave."

I couldn't help but nod. I didn't say it aloud, but he was absolutely right. If he'd approached Clark last year, Superman wouldn't have been around to save me. It started to reaffirm my belief that all this was somehow meant to be, and bigger than just Kal and I. Because Dallas was one of the most powerful men in the city… and he'd kept Superman's secret.

Kal might stand to gain a powerful ally. I let myself have a little more hope.

"Well, Dallas, I'm sure he would want me to thank you for not going anywhere with this."

My boss finally smiled, allowing emotion to crack his schooled façade. "This laptop's never been connected to the external internet and the wifi signal that transferred the original footage is heavily encrypted. It only fed to my desktop, which has PGP protocol installed on it, and those files were deleted when they were moved. I only had the cameras up for a couple months, they're long gone."

"Thanks for that too," I said, finding a smile to give him back. "And… to answer your first question… I've known since day one. He's never kept it from me."

Judging by Dallas' expression, he was floored by the fact. I found I was a little too good at being basically honest without discussing everything.

"But I'm afraid that's the absolute limit of what I can tell you. You know who he is, and the nature of my relationship with him. And you know that I know. That's all I can say."

He nodded. "I don't suppose I expected you to tell me much. You'd make a good attorney; you know when to keep your game face and when to cut the bullshit."

I chuckled a little. "Thank you, but what you've got on that laptop is clear as day. There's no sense trying to convince you that you're not seeing what you're seeing."

And then I frowned. "What… Are you ever going to do anything with this information?"

He got the strangest look on his face… it was hopeful. I'd never seen that expression on Dallas. It was oddly personal after seven years as his employee. He was a great boss: it was clear he had grown his family fortune through hard work and prudent management. He never raised his voice at any of his employees, always understood if any of us needed leave or assistance, and offered his legal services without charge to anyone in the firm who found themselves on the wrong side of the line. He was amicable and approachable. But we'd never been… friends.

"Well, Evelyn… you mind if I call you Eve?" he asked suddenly.

"Not at all, Dallas," I replied.

"Thanks," he said with a nod. "I want to talk to him, Eve. You're his girlfriend…" he paused, as if somehow he'd forgotten that the fact that I was dating a reporter named Clark Kent had started this whole conversation and was now star-struck by it.

"You're his girlfriend, maybe you could get him to talk to me and not disappear without a trace afterwards."

I couldn't help being a little suspicious of Dallas and protective of Kal. "Talk to him? Why? About what?"

"Easy, Eve," Dallas laughed, putting his hands up. "I don't know if people realize this… but I spend more time at this office than I ever have at my house. I actually have a suite of rooms on 102 that I stay in when we've got big cases going to trial. This building… this firm… this is my home. This is who I am."

I nodded. It was understandable that someone like Dallas would feel that way. And admirable that he valued it in the way he seemed to.

"It's not possible for me to be acquainted with all the people who work in this building, there's just too many. But the people in this firm… they're basically my family, too. Delores, who's been with me for twenty five years… Carla's been here for almost thirty, and Wallace has been practicing law for fifty-one years out of that same office. He worked with my Dad."

Carla Wise was a legendary paralegal on the Capital Murder defense team, and probably could have passed the bar cold any day of the week. Wallace was, of course, Wallace Anderson Deborou III, esquire, whose name was also on our letterhead.

"Even you, Eve," Dallas said with a small smile, "you're twenty eight, aren't you?"

I nodded.

"You're the same age as my daughter, then. And if she'd turned out anything like you, I'd be proud as hell of her. I bet your parents tell you that all the time."

I winced. "They died in an accident when I was twelve, Dallas."

"Oh." Dallas said, momentarily taken aback. And then he smiled. "Well, even if they can't tell you so, I'm sure that they're still proud of you."

I felt the hot tears stinging my eyes. It felt really good to hear, and moved me deeply.

Dallas took my glass and his, and went back to the bar as he spoke, courteously giving me a moment to get a handle on my emotions and blink the tears back.

"I don't know if he has any family. I don't know if anyone looks out for him. And somehow he's wound up here in my house," Dallas said, referring to Kal, as he poured us each two more fingers. "I want him to know that he's welcome here. If he somehow loses his job with the Planet, I'll find something for him to do… hell, he'd be perfect for security! And I'll never fire him for disappearing occasionally during his shifts."

I was speechless. When Kal heard this part… this was going to convince him that he didn't need to run. It would be the first time in his life that a human had known what he was capable of… and without even knowing why he could do it… wanted to help him. Wanted him around, and welcomed him. I accepted my scotch gratefully, and this time sipped at it slowly. How had someone like Dallas been hiding under my nose all this time? My opinion of my boss had been high already, but it was rocketing upwards.

"I'm a very wealthy man, Eve. I have more money than I could spend in the rest of my life if I tried. In the wrong hands, power like his could do a lot of damage. But he uses it to pull people out of burning buildings, and to find bombs before they can detonate… to protect us. If there's anything I can do to repay him for that, on behalf of this city, I want to."

I found that I was fighting back tears for the second time, and my voice was thick with emotion when I finally managed to reply.

"Okay, Dallas. I think I can get him to talk to you without bailing."

He smiled… I'd known the man for seven years and I'd never seen him smile so brightly. Like a kid walking into a candy store and being told to go nuts.

"I have an idea," I said, even as it was forming in my head.


I sat back down at my desk twenty minutes later and wiggled my mouse to wake up my computer. As it came to life, I picked up my phone and sent a text to Kal.

Are you in the office?

Almost immediately, I got a response.

Yep at my desk. Why?

I need you in my office in fifteen minutes. Drop whatever you're doing. I fired back.

Uh ok why?

Just get up here. I replied.

The documents I'd prepared had just finished printing when Kal walked in without knocking. He looked worried.

"What is it, Evie?"

I gave the dark-haired man what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Sit down, Clark," I said, patting the second rolling chair I had in my office, which I'd rolled around next to mine. The big windows were behind me, a lush fern on a stand to my right side. I laid the papers out for him.

"This is a retainer agreement. It's standard issue for the firm, with the exception that in your case, Mr. Dallas is waiving his usual retainer fee."

Kal lifted an eyebrow and stared holes into me. "Evelyn, what the fuck is going on? Your boss wants to be my attorney right now? Why?"

I shook my head. "Sign this first. That way anything that is said between you and anyone who works in this office is protected by attorney-client privilege and no court can force its disclosure. It's for your protection, and mine, and Mr. Dallas'."

Kal looked horrified. I handed him a pen and pointed to the line. He signed it Clark Kent. Then he set the pen down and looked at me sternly.

"Now tell me."

I pulled the arm of his chair and turned him to face me, pulled us together until our knees were touching. I took both of his hands in mine and smiled up at him.

"You probably already know this, Kal, but I love you."

His face changed. The sunlight on his right cheek brightened him, made that smile shine like something holy, and he touched my left cheek. His hand was warmer than the light on the other.

"And I love you, Evelyn," he said softly, forgetting to be worried. He kissed me once, gently… but it was as if the sunshine that bathed us was suddenly focused through him and burning into me, illuminating every corner of my being. Then he kissed my forehead, right where the third eye lay, and sat back.

It was a moment I hated to destroy, but the information on the tip of my tongue couldn't wait to be disclosed. I had already dropped the atomic bomb, and it had already hit the ground. First came the flash of light that I found in our kiss… and now for the shockwave that would obliterate everything… wipe the slate clean…

"Then because you love me, Kal, you need to trust me and not jump out that window when I tell you the next part. Take a deep breath."

His face fell, and he obeyed me… his chest expanded as he drew the air in…

"My boss has known for three years that Clark Kent is Superman."

And his chest collapsed as the air rushed out of him, powerfully enough to sweep my hair back from my shoulders, like I'd punched him in the gut hard enough to hurt him. I still had both of his hands clutched in both of mine, and squeezed them as hard as I could. I hoped he felt it.

"Take another big breath in, Kal. Keep breathing. It's okay. It's all going to be okay."

"How is this going to be okay?!" he demanded, staring at me in shock. He did obey me though, and took another big breath in.

"Think about it. He's known for more than three years… and has anything happened so far?"

He blinked, and thought about it. "…no. It hasn't."

"What would the people in the shelter have done, Clark, if they'd seen you save your Dad?"

He just looked at me. There was so much emotion in him, I couldn't identify one before another passed across his face, flashed in his eyes. After a long few seconds, it settled into exactly what I'd seen on Dallas' face not long ago. Hope.

"Maybe… nothing."

"Or maybe," I said, smiling, still holding on to his hands for all I was worth, "they would have wanted to thank you for saving the little girl, too."

He was still breathing. He was still sitting in the chair, he hadn't shattered the glass window, leapt out into space, and left me far behind. That was a big step in the right direction. Kal had turned a frightening shade of grey, however, and looked faintly nauseous.

"How did he find out?" Kal asked.

"You know that regular cameras can't catch you clearly when you move really fast… but they catch something. At first, security thought it was an electrical short or faulty camera cables. Mr. Dallas is the building owner, after all, so they brought it to his attention. He had someone come out to check all the electrical wires and the camera system, but they couldn't find anything wrong. He thought maybe there was a ghost."

Kal smiled a little, faintly. It was good that he could smile.

"The phenomenon had never appeared below the eighty-second floor, so he started there and intended to work his way up. He installed a thermal camera, an infrared camera… and a high-speed camera."

"Oh, shit," he breathed.

"Yep. Mr. Dallas has photographic evidence that Clark Kent is Superman. He showed it to me."

"And why did he do that?" Kal asked, clearly still trying to bend his brain around what was happening.

"I've only asked for vacation twice in my seven years here, and he asked what the occasion was. I said I was taking a trip with my boyfriend to meet some of his family."

His dark head nodded, but his eyes were wary. I told him the conversation word for word, right up until Dallas hit me with the big guns.

"Did you pass out when he asked you that?" Kal queried, only half-joking.

I laughed. "Nope, I did good. I put my game face on and asked him why he thought that. He told me the story of the stairwell ghost and showed me the pictures."

"What else did he say?" Kal asked.

"He said a lot… the only other thing I told him about you was that you'd never kept your secret identity from me. Which is true. I've always known you were Superman… but I didn't tell him you were wearing the suit when I met you."

I paused to search his eyes before I continued.

"He said he wants to talk to you. He did before, but he was afraid that if he approached you, you would bail."

Kal raked a hand through his dark hair. "He was right, I would have."

"You remember the Escape Route, don't you?" I asked gently. He nodded slowly.

"I don't think it's any coincidence that my boss… who also just so happens to be one of the most powerful men in the city of Metropolis… knew who you were and kept your secret. If I hadn't mentioned you casually in passing, you might never have found out that someone else could reveal you. I've known him longer than I've known you, and he's known about you longer than I have."

I squeezed the one hand he hadn't taken from me, and he squeezed back, looking into my eyes.

"He convinced me that it would be a good thing for you to talk to him. Making you a client was my idea, so that you could sue the shit out of him if he ever told, and so that he couldn't be forced to give up any information if anyone ever came looking. He said I was brilliant for thinking of it."

Kal looked at me for a long moment… and then looked out the window. He let go of my hand and stood up, clasped his hands behind his back and looked out over the city. My firm occupied the hundredth floor of the building, and there was no leased space above us. The view was spectacular. I would have had to change offices if I'd had any fear of heights. With the city skewed beyond him, illuminated by the bright summer sun, seeing him in profile… even though he wore Clark's clothes and glasses… I could see Superman in him just then.

Superman wasn't completely a shield or an act. Superman was more like Kal's public face; a movie star on the red carpet or a firefighter with all his gear on. They were one and the same, deep down. It was Superman's courage I saw as Kal took off his glasses and put them in the breast pocket of his long-sleeved royal blue shirt. Then he held out his hand to me.

I took it, and he pulled me into a tight hug. He just held onto me for a long time, and I rubbed his back and stroked his silky dark hair by turns.

At last, he said, "You really do love me, don't you Evie?"

"Of course. I'm sorry that something like this was what prompted me to tell you so… but I do. With all my heart."

He took hold of my biceps, and held onto me at arm's length, a rather serious expression on his face.

"If I talk to Mr. Dallas, and I think we need to run… would you go with me?"

"Without a doubt," I replied immediately. "I don't have anything here that I'd lose you over. If you really feel that's what's best, we'll go."

Kal gave me a small smile of relief, and as I laid my hand on his chest… right over his heart, over where the crest of El lay hidden beneath his clothes… I felt a powerful light shining through the window of my soul. It was hope; hope that Clark Kent was no longer strong enough to hold Kal-El back.

"So… when are we supposed to do this?" Kal asked, his smile vanishing. "Because I don't know how long I can handle thinking about it."

I nodded. "I definitely want to get it over with as soon as possible, and Dallas has waited a long time for the chance to meet you. So… whenever you're ready…"

Kal looked grave, like a soldier preparing to jump out of a plane into an active war zone.

"Now's fine, but I need to stop at the restroom first."

"Okay," I said, hitting print again on my computer for a second copy of the documents.

"I had you sign this first agreement here as a precautionary measure, but you and Dallas will have to sign a copy in front of Delores for it to be really enforceable. Since you and I have a personal relationship, it's a conflict of interest for me to witness and notarize the document myself. Delores will have to."

Kal nodded. He was trusting in me to protect him… which was a weird sensation, since he was the one with the superpowers.

"Dallas isn't going to say a single word about what you and I have discussed until this document is signed and notarized, and Delores has left the room. Delores has been his secretary for twenty-five years, and he trusts her with everything. Furthermore, client confidentiality is one of the cornerstones of this firm's reputation. Nobody in this office is ever going to redisclose anything they may see or hear, even if they wouldn't be subject to huge fines and jail time for doing so."

He watched stoically as I gathered the modified retainer agreement and put it into a black folder with our firm's logo emblazoned in gold on the front. I powered down my computer and gathered by big black bag which had my wallet-style purse and my empty lunchbox inside. I gestured for Kal to precede me out of my office, turned off the lights and locked it behind me. I showed him to the nearest restroom and waited a few minutes. When he emerged, damp curls revealed that he'd needed to splash his face and neck with cool water.

I smiled at Delores as Kal and I walked into the area that was both Mr. Dallas' waiting room and her office. Smoothly, wordlessly, she picked up the silver stamping device which was her notary seal, and followed us inside.

Dallas was standing when Kal, Delores and I entered the room. He smiled broadly, and offered Kal his hand.

"Mr. Kent," he said warmly, "it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Dallas," Kal replied, in a cool sort of tone that made it clear he hadn't decided yet whether or not it really was nice to meet him.

That was Superman, right there.

"Evelyn, you have the retainer agreement?" Mr. Dallas asked.

"Yes, sir," I replied, opening the folder to reveal the signed one and the blank copy.

"Please, everyone, have a sit," Dallas bid us. Kal and I took the loveseat while Dallas and Delores took the armchairs. "Mr. Kent, if you would be so kind as to let my secretary have a look at your driver's license to verify your identity?"

Kal nodded, pulled out his wallet and procured the ID card for Delores. She looked at it, looked at him, and handed it back.

"Now, Mr. Kent," Dallas began, all business. "I'm sure my paralegal has told you what this retainer agreement entails, but I'm going to go over it again for the record."

I thought Kal's eyes were going to bug out of his head, but I patted the back of his hand gently and gave him a look that I hoped said 'relax'.

"This is a simple retainer agreement. What this means is that you and I have agreed that I will represent you as your attorney in any future legal matters for which you may be in need of council. As you currently have no legal action pending against you, I am waiving my standard retainer fee. Please do read it before you sign, and if you have any questions I'm happy to answer them."

I saw Kal take a deep breath in and exhale it slowly. He took the agreement that Dallas offered him and did as my boss had bid, reading it carefully. In the meantime, the older blonde man went to his bar and set out three glasses.

"Anyone else want a drink? Delores, it's almost closing time… you want a gin and tonic?"

She smiled a little. Her hair was dyed platinum blonde to cover the silver grey beneath, but the wrinkles showed clearly on her face. Delores had been an older woman when she'd come to the firm, and was nearing her retirement.

"Sure, boss," she said amicably.

Kal had said 'please' in response to the question, absently, as he flipped pages in the agreement. Dallas made two trips, one with his own scotch and the gin and tonic for Delores, and the second trip with a bottle of water for me, as I'd turned down a third drink before leaving the office previously, and a scotch on the rocks for Kal, too. There were four fingers in Kal's glass.

Delores downed her drink pretty quickly as Kal finished reading.

"This all seems fine to me, Mr. Dallas," he said at last, flipping the first page back over.

The attorney nodded, and handed Kal a pen. He signed Clark Kent, as he had before, and slid the agreement back to Dallas, who put his own signature in the line next to Clark's. Below, Delores signed her name and filled in her notary commission information, then picked up her seal. She slid the paper between the two rubber circles at the end and pressed them firmly together, raising the paper itself. She walked over to Dallas' desk to make a copy, put the original in an office file that she carried out with her, and put the copy in the black folder for Kal. She emptied her glass in the bar sink and then started out.

"Anything else for me today, Dallas?"

"No ma'am," he said, shaking his head and smiling at her. "Have a good night and I'll see you tomorrow morning."

She nodded at him and then, briefly, at Kal and I. "Mr. Kent, Ms. Woods."

And then she left the room, closing the door behind her. All of a sudden the tension in the air was so thick it could have repelled a knife, and needed a two-handed broadsword to be cut. Kal was the source: it radiated out from him in waves.

I hadn't prayed in a long time, not since I stopped believing in a sentient God. I didn't pray when Jewel died, nor before I leapt from the very building in which I sat. I prayed then, but not to any God of Earth. I prayed to the lost souls of Krypton, that they would guide and protect their Last Son through this… whatever the outcome would be. Kal surprised me by twining the fingers of his left hand into the digits of my right, and he held on as hard as he could without crushing the bones inside. I glanced at him sideways and saw him take a big breath in… let it out slowly…

Then Dallas couldn't take the silence anymore. I could see the eagerness in his green eyes. He stood up, and offered Kal his hand again.

"I couldn't say this before, Mr. Kent, but it's not just a pleasure to meet you… it's actually an honor."