Bold Italics are Sebastian's flashbacks.

Sebastian never thought that he could feel this kind of pain. After the last time he swore that he would never make himself vulnerable again. But he was stupid, stupid and naïve to think that this time would be any different than the last. While Dave didn't do what Aaron had done, he still left when Sebastian asked him not to, when he needed him to stay. As Dave walked away, it was like Sebastian was stuck in place and it was never ending as he walked away. It was like he was walking down a long hallway and it just wouldn't stop. He knew that Jeff and Nick were trying to console him but he couldn't hear what they were saying over his sobs, it felt as if his heart was slowly being cut out of his chest with a dull serrated knife. Then he was suddenly being lifted, he didn't know who was doing it or why they were but he couldn't care less. He knew it wasn't Dave so it didn't matter who it actually was. After a short amount of time he was being lowered onto a bed and Nick's face briefly appeared in his vision.

"Seb, talk to me. What do you need?" Nick framed Sebastian's face with his hands and looked straight into his eyes. Sebastian realized that he wasn't sobbing anymore and upon realizing that, he realized that he was trying to but no sound was coming out.

"Water." Sebastian barely croaked out, Nick just stayed where he was so he assumed Jeff went to get it.

"Sebastian you listen to me right now, you need to calm down and you fucking have to tell Jeff and I why you reacted the way you did. There has to be a reason for that level of a breakdown, do you hear me?" Sebastian just nodded. Nick was deadly serious and right now he looked murderous and dangerous but at the same time scared and anxious and worried. Now that Sebastian was out of the hall and with Jeff and Nick and not surrounded by people, he was able to calm down a little and breathe better. "That's great Seb, you have to calm down for us okay?" Sebastian just nodded again.

"Nicky I got the water." Sebastian turned and seen Jeff walking in the door. "Hey he's looking at me. Is he okay now?" Jeff ran to them quickly and sat beside Sebastian.

"He's calmer. Do you think you can talk to us Seb? Tell us what the hell happened?" Sebastian nodded and reached for the water in Jeff's hand. He grabbed the bottle and put it up to mouth and drank half the bottle in one go.

"Well I guess to explain why I fell apart; I will have to tell you the story of my first and only boyfriend." Nick and Jeff's eyes widened. He could understand, he wasn't necessarily the dating type but he had Aaron to thank for that. "His name was Aaron. We went to school together and he was my best friend, and we were inseparable, kind of like you guys. I never really had feelings for Aaron while we were still friends, I could admit that he was handsome and his body was fantastic but anybody can admit that about their friends, gay or straight. The night he asked me out was the day after I came out to my parents. I was petrified, I didn't want to tell them, to disappoint them but when I told them they said that they thought nothing less of me and still loved me as much as they did 20 minutes earlier. I was so happy that they were fine with me being gay and still loved me, I had never felt happier. The next day I called Aaron and told him to come over, that I had really good news. He came over and I told him everything. He was so happy for me and I was just riding the high of coming out, of telling my parents something that had bothering me for months, years even. He ran and gave me a hug, we stood there for a few seconds and then I pulled back. We were just standing there smiling like huge idiots at each other and then suddenly we were kissing. It was just chaste and exploratory. We had never been kissed by boys before so it was thrilling for us. After we separated he asked me on a date, it was so amazing. I thought our whole relationship was, we had never really fought and we spent a ton of time together. I fell hard and fast, I was so in love with him it wasn't even funny. One night he came over and my parents had an important trip they had to take to New York, so we were there alone. Bear in mind, I was nothing like I am now. Sex was never on my mind. Eventually we made our way to my bedroom, we made out a lot during our relationship, and I loved it. I thought that was sexy. I was so naïve back then. He must have gotten bored with it or already was because that night he decided to let his hands wander a little lower than he usually did, it weirded me out a bit so I tried to stop him.

When Sebastian felt Aaron's hands trying to go touch his ass he pulled back, with his lips and Aaron's making a slight smacking sound.

"Aar, what are you doing?" Aaron just dropped his head back onto the pillow and huffed.

"Trying to get some action. I had no idea you were such a prude Bast." Sebastian sat back on heels and frowned at Aaron.

"What are you talking about? We've making out aren't we." Sebastian was confused; he had thought that Aaron didn't mind the pace that they were currently going."I want to get past first base Bast, we've been making out for a month. Why can't we do a little bit more than just making out?" Aaron tried to slither his hands under Sebastian's shirt but he quickly stood up off of the bed.

"Aaron stop. I don't want to this." Sebastian was scared; he didn't understand why this was happening. What happened to his best friend and sweet boyfriend?

"C'mon Bastian, don't you love me?" Sebastian frowned. What kind of question was that? Of course he loved Aaron. He must have seen it on his face because he kept talking.

"Don't you trust me? I love you Bast, I love you so much. I would never hurt you; I just want to share this with you because you are very special to me." Sebastian sat on the bed. He loved Aaron and all the things that he just said were things that Sebastian would say to him if he was ready, but he wasn't.

"I don't think I'm ready Aar, it all is just so…big. It's a big deal, no a huge deal and I just don't believe I'm ready yet." Aaron's face was blank, showing nothing about what he was thinking or what he was feeling.

"So you don't love me enough to trust me?"

"Of course I love you! I love you so much Aar Bear."

"Then show me Bast, show me you love me because I don't see it." Sebastian brought his bottom lip into his mouth and chewed on it, his resolve starting to waver. Aaron must have seen that because he reached forward, framed Sebastian's face with his hands, and softly pressed his lips to Sebastian's. That kiss washed away any more doubts that Sebastian had. They kissed softly for a minute then Aaron licked the seam of Sebastian's lips asking for entrance which he granted. Their tongues tangled and wrestled before Aaron pulled back.

"Don't worry Bast, this will be the best decision you've ever made." He pushed Sebastian back onto the bed and straddled his hips before he lowered his mouth back to Sebastian's.

"We had sex. I was overwhelmed; all we ever did was kiss with tongue. That was as far as it ever went between us. And then all of a sudden we did everything at once; blowjob, hand job, and then anal. It fucking hurt. I knew that it would hurt to some degree; it was my first time after all. I did some research a little bit before then and it said it would hurt but it said that it would go away. But the pain never abated, I never felt any pleasure. Aaron he didn't do very much prep, he used lube to stretch me but he only up to two fingers, and he rubbed lube on his cock but that was it and for your first time you need a whole lot more. He just kept telling me how great I was for doing it with him and how much he loved me for it. I cried the entire time, and then he came, I didn't. And when he did he just pulled out fast, making it hurt more than it had to, and said, 'That was great Bast, thanks.' And fell asleep. I was devastated; I just rolled onto my side and silently cried myself to sleep. I woke up the next day, my ass felt like I had a chainsaw shoved up there and I was completely alone. I was a little upset because he wanted to do it so badly and then he just left while I was still sleeping. I cried again. I texted him and asked why he didn't stay. I tried to be cutesy but he didn't answer me. He didn't answer any of my texts that entire weekend. I was worried that something happened to him; I never thought he was avoiding me, I was too in love with him and I thought he would never leave me. I thought he was the one for me. I was so stupid. I found him at school during the last period of the day. He was obviously avoiding me but I was too wrapped up with worry about him to realize that he was. I ran up to him and hugged him; I didn't notice that he had stiffened or that he didn't hug me back. I was just happy that he was okay. He pulled out of my arms and took a step back. I will never forget what he said to me."

Aaron stepped back from Sebastian, making him frown.

"Aar, what's wrong?"

"Look Sebastian—"Sebastian knew something was wrong right then, Aaron never called him Sebastian…ever. I was always Bast or Bastian. "Things just aren't the same anymore. We've grown apart and I think it would be best if we broke up." Sebastian couldn't breathe; it felt like his heart was being pulled from his chest by Aaron's bare hands.

"You're breaking up with me? What was all that talk on Friday about loving me?"

"I did love you…before. And the sex was good and all but you kept crying and it really killed the mood so I don't think I want to go through that again." Sebastian couldn't believe it. How dare he.

"YOU don't want to go through it again? I was the one being ripped apart. You say my crying was killing the mood, well guess what asshole, you're the one who made me cry. You didn't prep me right and it fucking hurt, I was crying because of the pain you dick!"

"Look Sebastian just calm down. Accept that we're over and move on, I have." Sebastian froze, that sounded awfully foreboding.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Right then a tall, handsome blonde walked around the corner. He walked up and wound his arm around Aaron's shoulders and kissed his lips. Sebastian felt sick.

"Hey babe, who's this?" Blondie sneered at Sebastian.

"My ex I was telling you about, he just won't let me go. It's sad really." Aaron just smirked evilly at Sebastian.

"Aww how pathetic." Blondie sneered again and then Aaron turned and pulled Blondie with him.

"So I meant nothing to you? At all." Aaron turned and said the words that would haunt Sebastian and turn him to the empty shell of a person he would become.

"What can I say Bast, you were only fuck and chuck worthy." He smiled menacingly and Blondie sneered and they walked away, leaving Sebastian with a broken and dead heart.

"That explains why when you first saw me, you hated me." Jeff looked heartbroken and sad as he leaned on Nick and buried his face in his chest.

"Yeah at first you reminded me of him and I didn't like you because I was always reminded of Aaron and what I went through. But once I got to know you, you were nothing like him. You were kind and bubbly and now just telling you about him I thought how he looked like you and I was reminded of you and the good times I've had with you. I love you Jeff." Jeff looked up at Sebastian and smiled. He leaned forward and hugged him.

"It all makes sense now Seb. Why you pushed us away, why you keep pushing Dave away, and why you had so much casual sex."

"I figured that if I did the fucking and chucking that I would never have to go through it again. I figured that if I kept you guys at distance nobody would get close enough to learn my past. And I figured that if I also kept Dave at a distance, I wouldn't have my heart broken again. But that was all for naught, you guys know my past, I still was fucked and chucked, and my heart was broken. Granted it was my fault but it still hurts, it hurts so much you guys and I can't fucking stand it." More tears, the tears were really starting to get old.

"Sebs you listen to me right now. We are all happy you let us in and Jeff and I, we're happy you told us. Letting us know your past isn't a weakness, you are so incredibly strong for telling us something that caused you that much pain and we want to help you get past it and be happy. And the sleeping around, I understand why you did it somewhat. But if you're having sex just for the sex and leaving after it's done, well they have to have sex and leave you too. And you have to stop assuming that Dave will do what Aaron did because you know Dave won't do that, he told you that he wouldn't hurt you. I think you should tell him what you told us." Sebastian looked up at Nick with fear filled eyes.

"I can't do that Nick! He will think I am so pathetic and weak. Not only did my boyfriend dump me after he fucked me but I was so weak that I just went on a sex-filled rampage. I became what I hated the most about Aaron. I just can't, I can't." Sebastian laid his head in Nick's lap and started to cry again, always with the damn crying! Nick just sat there and ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair soothingly.

"I know it scares you Sebastian but sometimes the things that scare the most end up ultimately being the things that set us free. I know you love Dave and he clearly loves you so I think you should talk to him and tell him what you told us, he will understand and he will help you."

"What if he doesn't? What if I tell him and he finally sees what I pathetic excuse of a person I am and never wants to see me again?"

"Then you have to be strong for yourself. You have to move past this Seb and the only way to, is talk to Dave. But if I'm being completely honest, Dave would never think anything bad about you." Sebastian laid in Nick's lap a minute or two longer before he stood up and walked to the door. He put his hand on the door knob, turned it, opened the door and stood in the doorway. He turned around and faced Nick and Jeff.

"You're right." With that said he walked out the door and down the hall towards Dave's room. He reached his room and stood in front of Dave's door. This was it, he had to do this. He took deep calming breaths and then raised his fist and knocked on the door.

A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter, I thought that it was about time that I give some Sebastian backstory. I just want to thank everyone who reviews, your guys' reviews always make me smile and motivate me to write faster. I am just floored by all the views, alerts and favourites that my story has and it is amazing. Thank you guys so much, I am virtually hugging you all (I really love hugs).

Reviews are like a warm hug on a cold day :)