My laptop's been messing up (yet again) but it should be up and running again soon. Luckily I had most of this saved in my DM. :) I think I may be on hiatus until June as well. I have so many final exams to revise for, but I'll find time to catch up with this eventually.
Thanks for all the reviews! Only 8 chapters and over 50 reviews :D Dumbledore would be proud!
I woke up on Sunday morning with a feeling of dread that somehow Ron could have found out about Harry and I. Then again, the two of them would be too busy fretting over the first Quidditch match of the year this afternoon. The sleet and rain outside didn't perk up my mood either. Dressing in Gryffindor colours, I hoped Ron would be able to fire up his confidence for the game. However, when I found Ron huddled over his toast in the Great Hall, I knew something was up. Ron never abandoned his food.
"Ron, you'll be fine. There's nothing to worry about." I told him, holding his shoulder. He shook it off and gave me a harsh look.
"And who said there was?" He snapped back, turning away from me.
"Sorry. You don't have to snap at me."
"Hermione's right, Ron." Harry, being the supposed great friend that he was, assured him. "We will definitely beat Slytherin, without a doubt. You were great last practice, so you won't mess up."
"Look, thanks for the pep talk and everything, but if we lose, I'm resigning." Ron sat back on the bench, eyeing his fried egg with disgust. He really was not acting himself.
"That won't happen. You need to eat. Here, have a drink." A flash of gold appeared in Harry's hand: Felix Felicis. Harry passed the goblet across to Ron and I knew - oh Merlin, I knew - that Harry couldn't possibly be trying to do this.
"Ron, don't!" I dragged the cup away from Ron's mouth, who frowned at me again. "Harry, how dare you?"
"What?" They both retorted.
"He just put something in your juice."
"I did no such thing!" Harry glanced at me with a scowl, and I then noticed the faintest wink. I turned back to Ron, wondering what on earth Harry thought this would be good for.
"Ron, do not drink that." I warned him. Ignoring me, picked up the drink again. I whispered over the table to Harry. "I swear Harry, you could get suspended-"
"Hermione, just shut up for once." He swallowed the glass in one. I couldn't have despised him more than I did in that moment. Did Harry really have such little faith in Ron's Keeping skills?
"Fine. Be that way."
I slammed my fork back onto the table, stood up and stormed out of the Great Hall. Harry had no right to slip Ron that Felix Felicis; he was surely going to be discovered soon enough without my meddling. I thought about telling Madam Hooch or McGonogall for a moment, but I would only be make things worse for myself. Ron would never forgive me for not letting them try to win against Slytherin, and Harry would take it far worse.
I heard a snigger, one I was sure belonged to a certain smug blond Slytherin. I didn't want to stay around to listen to his insults any longer.
"Poor, poor Mudblood."
"Shove off, Malfoy." I stopped, and glanced back. There was no harm in wanting Gryffindor to lose for once, clearly, if they were going to treat me as though I wasn't part of the house. "Actually... good luck. Thrash Gryffindor for me, why don't you?"
The oddest look appeared on his face, halfway between confusion and the smugness of his signature smirk. I walked off without another word.
I sat by the lake, not caring about the icy wind that was chilling me to the bone. Pulling my coat closer around my body, I tried to understand why on earth I had just told Malfoy, someone I knew was definitely up to something, be it under Voldemort's orders or not, to beat Gryffindor. Some house spirit I was promoting. Opening my Ancient Runes textbook, I skimmed its pages, barely taking a word - or rune - of it in. It was hopeless to try and concentrate in this mood. I slammed it shut after a few minutes and looked up to find Ginny walking over to meet me.
"Hi, Hermione."
"Hey Gin. You'd best be getting ready for the game." I wanted to be alone, to think, to relax. But this was Ginny Weasley; the girl who was stubborn enough to decide to go to the Ministry last summer despite our forewarnings, who stayed with me while I was recovering in the hospital wing, who wanted to cheer me up when I was down right now. I realised this would be one of the rare times when she would not be able to do that.
"Are you okay?"
"Not really. Your brother is-"
"-an absolute dunderhead. Yeah I know, I've had to put up with it for nearly sixteen years."
"How are you and Dean?" Talking about my troubles would be useless, I'd just become even more frustrated.
"Brilliant." She smiled charmingly, sitting herself down in a small crook of the tree beside mine. "What about you? I haven't seen you with anyone lately... I'd have thought you'd be deciding who you were taking to Slughorn's Christmas party by now."
"Oh, I don't know." My hands cupped my elbows, trying to keep warm. My breath fogged up the air as I spoke. "I'm not going with Ron after what happened just now."
"I heard."
"I suppose there's always Harry. We could go as friends." I felt my cheeks burn from this utter lie. Ginny would see right through me - yes, she had that slight turn at the side of her mouth, halfway between a smirk and a smile. "What?"
"You don't... have any feelings for Harry do you?" She asked quizzically, raising her eyebrows, as if wondering whether I thought she was barking mad or not. Of course, she was spot on.
"Why do you ask?"
"I've just noticed lately. He seems to look at you differently."
"Do you still like him?"
"Not really. I can't believe I was such an idiot when I started Hogwarts." She laughed, blushing in such a Weasley-esque way I had to laugh too. "I was head over heels like some sort of dippy little fangirl. Yes I like him... but he's just a great friend, like a big brother to me now. Besides, I have Dean, and I couldn't ask for anyone better."
"Aw, that's sweet."
"Hermione, you still didn't answer my question." She teased, poking my elbow. I pretended I had no idea what she was on about. "You. Harry. With an 'and' in the middle."
"Not as far as I know." I busied myself with my Runes book again. My stomach began to tie itself into knots, though that was biologically impossible. Ginny was the sort of person who could tell I was lying by the look in my eyes. She placed her hand over the page, the words becoming barely legible.
"Don't be vague." She tried to pull the book from my lap.
I yanked it back forcefully before saying, "Don't say anything to Ron then." My hand shot to cover my mouth when I realised what I told her. Me and my stupid big mouth.
"So you do!" A knowing grin spread across her face.
"I never said that. Neither did I deny it." I felt relieved; I had told no-one in case word spread to Ron, yet I was sure I could trust Ginny to keep this secret for a while.
"I promise, I won't breathe a word to anybody. Don't you think you should tell him at some point?"
"I have to. Just not now."
"I'm not sure about Ron." She said. I turned my head at her words, listening to her opinion intently. "He blows hot and cold around you sometimes. I don't know if he likes you in that way."
"Do you think he'd be mad if I told him?"
"I think so," She squeezed my shoulder in comfort. "But he'll have to deal with it, won't he?"
"You make it sound so easy." I sighed, feeling much calmer now that my feelings for Harry were now out in the open.
"You didn't hear our argument a few nights ago." She cringed at the thought, pulling her iconic titian hair back into a ponytail. "He caught me kissing Dean in secret, and nearly bit my head off. I told him he was being an immature little child who hadn't kissed a girl properly before and he- god, he's going to freak out about you."
"Thanks for the warning though."
"Anytime." She glanced across the lake as someone shouted at us, most likely Dean. She waved back and stood up. "Just... I'd save telling him for after Christmas. Otherwise it'll be hell during the holidays."
"Good luck."
"Thanks, I don't know if we're going to play that well today - wow, I didn't realise it would be so sunny today. Maybe our luck's changing."
"Harry." I cursed under my breath. I realised this was all part of his plan to make this the best Quidditch match for Ron and the team. Eurgh, he didn't have to cheat. If he was found out, Merlin help me...
"I'll see you at the game."
It was definitely one of the best games Ron had ever played. He saved every single attempted goal, some where he was just clinging to the Quaffle with his fingertips. He was lucky, almost impossibly lucky. I glanced up at the towers of the pitch to see Harry circling the area, and took this as a tactic he used to find the Snitch. They were winning eighty-nil by the time both Malfoy and Harry had located the Snitch, diving at the same time. Something was odd, I realised, as they rocketed towards the ground. The Slytherin seeker wasn't Malfoy. Why wasn't he playing?
I tried not to jump to conclusions so quickly, that Malfoy would be skipping one of the most important matches of the year to do whatever he was doing in the Room of Requirement. Moving along the stands, I reached the stairwell, watching Harry with his arm outstretched towards the Snitch. I didn't need to watch any further to know how the game would finish: the shouts and cheers from the Gryffindor stands declared it.
I was already inside the castle by the time the Quidditch team stormed the Entrance Hall. Taking a quick left turn down a narrow corridor, I ran along secret passageways before reaching the seventh floor. The door was not there, not that I really expected it to be. I closed my eyes, focusing. I need to find the place where Malfoy is working. Apprehensively, I opened one eye. Still no door. I need to know what Malfoy is doing inside this room. I sighed. Even after several more attempts, there was no chance that I would get into the Room. I supposed that Malfoy had wanted it to be undetectable by other people. It was no use trying any more.
Opening the portrait to the Common Room I was overwhelmed by the loud yells and cheers inside. I scanned the room for any sign of Harry, but something else caught my eye. Ron's lips were glued to Lavender's as if there was no tomorrow. What was he doing with someone like her? She only liked him now because he was the star of the show in the match.
"Ron, where's Harry?" I asked, as soon as the two of them had come up for air from their snogging session.
"Oh piss off, Hermione." There was a subtle hint of Firewhiskey coming from his breath as he barged my arm away roughly. "Just because I'm with Lavender doesn't mean you need to interfere and snap at me all the time. Live a little, Hermione."
"Interfere? Excuse me?"
That was it. He was always saying 'Live a little, Hermione' this or 'Get off my back' that: in fact, it felt as if he hardly spoke to me as a friend anymore, as if I was just there.
"Come on, Lav." He looped his arm through hers as she dragged him back off into their corner.
How dare he? He was supposed to be my friend. I was not jealous, not in the slightest. But snogging girls' faces off to try to make me envious was just a step too far. I had the right mind to tell him there and then that he only won because of that Felix Felicis. He didn't have to be so smarmy about it. I wished I could have told him about Harry and I and see it just blow up in his face... no, I couldn't do that. I furiously rubbed my eyes to halt my tears.
I walked along until I reached an old empty classroom, some of the desks pushed to one side. I crawled upon one, my arms tucked around my legs. It was quiet and peaceful, a pleasant change from the boystrous common room. I could think clearly. I conjured a charm, six golden birds circling around in the air above me, calmly whistling to one another. It would have been comical, as though I was one of those slapstick cartoons... but there was nothing funny about this. They still seemed to have a peaceful effect on me. Their fluttering reminding me of golden Snitches... of Harry.
As if on cue, the said person slowly eased open the door.
"Evening, Harry." I mumbled under the wool of my jumper.
"I heard what Ron said..." He trailed off and sat beside me on the desk, placing his hand over my own.
"It's okay." I blinked rapidly. "He's got Lav-Lav now. I just couldn't stand that smug little face of his. He's been acting like that all day. No thanks to you."
"Hermione." He started. I rolled my eyes, waiting for an explanation. He took the bottle of Felix Felicis out of his jeans pocket, still completely full to the brim of the golden liquid. "Look, I didn't put it in. I wanted it to look like that so Ron would feel better during the game. I swear, I was actually worried you would tell McGonagall."
"You think I would stoop that low?" I questioned him, crossing my arms. He pressed his forehead against mine, before tucking a loose curl behind my ear. "I'm sorry I doubted you, Harry."
"Me too." His thumbs brushed against my cheeks, gently catching the last few tears that trailed down them. I looked up into his eyes again. Curse those green eyes. That smile. That irritatingly cute tuft of dark hair covering his scar. What was he doing to me?
His face dropped.
"Ooh, looks like this room is occupied." A shrill, giggly voice said. Merlin, no. No, not now-
"What the HELL are you doing?" Another voice bellowed. I closed my eyes, wishing I wasn't there at the moment. Why didn't I lock the door or go to the Room of Requirement? I was far more scared than I thought I'd ever been before by Ron's tone.
"Ron." Harry and I gasped.
"How long has this been going on?" He stepped properly inside the room, taking in the distance between Harry and I, the way it must have appeared to him. This was too awful, I never wanted him to find out this way. "How long?"
"Come on, you're being stupid-" Harry started, and I immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say.
"Oh really?" I noticed Ron's hand flex instinctively for his wand.
"Ron, please..."
"So he's been trying it on with you?" He shouted, spitting out every word with venom and disgust. He wanted to hurt me... just as I had hurt him, not intentionally. He was a hypocrite, a filthy hypocrite. But I was too, wasn't I?
"Ron! I do not let someone try it on with me!" I tried to keep my voice steady, yet I strained to make any sense at all. "You're being unreasonable-"
"Me? Sorry, I didn't think it was reasonable for your best friends to go off sucking face with each other."
"We just-" Harry stepped forwards, barring Ron and I from yelling at each other any further.
"No wonder you've been wandering of without me! Harry, you knew I liked her!"
"Well if you at least showed it to her, and stopped being such a git all the time-" Harry shouted back, taking out his wand. Ron scoffed. "You barely treat her like a friend, let alone anything more. What did you expect?"
"Harry, don't. He's not worth it." I whispered, pulling his hand down.
"You clearly take your pick of Quidditch players, don't you, Hermione?" He bit back at me. His eyes narrowed, full of rage that I had caused. I couldn't stand it. "Krum. Harry Potter, the Chosen One."
"Get. Out. Now." My hand was trembling terribly, but fighting to keep myself determined, I raised my wand. "Now!"
Golden flecks flashed past my head, their direction veering towards Ron. He dodged them, all six of them hammering the door. He gave me one more glare before slamming the door with all his might.
"Hermione."
Harry spoke weakly, probably just as guilty and upset about this fall out as I was.
"You knew?" I couldn't look at him. Harry said he never thought Ron saw me as more than a friend... he wouldn't lie, would he? This was Harry Potter, my... I wasn't quite sure what he was to me anymore. He was my best friend, my confidant - as I was to him - but what could I call him now? Why else would I be willing to hurt Ron unless it was for someone I cared more about? It was true, I cared about Harry so much, perhaps too much at times. Did I love him? I'd never felt this way before... certainly not towards Ron or Viktor. Not in the same way.
There were different kinds of love, I knew. I loved Ron, or at least I had before this, but only in a way a brother would tease and annoy his sister. Ron didn't usually treat me any differently as he would Ginny - yes, he was overprotective, but that was just how he was, I couldn't change that. Harry... this was the first time I was thinking too much and still could not come up with an answer.
"I didn't. He never told me he liked you in that way. Trust me, I would have told you otherwise, I swear."
I trusted him.
