Sexual content warning.
CH 9: Unconscious Desires
"So how's life with the crazies?"
"Surprisingly uneventful," Abigail said, lying on her bed with an arm propped beneath her skull. Nudging her cheek into her phone, she shrugged. "As long as they don't open their mouths, they seem relatively normal."
Marissa huffed. "And what about Cal?"
"What about him?"
"Has he asked for payment like I feared, or is he actually an okay guy?"
Abigail chewed her lip. "Don't worry, I've got that under control."
"Whoa, whoa, hold on – what does that mean?"
"It means it's under control."
"Jesus, Abby, are you…are you fucking him?"
"No!" Abigail was red-faced now, humiliated by what she'd wanted (needed?) the night before. "Let's just say that you were right…men really are easy to keep in line, once you realize what they like."
"Oh God, you are fucking him!"
"No, I'm not!" Sitting up with a scoff, Abigail raked a hand through her hair and sighed. "I'll admit I kind of…teased him a little, but at least now he seems like he wants me around."
"You mean he didn't before?"
"Well…I don't know, he did, but he was also leery."
"I don't like this, Abby. I mean yeah, naturally I want you to experience sex and have a great time, but not with some psycho cult leader. For all you know, he might make you a virgin sacrifice."
Abigail laughed nervously. "Fortunately, it's not that kind of cult. I really don't think Cal wants anyone else to know about us."
"Gee, I wonder why? But all snark aside, I want you to be careful. If you feel like you're in any sort of trouble, please call me."
"Okay," Abigail agreed, "I will."
"You promise?"
"I promise."
"Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pretend I give a shit about Cindy's piano recital."
Abigail laughed. "You mean the girl you babysit?"
"Yep. Talk to you later, Abs."
"Bye…" Hanging up with a sigh, Abigail set aside her phone and frowned. Marissa was right. She was being reckless with Cal, and testing his boundaries wasn't the smartest way to earn his compliance. It would probably be safest to fall back on prior methods…
When Abigail found Cal, he was doing pull-ups in the doorway.
"I'd like to apologize for yesterday," she said, twisting her hands as she watched his biceps flex and strain. "I just…I guess I was scared and needed a distraction."
With a harsh exhale, Cal hopped down from the bar and turned toward her, now grabbing a towel from a nearby chair and wiping his face. "There's no need to apologize," he said. "When cornered, most people react on the defensive…some more so than others."
Abigail raised her chin. "Well, perhaps I wouldn't have behaved that way if you hadn't offered."
"I'm sorry?"
"When you first…when you touched me, you said you wanted to help me stop fearing intimacy. Yesterday, I was ready for that."
Cal swallowed low in his throat. "Let's not discuss this now…"
"Why? Am I only appealing when it's dark out and no one can potentially see us?"
"Please, keep your voice down."
"I will not! All I want to know is what you meant by 'intimacy,' and if you'll ever want me when I want you."
Cal buried his face into his towel. "This is highly-"
"What? Inappropriate? I think we crossed that bridge long ago!" Abigail snapped. In truth, she didn't know what she was doing. Initially, she'd planned on reeling things back in, but then the moment Cal had opened his mouth, she'd felt defensive and nettled, and yes, even a little needy.
Cal threw his towel down in agitation. "What do you want from me, Abigail? For me to touch you? To fuck you?"
She balked, finally appearing uncertain now that her aggression was being rewarded. "I…um…"
"I suggest you figure that out before just maligning my sense of character. Until then, I'm going to go pray…for my sake and yours." Sparing her one last chilled glance, Cal turned and made a beeline for the door.
For once, Abigail found herself actively seeking other young adults on campus. She found a few underneath a large shade tree, each passing around a joint and speaking in low tones. They only looked up when she approached.
"Hi," Abigail said, appearing uncertain. "Do you mind if I sit?"
Everyone shook their head no, and, pleased with the impromptu arrival, Joy gleefully passed Abigail the smoldering blunt.
"Thanks," she mumbled. Having a seat, she took a drag from the joint and coughed, still not quite accustomed to the potency of marijuana. If anything, she was hoping it would at the very least help her relax.
"So, did you run out of books or something? We rarely see you around here," Joy teased.
Abigail shrugged. "No…my mind's just full, that's all. I needed an outlet."
"You definitely came to the right place," another girl said. "I feel so Zen when I'm out here. More often than not, I find that I know what I truly want in life after lighting up."
Abigail looked to Hawk to see if he agreed, but he appeared uneasy with her arrival. She assumed he was leery of her just like his father was, but she couldn't care less. Least especially now that her limbs were starting to feel fluid and weightless.
"So what kind of problems are you having?" Joy prodded. "Spiritual? Maybe sexual?"
The girl to her right laughed, but Hawk didn't even crack a smile. They'd more than likely done the same song and dance with him earlier.
"Maybe a bit of both," Abigail allowed, deciding to play into their jeering. "This is all new territory for me, and I'm slowly discovering myself – all aspects of that included."
"Oh, totally keep doing that," the girl encouraged. "After I had my first orgasm, everything else fell into place."
Joy whacked her arm. "Ellie, gross."
"Well it's true, isn't it? You certainly seemed to be in a better mood after you bought your first v-"
"Hawk would probably know," Joy quickly cut in. "I mean, he is a guy."
Hawk gave a strained smile. "Nope, uh...not really. My life's still a mess, thanks."
"Oh, please," Ellie said. "Your parents are saintly. Your life can't be that bad."
"Appearances can be deceiving," Abigail muttered under her breath. She knew more than anyone how evil came in all shapes and sizes, and especially under the cloak of kindness.
Nobody seemed to have heard her (or perhaps more likely, were too stoned out of their minds to care). Passing the joint back to Joy, Abigail leaned back into the grass and sighed.
"You're feeling better about what to do already, aren't you?" Ellie asked, her voice decidedly smug.
"Yeah," Abigail softly agreed, "I think I finally know what to do now."
Cal was restless. Despite having gotten some new donors and recruits that afternoon, he couldn't help but lie wide awake thanks to the young, doe-eyed girl mere rooms away. She wasn't even that damn appealing, and yet she plagued his thoughts far worse than any disease.
"For fuck's sake." Sour, Cal rolled over and fluffed his pillow, now angrily edging his cheek into its downy softness. That was when his door clicked open.
"Cal?"
He immediately lifted his head, startled to find Abigail standing in the doorway. In the pale moonlight, she almost appeared ethereal in her long, diaphanous nightgown. "Yes? Is everything alright?"
Creeping toward the front of his bed, Abigail clumsily crawled across the mattress and stooped alongside him, her eyes wild and blue as she laid a hand on his arm. "I've thought about what I want," she whispered.
Cal wrinkled his nose. "If you've come to lecture me, I feel certain that it can wait 'til morning."
Ignoring him, Abigail lifted a leg and straddled his waist, triumphant when he made a soft, choking noise akin to a gasp. "Do you want to kiss me?" She tilted her head, chewing her lip as she appraised Cal's heaving chest.
"Do I want to kiss you?" he echoed. With shining eyes, his hands traced the trim of her panties as he whispered, "Not on your mouth…"
Confused, Abigail moved to protest, but gave a sharp inhalation when Cal pressed a raw, searing kiss to the warmth of her inner thigh. He licked and nuzzled at her skin, now tonguing her through the cotton of her panties. Abigail jerked in surprise. Fumblingly, she began to grind down into his open mouth, her hips rolling as Cal peeled her underwear down to her trembling knees.
Dutiful and aroused, Cal latched his lips onto her pulsing slit, kissing and licking at her perfumed heat. Abigail clawed at his shoulders and cried out, unabashed as she rocked eagerly into his face, her throbbing insides flickering around his tongue.
Behind her, Abigail fumbled for Cal's rock-hard arousal, which jerked in her grasp when she rolled her palm along his clothed erection. Cal tensed up and growled, now grinding into her palm as he devoured her more desperately. He sucked at her soaking slit, aching and wanting as she experimentally squeezed, pushed, and pulled on his length. He throbbed beneath his pajama bottoms, and when Abigail finally slid her hand beneath the waistband, he hissed and arched up into her greedy fingers.
"Please," he rasped.
That was when it happened. Lurching up with a sharp breath, Cal gaped around him in delirious alarm and blinked, only to find that Abigail was nowhere to be found and a warm, sticky discomfort was coating the inside of his pants. "Son of a bitch," he swore. Had that seriously been a dream?
Furiously, Cal tore off his covers and went staggering toward the bathroom.
A/N: Apparently, what I write when I'm trying to come up with plot is porn (I'm SO sorry, yikes). This is almost embarrassing. Though in my defense, this is the only Cal/Abigail fic around, so I need to satisfy my curiosity in some way. Ahem. The main problem is, I DO know how I want to end this, but I'm unsure of how to get there. Thanks a bunch to those who've read/reviewed, because it's honestly helped!
