CHAPTER 9 Believe

Jack just couldn't wrap his head around it. It just wasn't possible. He heard how the children lost their faith, how Bunny gasped as he got walked through. He heard about the Nightmares, how they had destroyed everything they'd worked so hard on. He just… Couldn't believe it. He really had ruined it, again. He ruined everything he started on. Maybe if he'd just continued looking for Jokul on his own, maybe if he'd moved a little faster when taking Sophie back, maybe…

But Jack knew why it was that the Easter was ruined. He had run after his teeth, so desperate to get his memories back, so desperate for reassurance that he mattered. So selfish. He hadn't stopped to think for a moment, how his actions would affect others. And this happened because of him. It only made Bunny's words cut him deeper, because he knew they were true. He'd been selfish, too focused on his quest to think of anything else. It hurt to have it thrown against his face. It hurt to have Bunny walking away from him as if seeing him upset him. He was too stunned to try and defend himself as North and Tooth noticed the teeth container. Anger flared up at him because of the quick accusations, but it died as soon as it was born. He should've known this would happen. He messed up everything and there was no one who would pick up the pieces. He was at loss of words, so he simply let the wind take him up again. Maybe that was the only thing he was good at. Running away.

-O-

He really tried throwing it away. He did. His memories had caused nothing but grief and regrets. Maybe it was better he didn't remember. After all, even if he found something meaningful in his memories, that was all they were, memories. Not even really his either. Maybe it was better if he'd just let Jokul Frosti in control of winter, because really, how could it be any worse that what he had made it be? He sighed as he found himself unable to let go of the teeth container. He listened to the waves crushing against the ice blocks. Listened how the ice creaked under its own weight. And he wished he could just dissolve like his frost creations, become part of the element he was the incarnation of.

"I thought this might happen. They never did really believe in you", Pitch called and Jack spun around, surprised. But slowly, a burning anger filled him, flowing through his veins.

"They don't understand like I do, I've seen what you've gone through", Pitch continued. The anger kept growing in Jack's chest.

"Oh yeah, you've seen it alright, but are you any better? Do you understand? Would you have left me there if you did? Would you have tried so hard to keep me separated from this? I thought you knew better than try to manipulate me, Pitch. I've spent three hundred years with you. I know you", Jack reminded him coldly.

"Then you should remember Jack. How we used to be. Neither of us has to be alone. We could be a family, we could get children believe in us", Pitch said, his voice hopeful. Jack could clearly hear what he had known for so long. Pitch had just been left alone for little too long, his darkness had twisted him.

"No, you want them to fear us. And that isn't what I want", Jack said and it pulled painfully in his heart. Maybe he was being selfish again. Maybe, if he could just make someone happy. Maybe… But he couldn't. For some reason, he remembered Jamie. Even if the boy had never seen him, he was the one to pop into Jack's mind. More than anything, Jack wanted him and his friend to keep laughing, not wake up from nightmares to see that the real world wasn't much better. He wanted to make them laugh, to make them happy. And Jack knew that for them to really be happy, to appreciate all the fun and wonder and dreams, they would have to know fear too. Jack just hoped Pitch would see it too. That Pitch would understand that the world didn't have to be so dark for people to need him. The anger died down in his chest, leaving him disturbingly empty. He turned away from Pitch.

"Just… Leave me alone", he said hollowly. He couldn't see hurt flashing in golden eyes. He couldn't see how the golden eyes narrowed in anger.

"Fine, you want to be alone, then be alone", Pitch stated, but before Jack could question him, he could hear frantic twittering that he recognized as Baby Tooth's. He didn't even have the time to call out for her as he spun around, before Pitch announced the conditions.

"The staff Jack. It seems you can't focus on your own business, so I'll deny you that benefit. I'll return it once this is finished, so you can take off after Jokul again, since it seems time really isn't the matter here", Pitch said and Jack wanted to scream at him that it wouldn't matter then anymore, if he couldn't find Jokul anymore. If he couldn't learn about him. He didn't though, in fear of endangering the little fairy. Hesitantly, he handed the staff over at Pitch. He couldn't cause any more damage for the Guardians, nor could he endanger someone like Baby Tooth, who had been nothing but loyal and friendly to him. And maybe it was better this way. If he no longer had the chance to ruin everything. And for a moment, as the stuff left his fingers, he felt relieved. He didn't have to be the one to make the decision anymore.

The frost left the staff as soon as it changed hands.

"Now let her go", Jack demanded then. There was a silence and dread filled Jack's heart. Pitch was hesitating. He couldn't see if Pitch would actually hurt the fairy, he couldn't make up if Pitch intended to let her go. It went unnoticed to Jack how Pitch fought with himself. Wanting to make a point at Jack, wanting to repay for Jack's denial to join him. But Jack looked so lost and vulnerable standing there, blind and without his staff. As much as Pitch would've liked not to, he did remember all those years with Jack. He remembered how he'd come to regard Jack somewhat as a son, even if he'd never admit it. And he still felt it, that pull on his heart. And it was what made him let go of the little fairy struggling in his grasp. The confusion that showed in the fairy's unstable fluttering made him want to growl and snatch her back.

He didn't have the chance though, as the fairy quickly sped over to Jack once she realized she really was free. The relief he saw on the young spirit's face almost made him feel guilty for hesitating. Almost. Instead, it made him angry. Angry at himself for letting someone affect him like that. Angry for being unable to disregard those emotions. He took out his anger on the only thing close to him. The staff. Yes, there were the facts that he would have to take it with him or break it to make sure Jack wouldn't get his hands on it again, but it was the anger that made him break it, even if he knew that it might be unfixable and that Jack would need it back. The anger made him disregard the fact that he could've just taken it with him and showed it to the Guardians as a fake trophy to lower their spirits. He simply just braced it against his knee and pushed.

He really hadn't expected Jack to scream in pain as he broke it. It seemed that his guess of it being just random twig to make it easier to relay his powers was wrong. Rather, it seemed to be an extension of those powers. And he'd just cut it in two. The next action was in fact, even if it seemed whimsical, very carefully concluded. Without his staff, Jack would be wide open for any attempts that Jokul Frosti might do, so clearly, Jack needed some kind of cover. And, well, there was the fact that Pitch couldn't have him just wondering around so he'd have to spend hours to find him. So Pitch created a swirl of black sand and pushed Jack backwards to a crack behind him. That the crack was a little deeper than it had seemed didn't really matter as Jack seemed to still be in one peace as he collided with the bottom. A stab of guilt for breaking the staff made him drop the parts of the staff after him and the little fairy who followed him down.

There was only a slight hesitation in Pitch's steps as he retreated from the crack on the ice. For a brief moment, he wondered if he should go back, or at least take the boy with him. To bring him to his lair and lock him away. He would be safe there, Pitch was sure. Soon, he would be powerful enough to keep away the Old winter spirit. After he'd gotten rid of those Guardians. All too familiar anger sparked again, when he thought of them. It would be over soon. No more humiliation, no more pawns for the Moon to use as he pleased. It would be as it had been, fear ruling over the people. No more Guardians trying to take away what was his. At that thought, his steps faltered and he almost fell as the face of the young winter spirit with his bright sparkling blue eyes flashed in his mind. Pitch growled, angry with himself. This wasn't about the young spirit, this wasn't a pitiful fight caused by something as trivial as jealousy or possessiveness. Jack Frost had nothing to do with this. This was between him and the Guardians, or rather, him and the Moon.

Still… He couldn't deny the anger that had flared up when they had first shown up at the entrance to his lair. When they had tried to recruit the young spirit he'd been stuck with for three hundred years. When they had shown up to take away the one keeping him in that hole, and not just because he was supposed to be his Guard. As if the Moon had decided that in the end, he did want the lonely, blind, broken boy he'd created and then left in the dark to fend for himself. But no, Pitch wouldn't let his feeling concerning the white haired youth interfere with this. He started walking again, finally reaching the shadows under one frozen cliff and slipping in. Comforting darkness surrounded him as he willed them to take him back, away from this freezing coldness.

-O-

Jack just sat there, stunned, for couple of minutes. When his head cleared a bit, he hoped it hadn't. Pitch had never, ever, before really tried to hurt him. It was the line they never crossed. But now… Pitch broke his staff and while Jack would've been able to pass that off as Pitch didn't actually know what the staff was for him, Pitch also pushed him down to a crack in the ice. Even if it didn't cause real damage, it still hurt. A lot. Though, while the pain from the fall had faded, the hollow aching caused by the breaking of the staff still ghosted in his body. It was if his connection to his powers had been cut. He felt as if there was a huge gap inside him, as if something had been removed from inside him. He then heard the twittering of Baby Tooth and stretched out his hand to let the fairy land on it.

"Hey there… You alright?" he asked and a soft tweet answered. He assumed it meant yes. Jack sighed and lifted his other hand to cover the fairy, but when it caused Baby Tooth to sneeze he let it drop and muttered an apology. It seemed like it really was done for him now. There was nothing he could do except to wait for Pitch to come back. If he would come back. If Jack hadn't already, now at least he'd really let the Guardians down, not to mention Loki and the Grim Reaper. But deep inside, the relief was still there. If there was nothing he could do, he didn't have to do anything either. And he was tired of getting his emotions thrown around like they had been for the last few days. Or weeks. Or years. He was just sick of it.

Now he'd messed things up for the final time, and he hoped it would give the other spirits some kind of peace of mind to know he was gone from picture. He wondered briefly what they would think of him. Did they think he was weak for giving up? That he was just a coward? Not that they'd be wrong. As he laid down to the icy surface, he realized that he didn't really care. There was one person who he hoped would be sad, but he knew that Pitch probably wouldn't care either way.

-O-

His head had barely hit the ice when he already sat up hurriedly, as Baby Tooth shot out from his hoodie's pocket.

"Woah, easy there. What is it?" Jack asked, but of course, he didn't get a response. When he reached down to his pocket though, he found that the little fairy had brought out the container of his teeth. His hand hovered over the cylinder. Should he? After a moment of hesitation and Baby Tooth's soft chattering, he made his decision. It wasn't like seeing his memories could make things much worse. So by some instinct he didn't know he had, he slid his fingers across the surface and blinked in surprise several times when his vision came flooding back. No, not his vision, he was definitely seeing, but not with his eyes. Jack didn't want to think about it at the moment. He was acting out a story for the kids of his village in his brown pants and vest… Well that was how it started. Memories flashed in his head one after another until finally, he was standing on a cracking ice. A girl with brown hair and eyes was staring at him with wide scared eyes.

"…we're going to have a little fun instead", he was saying. He, Jackson Overland. A sixteen years old boy from a poor family, who cheered the village up even in the coldest winter months with just his presence. Even if it got him into trouble afterwards, because little extra work wasn't too big of a price for people's laughter. Jack toned out the rest of their word exchange, focusing on the scenery playing out. He'd had enough of voices from all his three hundred years of blindness. He focused on those brown eyes looking up at him, even as he pulled the girl from the cracking ice with his staff. Even as the ice gave away under his weight. The he was falling, and he suddenly had the urge to scream and struggle, because he remembered the feeling of cold and suffocating…How the water pushed him down… With a gasp, he emerged from the flood of his memories.

"Did you see that?" he asked from Baby Tooth, who seemed confused of his excitement.

"It was me! I was…" he trailed off as he remembered his sister, whom he had saved in cost of his own life.

"I saved her… That is why… That's why you chose me", he looked up at the sky, even if the Moon wasn't up. That was why he'd become who he was… He'd saved his sister's life and Moon gave him another chance. New energy ran through him. He'd saved some one. He had actually done something good, something really good. Determination settled on his face. If the Moon had actually chosen him for right reason, maybe, just maybe, he could actually do something. His face fell though, as he realized that his staff was still shattered and he had no idea where it was. He'd heard it fall down of course, but he'd been too stunned to locate the voice. A lump formed in his throat as he realized what he'd have to do so he'd find it.

"Hey Baby Tooth, could, you… Could you help me out a little?" Jack asked and immediately there was a questioning tweet from his shoulder.

"I", Jack swallowed. He'd never had to say it aloud and he was afraid it would change it somehow. But he knew he was just being stupid so he forced down the lump in his throat and continued: "I need you to bring me to my staff, can you do that? I can't… I can't see." There was a worried and alarmed chattering, but it quieted down soon enough and Jack felt the little fairy leave his side. Soon he heard a tweet from little way away on his right. He slowly made his way there, feeling surprisingly lost without the constant weight and support of his staff. He crouched down again when the tweet sounded again, this time from his feet. He patted around the ice until his hands hit the pieces of wood. Breathing in a shaky breath, he brought the pieces closer together. Like a magnet, he could feel the pieces calling for each other. When they were set against each other, he concentrated. He could feel the winter magic whirling around the cut in the stuff. He willed it on the surface of the cut, to mend the wood back together. Colorless and formless light pressed against his eyes and just like that, the staff was whole.

-O-

He had no idea where to look for the Guardians so he took off to Pitch's hole. This time though, he didn't just barge in without thinking. The moon had already risen by the time he reached the hole, so he used it to his advantage. As he slid down the hole, he slid his staff against the wall, freezing the tunnel's walls from the top to the bottom. The result was small spot of light at the bottom which the ice reflected down. With more ice he directed it around until he found the Globe of Belief and stopped in shock. There was only one light shining on the Globe. He lighted the whole Globe to be certain, until he finally jumped on top of it. His heart skipped a beat when he realized where it was.

"Jamie", he whispered and was in the air only a second later.

He felt like crying as he listened to the boy from his window. He had caused this. He had ruined the Easter and driven away their unwavering belief. In desperate attempt, he created a little, sloppy, frost rabbit in an attempt to prove the boy wrong. He was certain it wouldn't be seen, but then he heard the boy gasp. When the rabbit puffed to snow he'd already made his way inside and never in his life had he felt anything as painful and wonderful as the anticipation as he heard the boy whisper his name and waiting for an answer, if the boy could actually see him. And the joy when the boy actually answered him. He didn't think he'd ever felt such a burst of happiness as he did then.

Jack was still bubbling with happiness when he went to greet the Guardians as they landed on the street. Seeing Bunny on his cute fluffy buffy form did nothing to lower his spirit, even if the still present guilt prevented him from letting out all the smartass comments that rose to his tongue. As soon as he saw the Nightmares, though, the smile on his lips died and his brain stopped functioning properly. You could say he went on autopilot. He couldn't think about Pitch now, he had to focus on getting North to flare up the Northern lights. One step at a time. Because he just wouldn't be able to handle it all at once, not even as hard as he'd try.

The thing that forced him from the depths of his mind wasn't the desperation that followed after he was shot down from the sky, because there was no room in his head for desperation. No, it was a trait of his that he'd always known he had, but only recently acknowledged it.

"Jack… I'm scared", and it wasn't just the words Jamie said, it was that Jack had heard those words before. He'd heard them being said in that very same tone by a girl with very similar brown eyes. And Jack remembered he had, in fact, saved her. He'd saved her and he could do it again. He had to. And it all clicked in the winter spirit's head. He wasn't aware he had been speaking until he said those words again as a three hundred years old echo: "…We're going to have some fun instead." That's why it was so easy for him to draw out those magical snowballs. Because they were truly his. His center, something that Jokul Frosti couldn't dream of having influence over. Because Jack Frost wasn't anything if he wasn't fun. And really, if he hadn't been so excited and stressed about his discovery, a sight with Pitch wiping snow from his face would've been just hilarious. It was enough to draw shaky laughs from around him though.

Something warm was growing in his chest, which, by all means, should have been alarming since he was a winter spirit, but only made an excited smile grin twist his face. While it would've been an awesome prank to float a child outside his friends' windows in middle of the night, Jack was glad it wasn't so. They actually saw him. They saw him. They called his name. Jack felt slightly dizzy while he led the sledding group of friends, which probably wasn't the best combination, but hey, they didn't crash anything. Fortunately. If it was even possible, he felt even warmer and fuzzier inside when the children stepped in front of them, in order to protect them. But he was also worried, the doubt and desperation started to finally gain some foothold on his mind and with them, came Pitch and Jokul Frosti and… Jack forced it out of his mind. One step at a time. And golden sand exploded in front of him.

-O-

Jack was relieved. Very, very relieved. And happy. Of course he was happy. People were having fun around him. Throwing snowballs around, even the Guardians were affected by his winter magic. His winter magic. The young spirit of winter was all for an epic snowball fight between the Easter and Christmas groups, but then he noticed Pitch. And the world came crashing down. Pitch was invisible. And as much as he tried, he couldn't push the guilt back. Pitch deserved this. He had betrayed Jack. Because that was the only way Jack could see it. They had long since passed being just the prisoner and the guard, as much as Pitch had tried to change it in the recent decades. And Pitch had almost destroyed the Guardians. He'd tried to plunge the whole world in darkness. But even as they followed him to the lake, Jack's lake, the guilt and worry were present. It was Pitch, who had subtly led him on the right trails after the winter attacked him. It was Pitch who gave him the change to find out about the older winter spirit. It had always been Pitch.

Jack jerked violently as he felt the strain on the winter around them. The winter was vibrating. It didn't show yet, but Jack could feel it coming closer. Somehow, he felt it clearer than he had before. The presence and the blizzard it was bringing with it. For a moment, the young spirit was overwhelmed by the sensations, but then his heart sped up and he felt the urge to move. He knew it was after him. Jokul Frosti was after him. He would follow Jack anywhere he went and Jack wasn't prepared. He was tired from having his staff broken, tired from dealing with Pitch and tired from icing stuff. But he'd have to get the blizzard away from the children and the Guardians. But he wouldn't be fast enough to outrun it, Jack knew. And suddenly he was afraid. He snapped back into focus when he felt everyone's eyes on him. He had distantly heard them talk about Pitch and his fears, but now everyone was focused on him, frowning. Even the Nightmares.

"Jack…?" Tooth asked uncertainly. It was clear that the Nightmares had sensed something stronger than Pitch's fear, and from where Pitch himself was looking, it was also clear where the fear came from. Jack shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Then he took a deep breath. His vision was fading once again as the sun begun to climb back on the sky, but he couldn't worry about that now. He didn't have the time.

"Please…" his voice came out as a whisper, so he took another deep breath to steady himself. He closed his eyes momentarily. Jack knew what he had to do. To make sure no one else got hurt. He'd have to lead the blizzard away. He'd have to try and outrun it. That was the plan. Blue eyes snapped back open.

"Please, take the children back to their homes, quickly. And then get cover, I don't know how wide the blizzard spreads, I'm going to try to lure him away, but-", Jack was quickly cut off by North's booming voice.

"To lure who away? What blizzard? What are you talking about, Jack?" the elder mas asked, frowning down at the fidgeting spirit.

"We don't have the time for this! You need to go! I can't-", this time he had to stop himself as he felt a strong pulse through his staff. He stiffened as his powers twirled inside of him, out of control. The snow around them froze over and frost patterns formed over the ice of the lake. The Guardians stood stiff for few seconds, before they followed Jack's empty stare to the sky. Dark clouds had formed not far from them, approaching fast. The razing blizzard was clearly seen by now, and only seconds later, the children were packed into the sleigh, and North took off while Jack helped him steady the sleigh in the rough wind. He staggered then, leaning heavily on his staff. His head was aching, his body hurt. But he'd have to lead it away. He took a few steps before stumbling. He was saved from falling by a pair of thin arms. Jack blinked before remembering that he hadn't been the only one left at the lake. There was no way the Guardians would've taken Pitch with them.

Jack felt like he should've been struggling, but he just couldn't find the strength. The gray skinned man behind him frowned, before pulling the white haired spirit on his feet.

"Jack…" Pitch started, but he had nothing to say. He had no idea why he was still standing there anyway. That blizzard did not look inviting at all. But he couldn't leave Jack there alone, not again. Jack could barely keep standing, his face scrunched up in pain and concentration. Pitch didn't have long to decide though, he could see that. The Nightmares around them were getting restless even though they were once again under his control, which he could only thank Jack for. He could only guess his own fears (not that Pitch would ever admit that he feared anything) were overrun by Jack's, which had forced Pitch to push aside his fears, leaving nothing for the Nightmares to grasp. Pitch would've liked to growl in frustration. He'd actually have to be thankful to the very spirit who had made him a prey for the Nightmares in the first place. Pitch would've liked to spend a lot longer standing there, cursing Jack and himself for caring, but he was snapped out of it by Jack incoherent mumbling.

"What?" he snapped, still frustrated, but also, as much as he'd liked to deny it, worried. Jack mumbled something again, eyes still firmly closed. Pitch wondered if the spirit was even awake, until his blue eyes snapped open and he jerked in Pitch's arms.

"RUN!" Jack yelled and Pitch decided not to question his command. The wind had picked up, blowing sharp flakes of ice around them. Some of the Nightmares had already fled, but Pitch called one of those left to him. Immediately, it galloped to his side. Not slowing his unstable movement that resembled running, while pulling stumbling Jack with him, he swung Jack on the back of the Nightmare with the help of his black sand and leaped behind the boy, giving the Nightmare a sign to speed up. While Pitch was by no means stranger to speed and riding, he would not deny that riding through forest in blizzard on the back of a Nightmare carrying two people was not something he'd do voluntarily. He quickly formed a route in his head and signed it to the Nightmare which huffed in response and picked up her speed, determined.

"Jack!" Pitch called them, as they approached their destination, "Jack, you need to freeze the tunnel behind us, do you hear me?" Jack's head jerked in what Pitch hoped was a nod and not a sign that he'd finally fallen unconscious, but he had no time to affirm it as the Nightmare dived down to the hole Pitch had come to know so well in those hundreds of years he'd spent down there. He felt like laughing in relief when he saw the crystal ice form behind them, blocking the tunnel. Then the Nightmare reached the bottom, her figure reforming from the black sand as she descended to the stone floor huffing and fidgeting nervously. Pitch slid his hand on the Nightmare's neck, calming her down with a rare sign of affection. He then proceeded on getting off the Nightmare and pulled Jack down after him. The Nightmare took off to the shadows once Jack's feet touched the floor. The winter spirit's eyes were barely open and he wavered, before Pitch decided that rather than picking the winter spirit from the floor, it would be easier to just steady him. And they waited.

A/N

I'm not sure if there's anything I should mention about this chapter... No new characters or anything... And yes, I'm aware I pretty much skipped over the movie scenes, but since you all already know what's happening, it's really boring to write...

And then to point out few things that came up with reviews...
Like the fact that Loki got pretty good response from you guys, which seriously makes me very happy. Thank youu~ ^u^ And since there was some one interested in him, some more background info on him: Yes, Loki literally gave birth to Sleipnir, so practically, Loki is his mother... And Sleipnir isn't his only son either, though he "only" fathered the rest of his children. There is Hel, kinda like goddess of the underworld, I think. I haven't looked into that bit too much.
Then there is Fenrir, who issupposed to eat Odin when the Ragnarök comes, meaning, when the world ends. Then the is the World Serpent Jörmungandr. A huge snake that's wrapped around the world, biting his tail. The world ends once he gets his tail from his mouth.
See why I like him? He has some awesome children (yes, I view odd things as awesome sometimes), he does magic and tricks, he's intelligent and cunning...

Okay! Enough about that. So, as you may have concluded, the movie part ends here pretty much. Though the story isn't even close to the end. Enjoy?

Next: Jack and Pitch have a chat.