Chapter 8: Burden

Day 1; 2:01 P.M. …Still.

Alice was the first to walk into the kitchen with two arms full of grocery bags that she set on the counter Esme had spent the entire conversation cleaning. "Thank goodness we're home. I couldn't spend another moment with these two bickering." She nodded her head towards Edward and Jasper and winked at me in a loving and happy manner.

The simple gesture made my heart wince. It pained my chest to see her like this, only because I know she's hiding it. I know she's hiding how she really feels. She is yearning for Jasper and for him to want her back. I stole her husband all because I thought she stole mine.

Edward opened his mouth to say something, but Alice interrupted before he could utter a single syllable. "Come, Bella." She reached out and grabbed me gently by the wrist. "The wedding is three days from today and we have absolutely nothing. No flowers, no cake, no dress!" As she pulled me through the house, I stared back at the disappointed expressions on Edward's and Jasper's faces. "I hope you've gotten enough rest today, with all the fainting and what not, because you're going to need it for the long night ahead of us."

We both slipped into her canary yellow Porche that Edward had bribed her with months ago. The car pulled out of the excessively long driveway and onto the road.

"I don't hate you, Bella." Alice announced while breaking the complete silence that had formed between us. She continued to keep her eye on the road ahead.

I looked down into my lap. "Why?" I murmured.

"Because I just want you to be happy, Bella. I know you've been getting that a lot for the past hour or so, but that's probably what you're going to be hearing constantly for the next three days."

"But, Alice, I know how much you love Jasper…"

"Bella, you never know. If you choose Jasper, this could be the start of something new for all of us. And even if you choose Edward, I'm not sure if Jasper would ever come around to speaking to me again."

"That's why I don't understand why you don't hate me. I have the power to change all of our lives by making one decision."

"You wouldn't even have to make this decision if Edward and I weren't so stupid."

"But it was an accident, Alice." I tried to reassure her.

She glanced at me for a second with a crooked smile, and then turned back to the road. "That's not how you felt two months ago, Bella."

I frowned and stared out my window, trying to hold back the tears by focusing on every tree we passed.

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry." Alice watched me. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, it's okay. You're right. What I said months ago was horrible. I should have listened to you both when you tried to tell me what happened. Maybe we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Hey, hey, now. This may be a mess, but this may be an opportunity for us to change things up; for me to…" She shook her head like she was trying to shake a thought out of her mind. "Oh forget it, Alice." She told herself.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, I just…" She glanced at me, then back at the road once again. "I've never told anyone this before. Not even Edward knows." I nodded, accepting the secrecy that had been obscurely dubbed onto me. She sighed and continued. "When I met Jasper, I knew he was going to be mine someday; he was the one I was going to spend the rest of eternity with. At least, I thought I knew.

"These past seventy years, give or take, have been filled with happiness and…well, uncertainty. I could never quite put a finger on the reason why I've always had this small tinge of unhappiness, not until last year, in September, when we left." My heard ached at the memory. "I was so very upset about leaving you, but the thing is, I could never show it. I was always too worried about laying my emotions onto Jasper. Then it dawned on me: I've never been allowed to feel sad around him.

"Now you see, because of this 'mess,' as you call it, I might be allowed to feel upset; feel disgusted; feel anything I want to without having to worry about the burden being put onto him, and without him trying to send me false emotions."

She paused a moment before adding one last thing. "Now do you see why I don't hate you?"

Day 1; 2:34 P.M.



A/N: So sorry that it has been literally forever, you guys, I truly am. This just to let you know I'm still alive. ;] Oh, and one last thing, I discontinued "Alone But Not Quite." I just didn't like that story anymore, I was getting tired of it. Sorry!