Chapter 9: Mixed Feelings Arise

I answer the door and smile at the person standing awkwardly there.

"Hi, Benny." Bruce says, shuffling his feet.

"Hey, Bruce. Wanna come in? We're just having breakfast."

"I actually just came here to properly say goodbye, that's all."

"Oh, okay." I feel disappointed, but oddly relieved. Steve comes behind me, still holding a spatula.

"Hi, Bruce, wanna come inside?"

"I'd love to, but I can't."

"That's a shame." Steve turns to go back into the kitchen when Bruce says something that startles him.

"Take care of her, Steve. She's a wonderful woman. Treasure her always, as I wasn't able to."

"You're talking like we'll never see you again." Steve almost laughs.

"I'm gonna lie low for a while. Just to relax."

"All right, but we'd better see you again sometime soon." I say, half teasing him.

"I promise I'll come visit in six months."

"We'll hold you to that promise, Banner." Steve warns Bruce. He nods at him, before leaving. I sigh and close the door.

"Are you all right, Benny?"

"I don't know, Steve." I bite my lip. He surprises me by turning me around and holds my shoulders. We stare at each other as the clock ticks loudly. I feel my heart beat faster, but then the moment is over by the clock chiming 10:00.

"Which one was the bathroom with a shower?" He asks, catching me off guard.

"The upstairs one. Look in the medicine cabinet for anything you'll need."

"Thanks, Benny." He nods at me before going upstairs. I clean up the kitchen and fifteen minutes later, Steve emerges from his room towel drying his hair.

"I guess it's my turn now to freshen up." I get up from my seat at a chair in the dining room and go upstairs to my room. After my shower, I meet Steve downstairs towel drying my hair. He smiles at me.

"What?"

"Nothing it's just that… This is my first sleepover."

"With a girl?"

"Actually just in general, why?"

"I don't know, I find that hard to believe. I mean, you're a sweet guy." I bite my lip and turn away from him to answer the ringing phone. I hear him chuckle and I blush.

"Hello?" I say into the receiver.

"Benny, is that really you?" Jane responds, shocked.

"Jane! You're alright!" I say, relieved.

"Of course I am, how are you?"

"I'm managing." I sit down in an armchair, sighing.

"I might stop by in a month, think you can pencil me in?"

"Sure, you know I love seeing you." I smile and write down that Jane will visit soon. Steve looks up from his paper at the kitchen table.

"We've got a lot to catch up on, so I'll just knock then."

"All right, see you. Love you!"

"Love you too, cos. Bye!"

"Bye!" I smile and hang up. Steve clears his throat. "That was my cousin, Jane. She wants to stop by in the next month to catch up with me."

"Oh…" His voice trails away.

"Anything interesting in the paper?"

"Not really. Tony's in the news, though."

"Good or bad news?"

"He was with Pepper Potts, so I'm guessing it's good."

"Pepper's in there too?" I look at the paper over his shoulder.

"See? Right there."

"Yeah I see. Yup, definitely good news!" I smile and Steve turns his head. I look at him, before backing away.

"Well, I'd better go dry my hair." I say, putting my undrunk coffee on the table before I leave again. This is pretty much how Steve and I live for a month. However, today (a month later) is a different day. I sigh and grab my phone from where it was charging last night. The picture that pops up is of Bruce and me. He's kissing my cheek as I'm laughing. A tear falls on the screen, and I sit down on the couch, crying silently.

"Why did I let you go, Bruce?" I put my head in my hands.

"Benny, do you have any – What's wrong?" Steve asks, sitting next to me wearing a red polo and jeans.

"Oh, hey Steve." I sniff, wiping away my tears. "I was just thinking about someone, that's all."

"Bruce?" He guesses. I nod, not trusting myself to speak. "I'm sorry, Benny."

"Why should you be sorry? You didn't do anything to break my heart."

"But I'm sure Bruce never meant to hurt you."

"I know that, I just wish things could have gone differently."

"You and me both." Steve sighs. I look at him, confused. "I mean, seventy years ago when I crash-landed in Arctic waters."

"Steve, there wasn't anything you could have done. If it were me, I would have done the same thing."

"Really?"

"Yes and I'm glad you did wind up alive and getting unfrozen in the 21st century."

"What do you mean?" He gives me a look.

"If you had died, I would never have gotten the chance to meet you."

"When you put it that way, I guess I'm a lucky guy." He looks into my eyes again. "I was wrong about you, Benny. You are the most beautiful and feisty woman I've ever met, but you've got a heart of gold. I know that sounds really cheesy, still it's true."

"Thank you Steve, and I was wrong about you too. You're not the stuck up bossy man I thought you were. You're a real hero, pure heart and the works. I'm glad we're friends because you've made me a better person." My eyes drop to my hands.

"Was that a compliment?" He teases. I softly laugh and playfully shove him. He laughs, causing me to notice just how handsome he is. I smile and go upstairs to my room. I close the door, leaning against it.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" I look at myself in the mirror. I take a deep breath and wrap a towel around me before I go into the bathroom. I close the door. After my shower, I stand in front of the mirrored medicine cabinet in my towel. My wet hair drips on the rug beneath my feet as I continue to stare at myself. A knock on the door causes me to let out a yell and jump, hitting my knee against the towel rack.

"Dammit!" I curse.

"Benny, everything okay in there?" Steve says through the closed door.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say through gritted teeth.

"In that case, there's someone here for you."

"Who?"

"It's me, Jane!" She says, sounding as though she'd pushed Steve out of the way.

"What?" I open the door, standing in my towel. Steve averts his eyes.

"Hey there, Benny!" She ushers me into my room and closes the door. She turns around as I take my towel off to get dressed.

"What're you doing here, Jane?"

"I heard about what happened last month and I wanted to see if you were all right."

"What do you mean?" I ask as I pull my blue shirt over my head.

"The Chitauri of course, what else?"

"I don't know… I thought you were talking about my breakup." I slip on my sweatpants, putting a towel around my shoulders. "You can turn around now, Jane." She does so, looking at me in surprise. I plug in my hairdryer and turn it on, drying my hair.

"Breakup, with who?" She widens her eyes. "Steve?"

"No, Bruce Banner."

"Who?"

"You know, the Hulk?"

"Oh yeah, him. Seriously?" She raises an eyebrow as I turn my hairdryer off.

"He's not such a bad guy once you get to know him." I sigh as I sit on my bed. Jane smiles sadly and sits next to me.

"You really liked him, didn't you?"

"I did, but I guess it was for the better. At least, that's what I told him."

"But you miss him now?"

"Everyday since he left in Tony's car. I never should have let him go." My voice breaks. Jane holds me closely.

"It'll be all right, cos, you'll see." She gently rubs my shoulder and consoles me.

"What should I do? I've never been this lost before."

"It's clear to me that Bruce has moved on in his life. You should do the same." She opens the door.

"Jane!" I run to the door. She turns around at the top of the stairs. Steve is watching the news. "What do you suggest I do?"

"Find someone else." She glances at Steve before she goes downstairs. I look at him, but then he stands and I lower my gaze to my feet.

"Are you leaving all ready, Miss Foster?" Steve says to her. I go downstairs slowly.

"Yeah, Darcy's waiting in the van for me and she'll kill me if I don't hurry up."

"It was a pleasure to meet you." He kisses her hand and she smiles.

"The pleasure was all mine. Oh, and take care of my little cousin. She could do with some cheering up right now." She gives me a wave before she leaves. Steve closes the door and turns to me with a confused look.

"Benny, I–" He starts before I startle him by running at him, giving him a bone-crushing hug. He staggers backwards and falls onto the couch.

"Ooh, you okay?" I ask, resting my hands on his chest.

"Yeah, I'm…" He realizes his lips are inches from mine. "… Fine." He whispers. I blink at him as we lie on the couch.

"Steve, I have to tell you something but I'm afraid to ruin our friendship."

"Try me." He gently brushes my blonde hair from my face. My heart is in my throat as I sit up slowly.

"I've been thinking about this for a while and I haven't gotten the courage to deal with it properly… I used to wonder who would love a freak like me, then Bruce came into my life. I thought I'd found the right guy, but then we broke up and he moved on. That's when you came to live with me and I honestly think you're the greatest hero in the world because you're my hero." I say all this very quickly, so it's no surprise to me when Steve looks at me in confusion again.

"Sorry, did you say I'm your hero?" His brow crinkles.

"Yeah, I did."

"You admire me then?"

"I more than admire you, Steve, I love you!" I blush as I say this and close my eyes, bracing myself. He's silent for a moment.

"In my most memorable dreams, I've heard you say that to me and I knew exactly what to say but now my mind is blank. All I can think of saying is: I love you too." He braces himself. I open my eyes and lean forward, meeting his warm lips. I back up, smiling.

"That's all I need to know, and it's perfect to me." I widen my eyes as he takes me in his arms and kisses me. I blink before I close my eyes. I mentioned that Bruce is a fantastic kisser, but he can learn a thing or two from Steve. We wind up in a full make-out session on the couch. At some point, I break it off as the doorbell rings again. The clock chimes 12.

"Quite the popular house today." Steve laughs, my lipstick smudged around his mouth. I bite my lip, smiling and answer the door. Tony stands there, and takes in my messy hair and smeared lipstick.

"Either you just woke up, or Bruce was here." He gives me a look.

"Actually, Bruce hasn't been here for over a month now."

"So, you just woke up?" Tony guesses.

"Tony, I've been up since 9 this morning. It's noon."

"Who's with you?" He asks, letting himself in.

"Just Steve, that's all."

"Steve Rodgers? The guy you can barely stand?" Tony gives me an incredulous look.

"Could barelystand, Stark. He's not so bad once you get used to him, which I have."

"But why Stars and Stripes?"

"He makes me happy. That's what you wanted, wasn't it? My happiness?"I give Tony a look.

"Yes, I still do want you to be happy." He looks up as Steve comes into the room, wiping my lipstick from his mouth. "Guess he made you very happy."