(looks around) Uhhh… heheheh…. (is pelted with random objects)

I'm sorry! I'm sorry I abandoned you for a short period of… a few months. Forgive me. (bows) Here it is. Chapter nine. And no closer to you know what.


Internet Perditions, part 9


It had been a few good days since the GaiKaka experience, and a few stressful nights of interrupted sleep for Kakashi. Iruka felt it safe to let Kakashi out of the house finally, seeing as how the outbreaks of blushing and stuttering had finally subsided into harmless twitching.

"Kakashi…?" Iruka gripped his briefcase in one hand, searching the bedroom. "Kakashhhhiiit!" Iruka was bowled over the bed, a beaming Hatake above him dressed in a green bath towel that slowly slipped off thin hips.

"Morning Iruka-sensei!" A rough playful voice made him sound like a wanton dog, needing to chase a ball or two.

Iruka scoffed slightly and reached up to pinch his lover's cheek, "Look, you've regained some of the color you lost last Saturday." he teased, earning a nibble to his earlobe from the over-joyful man. "Oh wait, you don't have any color." The tan one continued to tease, receiving another love bite to the other ear.

"You're going to be sorry you were so unsupportive in my traumatic life experience." Kakashi warned, sitting up on Iruka's vest clad chest to stretch high into the air. "I could have been scarred for life, and you didn't even sleep with me to make it better."

Iruka didn't listen to the whining, and instead absorbed the pallid damp flesh with a spark of lust. Kakashi's back arched so gracefully, scars and hickies alike elongating or shortening, depending which scar Iruka was watching. The Monday morning sun rays nearly made Kakashi a pillar of light himself, brightening the room with his pale glory. For a moment in time, Iruka just indulged in his fantasies before Kakashi let go of the long stretch and pointed an accusing finger in Iruka's face.

"You were thinking dirty thoughts, weren't you?"

"Nope. I was thinking about your poor team, being left on the bridge for two hours while you try and seduce a perfectly respectable sensei."

"I don't see a respectable sensei anywhere in here, Iruka-sen- oof." Kakashi grinned as he was punched in the stomach, being tossed aside on the bed. "Love you, too, 'Ruka."

Iruka rolled his eyes and leaned down for a sweet kiss. Kakashi smirked and yanked out Iruka's hair tie in the midst of their sweet kiss. Iruka huffed in annoyance, face flushing. He swung again at the jounin, but his fist passed by easily. "I'm leaving now. Because I am a good teacher." He grunted, waving two fingers as he left the room, "You'll get yours when I get home." He threatened.

"I look forward to it sensei!" Kakashi goaded as he left, grinning when he was ignored and Iruka left the apartment. Not until a slight draft wafted through the room from the front door closing, did the jounin realize his towel was completely gone from his waist and he was sitting naked. "Slyyyy sensei."

o0O0o

Iruka motioned to the black board once his beloved students had settled into their seats attentively. "Alright everyone, like I said on Friday, we have a short quiz today that shouldn't be too hard if you at least thought about your homework over the weeke-"

"Sensei!"

"Yes, Konohamaru?" Iruka smiled kindly, ignoring the interruption for the time being.

"What's that?"

"What's what?" Iruka looked at the black board. "It's your quiz. I just said-"

"No, not that, on your seat!" He leaned forward in his desk as if he could more specifically point to the object.

Iruka finally spotted the article of attention and leaned forward to look at his desk chair. "It looks like a note… probably from-" he stopped mid sentence, eyes widening. He snatched the paper from his chair and crumpled it into a small orb. "It's nothing. Take out a piece of paper and copy down the questions. I'm leaving a doppelganger to watch you." He snapped, forming a quick jutsu to leave his clone in charge.

After the studious replica of himself seemed to gain conscious control of the class, the real shinobi teacher felt safe to leave.

With speed worthy of someone bathroom deprived, Iruka had dashed out the door and into the classroom over. "Yumi-san!" He declared at the petit teacher in the front of the neighboring classroom. She jumped slightly at the abrupt interruption.

The frantic sensei was too late, the young kunoichi was already bending over to retrieve the paper from her chair. Iruka lunged at her, snatching the sheet out of her grasp before she'd pulled it close enough to view. "Bad joke someone played on me. Sorry to bother you." He was gone, hurling himself into the next classroom, each time his heart beat escalating in panic.

As he thundered through the hall, he crumpled papers as fast as he could, finding slowly that he was too late to gather them all. Oh Kami-sama!

His heart pounding, Iruka's mind raced with all the colleages that he was sure he'd have to face soon. The looks, the rumors, the horrible teacher's grudges! His heart ached at the thought of losing his job even, if the parents of his students ever found out. His frenzied mind had already sent him to an impending doom.

Around the corner, Anko was wandering down the hallway at a casual pace, reading half heartedly from a sheet in her hand. Iruka could barely keep from screaming, "Anko! Erm-!"

She looked over her shoulder and stared at him curiously. "Hello, Iruka-sensei." She smiled brightly, "How are you today?"

He shook his head fervently, "Not- not so good, Anko. Listen, there's a really long story behind all this, but right now I can't explain because…" He trailed off, staring at the sheet she'd been studying.

She held the paper up, grinning, "I didn't know you were so kinky, Iruka sensei!"

Blood drained from his head, Iruka's jaw clenching. The picture was gut wrenching, and slightly gruesome. The drawn portrayal of a bondage scene was placed in a dungeon, the dungeon master looking suspiciously happy, much like the amused grin Anko had on her face at the moment. The tortured soul attached to the wall was between ecstasy and pain. Iruka was quite sure that he would never make that face, and that Anko sure as hell didn't have nipple rings with chains attached. Not that he was going to ask her. The Anko Slave Master had a whip raised above her head and one hand thrown back in preparation for a stinging blow to her man whore, Iruka-sensei himself.

Iruka gulped, eye twitching. "Erm."

Anko patted him on the shoulder. "It's okay. It's probably some F student that hates you, right? I cleared them all on this half of the building, if you got that half." She thumbed down the hall. "And I think I'll keep this one for personal amusement." She grinned lecherously. "Kid's a good artist at least."

Iruka stared in horror, "You can't keep that!"

She pouted at him, pointing at the wadded balls in his arm, "Are you keeping those?"

"No, I'm going to burn them!" Iruka tried to snatch at the paper she held above his head, but missed and only managed to drop a few of the other trash balls.

She giggled and danced about with the drawing, "For memories, come on!"

"What memories! That would never happen in a million years and you know it, so give it to me!"

"Beg for it, Iruka sensei!"

"No! Give it to me, Anko!"

"Say the magic word!"

"KAKASHI!"

"AAAANG. Wrong answer!" A swift kick to Iruka's shin had him dancing around in pain and frustration.

"Anko, give it to me! If Kakashi finds out you-"

"Ha! He'll never find it! I have access to the Hokage's vaults! No one can find anything in there." she giggled maliciously.

"Give! It! To! Me!" Iruka made another futile jump for the page.

o0O0o

In the staff room, not two feet from the argument, sat three wide eyed teachers, all petrified in their seats.

Genma swiveled his senbon to one side of his mouth, still staring at the drawing he'd found taped to his chair in the teachers lounge. "Um, is it just me, or is this picture talking?

"I think they're outside the door, Genma-sama." A lower ranking teacher murmured.

Genma's eyes were still glued to bondage scene. "No, I'm pretty sure that this picture is talking.

Anko's laughter filled the air in morbid triumph, "What are you going to do for it, Iruka?"

"I'm going to kill- OW! Stop it with the steel toes!"

"What's the safety word, Iruka!"

"ANKO, GIVE IT TO ME!"

o0O0o

Kakashi looked up from his studious observation of Icha Icha Illustrated, hearing thunder approach. It's name was Umino. The door slammed open, Iruka storming in like a tornado ready to destroy. Fire bright eyes rested on the unsuspecting Sharingan user. "Kakashi." He stated, passion and anger in his voice melded to sound deep and foreboding. Said man looked around in hesitance, trying to replay the day and any possible endeavors he may have taken to earn a punishment.

"Yes?" He offered hopefully.

"This is the last straw."

"Can I at least explain myself?" Icha Icha was tucked away to decrease any anger being generated.

"What?" Iruka blinked.

"What?" Kakashi hoped.

Iruka rolled his eyes and held up a bag of incinerating ashes. "This artist must be destroyed. At all cost."

A mixture of relief and curiosity overcame Kakashi's heart. Now that there was no danger of losing his head, either of them, there was some safety in approaching his peeved young lover. The Fearless Hatake heaved a sigh and stood up to remove the burning particles from Iruka's hand. He tossed them in the sink and patted the teacher on the shoulder. "Are you ready to abandon your pathetic little plan with Naruto and take my mission with Sasuke?"

Iruka smirked lightly, "How about we meet in the middle?"

Kakashi considered for a moment, then half nodded, "I suppose we can come to some sort of agreement. Shall we call a meeting?"

"Do it." Iruka stared at the remnants of copied drawings in their sink. "This artist will regret ever picking up a pencil."


Aawwee… fluff and crack… What a combination. And so much fun. Was it an okay chapter?