Chapter 9

Run

Note: This one is shorter. Reviewer of the day is: Lena (again) Firstly Yep Jazz dose feel bad about using Closelens for his own games. Secondly ship tell your hearts content! Let nothing stop you. And sorry for skipping over Everyone's eminent reaction. Tho my first draft had Jazz do some awful stuff to the poor mech.

The conversation didn't go back to normal for a while and Jazz didn't touch me until it was time for Ratchet to head home, I was not spoken to and I felt no need to get involved in any more conversations.

Jazz wasn't happy with me.

I could feel it in his field his posture and expression. He and I needed a talk, a real talk. For the very first time since I broke down when I first got here. No more games...

I hade a lot to say and less and less time to really think about how I'd say it.

Oddly I wanted to talk to Jazz, I wanted to tell him the things I did and how they affected me. I wanted to explain the gilt about... not feeling guilty over the horrible crimes I've committed in the war. All behind others, I never so much as saw the victims less drop the bombs. Yet I felt nothing all that bad about it. And I hate it...

But Jazz won't want to listen to me.

To him I'm not even Cybertronian...

I watched his friendly tone stay on Ratchet as he waved good night as I closed the door. Slowly as if to keep from facing Jazz for at least a nanosecond longer. When I closed the door I heard Jazz move, not forward or anything just shifting his position.

His arms crossed and non smiling face told me to get over there. Without words I didn't hesitate, I kept my helm down. Not cuz I wanted to show him some submissions in a last ditch effort to please him no...

I honestly don't think I could.

"Closelens," Jazz said with no emotion making it arguably worse. I can't read him, I don't know how bad I messed up this time. Or wether or not I should be bagging or something. Jazz was a terrifying mech when he was happy. This, this as not happy Jazz. I was frozen.

I was hopeless lost.

And like that I dropped to my knees and broke again.

If Jazz was going to punish me for my part in the war I don't think I should fight him. I've actually thought about this a lot. What would I do if Jazz went through with hurting me?

Run or Fight.

I thought those were my only options. But I had discovered 2 more...

Bag or take it.

I made my choice, I just chose to sob at my masters feet. I chose to use no words and let my field speak for me. It ripped and warped out of control. My emotions sharing a brake down. I hated myself. I'm useless scrap, I've always been. I've only been ever good at science because I was told to. I love art, I'm bad at it. But that's what I wanted to do.

But I was never gifted with a normal Alt mode, no. Scientist was forced on me wether I liked it or not. And just cuz all I ever wanted was Freedom I'm now a slave. And unlike back then I didn't have a drive to fight back against my oppressors. No this wasn't any faceless entity.

Now, it was Autobot Jazz and he was going to hurt me...

Not just hurt me but brake me in ways beyond my wildest imagination. All I could do about it was nothing. I wish I had gone through with putting myself offline back two weeks after the Decepticons rises to power. Back when I was put back into being a scientist vs a real soldier.

But like now I didn't fight for myself.

No I went back into my lab crying, hiding from the scary big bots who came from construction, mining, gladiators, sweepers and millions more. All thinking I should be happy cuz I had money. They made me a cowered and the worst part is, I let them.

I made awful weapons and had them deployed on people. They took my chance to fight for myself and made me the thing I was trying to escape.

Now I was going to pay for my sins. Primus I wanted to look up at my Master and beg. Show him my side. But what good would that do? He'd only brake me harder if he had a grudge to hold on me later. I wanted to die.

"I was just following orders" I wanted to cry.

"I'd never do it if I could go back in time" I wanted to lie.

"I didn't think of the devastation I'd caws" I wanted to explain.

"I-I'm different, I just want to make you happy" I wanted to tell the truth.

What good would that do? I deserve whatever he dishes out. A spineless cowered like me deserves everything coming. Jazz was just here to deliver, did I deserve any less?

Jazz was pissed with good reason but he didn't flow from him. No he kept his field tight.

"Stand up," he ordered coldly I looked up him in horror.

"Jazz?" I said in a pleading voice

"I said stand up!" He said harsher making me flinch.

Oh my god I'm dead. He's going to kill me.

My mind raced with prayers with through of how this might play out Jazz's visor was dark. I shivered looking up at him like my judge jury and executioner.

"Run to Ironhide." He said coldly not angry I blinked confused "Run out the door, run to the elevator, go down one floor and run to Ironhide."

"Jazz?" I asked getting up all confused and scared. The black and wight mech said nothing, he starred at the ground holding back whatever pain and anger he'd love to unleash.

I took the silent hint and ran, my shaky hands punched in the code wrong twice. But I got the door open and I ran...

I felt panicked even if Jazz didn't follow me but I wanted to be sure. The idea of Jazz chasing me was a horrible thought. I got the the elevator pressing the button multiple times for the floor under us.

How was this going to work, what did it mean? Was Ironhide going to hurt me? I'd honestly rather be torn limb from limb then whatever Jazz was going to do. Or worried he was planning to do.

The real question is why let me run? Did he really think he was going to hurt me that badly? or did he just need space to think. No matter now. The elevator stopped. I opened the door to see another door. Coming up to it timidly I reached out, my hands shaking as I did. I pulled my hand back close to my chest tears came from my optics.

Why?

I ask that question a lot I've noticed but sometimes that's to only logical thing to ask. Everything was a mess and all I could ask was why. But I didn't deserve better... I didn't want to talk to some stranger Autobot. I sure as hell didn't want to go in his home unsupervised. I had no rights other then my obligation to serve Jazz. What if he just drags me back, then what?

Like with Jazz and Ratchet I know what they look like, same with Ironhide. He was a big dude. And frighteningly strong.

I knocked on the door.

I found myself in instant regret, I was scared stiff. On of the strongest Autobot was coming. I shivered and jumped when the door opened. I took a step back frightened, I didn't bother to hide it. It was already sending off a crazy field it didn't matter, I'm just glad Jazz wasn't going to be the one to Kill me.

The large red mech looked down on me and looked around for anyone else.

"Please H-help, me," I whispered. To who? I don't know, anyone who could hear me.

"Hello," Ironhide said I just bowed my helm respectfully.

"M-my ma-master told me to come here, I'm so s-s-sorry sir. I-I-I'm not sure why," I said trying to explain myself to the large Autobot.

"Don't be, I don't be come in," he said in a friendly voice he waved me on in his place. It was enormous. He had the hole floor to himself and he kept guns everywhere. Probably no rounds but it's not like I could lift half of these big guns. Or have half the bearings or the stupidity to try. Primus knows who he knows. The place was a mess, but not in a dirty way, just in a disorganized.

"Hey FT! I found a straggler!" Ironhide called out making me squeak.

"That's nice- hide, we don't have any more sodium zinc rods!" A female voice shouted back from a long way off.

"But... how I just got some?" He asked confused

"I don't know how, but perhaps my new spark heat generator and armour might know a thing or two," she sang

"I'm sure I'd be excited if it made sense, but come on out here and see our guest," He said in a very casual way that made me feel non threatened.

"Fine," she grumbled

Then a the femme came into view. Not only was She was smaller then me, she was a no joke Mini-Con. She still had on her M and everything, grated next to it was a Decepticon logoand she had a collar to match mine.

However I'd think she'd appreciate that I know that a Mini-Con is short for Miniature Convoy not Mini Decepticon. As Mini-Cons are a separate faction based on race. You'd be hard pressed to find someone who did know that however...

"Hello," she said pulling up her knight like face guard. She was a forest green brown and yellow colour. Her arms were huge, she was likely a phase sixer class construction Mini-Con. Strongest her kind can offer. Meaning she likely a heavy hitter in the war. Or someone's powerful weapon.

Funny thing is, the Autobot fought along side the Mini-Cons for civil rights. They had been considered disposables. But if she was a Con then it's tragic she ended back up in slavery. She kept her bro ish stance.

"Fullthrotle, meet Closelens... right?" Ironhide asked

I gave a still frightened nod,

"Have you fuelled yet?" The big red mech asked handing me a cube. I don't want to be hand feed by Ironhide or anything like that so I said yes. I heard him sit on his couch and drinking his energon cube.

"Wana fetch me another one Con," he asked Fullthrotle just walked pass him.

"Frag off," she said to my shock.

How was she not frightened? This mech was third in command of the Autobot! He could destroy a tiny mech like her without a thought. But he watched her swing one of the large gun around over her shoulder to bring to her table.

Dame she's strong.

"Why are you so mean to me?" He asked hurt

"I don't know, why are you so lazy?" She shot back

"Slob!" He shouted back

"Thick hide!"

I was in Aww of this femme... she was insulting the mech to his face. Without so much as a second glance. I didn't even want to think of what Jazz would do if I'd ever said anything resembling her remarks.

Yes, yes I do.

I'd just not be living simple as that... I'd hope.

"Glitch," he shouted in protest. She just laughed at him.

Jazz would never let that sort of behaviour fly, I'd hate to think what he'd do to her.

"Hey, sit down." He said to me patting the seat next to him. I rushed to meet him. Sitting down he have me a concerned look. "You wana talk about anything, or ever need a place just to get away from Jazz for a while, my door is always open. Ok kid."

Why would he offer a place to hide. Nothing here made sense here, why was he sooo lenient? We Cons are just toys now...

"Yes sir, t-thank you," I said quietly

And with that I had watch there playfully back and forth of colourful... terms of endearment, I think. Me, I was trying to pick myself back up again. Mentally...

I was going to fix this, I had to. I never want to come here again. If I'm here that means I screwed up because -don't get me wrong, they were nice but... I need to make Jazz happy and I'll be fine. Even if I haven't disobeyed him I need to make him not regret getting me...

My mind went a hole other shade of frightened.

What if he doesn't want me anymore? Will he sell me away? Can you even do that?

I felt sick, even as Ironhide gave me a place to sleep, he cleaned of the couch upon discovering the guests room was on fire. I couldn't even bring myself to laugh... there was nothing funny at all.

It felt wrong. I was being crushed by the anticipation for seeing him again. What he might say or do, it was cruel... it was a kin to being on death row...

Even if the two were sickeningly sweet.

This was hell...

End note: Fullthrotle is a OC of mine who is a bad guy in my other series. The two are not connected, I'm just saying that's where she's from. Same back story and everything.

Also if you like my fanfic I HIGHLY recommend "These Games We Play" it's so good like one of my favourite stories ever. It was written by a god I'd swear it!