A/N: Some of you may have noticed I try to stick to only one character's perspective per chapter or at least until a section break. With the exception of chapter 4 in this story I've been pretty disciplined about it but in this chapter it worked out to well to have a little shift in perspective. Hopefully you don't find it too jarring.
A/N: Not too much in the way of clues in this chapter but some events that happen will heavily impact the rest of the story.
If only life had a pause button.
Sarah looked down at Chuck's peaceful, slack face as she held his head in her lap. They had been watching the second Evil Dead movie in honor of Halloween but she had turned it off after he'd fallen asleep; whatever charm he saw in the movie was lost on her. She smiled, seeing how carelessly he was sprawled across the couch, his trust in her, complete. As it usually did, this brought out her strong maternal feelings; despite the Intersect and all she'd taught him, he still had a knack for finding trouble.
She had smacked him so hard when she'd found out what he and Casey had done while she was stuck at the spa. The three of them were eating dinner at the BTC food court, having sent poor Devon home by cab. After administering the Charlie horse to Chuck's arm she told them about the tail she'd acquired, driving back from the spa. That had answered at least one question: all of team Bartowski was now under surveillance.
Sarah had hesitated before telling her other news, pondering how Chuck would respond. Still, she knew better than to keep it to herself and she told them about her conversation with Ellie. To her surprise, Chuck didn't seem angry about her interrogation of his sister, and she took it as a sign of his increasing trust in her. On the other hand, his face had darkened when she suggested his father might know about Shaw, and he'd nearly lost it, wondering aloud how it would look that they were working with a traitor. Before they had time to discuss it any further, Chuck had spotted two of the men from Taproot just reestablishing their surveillance and the three were forced to finish dinner making no more than small talk.
Sarah looked down as Chuck twitched and moaned in his sleep and she ran her fingers through his curls till he quieted.
You poor boy. All that time, being the only one defending your father to Ellie and now wondering if he wouldn't do the same for you.
She yawned, wishing for a way to teleport them into his bed; he was so peaceful, it seemed like a crime to wake him. She was pondering how Chuck would feel about being carried to bed — and if it was feasible — when she was startled by a knock at the door. Chuck shot up as if he'd heard a gun and went to the door before Sarah could stop him. Sarah was relieved to hear Ellie's voice on the other side calling her brothers name. Chuck opened the door to a curious sight: Ellie in scrubs looking frazzled, a round-eyed baby in her arms, and a diaper bag on her shoulder.
"Thank god you guys are here. Chuck, you need to do me a favor. There was a huge accident on the 5 just outside the Bob Hope … two buses, a gas tanker, several cars. They're calling all of us in, including me and Devon as well as both of Lalita's parents." She indicated the drooling, saucer-eyed bundle. "Jayshree told me it's okay if you looked after her until whenever she gets off her shift."
Chuck started to back away. "Ellie, I don't even …"
"Please, Chuck. I need to get to the hospital and there's no one else to take her. She's already been fed for the night and she'll probably be asleep in a few minutes. She's got her monkey and her giraffe in the bag, here's a bottle if she needs it and when she's asleep you can put her in here." She indicated a car seat carrier at her feet. "Just make sure she doesn't fall asleep on her tummy." Ellie grabbed the carrier and passed it through, then shoved Lalita and the diaper bag at Chuck. "Thank you little brother. Jayshree will call when she's on her way."
Before Chuck could say another word, Ellie had sprinted off towards the courtyard's exit.
And Chuck turns to me in 3, 2, 1 …
"Sarah?" Chuck's eyes were as round as Lalita's.
"Don't look at me, Chuck. This is the closest I've been to a baby since … actually this may the closest I've ever been to a baby."
"Oh come on, Sarah. You have to help me with this."
"Sweetie, I don't know how much help I would be."
Whether it was the concept of being taken care of by two rank amateurs or the fact that she was being held at arms length like unexploded ordnance, Lalita decided that something in her world required an immediate adjustment. Her face screwed up into a sour expression, tears began to leak from her eyes, and a hiccupy squall built up in her throat.
"Oh no. Don't cry. It's okay." Chuck looked at Sarah. "What did I do? What do I do?"
"I don't know. Maybe hold her against you instead of at arm's length."
"Okay … head goes here, feet go there. Is that better? No? I don't think it's working."
"Alright, where's your laptop?"
"Kitchen table."
Sarah slipped into a chair and opened Chuck's computer. She began a quick search, trusting the Internet to hold answers to all problems.
"Okay it says you should rock her and shush her in her ear."
"Shush her? What the hell does that mean? Here, why don't you try?"
"Ha! You think I'd be any better at this than you?"
"Well, you're a woman. Don't you have some kind of maternal instincts or something?"
"Seriously? You've been watching too much Mad Men. What about me makes you think I'd be any good with babies? Just quit arguing and shush."
Chuck did as he was told and, to his amazement, within a minute, Lalita began to quiet down.
"Well look at you, Chuck. Apparently you're the one with the maternal instincts."
"Funny. Well, hopefully you have them too because I'm gonna have to pass her off to you."
"What?"
"I'm sure, at her age, she wouldn't retain any memory of it, but even so, I'm not about to take her with me where I'm …"
"Okay, Chuck , you could just have said you needed to use the bathroom." Sarah sighed with apprehension. "Give her to me."
With great care, as if she really was handling unexploded ordnance, Sarah took Lalita, her heart beating a little faster than a jaded intelligence officer's should.
She's heavier than I would have expected. And, wow, she really squirms! Am I not holding you right? There, is that better? Okay, little one, the two of us can get through this. Despite all the things I've done I'm really not a bad person, I promise. Oops, more rocking and more shushing, huh? That's better. Oh, do you like my hair? Wow, you've got a strong little grip. Ow! Okay, ponytail time. You really are cute, you know.
Chuck came back to the living room, minutes later, to find Sarah settled on the couch with Lalita. To his surprise she didn't rush to pass the little girl off, instead seeming quite content.
"You two look like you're getting along."
"It's not really that hard. It is kind of scary though, holding another person like this. I mean, she's going to be an adult some day, maybe a doctor or teacher or scientist, and here I am holding her like a football."
"Kind of amazing, actually."
Whether he meant to or not, Chuck had used a danger word from Sarah's old message code and both their eyes ticked up toward the ceiling out of instinct. The Taproot thing might or might not have been related to Shaw but it had everyone on edge. As if it could ward off the unseen menace, Sarah reached for the remote and turned on the TV. They watched quietly, passing Lalita off when an arm or shoulder got tired, content just to be caring for a sleeping little one. Sarah was surprised how calming it was to watch the tiny, peaceful face. As they sat she became intensely conscious of Chuck next to her and at one point, caught him watching her rock the little girl.
I wonder what's going through his head right now, especially after last night?
Before Sarah could follow the thought any further, Morgan came through the front door.
"Hey Chuck, hey Sar … oh no … no, no! Chuck! What have you done?"
"Morgan …"
"What did you bring into this house?"
"Buddy, I'm just doing Ellie a favor for one of her friends. She had no where else to …"
"You know how I feel about ... those. This is worse than keeping strange cheeses in the fridge. This is a violation of basic human … you know what, I don't need this. I'll be in my room."
Morgan stalked down the hallway slamming his door behind him.
Sarah stared after him wondering if Chuck's friends could get any more bizarre. "What's with him?"
"He kind of has this phobia with babies. I think it has something to do with the fact his mother used to run a daycare when he was a kid."
"Weird …"
At the sound of the door slamming, Lalita woke up and began fussing. Rather than settling down again she ramped up to her earlier siren and Sarah winced. Chuck repeated the trick Sarah had taught him but it was without effect.
"Oh crap, Sarah. Shushing isn't working."
"Rock her too."
"I am! I'm rocking, I'm shushing. Morgan's going to have a fit in a second. What do I do?"
Sarah was about to appeal to the Internet once more when her nose twitched.
"Oh. Chuck, I think … wow … yeah, she definitely needs …"
Chuck sniffed. "Wow! Oh man. I think you're right. Okay, we got this. Umm, what do we need?"
"Diapers?"
"Yes, where's the diaper bag. Okay, we got diapers …"
"Wipes?"
"Yep. Got those."
"Maybe something to put her down on?"
"Okay … what do we got … a blanket? That'll work. Alright, now … some gloves? Maybe? No gloves?" Chuck shuddered involuntarily. "Well, I guess that's what soap and water is for. So …" He took a deep breath then screwed up his nose. "… where should I start?"
"I don't know … put her down and take her diaper off, I guess?"
"You sound like you know this better than me. Why don't you try?" Chuck looked at Sarah hopefully.
"Oh no! Uh-uh. Ellie gave her to you first. Besides, doesn't the … you know … have a flash that's relevant for this?"
"Oh, high-lari-ty. Now you decide to be funny?"
Lalita continued squalling wondering at the incompetence of the two supremely unhelpful adults. As she wailed she was startled again by the same loud bang that had woken her previously. Then a funny, hairy-faced man appeared before her, pushing the worthless idiots out of the way, saying angry words.
"Pathetic! Amateurs!"
The hairy man reminded Lalita of Daddy as he smiled at her, and she stopped crying. He poked a finger at her belly, made faces, and spoke to her with the happy words she liked to hear. This man knew what he was doing. He had her diaper off and her bottom cleaned in no time. Back in a clean diaper, she was handed to the useless yellow-haired one and, to Lalita's disappointment, the funny, hairy man quickly disappeared back into the dark place, saying more angry words.
"This never happened. I'm serious. I don't want to hear about it … ever." Morgan shut the door behind him, cutting off any potential questions.
Sarah was stunned. "That … was unexpected. Did he just …"
"… make us look like incompetent fools? Yep, I think he did. I guess Bolonia had him doing more at the daycare than he ever admitted to me."
"You learn something new every day. Morgan Grimes: baby whisperer."
Come on Ellie, tell me you're not as cautious as your father.
Sarah was picking through the strata of personal treasures, papers, books, and office paraphernalia, which had collected in Ellie and Devon's office/spare bedroom. The task of sifting this haystack for the list of the races Stephen was following or his whereabouts, without leaving a trace of her search, would normally have been a painful task in itself. The fact that she was again betraying the trust of someone she'd like to call family, regardless of Chuck's grudging consent, left her feeling contaminated in a way she wasn't sure she could wash off.
Damn it, Stephen! Why are you making me do this to your daughter? And why tonight?
She had been reluctant to leave the cozy arrangement on the couch, she, Chuck, and the baby. Sarah's mind had been as unruly as ever and she hadn't stopped herself from imagining a similar tableau that included their own child. This had resulted in a storm of conflicted feelings. The kid was certainly cute. There was no doubt she'd found herself more attracted to those kind of pudgy little faces lately, and she couldn't help but wonder if biology was somehow involved. Chuck had admitted the same himself. But there was something more to it. A child wasn't something that could be erased like an old alias. If she was careful, a child would continue, even if her past ended up catching up to her. Still, there was an enormous gap between that and the fear of having a large part of her life ruled by a miniature dictator, removing her from any kind of existence she had known before. And there was the fear that she would be responsible for turning the little despot into a decent human being, hopefully not capable of the horrible things she'd seen other human beings do to each other. Nuzzling into the pocket between Chuck's arm and torso had quieted these thoughts, but at some point the conflict would need to be resolved, one way or the other.
Oh, and what do we have here?
As she was flipping through an old clinical neurology textbook the pages parted to reveal a folded piece of notebook paper stuck between. She carefully opened it, illuminated it with her flashlight, and saw a list of names written in a hand that wasn't Ellie's or Devon's. Guessing this was likely the list she was looking for, she took a picture with her phone. A moment later, a distinct click downstairs halted her movement.
What was that?
It had sounded an awful lot like the spring-loaded latch that the doors on all these apartments had. She listened, motionless, and heard nothing else, but the tightening of the skin on her arms told her that someone had entered below and was attempting to remain silent. She replaced the notebook paper and book and clicked off her flashlight, her pulse suddenly racing. Shaw would be looking for Stephen Bartowski as well, if not to capture then to kill. The Ring would want him too … and the government. The list of those who would want to know his whereabouts was long.
Shit shit shit!
Her mind began working on a plan of escape, possibly through the second floor window, but she quickly ruled it out. If she left, the intruder might find something she'd missed, something to lead them to the elder Bartowski. Chuck and Ellie were family and she was damn sure not going let anyone harm their father. She bent her surging adrenaline to efficient action, using her memory to help her collect materials from the pitch-black office. Setting the stage for an outcome in her favor — several carefully placed erasers, bubble wrap, and a wicked letter opener — she listened for the advance of the intruder up the stairs.
A creak sounded below.
There's the first stair. Should be one more at the second to last step from the top.
She waited, keeping the jittery tension from claiming her nerves and muscles. This one was taking their time.
Damn, do they know I'm up here?
She counted her breaths and attempted to clear her mind.
*Creak*
At the top of the stairs ... now down the hall ...
... wait for it ...
... wait for it ...
A sound like twenty cap guns firing at once sounded as the intruder stepped into the doorway, crushing the erasers into the bubble-wrap she'd placed at the room's entrance. Guessing at the intruder's height, she lanced her heel at the darkness in front of her. A surprised "oof" followed by a gasp told her she'd found the solar plexus. Quickly she closed on her victim, bringing the letter opener to the jugular by feel.
"Move and you'll bleed out in seconds!"
"Ah Jesus, it's you. What are you doing up here, Walker?" There was a growling menace in the voice.
Oh shit! Casey?
As one of her fears disappeared, a new one replaced it. "Casey! You scared the hell out of me! A little warning next time. I was just up here looking for that list …"
"I'm going to stop you right there before you lie to me again. You'd have sent me up here to find the list if that's what this was about. You'd rather have the moron annoyed at me than you for going through his sister's stuff."
Sarah remained silent wondered how she kept underestimating Casey. Then it occurred to her that her reticence was as good as an admission of guilt.
"God damn it! Do you see something wrong here? You and your idiot boy toy have been thick as thieves lately and here I am, still playing catch up. How long have we worked together? And now, with all of our lives hanging by little threads, you're going to lie to me? This isn't amateur rogue spy hour, Walker, this is the real fucking deal. Either tell me what's going on … all of it … or you can explain yourself to Beckman and your new partner!"
"You can stuff the sanctimony up your ass, Casey, but even so, I'm sorry." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "I'm just trying to help Chuck find his father again. If Ellie's had contact with him there might be something up here to point us in the right direction."
Casey matched Sarah's whisper. "The man doesn't want to be found. The moron's just gonna have to get over it."
That's it. I've had it with this "moron" crap. "Casey, if you want us to act more like a team, you better stop with the insults. You and I both know Chuck is still playing out of his league but he's doing a damn good job of it."
"Fine. Then just tell me how you justify breaking into someone's house over this."
"Like you ever waited for justification to do something illegal."
Casey breathed out a long rumble and Sarah wished she could see her partner's expression. "You can deflect all you want, Walker, but the fact is, we're still in the middle of a shit sandwich and you're doing extraneous break-ins to find someone who doesn't wanna be found."
"And looking for the list. I think that justifies a break in."
"Oh, for chrissake! What aren't you telling me? Why's it so important to find Orion?"
Sarah bit her lip, holding back her frustration. She realized she never should have expected to keep Casey out of the loop and that his anger was completely justified in the kight of their current situation, but why couldn't he see the bind she was in? "I really don't think you want to know."
"Quit it, Walker. Don't pretend like you're protecting me."
"I'm not pretending. You might want to trust me on that. If I tell you, you're going to have to make a decision … and that's a decision I don't think you want to make."
Casey didn't respond immediately then sighed, a deeply tired exhalation.
"Walker, why is it so hard for you to just follow orders? Working with you … it's almost a guarantee, at some point I'll be skirting the edge of treason."
"Look, you may have found you can trust your superiors implicitly. I don't, especially not in this case. I promise you, Casey, we're not working against the interests of the United States ... though I have no idea what the General's intentions are, so I can't say whether or not we're working against her."
Casey grunted but Sarah couldn't interpret this one. She waited in the dark for him to respond, knowing there was little else she could say.
"Okay … you're my partner. If I can't trust you, I might as well quit. I'm with you on this. Spill it."
Several miles away, a man sat up in his chair, reflexively pressing a pair of headphones to his ears as Sarah explained to Casey the dilemma she and Chuck had recognized with the Intersect technology.
My ,my, Agent Walker … aren't you full of surprises.
A/N: Uh-oh!
