A/N: So, I'm going to make a deal with you. From here on out, every time I get a review, I'll write and upload another chapter... within a day or two if I can manage it. Oh, and this chapter is for claire96 for her ultimate faithfulness.
Pansy POV
I watched Granger, in my body, stalking out of the Slytherin common room. I hurried up to her.
"Granger." My voice came out low and irritated.
"What, Parkinson?" she sounded tired.
"Look, you're ruining my reputation. I've heard some Slytherin kids wondering why I wasn't hooking up with anyone. You need to get it together and start acting like me."
"Well, you're not doing such a great job. Everyone's been asking what's wrong with Looney Lovegood."
"Not my fault that I don't understand what a Crumple-Horned Snorkack is."
"No, people… I- have seen you making out with random boys in the hallway. This simply cannot go on. You must start acting like Luna."
"Well, then, you have to act like me. Deal?"
"Deal." I held out my hand, and Granger shook it. Then she walked away, scowling. (A/N: I might write a companion explaining how Hermione acted like Pansy, but… it'll be rated M, probably, so… maybe not. Insight welcome!)
Neville POV
So it was my job to tell Hermione the truth. That I wasn't Malfoy and all that jazz. Glorious. I found her sitting in a niche in a wall with Malfoy, but she stood up when she saw me.
"Um Neville, I have to go. I'll talk to you later, okay?" I almost answered her, but then I realized that she was talking to Malfoy. Obviously she thought that he knew that I was in his body. Wow. That made less when spoken than it did in my head.
"Um, Hermione? I need to talk to you. Like pronto." I stared at Malfoy, who was shaking his head vigorously at me.
"What's up, Malfoy?" she snarled at me. "What is this important thing you had to tell me?"
"Um, can we go somewhere a bit more… private?" I gestured to Malfoy sitting in the alcove. Hermione nodded briskly and we walked off quickly. Once Malfoy was out of sight, I tried to speak, but found I couldn't. I heard a voice whisper in my ear. It said,
"Langlock. You aren't telling her anything." Then, "Imperio." And I was speaking.
"Look, Granger, you know that Potter is getting really suspicious? He's noticing everything. Looney and I are having to make out- MAKE OUT- to get him to relax. I want you to trade back with Looney. This has gone too far."
"Wait." She looked at me and frowned. "That would just make things far more awkward. Then you'd have to be kissing me and not Luna. And I don't desire the misfortune of your company."
"Well, that's your misfortune, I suppose." I smirked, unable to stop myself. Finally the spell's effects began to wear off and I shook my head vigorously. But Hermione was already walking away with a confused expression on her face. "Wait! Hermione!"
"What?" she whirled around and glared at me.
"Someone Imperiused me! I didn't want to say that! Malfoy and I traded! I'm Neville!" I pleaded with her, but she just snorted.
"That's low, Malfoy. That's really low. 'Someone Imperiused me?' Not likely. They'd have to have an invisibility cloak. And the only person who has one in this whole school is…"
"Harry Potter," I breathed. This was getting weirder and weirder.
Draco POV
Getting the invisibility cloak had been difficult, but it was worth it. Now all I needed was a Time-Turner, and my plan would be complete. As long as Hermione was casting Neville under suspicion, she would never be suspicious of me. That was one of the wonderful qualities she possessed, one of many. Stop. Did I just think that NO I DID NOT. I hate myself. Damn this stupid newfound conscience. Where did IT come from? I ran back to the alcove just as Hermione was returning there herself. I threw the cloak off and smiled at her.
"What was that about?"
"Malfoy is such a… oh for Merlin's sake, I can't even think of a strong enough word."
"Dog? Venomous Tentacula?"
"That might be it." She grinned at me. "Love the Herbology references."
"Thanks." I made my best effort to blush. I don't think it worked. "So what'd he want?"
"Well, first, he basically told me that Harry was getting suspicious, so Luna and I needed to trade out, which makes absolutely no sense because that's implying that he likes me and," her voice rose slightly, "that's not possible because Malfoy doesn't like anyone but his own stupid self and that Pansy girl who I have the misfortune to be stuck in the body of, and," she was nearly in hysterics now, "then he claimed that he had been Imperiused and that he was really you, Neville, and…" her voice broke. "I just don't know what to make of it all. I really like you, Neville, but he just… makes me go weak at the knees, except when he's being a… Venomous Tentacula, I suppose you'd say."
"There, there." I patted her awkwardly on the head. "Surely, since I'm in his body, then I've got some of that charm, too?"
"Yeah. Definitely. It's there." She shook her head and laid it on my shoulder. It felt good. No it didn't. It felt wrong, and it made my stupid conscience twinge.
