Disclaimer: I own nothing involving Degrassi, sadly.
"A little more to the left," dictated Tori.
Tristan followed the instructions, immediately shifting the blue balloon to the upper right hand corner of the locker. Once he finished, he took a step back with a satisfied smile on his face and admired his work. "This looks great," he exclaimed glancing at Tori who nodded alongside him in agreement.
"He is going to love it," offered Tori.
These words were the first Maya heard as she turned the corner, down the familiar path to Cam's locker. She had rushed to school early knowing that it was Cam's first day back, but she also felt the need to hurry due to her friends' urgent text message telling her to go straight to Cam's locker the first chance she arrived to school. Maya immediately knew the two were up to something, but she had to give them props for slightly surprising her. Cam's locker, on any normal day just a plain blue metal door, was now decked out with wrapping paper, tinsel, and balloons. It looked like Tori and Tristan ransacked a clown's house.
"Guys?" called Maya once she reached the pair. She followed their lead and stood right in front of the locker, observing the decorations. Raising her hand in the direction of the locker, she smiled while simultaneously shaking her head in disbelief at her friends. "What is this? His birthday is next month." Her smile disappeared when she was on the receiving end of two glares; quickly racking her brain for a gentler way to voice her thoughts, she cleared her throat and prepared to do damage control. "It's great guys, I'm just not sure if Cam wants all of this attention on him when he comes back."
Tori and Tristan frowned at the thought of making Cam uncomfortable on his first day back at Degrassi. Tristan spoke up, regret lacing his voice, "We thought it would be a good idea at the time, but we didn't think about how this could potentially be a really insensitive gesture." He shook his head when Maya's words became even more clear to him, "Sorry Maya." He made a move to remove the balloon but was stopped by Maya's hand on his shoulder. "Hey," she said gently, "Cam will love that you guys cared enough to cheer him up. Let's keep everything up and surprise him when he comes over here before classes start. He'll be happy to see us when he first sees it." She smiled at Tristan, which the tall boy returned, stepping closer to Maya and enveloped her into a hug. "I knew you couldn't resist our decorating skills," he joked sparking a genuine laugh from Maya.
"Of course, I couldn't." Maya smiled wider as Tori joined in the group hug, which was interrupted a short moment later by a strange voice behind them.
"Is it someone's birthday?" The boy sauntered over to the group and threw them an amused smirk. The three of them looked at him in confusion, honestly having no clue who he was. Maya decided to be the polite one, "Um, no. It's just a welcome back gift for my boyfriend on his first day back after a little break." She noted Tristan's awkward coughing and Tori anxiously biting her fingernails at the word "break." It was a monumental understatement for the real situation. She ignored the weird vibe he was giving her and nodded in his direction, which she hoped was a friendly gesture that signaled the end of the conversation. He didn't get the message.
Oh, right," he mused, throwing Maya a lazy grin and stepping closer, "You date that hockey dude. The one who freaked out a couple of weeks ago."
Maya's eyes narrowed, her hands forming into fists. She could punch him right this second and not think twice about it. She chose the more socially acceptable option. "Look," Maya seethed, "I don't appreciate you talking to me about how my boyfriend freaked out; I think I understand perfectly what happened to him. Now, if you're smart I would suggest you walking in the opposite direction and not coming back. Cool?" She flashed him a fake smile before rolling her eyes and walking over to Cam's locker. As she leaned against it, she grudgingly noticed that the boy didn't make one move, and on top of it all, was smirking even wider at her. Glancing at Tori and Tristan for help, she silently begged them to say something.
Tori understood Maya's desperate look and addressed the stranger,"Why are you still standing here?" She crossed her arms and glared, "Move along."
To the three teens' surprise and annoyance, he still didn't move. Maya felt unsettled and uncomfortable; she hoped that Cam did not come to his locker anytime soon.
Oooooooooooooooo
Meanwhile, Cam exited the principal's office with his mother and Principal Simpson, holding a small note in his hand. He took a couple of steps before turning around to face Mr. Simpson, giving him a nervous smile. "Thank you, sir. For being so understanding and…" Campbell choked on his words as an image of him in the greenhouse popped into his head. As he tried to block the image, a comforting hand fell on his shoulder.
"Don't even thank me, Cam." Mr. Simpson smiled warmly at Cam and his mother, "I'm just grateful to have one of my students back. We are going to do everything we can to make sure you are comfortable." His hand left Cam's shoulder, returning to his side, "Remember every free period you are to report to Ms. Sauve's office for counseling."
Despite feeling uncomfortable, Cam found himself nodding and smiling at Mr. Simpson. He knew the counseling idea would be the best thing for him. Maybe even help him survive the next three years. His eyes shut painfully at the harsh thought. He knew that he only barely survived three weeks ago if it wasn't for her. Thinking of Maya transformed his mood instantly, and he found himself excited to be at school and see her. He turned to face his mom and gave her a hug. "I guess, I'll get going then,"
Mrs. Saunders smiled at her son, hugging him back. "Well, it looks like you aren't embarrassed of your mom anymore." She backed away slightly, grabbing his shoulders gently and peered into his eyes. "You will remember to go to the counselor, right?"
Seeing the worried expression on his mother's face made him feel so guilty. Guilty knowing that he put it there. He reassured her softly, "I promise."
That's all she needed to hear. She smiled encouragingly as she fluffed his hair, biting back laughter as Cam turned red at the gesture. "Okay, I'll stop now. I'll be back at 3:30 to pick you up. Have a good day." She waved, turned towards the front doors, and stepped out.
Cam exhaled deeply, lifting his hand to say goodbye to Mr. Simpson before walking down the familiar path to his locker. When he finally turned the last corner of the hallway, a strange scene greeted him. Maya, Tori, and Tristan were arguing with a tall, curly headed guy that Cam felt like he strangely knew. It quickly dawned on him—he was the guy who sold drugs to his fellow teammates. Cam has seen him in the locker room a couple of times, even witnessing a trade between him and Trent. Remembering this guy only pushed Cam to move faster toward the group, his eyes set on Maya. Once he reached her, he slipped his arm around her waist without a warning and ignored her startled jump. He heard Maya's voice whisper his name, prompting him to squeeze her hip as an apology for scaring her, but he couldn't look away from the smirking person in front of him. "I know you from somewhere."
The statement made the smirking boy nod his head, "Yeah. Some of your teammates are my best customers. Glad to see you back man." His eyes landed on Maya," Later." Maya purposefully ignored his gaze as he walked away.
After pretending to gag while the unwelcome intruder left the group, Tristan faced everyone with wide eyes, "I totally know who that is now. It's Harry, the sketchy drug dealer of Degrassi. I remember hearing Owen mention something about him." Tristan's voice softened, embarrassed that he unofficially admitted that his brother had taken drugs in the past. "I guess the hockey team is notorious for using his services." He looked at Cam apologetically, "Except for you Cam. I know you don't get involved in any of that."
Cam smiled gratefully at his friend, "Don't worry about it Tristan. I know how most of the team acts." Clenching his jaw and bowing his head, Cam took a deep breath and tried to avoid thinking about the team. His personality clash with most of them has caused a lot of stress, but it's something that he didn't need right now. Lifting his head, he noticed three sets of very worried eyes watching him. "Why are you all looking at me like I have three heads?" He tried to pull off a convincing smile, but none of them bought it. "Guys, don't worry about that kid. The team would make excuses almost every weekend to have a party, and they usually went to him for something to help them have more fun." He rolled his eyes as he thought about some of his teammates, "It's the way most of them are. I think they are convinced of their status as gods, because they can skate on ice while hitting a puck around. If anything feel bad for them."
His comments made Tristan laugh, but Tori and Maya oddly remained quiet. Cam noticed and glanced in between the two girls, directing his next words to them, "It's not a surprise that the hockey team acts like that, right?"
Tori spoke up for both her and Maya. "It's not that we are shocked Cam. It's just awful that you have to deal with it. Being the star player on the team can't be easy when you aren't a fool like the rest of your team." She smiled when Cam laughed.
"I appreciate the concern," he pulled Maya closer to his side, "But Harry and the Ice Hounds' partying habits aren't something you should worry about." He turned his head, focusing on a very quiet Maya. "Okay?"
She snapped out of her trance, meeting Cam's gaze. "Okay," she gave in to his reassuring words. For now. But she didn't want to drop it. Faking a smile, Maya placed a hand on Cam's stomach, steering him in the direction of his locker. "Tori and Tristan's masterpiece," she teased. Her heart fluttered when Cam's eyes lit up at the sight of the decorated locker.
"You did this for me?" he asked looking back at a happy Tori and Tristan.
"Of course," Tristan clapped his hands together, "Today is something to celebrate. Our group is finally complete with you here."
Cam couldn't help the genuine grin that graced his face. Leaving Maya's side, he lifted his arms and placed them around Tristan and Tori's shoulders, bringing them together into a hug. Maya's mood improved a million percent witnessing the image.
The smile didn't leave Cam's face as he pulled away, and he made sure to keep eye contact with both Tori and Tristan as he spoke his next words. "I'm lucky to have you two as friends. At least, I have some shred of normalcy here." He looked at Maya, "When that wasn't the case before." He knew once meeting Maya's eyes that she understood what he meant. She was the first person to notice that he had never wanted to become the center of attention at school as the new hockey prodigy or belong to a tyrannical group of ego driven guys who were desperate for power, which sadly, is what the Ice Hounds have become. If it weren't for her, he would have never reached this moment—having genuine friends, who cared enough to decorate his locker, unconditionally support him through his issues, and not harass him for losing a game. It was the way it should be.
"Rookie!" the loud voice caused everyone to look in its direction, finding an excited Dallas jogging over to the group. He slapped Cam's shoulder, grinning widely at him. "Good to see you man."
Cam returned Dallas' wide smile. "Thanks, Dallas. It's good to see you too." He felt a huge amount of gratitude towards his captain, and most importantly his friend, for being one of his biggest allies on the team.
Dallas stopped to acknowledge everyone with a warm smile before speaking. "I gotta get going to the rink for a quick team meeting, but we should catch up at lunch."
"Yeah, most definitely," he frowned at the sudden curiosity he felt about this meeting. "What's the meeting about?"
Dallas shifted uncomfortably and sighed. "It's about rearranging positions. For the time you are away."
Cam grimaced at the thought of the coaches having to do extra work to rid him out of the plays. "Wait," he stared at Dallas, afraid to speak his fear out loud. "Who would be placed in my position for the new plays?"
Dallas' regretful look was the answer he needed. "No way," Cam exclaimed. "Easton?" Gripping his hair, Cam shut his eyes. The idea of Trent filling his position on the team filled him with rage—Trent has been the most difficult teammate to deal with for all of these months due to the jealousy and obvious hostility he directed at Cam constantly. Letting him take over his spot means allowing Trent to succeed in psyching Cam out of his deserved place on the team and basically accepting his ridicule and harassment. Cam was miserable enough; he didn't need that burden taunting him for the rest of his time at Degrassi. Maybe it was the overwhelming mix of emotions assaulting his mind or just the pent up frustration he felt from being the target of the team's resentment, but Cam opened his mouth regardless of the reason to release words he never thought he would say again. "I want back on the team. I'm not going to let him take my place."
Ignoring the shocked looks on everyone's faces, including Dallas, he continued to assert his decision, "Tell the coaches that I'll be at the next practice."
Watching this conversation unfold horrified Maya. Feelings of confusion and powerlessness debilitated her from speaking or making one move to protest as the reality of Cam's decision set in—the Ice Hounds, the source of his stress and fragile mind, was going to be back in his life after a mere couple of weeks since his suicide attempt. There is no way that this could help Cam, of that Maya was certain.
Maya wasn't the only one alarmed at Cam's announcement; in addition to a gaping mouthed Tori and Tristan, Dallas stood paralyzed while trying desperately to come up with the right words to say next. He couldn't find them. "We'll talk at lunch, okay?" He and Maya exchanged nervous looks before Dallas left the group in an awkward silence.
Tori tugged on Tristan's hand, beckoning him to follow Dallas' lead and give Maya and Cam space. Tristan willingly moved with her, knowing Maya would be the only one to talk some sense into him. "We'll see you guys later," he assured the two sullen teens.
"Bye," Maya faintly whispered when they walked away. Her eyes fell on Cam, who stood still with clenched fists and a detached look in his eyes. For the first time, she didn't know what to say to him, so she remained in her place, watching Cam carefully.
She almost jumped when Cam's eyes met hers, but she couldn't look away as he walked forward. Once he reached her, he hesitated on what to do next, finally deciding to lean against the lockers with both arms placed on either side of her. They stood there for a moment, unable to look away from each other, trying to find the right words to start a conversation. Cam broke the silence, "I made a promise to tell you at least one detail about how I'm feeling everyday, and this is it." His eyes never trailed away from her own, exposing his desperate need to explain himself to her. "I have come to terms with my shaky self confidence being a major part of why I feel miserable. I already felt unworthy of anything before I came to Degrassi on the hockey scholarship, so dealing with the some of my obnoxious teammates destroyed whatever little bit I had left. Trent was the worst one. If I let him take my position, then I'll be admitting that I am officially a lost cause. He'll win and rub it in my face. I can't live with myself if I let that happen."
Maya grabbed Cam's chin gently, begging him to listen to her. "You never have to feel like another person has power over how you feel about yourself. Trent doesn't matter—you don't have to force yourself to get back into hockey right away to prove anything to him. Give yourself time, so that you can play on your own terms and enjoy it. I know how much you love it, but it isn't healthy for you right now."
"I'm convinced this is the right thing to do, Maya."
She let go of his chin, leaning against the lockers defeated. "It looks like you made up your mind. I don't want to pressure you into making a decision that you don't want."
Unsettled, Cam bit his lip. "Don't be mad. Please."
His somber expression broke her heart. "I'm not mad," she reassured honestly. "Just worried."
His expression softened, momentarily dropping his gaze to her lips. "And you have no idea how much I appreciate that you care." He looked into her eyes, leaning in to brush his lips against her own. "I love you," he whispered before giving her a soft, lingering kiss.
The words brought a small smile to her face. "I love you too. A lot." She uttered the last two words under her breath, preventing Cam from hearing them, and sighed deeply. "Just let me know what Dallas says after you talk to him. If this is what you want then I want to be there for you. You're not going to be alone." She tugged the collar of his shirt, "You know that already."
He pulled her into his arms and settled his head on her shoulder, "I know."
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, afraid to let him go, because she knew that the conversation he would have with Dallas will bring him back onto the team and into his old nightmare.
A/N: Writers block and finals are the reason why this took so long. But, I hope everyone likes this one!
