A/N- I've basically finished this story so I should be posting more often. It's just a matter of me going through and editing the chapters to be ready to post. Hope you enjoy and if you do please review!
Nick sat in his car, rubbing his hands over his face. He knew he reacted poorly but he honestly never thought that Greg would have fallen in love with someone else. Now he wondered who that someone else was and how they let Greg become this addict that he was now. He wondered if Greg would ever even tell him.
He did need to stop into work so he decided to act on his lie and go there. He walked into LVPD and to his office that he shared with Jack. Jack looked up when his partner entered unexpectedly. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were at the hospital with Greg?"
Nick sat down at his desk and placed his head down on it. "Jack, I don't know what I am doing anymore. Do you think I am crazy for trying to help Greg?" He asked after picking up his head again.
"What happened Nick?" Jack asked him more gingerly now.
"He told me he was in love with someone else," Nick groaned and scratched at his beard.
"Who is this person? Did he tell you what happened?" Jack asked him.
Nick shook his head. "No I took off making some lame excuse which I am sure he knew was a lie. I took off after he said that without getting any answers to anything." Nick looked up at him again. "Do you think I am making a mistake trying to help him?"
Jack shook his head woefully at his partner. "Who am I to say you shouldn't help someone who you still clearly care about? I would too for a loved one. But you need to talk to him. You know hardly anything except that he is in love with someone else and his parents died. Something somewhere during his time in California must have turned him to the drugs."
"What if it is the person he loves? What if they turned him to drugs?" Nick said to him.
"You'll never find out if you don't talk to him. Talk to him before he is out of the hospital because even if he goes to rehab after getting out of the hospital, you need to find out who is after him if you want to keep him alive," Jack reminded him.
Nick rubbed his hands over his face again. "You know I told him someone was trying to kill him and he said that he wished they had been successful basically."
Jack sighed. "Look, you have to remember he is an addict…it's typical for them to have those types of feelings."
"Yeah and maybe he did really purposely overdose. He claims to not remember right now but now I am not so sure. Maybe he is sparing me the truth."
"Nick, just go home and get some sleep. You look like hell. Regenerate and go then go back to Greg and talk to him. I mean really talk to him, even if it is to set your own mind at ease," Jack told him.
Nick looked at his blonde haired, blue eyed partner and smiled a little. "I just know I got lucky when I was teamed with such an understanding partner." Jack smiled at the compliment. "Back at you, bud. Now go!" He said, pointing to the door. Nick got up and shot him the finger as a joke and left.
Greg flipped off an officer after he left the room. He now had his left wrist handcuffed to the bedrail so he could not leave the hospital like he did last time. He knew it was Nick who had it ordered. The coward, he thought since he couldn't do it himself. He was in a foul mood since his doctor had a drug counselor come into his room and talk to him about rehab and ways to kick his addiction. Another thing he figured Nick had set up. The counselor with his doctor told him they would start him on the Methadone treatments to help curb his need for heroin. He wanted to deny that he didn't feel the need but he did, horribly and that is why his being locked to the bed annoyed him even more so.
He was staring daggers at the ceiling when he heard someone come in. He looked and saw it was Nick. Nick was clean shaven suddenly. Greg thought how much better he looked clean shaven. He always hated when Nick grew scruff. He thought he looked younger clean shaven. For a brief moment he remembered the good days when he was with Nick with no real worries, just happy and in love. He had to look away from him as the thought hurt. To remove the thought he spoke in spite. "So the coward returns."
Nick was taken aback by Greg calling him a coward. Yeah he ran away when he found out that Greg was in love with someone else but if anyone was one it was him. "Takes one to know one," he said, immaturely.
Greg turned and glared at him. "Well you have me locked up here so I can't go anywhere. A drug counselor was already here talking about rehab and methadone treatments to help my addiction, but I am sure you have more to say."
Nick now knew why he was especially rude today. "Look we need to seriously talk and yes, if handcuffing you to this bed is the only way to keep you safe and drug free for now, I will make sure it is done. Would you rather be in jail?" He saw Greg's eyes darken and stare at him. So he knew the answer.
Nick sighed and came over and sat down. Greg just watched him. "Do you remember anything about overdosing yourself, like who gave you the heroin?"
Greg's expression changed. He looked away more thoughtfully. Nick said he overdosed. Did he really inject too much into himself? He tried thinking. He remembered needing a hit desperately. Then he remembered. Will Larson and Nelson came by with his needed hit. Nelson prepared the needle for him. Nick said something about it being China White. He knew from his time working in the lab that China White heroin could kill you if even the slightest larger amount was given to you. He knew they said it was some pretty pure stuff but Nelson said he prepared it as diluted.
"You said someone came while I was in the coma and tried to inject me with a lethal dose too?" Greg asked Nick for clarification. Nick nodded and said yes.
Greg looked off straight ahead, his right hand unconsciously scratching at his chest. Did they really try to kill him? He thought Will liked him. He closed his eyes and shook his head, knowing he was a stupid fool. They were just using him to sell their product but once they found out he sold out Gus they figured he might sell them out too. Well, looks like they were right. He opened his eyes and looked back at Nick. Nick was watching him so carefully. Should he tell Nick all of it that he was going to sell the drugs? What would Nick think of him? Even worse probably, he figured. No, he could leave that out. He didn't need to know that now at least.
"His name is Will Larson and his bodyguard Nelson. Nelson is the one who beat me and gave me the syringe already prefilled with the heroin. He told me it was a diluted version of the China White, not lethal. I needed the hit so bad I just used it," Greg shrugged now.
Nick seemed to recognize the name. "William Larson of Techno Garage? That huge internet company?" Greg just nodded in response. "How did he find you?"
Greg's eyes turned down again. "He paid for my services," was all he said. Nick suddenly understood it. "Rocco is a pimp basically, isn't he?" Greg couldn't meet his eyes, he just nodded a little.
Nick ran his hands over his face again. The ugly truth of Greg's recent life choices came forth again. "Okay, so let me get this straight, you were what exactly when you first met Larson?"
Greg groaned a little. "Do you really want me to say what I was going to do for him or what I did to him and him to me?" Nick looked at Greg now, who was looking at him in kind of a pleading way saying he didn't want to spell it out to him. Nick shook his head then. "No, you don't have to. But you said he gave you the drugs, so how did that happen?"
Greg was feeling tired already. "He knew I was an addict and he knew that if I had a hit I might be more willing to, you know." He really didn't want to get into details with Nick. He already could see the disgusted look in his eyes.
Nick got up and walked toward the window and looked out it. He couldn't look at Greg right now. Just the thought of him selling himself for sex was unbelievable. "What did they last tell you?" Nick asked him, just trying to focus on how to bust this big time dealer.
Greg was feeling anxious about talking about Will Larson. He was afraid he might let it slip that he sold some of the drugs and was going to sell more or so he would have if he had not turned Gus in. He knew that his life had taken another turn after he turned on Gus. Larson was a powerful man and he would not appreciate being crossed. He had to be careful what he said. "He was going to meet up with me again to give me more but I realize that was probably a lie now, just to satisfy me. They figured I would be dead by now." He suddenly realized he had no idea how he was alive; basically who had found him.
"Who found me anyway? One of the maids at the hotel?" He asked Nick.
Nick still kept his back to him. "I had the motel on surveillance, specifically you. The officer saw the two men come and go. I stopped by to talk to you about them and found you on the bed, unresponsive with the syringe on the bed next to you."
Greg didn't know what to say in response. Nick saved his life but he wasn't sure he was happy about that. Since his parents death he hadn't cared much about living anymore, so the drug usage to him was one way to get through life with at least some feeling of happiness even if it was drug induced.
Nick noticed Greg had not said anything. He turned around. Greg was not looking at him. He had a faraway look on his face. He wondered what he was thinking. He thought about this person Greg has said he loved. Where was he now? Was he on drugs too out there somewhere? Was Greg thinking about him? Nick needed more answers. "You said you were in love with someone else. Who is he and where is he now?" He noticed the expression change in Greg's face. It became pained. His whole body language changed. His uncuffed hand went up to his chest and started rubbing it as if in pain.
"He's dead," Greg said as his eyes seemed to fill with tears. "Death follows me…you should stay away from me." The mere mention of his dead lover made all the painful memories rush back to him and the pain became great again. That pain had been fixable by the heroin. Now it threatened to overwhelm him to the point that his chest hurt from the emotional anguish.
Nick could feel it coming off Greg in waves. Nick moved closer to Greg. "Talk to me Greg." Nick just wanted to help him. He wanted to understand why drugs seemed to be the answer for him. What pain did the drugs wash away? "How did he die? Did he overdose?"
Greg shook his head even as he wiped at his nose and eyes from running. "No, he wasn't on drugs…not illegal kind anyway. He died from AIDS." Nick's eyes widened. Did that mean Greg was also infected?
Greg turned to look at Nick and knew what he was thinking by the expression on his face. "I don't have AIDS or HIV even, something that I still don't understand."
Nick looked into his eyes and saw the pure agony in them from his grief. He pulled up the chair and sat down. "When did he die? Recently?"
Greg sighed heavily. He closed his eyes and took a couple steadying breaths. He was going to have to tell Nick or he would not let up, he knew that. "He died a little over two and a half years ago," he started.
Nick realized that meant he only died a few months before Greg lost his parents. He was suddenly beginning to make sense of Greg's downfall. The emotional losses must have caused his spiral down.
"We met about a year after I had been living in California. I had found a job working as a Chemistry teacher at a community college. He was a student at the community college. I met him at a social. He was pursuing a second degree in Biology. He already had a degree in Chemistry. He was gorgeous; he had black hair and these incredible hazel eyes. He had spotted me staring at him and he came over to me and introduced himself to me. Before then I hardly looked at any guys. I kept to myself. I felt bad about cutting you off, but it was something I felt was best for me to move on. And when I met Matthew I felt that it was meant to be. We hit it off so fast, us both being science geeks." Nick actually saw a slight smile on Greg's face at the obvious memory he was having. He had not opened his eyes. He seemed to be recalling it as the images played in his mind.
"We flirted for a little while before I actually asked him out on a date. That was when he suddenly got more serious. He had looked worried, I remember. He pulled me to the side, alone and said he really liked me and because of that he wanted me to know before I did anything more. That was when he told me he was HIV positive. I was shocked because he looked well. He told me he had been HIV positive for the last 10 years and been on the drug regimen. Well needless to say, I knew we could still have protected sex and we just had to be careful, which we were. I fell hard and fast for him." He finally opened his eyes, wanting to see Nick's reaction. He could see Nick looked a bit hurt but he seemed interested in hearing what Greg had to say no matter how much he might be breaking his heart. He felt he owed something to Nick.
"You've always had a special place in my heart, but when I told you I had to move on, I did. I met Matthew and we fell in love. Life was great for at least two years. I was happy teaching and he had finished up his second degree and was going to go to medical school. But then I noticed he had not been feeling well. He had been losing weight and feeling sick. He was having trouble keeping food down. He started getting sores on his body and he was pushing me away. I had feared it all along but I was scared when I saw his deterioration. I asked him if he had seen his doctor and he said he was trying a new drug protocol because the old one was no longer working. About a month later as his health deteriorated more, he finally told me he had full blown AIDS." Greg turned his head away from Nick's strong gaze as he felt more tears come on.
"You just don't think it is going to happen, but then when he tells you it's like being hit with a sledgehammer right in the gut. I couldn't breathe. This wonderful man I had grown to love and who always made me smile was dying, slowly and painfully. I stayed with him when he was hospitalized, stopping my teaching job to be with him, even though he didn't want me to lose my job. I told him I didn't care. I was going to be there for him." He paused to try to compose himself as he felt the excruciating pain of his final days catching up to him again. "You never get over watching someone you love die like that. He just kept praying I didn't contract HIV so I would not have to suffer the way he did. But when he died, he took part of me with him so to me it wouldn't matter if I got HIV and AIDS because I already felt partially dead." He went to raise his hands to his face but forgot his left hand was cuffed to the bed and let out a frustrating sigh and only rubbed his right hand over his face. He let his hand drop to his chest again.
"My parents adored Matthew and were there for me after he died but like I said a part of me was gone. I didn't go back to work. I quit and lived at home after I sold all of Matthew's things and moved out of the place we shared together. My parents tried to get me to go out but I spent all day inside, sleeping and just dazing in front of the TV. They managed to get me out like once a month. I remember it was close to Halloween and my parents took me out to dinner and had a few drinks. I didn't. I said I would drive home. I should have been more aware. I never saw him coming. And then you know the final straw that broke the camel's back," he said as his hooded, red rimmed eyes looked at Nick again.
It was like the pain had disappeared and Greg was hallow inside again. That look that first spooked Nick when he saw him again but now he got it. He still didn't understand how someone with Greg's brilliant mind would turn to illegal drugs but he didn't know what that kind of torment felt like, to lose a lover and your parents in six months' time, both tragically.
