Know Your Smashers

Chapter 9: Captain Falcon


A certain F-Zero pilot took his place in the hot seat.

Know Your Smashers...Know Your Smashers...Know Your Smashers...

"Alright, let's get this party started!"

Captain Falcon...his catchphrase is "Show me the booze".

"Uhh, actually it's "Show me your moves", man." Falcon corrected. "You know, the phrase that I always use?"

...Sorry, never heard of it. Captain Falcon...is a gay man.

"No way, man. I'm a ladies man all the way. I just love it when women swoon over my...FALCON PECS!" Falcon suddenly shouted, much to the announcer's annoyance.

Alright, enough with that s**t. Captain Falcon...was arrested six times.

"No, I wasn't man. I've never been arrested in my life."

It's probably from all that booze they show you.

"Alright, that's it, buddy. You're about to get...FALCON OWNED!"

I don't think so.

"What you talking 'bout, man?"

Get him, officer!

Then out of nowhere, a police officer came and used his baton and hit Falcon right in a certain area. He howled in pain and collapsed to the floor, grabbing onto his lower area in pure agony.

Looks like you've been beat right in the...FALCON NADS!

"Ooh, my balls! It hurts so bad!"

Now you know Captain Falcon. Remember, show him the booze!

"That...is not...my catchphrase!" Falcon growled as he continued to roll around on the ground in agony.