(A/N Replies:
To mks 12 98:
Equinox: *Cough cough cough*
RAGE: "Fail."
Equinox: "What? I tried to sound mysterious."
RAGE: "You didn't even hint anything in the middle."
Equinox: "Oh. Lemme try again… Ah, curses!" *Keels over from lack of oxygen*
RAGE: "To actually answer your question:
"We'll just slap some stickers on it from your old Nadder-420. You know, just over Night Fury's trademark design." Ronnie got up to get the door. "Hey guys, come on! Mom needs help with the groceries!" She yelled before locking the holder for the screen door to stay open.
Equinox: "Thanks for the review…" X_X
To Omodor:
Equinox: "…"
RAGE: "Contradiction. Just keep writing, Equino."
To Francesva:
RAGE: "So somebody just warned you to take it down?"
Equinox: "Lemme at 'em! Lemme at 'em!"
RAGE: "You're as intimidating as a sleeping kitten."
Equinox: "Don't insult kittens! Wait a second…"
To fan:
Equinox: "Should I be worried?"
RAGE: "Of what?"
Equinox: "Everybody wants to see Ash getting her ass kicked…"
RAGE: "Someone steals my bike, I would want to give that person a can of whoop-ass."
Equinox: "It's an inanimate object…"
RAGE: "You're only over thinking it because Ash is the equivalent of Astrid from HTTYD."
Equinox: "N-no!"
RAGE: "No use denying it-"
Equinox: "Shut up!" *Runs away*
RAGE: "Hmm. It's quieter already…"
Disclaimer: I do not own HTTYD or any of the Speed Racer elements {insert 10 cent word here} in this story. This story is non-profit.
Oo-oOo-oO
HRT Tower Garage - Tuesday Afternoon
"That's what you get for eating breakfast when I told you not to." Hector didn't have any trouble eating his Sonic's breakfast burrito while watching the two trainees yakking their own start of the day meal. Hector was surprised at their punctuality. The male rookies actually came in before the girls did, they even had an excited aura radiating off them. "One warm-up heat and you'll throwing up like babies." Hector snorted and took another bite.
All three males were in the HRT garage. Specifically, by the entrance to the tunnel to the racetrack.
"Aw man, get that smelly burrito out of here!" Teddy wiped his mouth with his wrist and staggered back over to his bike. He sat down and hunched over to rest his head on the handlebars.
"That was not a warm-up heat! That was attempted homicide!" Stewart held onto his stomach. Stewart did have a point. His usual practice run would usually go on for ten or more laps, but then again, Hector's idea of heats were borderline crazy.
"Key word being 'attempted'." Hector finished his burrito and crunched up the wrapping, taking one last sip from his orange juice carton before dumping it all in another trash bin. One that didn't smell like the parking lot of a high school prom. He cracked his knuckles and a smirk played on his lips. "Alright, you've warmed up enough. Let's go." Hector walked over to one of the dummy practice bikes and got on, starting the bike and up-linking Jefferson to the other AI bikes.
"Wait a second! What're we doing now?" Stewart shook his grogginess away when he saw Hector start up a bike as if he was going to race.
"I'm racing you guys. I can only stand back for so long and cringe at all your faults." Hector said simply with his back still to Stewart and Teddy. Then he waved once and the dummy races were off on their head-start. Each one changed it's armor to three different colors. Blue, green, and orange. "Get on your bikes and let's go."
Teddy and Stewart shared a look.
"You know how to ride a 420?" Teddy was a little skeptical. Sure, the last couple of encounters, he knew that Hector was a kick-ass ninja but anything else was just… mysterious.
"No, I just build them with no knowledge of how they work." Hector slicked his hair back and put on his helmet. When Hector looked back, he sighed. "I was being sarcastic. Now hurry up and mount your bikes. I'm losing my patience."
Teddy shrugged at Stewart and started strapping his own helmet on. "Freaking Batman or something?" He muttered and tensed up when the rumble from his bike upset his stomach.
"Whatever." Stewart threw his hands up and walked back to his bike.
"Are you guys up-linked?" Hector rolled his shoulders.
"Good over here." Teddy affirmed.
"Ready." Stewart started up his bike and whispered his password to his helmet. An array of options came down and Stewart chose the correct sequences. Then he pointed his line of sight to Hector and confirmed the option to uplink to Hector's helmet. His helmet already mesmerized Teddy as a partner. "S-so is it every man for himself or something?" Stewart wasn't scared, that much, he just wanted to know if he would have to race up against a fusion between Batman and Ryu from Ninja Gaiden with his own army of cyber-racers. Just curious.
"I'm only going to be on your side just this once. The dummies will be our opponent." Hector turned himself back to face forward. Then he launched into the track.
"Oh shit! Awesome!"
Stewart heard Teddy through the headphones. "I know right. I was about to say 'screw this'!" Stewart chuckled. "Who knew Hector knew how to race?! I thought he was just a smart-ass Virgin Gary!"
Teddy laughed. "I know right!"
"You know I can hear your conversation, right?" Hector's voice sounded in the two's helmets.
Teddy visibly winced. Shit…
"Sorry! Can't hear you over the sound of my bike's engine!" Stewart faked and let go his brake to roar past Teddy onto the track.
"Hold up!" Teddy went after him.
By the time Stewart and Teddy had came onto the track, the dummies had already finished their first lap and were coming in fast behind the two. The leader of the dummies was burning rubber and finally came close enough to Teddy to go on the offensive. The leader, the blue dummy, took out a simple bat and started swinging at Teddy.
Fortunately, Teddy had heard them coming and was already on the defense as he veered to the right. He had a rocket ready for him. "Fire left rocket NOW!" Teddy yelled into his helmet when he got into position in front of the blue robot. The helmet obeyed and a bulky rocket shot off in the direction of the leader. Teddy smirked as he saw the rocket close the distance in half a second.
Right before the rocket hit Blue Leader, the orange racer came out of nowhere and back-handed the rocket to the outer walls of the track. Back-handed. A rocket.
BOOM!
Teddy almost pissed himself as he forgot all about formation and zoomed ahead past Stewart.
"Teddy, what the hell?!" Stewart was sent to the side as Teddy almost side-swiped him. Stewart looked backwards and saw the Orange Fighter and Blue Leader coming. "You want some of this?!" Stewart yelled. Then he pulled off his hose. "You can't handle this much awesomeness! FIRE!" Stewart boasted as a stream of fire came out of the hose's nose. The Orange Fighter went on the defense as the Blue Leader retreated backwards. "That's what I thought-"
The Green Scout drifted around the fire and sped right towards Stewart. The Green Scout pulled out a sword and swung. The nose of the flame-thrower was slashed and oil started gushing out of the hose. Stewart's eyes went wide as he told his helmet to turn off his primary weapon. The Green Scout didn't skip a beat as his right hand threw a punch and connected to Stewart's helmet.
Stewart didn't feel the full power of the punch thanks to his helmet but he did lose some focus.
CRACK!
Stewart heard the sound and tried to concentrate. Once he had all his senses again, he saw that it was Hector that kicked the Green Scout on the head. What the… Stewart regained his focus and witnessed Hector with his hands on his bike's seat and upside down delivering a spinning bird kick. Stewart accepted it by now. Hector was a freaking ninja. Simply put. He was doing all this in street clothes while Stewart and Teddy were decked out in their battle suits!
"Leave the bragging in the lobby. These races are live or die depending on you." Hector yelled into Stewart and Teddy's ears. "You're both more pathetic than I thought! Prove to me that you're not just here to irk the girls of your team! Show me you know how to race!" Hector sat back down and started trading blows with Blue Leader.
Stewart felt bad. He didn't even know why. Maybe he felt bad because he disappointed Hector? Stewart shook his head. Barely known the guy for five minutes! "You ready to make some noise, Teddy?!" Stewart cleared his throat and went back to his casual cool demeanor. After the whole group took a turn, it was now a stretch of track in front of them. Just enough dirt to make some noise. Stewart got his hammer and pointed his two fingers to Orange Fighter. He faced forward and slowed down to even the score, but something stopped him. Teddy, you crazy son of a bitch!
"Way ahead of ya!" Teddy was standing on his bike with his spinning barrel machine gun. The barrel was spinning and Teddy let loose. Teddy doesn't disappoint.
Xx-xXx-xX
Hector's Personal Elevator - Late Afternoon
The battle race was over and the three locked up the bikes in the garage for the afternoon. They were now going up Hector's personal elevator to the Kitchen floor for a late lunch.
"That. Was. Epic!" Stewart slapped Teddy's hand and raised his other one to Hector.
Hector poked it. "You guys were okay." He shook his head to fix his helmet hair back to his usual messy mop.
"Psh, that was awesome and you know it!" Teddy tried to call Hector out on a bluff.
"All you needed was an ass-kicking." Hector snorted. The elevator doors opened and he walked out. When he didn't hear footsteps behind him, he turned around and prepared for a brawl.
"Dude." Stewart deadpanned at him. "I don't care what the girls say, you're okay with me!" He came out of the elevator and held his fist out to Hector.
"Just dap it to show you're cool." Teddy came out and nodded at Hector with a grin.
Hector eyed the two suspiciously, wondering what they were up to. But after checking their body language, he came up with nothing besides expectation. Hector sighed and connected his fist with Stewart's. "Like it already isn't obvious that I'm a bad-ass."
Teddy and Stewart laughed.
"Leave the bragging in the lobby." Teddy lowered his voice as he imitated Hector from earlier.
"Whatever." Hector continued walking towards the kitchen.
"What do you have to eat in this tower?" Stewart got into the kitchen following Hector and Teddy.
"The cooks aren't here because Solomon took them to a conference, so it's just sandwiches." Hector nodded his head to Teddy towards the bread container on the counter.
"I was about to say. I thought you rich people only had bread made out of gold." Teddy grabbed the Wonder Bread.
"And I thought rich kids were smart-ass punk- Oh, wait…" Stewart stared at Hector. He got a bag of turkey to the face in response.
"You peasants are so hilarious." Hector continued digging in the meat drawers for the rest of the sandwich ingredients. He gathered them and brought them to the island counter where Stewart and Teddy were surrounding.
"I know right?" Teddy ripped open the bread package even though it had a twisty and was about to grab some slices.
"Stop." Hector reached into his pocket and got his hand sanitizer out. He threw it at Teddy. "Use it and then get the bread." Hector laid his hands on the island and waited.
"We already washed our hands when we got out of the showers." Stewart snorted and grabbed the mayo. Only to have his hand swatted by Hector's. "Damn it! Did you even wash your hands?!" Stewart set his jaw.
"I trust my hands more than I trust yours." Hector sniffed once and stared right back at Stewart, still waiting. "I don't want to take the chance and catch STD from you two."
"STD! What the hell are you talking about? We don't even have-" Stewart stopped himself before giving Hector anymore ammo. "We use protection, dumb-ass!"
Hector raised an eyebrow. "TMI. I didn't need to know about your sex-life. Besides, you Virgin Gary's probably have all the ladies on your computer. Hence, I want you to use that. Sanitize. Now. I'm getting hungry."
Teddy rolled his eyes and applied the rubbing alcohol. Then he passed it to Stewart.
Stewart grabbed the small clear bottle and clenched his fist around it, dispensing almost all of it's contents onto his hand before he gave it back to Hector. Then he started rubbing it in.
Hector looked at the empty bottle and then stared at Stewart. "Really?" Hector flicked the bottle into the trash and dug into his other pocket to get another new bottle. "Always got a spare." Hector smirked at Stewart's ticked-off expression.
"I'm convinced you're a ninja/Batman/secret agent for the Canada Mounties…" Teddy shook his head and sorted out slices to the others.
"What?" Hector spread the mustard and traded it with Stewart to get the provolone.
"You're joking right?" Stewart didn't stay mad long when he was around friends. "You've never heard of Canada?"
Hector was losing brain cells just by being around the two. "Yes, what the hell is a Canada?"
"They've been good for too long… Wow! Score!" Teddy grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels.
"Put it back." Hector peered up from his unfinished sandwich once to check out what got Teddy excited.
"Or what? You're gonna get in trouble with your Dad?" Stewart snorted and grabbed the bottle from Teddy to check it out.
Hector actually about what his father might do if he exposed alcohol to minors. He shrugged his shoulders. So what? Hector snatched the bottle from Stewart and cracked it open with the counter's edge. Then he threw it back and drank. He knew what happens when he drinks. Nothing. He must have a high tolerance for it. Hector brought the bottle back down and blinked a few times. "Alright, let's see what you lightweights can do!" Hector tossed the bottle to Stewart. Then he passed out.
Xx-xXx-xX
Parlor Room floor - Evening
"So you just… Shit! Just tell this guy what to do… And he does it… Hiccup! Hector?!" Stewart was wasted. Stewart and Teddy took turns drinking the bottle as they carried Hector to the Parlor Room floor. Teddy remembered seeing the option on the elevator buttons awhile back. They were now all on the couch, asking questions.
"Psh! You know it!" Hector was lying upside down on the couch. His head on the carpet floor.
"Righteous…" Teddy was sprawled over the La-Z Boy big chair in the room.
"So you can get whatever you want?!" Stewart yelled for no reason.
"HELL YEAH! I'M THE BLOODY NIGHT FURY!" Hector screamed even louder than Stewart.
Stewart laughed until his sides suddenly hurt. "You're so wasted!" Then he grabbed Hector's wrist and spoke into it like he's seen him do multiple times. "Yo! Let's get some beyotchs up in hur!"
"Pardon?!" Jefferson's systems turned on to some random person's slurring.
Hector brought his hand to his mouth. "You heard 'im! Let's get some house bunny maids and sailors!" Hector said with a straight forward answer. One thing he adopted when he was truly drunk.
"Mr. Haddock? Do you need medical attention-" Jefferson heard his master's voice and panicked.
"Sound those bloody alarms and I'll input you into a condom dispenser on the corner of 3rd Street!"
"My word!" Jefferson got to work immediately.
Xx-xXx-xX
30 minutes later…
"….Boyfriend!" Hector, Stewart, and Teddy sang to Justin Bieber's song along with a few of Hector's requests.
"This is why Canada is such an awesome place, man!" Teddy wiped some tears away in his eyes.
"Amen!" Hector threw up deuces and fell backwards in the couch. A sailor hopped onto his lap. Hector noticed that she had blonde hair. Hector started thinking. Something's missing… Hector thought and then he held up his wrist. "DJ! Play track 'Night Fury'!"
Pursuit of Happiness - Kid Cudi (Steve Aoki Remix) came on the whole Tower's speakers.
"AW YEAH!" Hector, Teddy, and Stewart yelled from their positions on the couch.
Outside the house, a black Bentley Continental rolled into the driveway. Solomon and Gordon got out and witnessed the sight of the Tower. It was like the "Party X" movie.
Solomon sighed and shook his head. "Get back in the car. We're staying at a hotel…"
Oo-oOo-oO
(A/N
RAGE: "You do know that we have female readers, right?"
Equinox: "USA! USA! USA! US-Bleh…" *Drunkenly falls out of chair*
RAGE looked down at Equinox's drunken form and sighed. Then he cracked open a Jack Daniels and downed it. "This is probably the only way we're going to get through the future angry mob…"
