AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello! I hope your week has been beautifully! I bring you a new chapter...maybe it's a bit short but I promise you...next one will be longer, i'm working on it ;) As always, I must thank you for wonderful comments and support. I hope you enjoy...see you in the comments... Regards!

CHAPTER IX (Alex POV)

I got to my room in an instant; I forced myself to disappear before committing some stupidity, like taking her life…but no…I would not give her the pleasure to die any time soon. I'd rather starve than accept anything for you…Those had been her words. The loathing with which she delivered them was tangible; it almost felt as if I had been slapped on the face, humiliating…painful. The rage was so blinding that I do not even know how I was able to restrain myself from hurting her when I entered her cell to face her closely. Her rejection awakened the darkest part of my being; the one that cost me so much to keep tamed and that always remained latent but had been dormant for a long time. I wanted her to suffer…if she already hated me, she'd better prepare for what would come. I had vowed to myself to make it slow, and unbearable. She would have two options; ask for clemency or to die…

The beast contained within me got out of control, and at that time did not attend to reasons. I started to destroy everything that was within my reach…I blew bottles and ornaments against every wall; I ripped the velvet curtains out of every window and threw in the air each table and chair I could find. A firm knock on my door was heard over the sounds of my destruction…

"Alex!" Nicky exclaimed through the door, her voice muffled by it "What happened?" I tried to come back to me, but the fury was still itching in my skin…

"Don't come in Nicky!" I sternly warned her in a voice that was not mine… "I'm serious"

"I'm not scared of you" She said with confidence, although for the first time in her life she did not dare to open the door "C'mon…why don't you talk to me?" she could not bring me to my senses

"Get oooout!" I growled stamping a lamp against the door

I did not hear anything else from her. My hands were shaking at their will, my eyes seeking for some unscathed object, but it appeared that there was nothing left to smash. I allowed myself a couple of seconds to take in the wreckage I had caused, ashamed of myself…A hysterical laugh began to burst from the very depths of my throat…The whole situation was enormously absurd; who was she to trigger that reaction in me? to make me lose control like that? She was nobody, a mere mortal, fully replaceable…Really Alex? Could you really replace her? Another part of me inquired, reminding me that a moment ago I had just considered that maybe I liked her. Well…to hell with her! From then on I was going to consider her dead for all it mattered to me; as if she had never existed. I would order Sylvie to keep her away from me, to put her to work at hours when it was impossible for me to run into her…I did not want to see her again, I did not like the things she made me feel, the influence she seemed to have on me. After my sudden outburst, I could feel I was slowly regaining control over my rawest being…I picked up a chair from the floor and dropped myself on it; I felt tired. I let the silence calm me down for a long time

"Alex?" Of course she was not going to give up…this time her voice was softer "Please…let me come in…" I did not answer. I heard the door squeak timidly and turned my head to see her peering cautiously… "Are you alright?" She asked tentatively…I think her real intention was to ask if I was under control. I stared into her eyes to respond

"Yes…" I said…although my voice was still tinted with some grievous nuance. She stepped in, but kept a reasonable distance from me, her wary eyes did not leave mine

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Nothing happened"

"Oh…so I must guess that you just wanted to change the décor of your room…" she added ironically

"It's not a good moment for your jokes…" I replied sullenly

"I wonder if…by any chance it has something to do with a certain blonde" the mention of her revived my recent outbreak. I got up and approached her intensely, taking her by the arms

"Don't you ever dare to mention her in my presence…I don't want to know anything about her and I strictly forbid you to get near her ever again…" Again, that strange voice took over me, low and deep…her eyes were filled with fear at my intensity, and I think it was a first, she had never feared me before, so sure she knew I was very serious this time…

"Alright…take it easy…" she barely said trying to soothe me "I'll do as you say…" I loosened my grip on her arms and let her go

"You better…because if you don't, she will suffer the consequences, so if you care for her, keep yourself away from her…" I felt the need to reinforce my threat…Nicky knew I could never hurt her, but maybe if I told her that Piper was going to be the one to pay for her disobedience, despite being unfair, she would do as I said…

"That won't be necessary" she said firmly "Now…are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"No…I will not talk about it, and do not insist… from now on she is dead to me! Are we clear?!"

"Clear as water…"she nodded in agreement, raising her hands in a gesture of surrender

"Now leave me alone" I commanded. I did not want anyone to see me like this, like the proud creature that I was, I did not like to show my weaknesses, not even to Nicky, who knew me like nobody else

"I'll leave you alone…but if you want to talk about it just…I'll be there for you" after that, she left me halfhearted and I took my seat as if defeated

I was surrounded by chaos. The shattered objects scattered all over the floor were a metaphor of what was happening inside of me...I felt disordered just like the room. I could not understand what I was experiencing…I had not lost control this way for so long How did she get me so out of my mind? Well, it did not matter anyway because it was not going to happen again, I would make sure of it. Sylvie showed up at noon with my lunch. She registered my room with wary eyes…

"My lady?" she began… "What…what happened?"

"Just a little accident…" was all I said without bothering to look in her direction

"Are you alright?" she left the tray on the floor at the entrance, since the usual table for my meals was overturned on the other side of the room

"I'm perfectly fine…" I said with a falling voice, and she did not know what to do…

"I'm…I'll clean the mess" she stated and knelt with the intention of starting to clean and began to pile up the small pieces of glass that I could no longer distinguish what object they had belonged to, and I just watched her for a moment, wondering why she had never made me experience not even a tenth of the interest she appeared to arouse in me…it would be much easier. Sylvie had her flaws; for starters, she was not a good person, but to be honest, it was a quality that made me have more in common with Sylvie than with her. Nonetheless, she was always very attentive and caring to me, although most likely she did it selfishly, I couldn't know sometimes…did she really care about me?

"Sylvie…" I called her attention…from the ground she looked up with curiosity… "Why are you always so kind to me?" Was it out of fear? Was it for self-interest? Was it because she really cared about me? Did she feel obliged to do so? My question seemed to disconcert her

"Because, I'm to serve you my lady" Her answer did not satisfy my concerns

"So you feel obliged…" I assumed after what she said

"No…not obliged…I do it with pleasure my lady" I did not believe her, I knew she was lying but I did not insist because, how could I even ask that? It was a stupid question with an obvious answer… All who served me had to do it fervently; after all, they owned me their lives. I had granted them pardon for their crimes in return for giving their lives to the service of darkness; they had no choice but to comply…except her, that seemed reluctant to please me…"Why do you ask my lady?" she got me out of my reverie

"For no particular reason…" I simply added and she continued her task but I ordered to stop "Leave that…"

"But…I cannot leave your room like this my lady…"

"Sure there must be someone else who can do it…" she smiled getting up and stepping closer towards me

"I can think of a particular princess…" she purred but I had to interrupt her

"Don't…let's not talk about her…" she stopped right in front of me "I never want to hear from her…ever again" her face was curious

"And what am I supposed to do with her?" she asked puzzled

"Do whatever you want with her" My voice was cold as ice "As long as you keep her alive" I added as I quickly knew that it was a terrible idea to give her so much freedom over her, but my resolution was firm…after what she did, I was not going to change my mind this time, and like I had already stated in my mind, I wanted her to suffer until she begged me for clemency. Sylvie seemed extremely pleased by my words…she leaned toward me, supporting her hands on the armrests of the chair and whispered against my lips…

"How can I repay you for the gesture?" she kissed me biting my lower lip

"I don't…I don't think I'm in the mood Sylvie" I broke the kiss

"Lately you are never in the mood" she complained "Let me take care of you" she breathed heavily, again pressing her lips against mine

Although I knew Sylvie's caring was an illusion, in that moment I couldn't care less. More than ever, I was desperate to experience something that could make me forget the things that were starting to grow inside me. I needed to prove to myself that she did not have any kind of power over me. I closed my eyes and tried to leave my mind blank, but I could not find a way to erase her face, to stop thinking about how her hot lips would feel on mine…pox on her! In that moment I felt great revulsion for Sylvie's lips

"No!" I almost growled pushing her away from me…her face darkened dangerously and she straightened herself biting her tongue…silence took over the room

"Is there anything else I can do for my lady?" She said after some seconds trying to keep her composure with effort

"Send her later to clean this mess…" It was only fair for her to be the one who would clean the wreckage I had caused, after all, none of it would have happened if she had accepted my invitation… "But I don't want to see her" I continued "so make sure I'm at the library first…"

"As you say my lady" She left hastily, leaving my lunch on the floor, and in there it would stay the rest of the day without being touched

That night, I was on the library, trying to keep my mind busy, but I could only concentrate on the sounds coming from the adjoining room; she was in there, only one door apart from me. I got closer to the door, pressing my ear on it…I could hear her footsteps, her laborious breathing by the effort made… Stay away from her Alex…I was startled by the sound of that voice and immediately recoiled from the door...She does not do you any good…For the first time I had to agree with it…In fact, you should get rid of her as soon as possible...except for that last part "What?" I asked out loud shocked by the insinuation…Ohhh Alex, don't play the innocent with me, I know you better than anyone, I've seen what you are capable of…just tear out her heart… "No…" I firmly denied… That's nothing for you, one heart more one heart less… "Shut up!" I shouted and disappeared quickly, getting away from there as soon as possible. I was standing somewhere in the middle of the woods, surrounded by ghostly trees. I waited to hear that damned voice again, but after a while without hearing it, I thought I had it under control. Nevertheless, I stayed put, without daring to return to the castle, afraid to hear the voice again. Why was I so shocked by whatit had told me? when earlier that day I had stated that she was dead to me, that I did not care about what happened to her…It was all too confusing, but one thing was clear, I could not imagine myself tearing out her heart, besides, she had paid me with her freedom, so I needed her alive because otherwise, she would have not value. All I had to do was staying as far from her as possible, as simple as that...

The days after that night were not easy to bear. I had forbidden her presence in the north wing where my chambers were settled, as an extra measure. Nicky had tried to talk to me about her several times, but I had stopped her right away, threatening to worsen her situation, so she had given up. But none of those measures appeared to be enough, sooner or later, I was meant to run into her…

One day, I had left the castle early with Nicky, to go collect payments and felons as we always did once a week, and we had no intentions of returning anytime soon, but we were forced to do so because it had begun to rain fiercely. I was not the one who had problems with the rain; I just did not want Nicky to get a cold. With our clothes soaked and our boots full of mud, we entered through the main wooden gate and there she was…kneeling on the last steps of the great central staircase; I had not seen her for five days...I realized that I had kept track of the days, which was not usual in me. She turned her head when she heard us, and did not know what to do when we locked our eyes; after a couple of seconds, she got up with great effort, supporting herself on the rail. I felt something in the pit of my stomach when I took in her appearance. Her hands were bandaged and held in an awkward way; her bright blue eyes were worn out with dark circles; her cheekbones seemed to stand out prominently, which made me assume that she had not been feeding properly. She seemed about to fade away. I stared into her sad eyes, wanting to tell her…You are responsible for this, it's your fault, it doesn't have to be this way…ask me for forgiveness; she could not bear the intensity of my gaze and lowered her face. We walked towards the stairs. Apparently she had been polishing the black marble of the great stairs, and she had done a great job because the steps had never shone so brightly.

"My lady" She said with a lifeless tone while bowing solemnly. She reached my right hand with her bandaged one to press her dry and cracked lips on it. I felt a lump in my throat and I could not utter a single word. Nicky was the one to respond, although she was not very sure of what to say in such circumstances

"Well ammm" awkwardness was clear in her voice "We better take off our boots…we don't want to stain the stairs with mud after your hard work…" She bent down and began to untie her boots…but I stood my ground

"Thank you Nicky" She referred to Nicky sweetly

Again, she crossed her gaze with mine, and in spite of her deteriorated state, her pride remained unbent in her eyes. She was waiting for me to do the same as Nicky, but there was no way I was going to take off my boots before her look swollen with pride. She looked at me intensely, lifting her chin with pride. I broke our eye contact and started to climb up the stairs, making sure to leave a great amount of mud with every step.

"Alex! What the hell!" Nicky's voice was full with reproach however, it did not stop me "I'm so sorry Piper" I heard her apologizing to her and running behind me with her bare feet, until we got to my room "Alex!" she took me violently by an arm, forcing me to turn around "What the hell are you doing?" She asked really pissed

"What did I do?" I responded nonchalantly untangling myself from her grasp

"Alright…you know what?" she hesitated a moment, but right away determination was clear on her face "Enough is enough! I'm not going to let you keep treating her like this!"

"You…are not going to let me" I repeated her words in disbelief

"Congratulations! You have an excellent hearing" she added sarcastically "You have crossed the line with her…"

"I've crossed a line?" I cut her out

"You have no right to humiliate her like that! You should be ashamed of yourself but I know you will not because you are just an idiotic and self-centered creature!" Nicky had never talked to me like that, she was furious. After shouting at me her eyes showed sadness "Did you see her? Did you notice her thinness? Her weakness? Her bandaged hands?" her words reached me deeply and I could only lower my eyes with shame. She got closer to me trying to look me in the eye "I know you…you are not cruel or sadistic, despite what others think" I finally met her eyes "You are killing her Alex…is that what you really want? Because I think there are faster and less painful ways of doing so…"

"I'm not killing her…she's killing herself" I was reluctant to accept the blame "If she's willing to do so, she can come to me and ask for my forgiveness" She looked at me with a disappointed look and breathed deeply

"Do what you want then…" she sounded tired and started walking away in defeat, but stopped at the door to say one last thing "I just hope you don't regret it when it's too late" and with that, she closed the door behind her and left me in a pit of despair.

With her last words, upsetting images came to my mind...Her lifeless body laying on the cot at her cell…her pale face with no blood to warm her cheeks and the bones protruding through the thin veil of her skin. I felt sick, as if I could vomit at any moment…What have I done? I had promised her to treat her with respect and humanity, and I had failed her. She had given me everything, and I could not even treat her well. It was not going to be easy for me to apologize, it was something I had never done before, but if I did not, the alternative was frightening. In that moment I was certain that I did not want her dead, I did not want her to suffer…I wanted her alive, healthy and happy, if that was possible…

I quickly drew a plan in my mind. I only hoped she was willing to make amends with me because if she wasn't, that would be her last chance…