Chapter 9: If Tomorrow Never Comes
Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart
Waking up with Dean staring at her, his green eyes intently looking down into her blues, was something she always wanted to remember. It was as if he was memorizing her face, the way each feature moved with sleep and when she was awake. She should have been frightened, been angry that his thoughts were morbid, that he thinking of the time he had left and how it was surely running out. But Allie could do no such thing for she often would look at him, cementing the way his eyes would light up whenever she was close to him, or the way his smile would etch itself across his face whenever his thoughts went astray, so that once he was gone she could remember why she had fallen in love with Dean Winchester. She pulled the sheet closer to her bare body as her eyes broke away from his, searching the room for any other occupants as her cheeks grew red with the knowledge that Sam could have easily walked in on them at any point during their escapades of the previous night. "Where's Sam?" Dean's chuckle rippled through him as his arms still remained securely around her, catching her eyes once more. "I asked him to stay out last night." She didn't know what to do, how to feel. Should she be angry with him for thinking that he could easily get her into bed, which he did, or should she be grateful that he thought ahead? It didn't matter now, seeing as everything was said and done, and Allie adopting a new outlook on the time spent with Dean, didn't want to say anything. She was going to stop fighting with him, stop letting everything be thrown out of proportion so that she could enjoy whatever time was left for them. "It was all part of the plan," he replied with a coy grin, capturing whatever attention that had been lost from Allie. "Oh so you planned to give me your ring and that I would fall hopelessly into your arms and let you take me to bed?" He gave her look as his smile grew, one that was all knowing. "Yeah. Pretty much." She let her hand fall onto his chest as she leaned forward, her lips meeting his in a desperate attempt to learn by heart the feeling that took her over whenever he captured her in his kiss.
If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
"Al, there's something I want to say to you." His words frightened her more than anything else. She had accepted the fact that Dean Winchester would never indulge her in the truth for his actions, whatever feelings he harbored for her would never be stated out loud, just assumed about their existence. Sam had even told her that throughout all of Dean's life he never heard of one woman, apart from Cassie, who Dean had shown any true affections for. And Cassie was the only woman he'd loved. She knew all about her from Sam, Dean never having the courage to speak to Allie about his past with women. She had to imagine what it was like, to be one of those girls who just let him claim her for a night to turn around and leave the next day without another chance of seeing him. I was one of those girls. For the briefest of moments, Alison Jane Harper had been just another entry into Dean Winchester's black book. Just another girl he could add to his list, but it all changed when she began to travel with them. Granted Dean had virtually ignored her for her first few days, followed by their desperate attempts to hide each one of their feelings for the other until finally Allie was fed up. But never in all of that did Allie expect to hear what came out of Dean Winchester's mouth. "I know that I've been an ass to you and that I couldn't stand the fact that the thought of you kept me awake at nights. I hated what you were doing to me and I didn't understand. There was only one woman who had that effect on me before and Allie, you have to understand that it didn't end how I wanted it to. I couldn't take it if the same thing happened between you and I so I kept up the wall, as you call it. I still hate it, doing this, letting you know my feelings but you need to know. Because when I wake up and see those hell hounds, or whenever I finally go, I don't want to regret the fact that I never let you in, that I never told you the truth. I've been through it all before and I know it hurts a hell of a damn lot whenever you don't know the truth, when you keep things inside so Allie, you have to know. I love you, and even after I'm gone and you think the world is closing in on you, know that I'll still love you, always." She didn't care that her mind was screaming at her that something was wrong, that Dean didn't say 'I love you' to women, that he just used them. She didn't care that her heart would get broken, and that she wouldn't be able to love again because in that moment, all she cared about was him. She brought her hands to either side of his face as she let her lips linger upon his, smiling before losing herself in him. "I love you," she muttered as she let him flip her over, Dean hovering above her and taking everything that she had.
'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel
If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
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Okay so, what his was was a mix between the Mikaela/Sam thing in Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen and a song called If Tomorrow Never Comes. It's just a filler that I thought of while writing the next chapter, which should be up shortly. Hope you like it J
