Author's Note: I guess you could call this chapter bittersweet.

We Tried - The Drums


"I-I don't understand," I gasped, "How?"

I watched my mother entwine and entangle her fingers together, but then pry them apart. I saw her eyes well up, her chest heave, her face crumple. I felt it too – her pain was my pain. Each sob was a punch in the chest, each tear was the crumpling of my heart.

"I had it when I was younger," Her voice started in a quick whisper, her secrets pouring out, "Due to mutations in my DNA, it's complicated really – nothing I can explain well. But I was treated and it went away, I thought- I thought. For a while. It's back, the doctor said I have Acute Leukemia, wh-which means that it's rapidly progressing."

My lips moved but no coherent words tumbled out, just my mere and faint whimpers. My mind whirled making me unable to see straight as it fell and thought and tripped over words – rapidly progressing. Rapidly. How much time did she have left? Weeks, months. Days?

At the thought my stomach flipped and I felt my lunch hurtling up my throat. I only just made it to the sink in time. I fell to her side, resting my head on the tiles, the tears pathetically oozing down my equally pathetic face.

"Mum,' I murmured into the cold tiles, "I love you."

I felt a hand on my hair, for a second time today, but it felt different. Sadder.

"I love you too, baby. I'm so sorry."

I shook my head, and it would have been furiously if I didn't feel so weak, "Don't be sorry, this couldn't possibly be your fault."

She was being silly, again. My silly, blissful, carefree mother – my only family, the only best friend I had truly and completely known. I felt a sharp excruciating jab in my heart as I thought of the possibility, the chance that she could be taken away from the earth and from my life. The tears ran harder as I gripped on the table for support, my mind for once being too much for me.

The words had lingered long enough on the tip of my tongue, I spat them out almost silently, "Is it treatable?"

She spoke slowly, weighing the words as they broke the silence, "Yes. Chemotherapy to start with."

"To start with?" I cried

She was shaking slightly, I hoped it was from the cold and not due to her frail condition, "Then, in remission, presuming the Chemo goes as planned, I'll still need what they call consolidation therapy, this involves a bone marrow transplant."

I shivered, "Mum, I'll do anything- If I'm a match I'll give you the bone marrow, please, I'd do anything-"

She gave me a forced laugh, trying to be the stronger one of us, before giving me a wobbly smile, "Honey, you don't have to. Don't do it if you don't-"

I shot her a glare, "Of course I'll do it. I'd do anything."

She gave me a sad look, "You might not even be a match," She said softly, "But I'll appreciate it all the same."

"Anything." I whispered wrapping my arms around her too thin figure, "I'd do anything mum, please."

"You are so strong," She whispered back in our secret embrace, something I didn't think I would share with anyone. It was a moment, just the two of us, mother and her daughter.

She tucked a stray clump of hair behind my ear, "If anything happens," She continued, still whispering, ignoring the agonized expression on my face, "You'll be fine baby, so strong and so smart. Don't ever let me hold you back, you will shine."

My face crumpled, my heart ached, the lump in my throat ached.

It was just the two of us and I would give anything in the entire world just for it to stay like that.

Her and I,

mother and daughter.


Rain was predictable, rain was familiar. It splattered my clothing in the short walk from the school to my car, it made temporary patterns in the pavement, it created a rhythm on my roof. I could count on rain; it woke me up and sang me to sleep. Softly and slowly but today the sky swirled with gray. The rain was almost like a waterfall, soaking me to my core.

Not letting up, I sat through my classes in a cloud of silence, watching the rainfall, my eyes drifting towards the window. La Push was so green, it was nice. Yet my out of character behavior made me feel as though something was slightly off. The memory of yesterday was still fresh in my mouth. The tears that had pathetically dribbled down my face, the vomit that had left my throat raw but my insides emptier than before. So, so empty.

I trail out to the student car park when the day is over, parka folded over my arm as I let the cold rain wake me up. The school was empty, I was too caught in my foolish daydreams to notice.

"Kim?" I hear, "Kim?"

And without even looking I know it's him. It always was. The ethereal voice filling me until I was whole, washing out any tension and penetrating my heart. The rain fell as I turned to face him, drowning the other Kim, the Kim struggling with her identity and feelings.

He took another step and I watched the rain cling to his eyelashes, "It's raining. Please don't catch a cold."

The concern and sincerity sent shivers through my soul, and I suddenly felt as though I grasped the reality of him, of me and of us. What we could be.

I continued to linger in my silence, staring at him feeling almost awestruck.

"Please," He murmured, about a meter away, "Kim I- I just need to tell you." He gulped in air through the rain. There were no other sounds but the rain and him.

"I love you Kim. I haven't always but I you've changed me, so much." I couldn't tell if it was the rain of the tears that streaked down his face, "I-It's like you're my heart, my lungs, my air. Kim, you're my everything now, I would even give up life just so you could live. I love you. Always."

The Skinny Love was broken. The love, in which both of us were too shy, too cautious to admit to, was broken.

And then it was my turn. I took two steps and closed the gap between us, between our hearts. With two hands cupping his face I pressed my lips against his and found myself falling and spinning and living. His lips were warm despite the cold that hung in the air, and soft, so tender but urgent against my own – I felt myself unfolding.

Our bodies created a wall of warmth as I pressed myself against him, his hand now in my hair, the other on my face. I felt dizzy as the rain trailed down off his face onto mine but then realized that there was a chance it wasn't rain. His relief, his love and his hope swirling down my face, triggering my own tears.

Tears of pure and wholehearted joy, yet at the same time, utter devastation.

I felt sick at myself, my mum, my only family, had Leukemia and here I was acting as though there wasn't anything wrong. My stomach churned with longing as I pulled away, not meeting his eyes.

"Leukemia," I choked out in a whisper, "My mum has Leukemia."

He held me while I sobbed into his chest.

He was so warm so why did I feel so cold?


Author's Note: So yeah, sad but relieving. I'm trying to do as much research on Leukemia as possible just so I get everything right, but if anyone notices something wrong, feel free to point it out.

Also, i'm not sure if many of you have seen but I've got a new story out - a Seth/OC imprint story with a twist i guess. The girl is blind and so far it's gotten some positive and encouraging feedback. Feel free to go have a look see. ;)