Chapter 8-Sitting Ducks
Monday August 23, 2004 0700hrs Wesson Osea, White Oak High School
Today was the first day of school and already I could feel the dread coming from everyone as I walked into the main hallway. As soon you entered the main entrance, the main office was on the right and one of the entrances to the gymnasium was on the left. Further down the hallway was the band room on the left side too and the cultural arts building, along with the choir room were on the right side. At the end of the hallway was the entrance to a small courtyard that was bordered by the Spanish and science halls. The entrance on the opposite side of the main hall led to the one of the math hall. At the opposite end of the math hall was the library and English hallway. The hallway that ran parallel to the math hall was the science hallway and it was connected by half of the social studies hallway and the breeze way that led to the lunch area. The first place that I had to go was the weight room which was located behind the gym. It was actually considered a class and I took it just to fill up my schedule for the first semester. The coach was my favorite teachers in the whole school, Marshal Smith. He was a retired Army paratrooper who served with the 101st airborne. Coach Smith was awesome. He ran the class kind of like a military unit, but without yelling insults most of the time. Unlike everyone else I knew in the military, he actually had a sense of humor. His class consisted of guys and girls, but we were usually kept separated unless we had to do exercises with partners or when we had to run on the track. It wasn't until I entered the weight room and found a spot on the floor that I realized Miranda was in the same class as I was. She smiled at me and I gave her an annoyed wave. We did our workout until we had to go to our next class. I had to take pre-calculus so that way the college I planned on applying for would give me more consideration when they decided on whether or not to accept me. I was lucky that my friend, James Lewis, was in the class with me. He was a tall light skinned black guy, with beady eyes and a monotone voice. He planned on becoming a nuclear physicist for the Navy when he graduated college and he had a passion for music.
"Hey, I think the new girl is checking you out," he said to me.
I looked over my shoulder to see Miranda looking directly at me with a smile. "Ah crap," I muttered.
"What? She's fine as hell man. You should get with her."
"Did you see what happened to the library?" I asked and James nodded. "She and I got into a fight that resulted in all that damage."
"Yeah right, you'd never hit a girl."
"Only if she tried to kill me, but besides that, I work with her."
James didn't believe me, but I honestly didn't expect him to. My math teacher was crabby old lady named Ms. Richardson. She reminded me of a witch with how short and chunky she was. Not only that, her wig did a bad job of adding appeal to her makeup caked, wrinkly face. She was good at her job, but none of her students really liked her. The same couldn't be said about my English teacher, Mr. Greer. He was another teacher that I like, but his methods in teaching literature had gotten him into a lot of trouble over the years. I guess that's why everyone liked him so much because he usually brought up the sexual aspects of literature; kids our age thought about nothing but sex. Yue was in my class and I ended up having to sit next to her. I counted myself lucky that I didn't have Miranda in this class, but I still had to deal with her during lunch. Then I had Marching Band with her and the rest of my other friends. Band Camp had already started on the ninth of this month and I had lost a lot of respect for my band director. His ego was starting to get on everyone's nerves because he took marching band too seriously. This used to be a fun class, but now it was all about making sure we were the best. Everyone felt the same way I did and as a result, everyday so far had a sense of apathy in the air. We could only go through the movements of our drill until we were dismissed for the day. While everyone was packing up to go home, Miranda and I got ready for our shift in the library. The place was still being patched up and the only thing we had to do today was familiarize ourselves with everything. Other than that, there wasn't much that we could do and the head library attendant, Mrs. Bell, let us go early.
"Well, that was easy," said Miranda as she walked with me to the front parking lot.
"Things are only going to get more stressful from here on out," I replied.
"Way to see the glass half empty."
"It's what I do," I said indifferently. "Anyways, are you ready for the evaluation this weekend?"
"No, I don't think I'll make the cut."
"You say it like you don't care if you pass or fail."
"I honestly don't. Yeah, I volunteered for it but it's not like I was looking to go to war."
"Then why did you volunteer?"
"I overheard you and Major Harkin talking at the firework display last month and after I dropped you off, I asked him why you seemed so disinterested in everything. That's when I volunteered to join," said Miranda.
"Cool story, but you didn't answer my question," I said and Miranda rolled her eyes.
"I was ordered to bond with you and I thought that it'd be a good idea to join the Mobius initiative with you. Plus, I thought you were cute."
I gave Miranda the stink eye and walked away as she headed for her car. Her fondness for me still made me uncomfortable and I didn't like it. She hung around me every chance she got and my friends took an automatic liking to her. I guess I'd have to be more social to understand why, but that had to wait. As I made my way to the stadium, I was wondering where Amanda had gone, but then I remembered that I told her to take the bus home so that she didn't have to wait up for me. I couldn't wait to hear about her first day of high school for some reason.
Saturday, August 28, 2004 1213hrs, 268miles west of Wesson, Osea
Today was the day that would determine whether or not we were combat ready. We had to destroy a certain number of targets within two minutes. Our AO was over Lake Murray and I could see a bunch of enormous barges floating in the water. They were big enough to be used as airfields, but the military used them as platforms to hold practice targets. The place was divided into three different areas that each of us would operate in. Our targets were dummy balloons and cargo containers that were set up in an S shaped path that flowed over the area. I was armed with four sidewinders, four AMRAAMs, four Mark 82 bombs, and explosive incendiary rounds in my gun. This was more ordinance than what I was used to and I quickly adapted to it as we got into position to start the test.
"Razor, you have to be quick on the draw when we're cleared to engage. I'm going to be moving pretty damn quick," I said.
"I got this, mate. You need not worry," he replied and I flew into position.
"Alright, Castillo, you should see the starting marker on your HUD," said Harkin. "Fly through it whenever you're ready."
I saw a holographic green hoop appear on my HUD. As I neared it, I closed my eyes and took a couple of quick deep breaths so that I could get my adrenaline going which allowed my reflexes to act with superhuman efficiency. This was another ability that I was given while I was in Pitbull. I was able to act and react ten times faster than the average person. Before that, I was trained to the point where I could react three times as fast than the average human. Combine that with the drugs I was given and I was able to almost predict things before they happened. The down side to this was that the increase in my heart rate could cause me to die due to a ruptured artery or something like that due to the stress. I was also told that with the regular use of this ability, my life expectancy was somewhere in my late forties to early fifties. The ability also allowed me to suppress pain more easily which was why Miranda and I were able to duke it out for so long in the library.
My perception of everything heightened and I gunned the engines as soon as I passed through the hoop. I was headed for the first three airships and saw that they were at the same altitude. Danny was quick to lock it up, but I didn't fire a missile at it. Instead, I flew directly at the first one I saw and fired my gun into it. There wasn't an explosion or any bright flashes of light. The airship pretty much just popped open and fell out of the sky. I quickly acquired the next target in line and opened up on it with my gun and repeated the process with the third balloon. The fourth balloon was a good distance away from me, towards my eleven o' clock and Danny had already locked it up for me, but I wasn't planning on using a missile. It was at a distance of seven hundred yards when I decided to open fire on it with my gun and saw it fall out of the sky. There was another group of three balloons at my ten o' clock and I had to pull a nine G turn while going over Mach one to get into a good enough firing angle on it. I was about three hundred yards away from it when I fired on it and I held the turn while I kept shooting to get the next two balloons in rapid succession and get the next two balloons in my sights. They were too far away for me to use my gun so I fired on both of them with my sidewinders when Danny locked onto them. I didn't even watch as my missiles flew off the rails and impacted their targets because I was already headed for the next group of targets.
My sidewinders could've found their mark, but I asked Rico to make some modification to my targeting systems so that I had less of a chance to miss my targets while I was in combat. I could only engage them from eight hundred sixty meters away while my gun sight only appeared when I was three hundred forty meters away. If I wanted to engage a target without my gun sight showing up, I had to use my best judgment which was pretty easy by the way. It was easy enough for me to actually engage the next three balloons as I pulled another wide nine G turn and fired at the balloons with my gun. I eventually came upon three more targets, but this time they were at different altitudes. I didn't have enough time to climb up and engage them as usual so I switched over to my AMRAAMs and fired on the three of them when I got within range. Up ahead was one of the large floating barges that had a row of ground targets on them. I quickly switched over to my bombs and dropped one on the middle target. My belief was that the blast radius of the bomb would be large enough to destroy the others that surrounded my primary target. Once I dropped the bomb, I nosed up to engage the next group of balloons. They were lined up perfectly so that I didn't have to maneuver into position to get to the next one. A single burst from my gun destroyed all three targets and I fired one of my remaining sidewinders. Once those things were taken care of, more ground targets appeared on my HUD and I dropped another bomb on them. I pulled back up to engage the next five balloons that were already lined up before I took out the next set of ground targets that were lined up in rows parallel to each other. I dropped the last of my bombs on them and acquired a lock on next set of balloons that were set up in an arc. I saw my last sidewinder hit the first target before I pulled another tight turn while I fired my gun into the other targets. When I leveled back out, I saw that I had only ten seconds left to get as many targets as I could before the test was over. Danny quickly locked onto the farthest target he could with my last AMRAAM and I fired once I had tone. Once it flew off the rail, I nosed down and began to strafe the remaining ground targets before I had to pull out and ceased firing. I leveled out and looked over the damage that I had inflicted over the area and I thought that I did pretty well for myself, but only time would tell if I did well enough for Harkin and his bosses to allow me to deploy next month.
"Holy shit, I didn't think you'd blow through those targets that quickly," said Danny.
"I told you we would," I said and I pulled up to gain some altitude over the rest of the training grounds. "So, Major, how come we couldn't do this over North Point?"
"They're in danger of becoming involved in the war and we need you kids alive. With the way things are looking right now, North Point can be attacked at any given moment."
I didn't say anything in response and I continued to circle the area as we waited for Miranda and Yue to finish their test. I watched both of them through my binoculars and saw that Miranda had improved since last time we flew together so I guess my advice and coaching really helped her out. However, she did worse than I did. On the other hand, Yue did as well as I did. She destroyed the same number of targets as me and I could hear Captain Ortiz praise her to the point that it kind of made me jealous. I didn't let it bother me that much because I was ordered to head back to Camp Curtis and call it a day.
1301hrs, Camp Curtis, Building 1
Danny, Miranda, Yue, and I were sitting outside the Major General's office as we waited for our test results. I was listening to the music I had installed on my phone while Miranda and Danny talked with each other, and Yue just read a book of poetry. While she was reading, I noticed that she always read a poetry book of some kind ever since I first saw her. She could've read anything else, but she always stuck to that specific genre of literature. The author of the book she was reading was Friedrich von Schiller, a famous eighteenth century German poet. I didn't know how to speak German so I couldn't follow along Yue's book when I glanced at it. The only languages I knew were English, Japanese, and Russian. If I counted sign language, then I knew a total of four languages. Anyways, as I continued to glance over at Yue, I couldn't help but wonder why she was reading that book. I assumed that she liked it, but she's never shown any interest in anything. She was even tougher to figure out than Miranda and the thing was, was that I kind of wanted to know what she was about. I slouched back in my chair and stared up at the ceiling for another four songs before Major Harkin and Captain Ortiz came out of the General's office with a bunch of folders in their hands. They handed me, Danny, and Yue six folders each and Miranda just sat there, wondering why she didn't get a stack of them.
"What are these?" I asked.
"These are the files of the others in the squadron you'll be assigned to. Read them to familiarize yourself with who you'll be working with," said Harkin.
"Am I going to share with Antonio or Yue?" asked Miranda.
"No, Stinson," said Ortiz.
"Why not," asked Miranda.
"Because, you didn't meet the qualifications," said Harkin coldly.
Miranda looked more disappointed than I thought she would. She shot the three of us a bunch of glances before she looked back at Harkin and Ortiz and got up to storm out of the building. I don't know what possessed me to go running after her in the hopes that I could make her feel better. I'd been talking with her all week since school started and I had gotten to know her a bit better, but her mentality was still an enigma to me. When I caught up to her at her car, I could see that she was sobbing as she dug her keys out of her purse.
"You know, I thought you'd be happy that you got rejected from all of this," I said.
"Then you obviously don't know me that well," she said.
"And whose fault is that?" I asked and Miranda glared at me. I knew it was partially my fault, but she had never been completely open with me either. "I offering to understand you for once and I suggest you spill it." Miranda looked at me with a bit of an infuriated glare and I slapped myself over my head for being insensitive. "Look, the way you've been acting lately tells me that you really didn't want to go to war like I do and now you're crying about it. I don't know what to think of you at this point and I'm about to give up completely. You can try and help me understand you a little more."
Miranda wiped the tears from her eyes and motioned for me to get in her car. As we drove off, my phone was blowing up with calls and text messages from Major Harkin. The first one I read said 'get back here' so I assumed that the others were pretty much the same message. I turned my phone off and turned my attention back to Miranda who was still trying to get herself under control. By the time she was able to calm down, we were halfway to my house and she still hadn't told me anything.
"There are still so many things that I haven't done with my life that I've always wanted to. I still haven't had my first kiss; I've never been to Italy or Emmeria, and I've never been able to nail a triple axel after three months of training," said Miranda. She's a figure skater….
"Well, now you have a better chance of doing all of that," I said trying to be supportive of her.
"That's not the point. My point is that you'll have less time to do anything like that."
"No, I've pretty much done everything I wanted in life and more," I said.
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah, being part of the Mobius initiative just gets me closer to my main goal."
"And, what's that?"
I looked at Miranda is disbelief because I thought she would've figured it out by now. "Are you that dense?" Miranda just glared at me again because I was still being insensitive. But this moment called for it since I told her and demonstrated my lack of a self-preservation instinct. "I'm trying to fulfill my death wish."
"Are YOU dense?! What the hell is wrong with you?" asked Miranda.
"First off, I've got a lot of issues that stem from anger issues that've developed since the attack. Secondly, I've been trained to be the perfect soldier who's still called upon to do someone's dirty work and I've had no say in it up until a month ago. Finally, I've seen what I've become and I think it's better if I died and saved everyone the trouble of dealing with me."
"Why don't you just change who you are?" asked Miranda.
"Because, I'll never change," I said. Harkin's words were buzzing around in my head even harder than before. I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to change and I started to think that I should just go out in a blaze of glory when I started my combat sorties.
"Everyone can change, but it's up to the person to decide on whether or not they want to change. Why don't you just try?"
"Because somewhere deep down inside, I'll always be the same asshole. Anyways, you still haven't answered my question yet. Why are you upset that you weren't selected?"
Miranda looked away from me like she didn't want me to know what her reason was, but I was determined to find out. "I don't want you to die." I couldn't understand why she told me this. It was my choice to do this and it was my choice to die, so why would she care?
"There's more reason as to why you don't want me to go and don't tell me it's because I'm cute," I said.
"It's not just that," said Miranda. "It's because I know there's more to you than we both think. You're morals are all twisted and they conflict with each other. You don't know what you would do in a situation until you experience it. You say that you don't fear death, but you fear the death of others around you. If you died, what would you think kind of danger your friends and family might encounter throughout the rest of their lives?"
I'd be dead and then it wouldn't be my problem. It was right then that I started to realize why I wanted to die so badly. I felt like everyone expected a lot out of me and that I would never know true freedom. I was everyone's 'go to guy'. I was still part of Project Pitbull and they still used me to get what they needed to get done. I volunteered for the DEA a couple years back but even before that, I was still called on to help with other things that weren't even my problem. Eventually, I had all I could take with everything.
"I just want to be happy," I whispered.
"You don't ever seem happy," said Miranda. "Every time I see you, I can only try and wonder what will make you happy. You're never happy and with an attitude like yours, you'll never be happy."
"I am happy… because, I want to die."
Miranda didn't say anything the rest of the way to my house. When she pulled into the drive way, she got out of her car and walked up to me while I was getting out and she slapped me across the face as hard as she could. I didn't flinch or try and block her attack because I didn't think that there was any reason as to why I should. But something caught my attention when she slapped me. "Why are you crying?" I asked, but she didn't answer me. She turned and got back into her car and drove off. She cares about me… why? I didn't give it much thought as I headed into my house and went to my room to look over the files that Harkin gave me. Along the way Amanda stopped me because she saw what happened when I got out of Miranda's car.
"Why did Miranda slap you?" asked Amanda.
"She finally figured out just how much of an asshole I am," I said.
"So, you're very first relationship lasted less than two weeks?"
"I guess so," I replied nonchalantly and I walked off to my room. I set the folders on my bed and opened them. They were profiles of the other pilots I'd be flying with and I guessed that I was supposed to look over them and get an idea of who I'd be working with. The first one I opened up was Yue's and most of it was blank. Yue's records had all been lost during the Belkan war and no one really knew who she really was. Harkin even told me that he suspected that Yue wasn't even her real name. It didn't matter if there wasn't any solid background on her; I just read the file anyways.
Name: Gogulski, Yue Shu
Call Sign: Shiro
Gender: Female
Date of Birth: unknown.
Age is suspected to be around sixteen or seventeen
Height: 5' 7
Weight: 109 lbs
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: White
Nationality: Belka
After her release from Project Pitbull, she was granted citizenship in Osea.
Profile: Narrow-minded and reclusive, Gogulski one of the most capable surviving subjects Project Pitbull produced. She's categorized in the Shepard class because of her versatility and quick adaptability. The nuclear fallout is suspected to have given her already heightened senses in addition to the experimental drugs that were administered to her in Project Pitbull.
The Shepard class, how many other categories were there? Which one did I belong to?
Name: Dahl, Klaus Erin
Call Sign: Ducky
Gender: Male
Date of Birth: April 13, 1979
Height: 6' 1
Weight: 186 lbs
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Blonde
Nationality: Usean
Rank: 1st Lieutenant
Profile: Born into an upper-class WASP (White Angelo Saxton Protestant) family, Dahl was raised in the high society life of San Salvacion where he was brought up to look down upon those who were lower in stature and avoid any affiliation with anyone who was deemed unworthy. Dahl has shown more signs of racism than shunning of people of the same race as him. Dahl attended the only Ivy League College in the city and joined the Air Force as a combat aviator. Psych analysis shows that he will sacrifice to ensure the completion of an objective. Recommended that he be paired with RIO Jason Frost to minimize conflict within the squadron
Great, just when I thought I didn't have to deal with any more racial tension outside of school, I have to work with this asshole. I suppose it could be worse.
Name: Frost, Jason Adam
Call Sign: Griffin
Gender: Male
Date of Birth: February 2, 1981
Height: 5'11
Weight: 192 lbs
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Brunette
Nationality: Ustio
Rank: 1st Lieutenant
Profile: Frost was raised in a lower-class neighborhood where he volunteered at homeless shelters and participated in extracurricular activities. He enlisted in the Ustian Air Force and went to college under the GI Bill and majored in mechanical engineering. Frost also has a criminal record that consists of small petty thefts and traffic violations. These charges weren't discovered until after he joined the military but he was never reprimanded for his deceitfulness. Psych analysis suggest that he may be more of a compulsive liar than he lets on to be.
Well, at least I've been trained to see through people's bullshit.
Name: Thatch, Thomas Tobias
Call Sign: Leo
Gender: Male
Date of Birth: December 22, 1978
Height: 6' 1
Weight: 203 lbs
Eye color: Brown
Hair Color: Black
Nationality: Osean
Rank: Captain
Profile: Thatch's family hailed from Zimbabwe back on Earth and they immigrated to the US in 1973. Thatch was born in Leesville, Louisiana where he took an interest in jazz music while he taught himself how to play the piano. He was a former Boy Scout who didn't make it past the rank of Star Scout, but he demonstrated his ability of being a natural leader. Although this might seem respectable, he is known to be very assertive when given a leadership role and is known to be somewhat pigheaded and compulsive.
At least this guy seems like someone who I can get along with.
Name: Glinka, Aleksandr Boris
Call Sign: Bear
Gender: Male
Date of Birth: August 11, 1980
Height: 5' 10
Weight: 233 lbs
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Brown
Nationality: Yuktobania
Rank: Junior Lieutenant
Profile: Glinka is known to his squadron mates as "The quiet big guy". He is extremely observant, a strategic genius, and can see the outcome of almost every scenario, whether it be tactical or practical. His quiet demeanor is not to be taken lightly. He was a volunteer for the Yuktobanian Prizrak (Ghost) Special Forces and later transferred into an air unit. It is recommended that he is paired with Colonel Fujima or Captain Thatch for maximum squadron effectiveness in coordination.
Why do people of Russian decent look so goddamn serious all the time? I thought I was one of them when I got out of that Pitbull facility.
Name: Fujima, Tetsuo Ryota
Gender: Male
Date of Birth: March 19, 1969
Height: 6' 1
Weight: 182 lbs
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Nationality: Osean
Rank: Colonel
Profile: Following a tradition that has dated back to Feudal Japan, Fujima joined the OADF as soon as he was old enough to enlist. After four years of school, he joined the officer's ranks and flew in the Belkan war. His formidable skill as a combat pilot has earned him a lot of praise, but it has led him to make it an obsession. During the end of the war, Fujima and his squadron ran into one of the remaining elite squadrons of the Belkan Air Force. Fujima's AWACS issued a retreat, but Fujima went against orders and engaged the enemy squadron. All but one of his men died before he broke off to RTB. After his wingman lectured him on his pride issues, Fujima mercilessly shot down and killed him. Fujima spent the next seven years in military prison for his actions, but was released due to his required leadership skills for an ISAF squadron. It is recommended that Fujima is kept a close eye on.
Jeez, this whole squadron seems like it's going to be dysfunctional for the rest of the war. Before I could think about how being part of this squadron was going to be a living hell, I heard my doorbell ring and Amanda answered it right away. I stuffed all the files in my bag and slung it over my back so that I could go and meet up with Dustin at his place. However, as I approached the front door, I saw Major Harkin standing there with an annoyed look in his eye.
"Let's go," he said and Amanda noticed his tone. I never told my family about how he stopped looking after me, but they knew Harkin was acting different towards me. I didn't say anything as I walked out the door and followed Harkin to his car. I had no idea where he was taking me and I was half expecting him to yell at me for not answering my phone earlier, but he didn't. We headed into the city and I just looked out the window with my bag in my lap the whole time. Eventually I pulled out the files again and I began to go over Yue's again for some reason. Her picture was what really caught my attention out of everything. There was no sign of any emotion in her eye, but she kept her self-image very appropriate. What struck me even more was that no one knew anything else about her. I could only assume that she was some kind of puppet who would be ordered to do whatever she was told. My attention was brought back to reality when Harkin made a sharp turn into a parking lot and came to a sudden stop in front of a gun store that was located way outside of the city in redneck territory. I slung my bag across my back and followed Harkin as he got out of the car and headed inside. The first thing I noticed was the foul smell of rotting venison meat in the air and a couple of redneck looking guys polishing some guns. They were the only two people in the store. One of them gave me an evil look and the other smiled at Harkin. "I told you to stop looking at me like that, Dale," said Harkin.
The guy who was smiling at Harkin turned his attention to me and looked at me the same way the other guy did. "Is this the kid?" he asked.
"Yeah, it's him."
"Hmm, I was expecting someone a little more…intimidating," said Dale.
"Hard to think that someone as pretty as her can cause you so much trouble," said the other redneck.
"That's a boy, Carl."
"Well shit, I thought guys were supposed to keep their hair short," said Carl.
I wanted to be a smart ass with them, but I chose to keep my mouth shut. "That's your opinion. Anyways what do you need, Nate?" asked Dale.
"I need to get him his first piece," said Harkin and I looked at him totally befuddled.
"I'm getting a gun?" I asked.
"ISAF won't issue you a sidearm, so you'll have to bring your own," whispered Harkin to me. I could still sense his disgust in me and I pretty much had it with him.
"I thought you said you weren't going to look out for me anymore?"
"I'm not. Pitbull is. They gave me orders to buy you a sidearm, now pick one and let's go!" I reached into my bag and pulled out the pistol I took from the bank heist to show Harkin. He didn't seem convinced. "Your airsoft pistol, are you that stupid?"
I proceeded to cock the gun and shoot one of the targets that were hanging on the wall. Needless to say that everyone in the store ducked for cover and I unloaded the pistol. "I don't need another gun. But if you're so insistent to buy me one, just buy me some of the upgrades I'd like." Harkin got up and looked infuriated at what I had just done. It was clear that he wanted to hurt me in a way, but then he looked at the M9 I had.
"Where the hell did you get this?" growled Harkin.
"I stole it off a guy who tried killing me the other day. And before you ask, he's already in jail," I retorted.
"Why do you have it?"
"He didn't need it anymore. Plus, it's not like I'm going to go on a killing spree or anything."
Harkin clenched his fists and let out a yell of frustration before he gave me wad of money and walked out of the gun shop. I approached one of the rednecks and handed him the M9. He asked me what upgrades I wanted and I told him. I sat in the corner of the store looking over everyone else's files while I waited for Dale to finish up. When he was done, I saw that my gun had been upgraded the way I wanted. I asked for a match grade barrel to increase the gun's already excellent accuracy and so that I could accommodate the full auto firing mode that was also equipped. The end of the barrel was threaded so that I could equip a suppressor or the recoil compensator that I also ordered. The last thing I got was a flashlight that I could mount under the pistol's barrel. The down side was that if I had it equipped with the compensator or suppressor, it would become too front heavy and reduce my control of the gun. I could still shoot it, but it was more weight than what I was used to in a gun. I made it a point to only equip one of the external attachments at a time. As soon as I had my gun, I went to the back of the shop where the indoor range was and fired off a few shots to get a feel for my 'new' gun. I liked the feel that the compensator had so I decided to keep that on the gun whenever I didn't need to use the suppressor. All of my shots landed dead center on my target and all of them went through the same hole as the first bullet. I still got it.
Saturday, September 18, 2004 1104hrs, Wesson Osea, White Oak High School Library
It's been three weeks since I've passed the combat qualification test and I haven't been deployed yet. Yue was called upon yesterday and she left at the end of school. Miranda hasn't spoken to me since she found out that she didn't pass the qualification test and I was just fine with that. We were placing the returned library books back on the shelf and I came across one of the poetry books Yue had checked out. I noticed that one of the pages had been folded at the corner and I flipped to it. It turns out that she marked a poem called "An Irish Airman Foresees His Death". I don't know what I was thinking as I sat down and read this poem, but it really got to me.
I know that I shall meet my fate
Somewhere among the clouds above;
Those that I fight I do not hate,
Those that I guard I do not love;
My country is Kiltartan Cross,
My countrymen Kiltartan's poor,
No likely end could bring them loss
Or leave them happier than before.
Nor law, nor duty bade me fight,
Nor public men, nor cheering crowds,
A lonely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the clouds;
I balanced all, brought all to mind,
The years to come seemed waste of breath,
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death
William Butler Yeats
After I read this, I had this feeling that I wasn't alone in this world and that this poem summed up why I was doing all of this. I wasn't fighting for moral reasons or because I hated anyone, nor was it because anyone wanted me to do this. My future looked dim and my life had always seemed meaningless, that's why I always thought that I'd be better off dead.
"What are you doing?"
I looked up to see Miranda standing over me with a pissed off look in her eye. "Reading," I mumbled and I got up off the floor.
"Well stop reading and help me sort the rest of these books so we can go home."
I looked over Miranda's shoulder and saw that there were still a number of books we had to be sorted. I didn't think the library would be this busy at the start of the school year. As I started to place some of the books on the shelf, my phone started to go off and I saw that Harkin had texted me that he was picking me up. Miranda knew right away that I had to leave and she gritted her teeth at me.
"I have to go, sorry," I said.
"Yeah, leave me here to do all of this work by myself," scoffed Miranda.
"I'll make it up to you. When I get back, I'll take you out to eat next weekend."
Miranda turned and looked at me in surprise. I could almost see her blushing but then she wiped the look off her face. "I'm not holding my breath." I shrugged, grabbed my bag, and headed out the door. I was halfway down the hallway when I heard the library doors fly open and footsteps running up behind me. "Antonio, wait," called out Miranda. When I looked at her, she had this shyness in her body language. She was twiddling with her fingers and she had her head down as she looked at me, while she pressed her knees together. I figured she wanted to ask me something, but I didn't know what it was. "Did you mean that? Taking me out to eat, I mean." For some reason that I couldn't explain, I gently smiled and nodded. Miranda gave me a gentle smile as well, but I could see a little sadness in her eyes before I turned around and headed out of the school.
1921hrs, Erusian Ocean
We arrived by helicopter on the carrier I was assigned to. Today would be the first day I'd meet half of my team. We were assigned to CV-04, the UFS (Usean Federation Ship) Fort Grace. I had flown my plane here last weekend to get an idea of landing on a carrier. However, I didn't have my sea legs yet and I vomited as soon as I set foot on the ship. After we landed, I headed below deck to see what Rico was doing to my plane and I was surprised that my Phantom was given an azure blue paintjob along with the appropriate ISAF insignias. However, the thing that really bugged me about it was the number of 118 that was painted on the side of the nose. That number just seemed to follow me everywhere and I just couldn't escape it. The number turned out to belong to the Tactical Fighter wing we belonged to and our emblem was the Mobius strip. Or, at least mine was. The other planes on the ship had Rapiers or the Omega logo on them. Am I the only one who's part of the Mobius Squadron? I didn't have time to ponder it before I heard an announcement over the intercom telling the damage control teams to stand-by. I raced up to the flight deck and took a look around to see what was going on. The faint sound of an aircraft was approaching from the stern and it was drawing closer. I finally realized that the plane that was coming in for a landing was in trouble and that it might crash on the flight deck. When I looked out towards the plane, I could barely make out an F-18 against the night sky. The pilot was coming in too fast and the decent angle was too steep. The pilot noticed this and tried to throttle up, but it was too late. The plane had lost too much altitude and the Hornet's landing gear impacted the edge of the flight deck. The rest of the plane skidded along the flight deck and the wings and elevators tore off the plane's body.
When the plane came to a stop, the fuel tanks busted open and started to catch fire. The fire control crew started to try and douse the flames while no one tried to rescue the pilot. The crew leaders thought the pilot was dead and told the rest of the crews to focus on putting out the fires before they spread even further, but they were wrong. I could see the pilot stirring in the cockpit and I couldn't just stand by and do nothing while we waited for the flames to reach the main fuel tanks. I ran for the Hornet's cockpit and tried to open the canopy. Some of the other personnel were ordering me to get away from the plane, but I ignored them as I continued to try and get the pilot out of the cockpit. The canopy was sealed shut and I couldn't break it open with my bare hands. The fire started to spread and I had to do something fast if I was going to rescue the pilot in time. I reached into my bag, pulled out my pistol, chambered a bullet, and fired a couple of shots into the glass, but it didn't do much good. The glass had cracked only a little bit and I started to hammer away at the already weakened area with the butt of the gun. After several heavy strikes, I managed to make a small hole that I continued to hammer away at with my foot until I created a hole, large enough for me to enter the cockpit and unhook the pilot's harness. Once he was loose, I pulled him out, threw him across my back, and began to haul ass towards safety. The fire control group couldn't put out the fire in time and it reached the plane's fuel tanks, which caused it to explode. The blast was powerful enough to knock me off my feet and the pilot rolled off of my back. When I looked up, I could tell how much pain he was in by how heavily he was breathing. I rushed over to him, took off his flight vest and flight helmet. Yue! I couldn't believe that it was her. She had a pretty large gash above her right eyebrow and blood was oozing out of the wound. When I took off her flight vest, I found out that she had broken her arm by the way she was grunting and screaming in pain. I did what I could for her until a group of corpsmen were able to take over.
I didn't know what to feel when I saw how badly Yue was injured. I knew that I could be in just as bad shape as her, but I wanted to forget about it. The damage control crew and other personnel gave me a lot of sideways looks because they had seen or heard about what I had done. The whole ship knew what Yue and I were doing here, but I guess they didn't expect me to throw myself into harm's way like that. Harkin wasn't too thrilled when he heard about it and he locked me in my quarters until he was ready for me. There was nothing much else for me to do for the rest of the day except go to sleep.
Sunday, September 19, 2004 1350hrs, UFS Fort Grace
I was ordered to report to the briefing room ASAP for a mission briefing. I was trembling with excitement, knowing that this would be my first actual combat sortie. Dahl, Frost, Thatch, Glinka, and Danny were already there by the time I arrived and we were given a quick briefing. Over the past week, Erusean spies had disabled ISAF's early warning radar network and the brass had recently found out that a formation of bombers were headed for Allenfort. After they bombed the base, they would proceed to attack targets further north and cause a world of hurt for ISAF. We were ordered to link up with Colonel Fujima and his wingman, who were returning to Allenfort after they had just completed their anti-ship mission. Once we were dismissed, we all ran for the hangers and got our flight gear. As I got dressed, I could sense everyone's eyes on me. I introduced myself to them yesterday and as usual, they thought that this was some kind of joke. They all kept glaring at me as we ran up to the flight deck and got into our planes. Danny was already in his seat and I had just got settled in when Harkin called my name. I turned to see him take my picture and he tossed me a little notepad. The first thing I saw was the poem I had read yesterday.
"Give 'em hell, Kid," said Harkin and he walked away as I began my take off preparation. We were communicating back and forth with the ground crews through hand signals trying to get everything situated as I taxied into position in front of the catapult. Once I was in position, I had to check and make sure all my control surfaces were functioning properly and Danny had to go through the weapon checks as well. Once everything was set to go, I saluted to the Air Boss and applied full power to the engines. A couple of seconds passed before I was forced back against my seat and my Phantom shot down the flight deck. I wasn't expecting the acceleration to be this quick, but I quickly adapted to it. As soon as we were in the air, I retracted the landing gear and flaps and headed northwest with the rest of the squadron at full throttle. We were all flying F-4s and I was afraid that we'd be facing fighter escort that were far superior. I didn't have that much time to think about it because we had just rendezvoused with Fujima and his wingman. They were flying F-5s, but that still didn't put me at ease. Within another minute we had radar confirmation on the bomber formation and a voice hailed us over the radio.
"AWACS here call sign; Sky Eye, do you read?"
"Affirmative," I responded.
"Your call sign is Mobius 1. We'll refer to you by this name at all times. You're now under my command. Six bombers on vector 360 confirmed, continue north to intercept," said Sky Eye.
"Roger."
"Today's my birthday. A victory sure would be nice."
I rolled my eyes at his remark and we all continued to speed towards the bombers. They were over the chain of Islands that were south of Allenfort. The city on the main Island had been devastated by one of the Ulysses meteor fragments, but it was still inhabited. The northern part of the city had suffered the most damage and the impact crater was now a lake. Anyways, my whole body was shaking at the thought that this was really happening and I didn't know what was going to happen. I was excited at the thought. As soon as we got within range of the bombers, I switched over to my AMRAAMs and Danny acquired a lock on the first pair of bombers.
"Bandits, four o' clock high!" shouted Frost.
I looked in the direction he called out and I spotted four enemy planes diving on us. They were F-4 Phantoms, F-5 Tigers, and MiG-21s, so I didn't feel too discouraged about what kind of fighters the Erusians were using. We all broke off in every direction to avoid the enemy fighters, but I got separated from the others. All the enemy fighters were busy trying to go after my squad and I was all alone. What do I do? My mission objective was to stop the bombers from bombing Allenfort and I headed for the bombers again. Danny acquired a missile lock again and I fired two of my AMRAAMs at the pair. As soon as my missiles flew out from under me, I sped ahead of the bombers when my missiles impacted the bombers' tail section and forced them to destabilize. I didn't know that there were more fighter escorts ahead of those two bombers until they turned after me. They consisted of two MiG-21s and three F-5s and they all turned towards me. Oh shit! I don't know what possessed me to go after the escorts from head on. Danny quickly locked onto one of the MiGs for me and I fired a sidewinder at it. The missile flew directly into the MiG's nose and reduced the plane to a flaming pile of scrap. I pulled back up and headed for the closest bomber while the other escort fighters tried to reengage me. I was approaching one of the bombers from six o' clock low and I could see the other bomber towards my three o' clock. I had an idea of how I was going to quickly dispatch both targets. When I acquired a lock on the first bombed, I fired a sidewinder at it and watched it impact the inner right engine. The bomber was still flying, but the wing was in pretty bad shape and was barely hanging in there. I switched over to my gun and fired into the already weakened section of the wing so that it tore off completely. When the bomber dipped to the right, I applied full throttle, banked to the left, and then reversed my direction to pull into a wide climbing left turn. At the apex of the climb, I nosed over into a dive and came at the other bomber from its eleven o' clock high. Danny couldn't get a lock on the bomber fast enough, but I didn't care. As soon as I was close enough, my reflexes kicked in and I fired a long stream of 20mm cannon shells into the cockpit of the bomber before I pulled away from it at the last second. The bomber began to nose into a dive and there was no sign that it was going to recover. Two more bombers left. I turned to engage one of the remaining two bombers, but I heard a beep sounding off in my headset and a light started to flash inside the cockpit. Master caution? What the hell is this?
"Zorro, we're being engaged," shouted Danny. I looked over my right shoulder and saw one of the Erusian F-5 pulling lead on me as I banked to the left. Time seemed to slow down as I saw the missile fly off the rail and streak towards. I didn't know what to do and I froze. It wasn't fear that gripped me, but a sense of acceptance. The blaze of glory I wanted to be a part of was close at hand. "Break right!" shouted Danny again. I had forgotten about Danny being here with me and I couldn't let anything happen to him. I wanted to die, but I couldn't endanger the life of someone who was my responsibility. When I had this epiphany, I suddenly became gripped with fear. Not for my own life, but for Danny's. I can't let anything happen to him. I cut the throttle and snapped the stick over to the right while I applied bottom rudder. The Phantom responded instantly with a snap roll to the right and the missile sailed over my canopy. The maneuver drew the F-5 closer to me and I could see his cannon shells streak past me as well. I dove to try and gain some speed so I didn't stall when I made my next move. The F-5 drew closer to me and as I pulled up, he landed a few hits on my right wing. He was still closing in and when he was near enough, I cut the throttle, snapped the stick over to the left, and applied bottom rudder. My speed dropped and the F-5 flew past me. As soon as he was in front of me, I quickly lined him up in my gun sight and sent a long stream of lead into the right side of the fuselage where his engine was. The plane's entire right half disintegrated while the left side remained unchanged.
"I bagged one!" I shouted in excitement.
"Get after those bombers, you little shit. They just bombed the city," ordered Colonel Fujima.
The bombers had readjusted their course to make their bombing run on Allenfort and I could see their bomb bay doors opening. I can't let them drop a single bomb on that base. As I was about to change my heading towards the bombers, more cannon shells shot past me and I looked over my left shoulder to see the remaining escort fighters chase after me. I dove for the deck again with all three fighters coming after me. I was trying to evade their attacks as best as I could. I was flying only a few feet above the impact crater and the Erusian cannon shells sent up geysers of water when they shot past me. I had to do something and fast or else the bombers would level Allenfort. Without thinking, I flew towards the south and began to fly through the city. It wasn't until I saw the people in the buildings that I realized that I had put them at risk. I quickly rolled to the left and applied top rudder so that I climbed above the city skyline and reversed direction towards the bombers. I need to get to them before it's too late! I pressed on towards the bombers but my missile warning went off and I broke off my attack. When I broke right to avoid the missile, my pursuers drew closer and I pulled a high G barrel roll over them. As much as I wanted to disable these guys so that they wouldn't cause me any more problems, I had to break off and go after the bombers again. However, when I looked over my right shoulder, I saw the three Erusean fighters turn after me. Where the hell are the others?!
"Mobius 1 deflect!" shouted Thatch. I immediately broke right while I kept my eye on the three enemy fighters. The lead plane burst into flames and I saw Thatch's F-4 shoot past the remaining fighters. The remaining two fighters broke off and were quickly engaged by Colonel Fujima and Thatch. "Get after those Bombers! We'll take care of these guys."
I hit the afterburners and climbed to intercept the last two bombers. Once I was in range, I locked onto the closest bomber and fired an AMRAAM at it, but the missile's motor failed to ignite. I pressed the missile launch button again and I saw it head for the bomber. I didn't watch it impact because I was too focused on downing the other bomber. With my throttle was maxed out, I sped towards the final bomber so that I could send one of my sidewinder towards it. I finally got within range and fired a missile at it, but the bomber activated its countermeasures. Dozens of decoy flares flew out of the bombers wings and tail section causing my missile to lose track of its target. I fired my last missile in desperation and I was fortunate that it impacted the bomber at all. However, it didn't bring the bomber down. I climbed above the bomber and rolled over into a dive to attack from above. The problem was that I couldn't just shoot the wing off the bomber now because it would crash into Allenfort and cause just as much damage if the plane dropped its payload. My mind was racing with ideas on what I should do and I decided that I was going to use the bomber's own weapon against it. Time seemed to slow down again as my reflexes took over and I quickly adjusted my Phantom's trajectory as I lined up the bomber in my gun sight. When I was finally in range, my finger closed around the trigger and my plane shuddered as the 20mm cannon sent a long volley of bullets into the bomb bay. The bomber exploded into a brilliant fireball and it disintegrated in mid-air. I was close enough to the bomber that the shockwave rocked my plane violently and I couldn't avoid the fireball, so I went through it. I couldn't see anything through the smoke and flames and I could hear the bomber's debris pelt my Phantom mercilessly. That didn't worry me as much as the sound of my engines failing. Danny heard it as well and he started to panic, but our fear was short lived. My engines coughed back to life and the oil that caked my canopy had been cleared by the air flow once we cleared the smoke cloud. I pulled out of the dive and watched the remains of the bomber tumble out of the sky. It would land just short of the docks located south of Allenfort.
"Good job, Mobius 1," said Sky Eye over the radio.
"Sky Eye, this is Allenfort. Got visual on the downed bombers, whose kill was that? Make sure to thank him," said Allenfort's base commander.
"That's a round up, let's go on home," said Thatch.
I turned back to head south with the rest of the squadron. As I fell into formation with the others, I could see them all glaring at me and I couldn't understand why. I had just shot down a total of eight enemy aircraft while they were all struggling to shoot down seven escort fighters, so why did I get this feeling of hatred from them? I just saved one of the last remaining ISAF air bases singlehandedly and I honestly expected some kind of praise from someone. I didn't let this bother me for long because there was something more troublesome on my mind. My hands were shaking uncontrollably and my forehead was covered in sweat. I could still hear my missile warning blaring and I started to think deeper into the fact that I froze when I saw the missile head for me. Why am I still shaking? I was scared. I've never had my life put in danger like that before and I actually thought that I was ready to die, but I wasn't. Nothing made sense to me anymore and I wasn't sure what Harkin would say if I told him about this. However, I still doubted that he would talk to me. Nor did I think I'd be able to keep this feeling under control.
Saturday, September 25, 2004 1336hrs Wesson, Osea
I kept my promise to Miranda and took her out to eat. We ended up going to an Italian bistro that served the best pizza in town and I paid for everything. I found out that I was actually getting paid to work for ISAF and I made bank on my first combat sortie. A hundred and four grand would put a smile on anyone's face, but not me. Miranda knew that something was up because I hadn't really said anything to her all week. We just sat in silence as we ate our lunch and I just kept staring out the window. Miranda was desperately trying to think of something to talk about, but nothing came to mind. I was thinking of the exact same thing because I wanted to distract myself from the thoughts of my first dogfight. Think, dumbass. Find something to talk about. I looked over at Miranda and saw her looking out the window as well.
"What's it like?" asked Miranda and I looked at her slightly confused. "What's it like out there?"
"I really don't want to talk about it," I said.
"What's wrong with you? You've been acting weird ever since you came back Monday."
"And you'd call my usual behavior normal?"
"That's not what I meant. You've been acting more distant than usual and I can tell something's bothering you."
"Yeah, but I can't talk about it."
"I know it's not what you did that's bothering you. There's more to it," said Miranda. I didn't want to tell Miranda anything because I thought she'd treat it as another joke. She never seemed to take me seriously and I thought that she'd just laugh at me again. "Alright look, I know I haven't taken you seriously ever since I met you, but give me a chance this once. If you can't talk to Harkin, then at least you can talk to me."
I never really opened up to anyone because my life was none of their business. I usually only talked to Harkin, but I still never fully opened up to him. Miranda got up out of her seat and began to walk by me to head out of the restaurant, but I grabbed her hand at the last possible moment. I could feel how tense she was and I suspected that she thought that I was going to break her wrist again, but she seemed to relax as I gently pulled her back towards the table. After she took her sea again, I took a deep breath and looked her in the eye.
"When was the last time that you were scared?"
