It felt strange gathering with everyone in the Tracker room each morning only to find two open spots where Alexi and Saphron always sat. Ryder, who I had expected to leave after what happened ended up throwing himself completely into research. Christopher, Haniel's immortal, was a mortician before all the Angel craziness and examined Saphron's body for any clue as to what killed her. He found nothing.
That morning was no different than the others; I woke up, hastily changed and made my way to the Tracker room where Da was already deep in discussion with Ryder. Almost everyone had arrived already but we had less than a third of the amount of Nephilim hanging around than usual. Da spread them out amongst the other safe-houses because if this was indeed a disease (as Christopher strongly suspected due to the lack of flesh wounds to Saphron besides where Ezekiel's sword had entered her) he wanted as few people as possible around to contract it.
I dropped down in my chair beside Izzy who was tinkering with her phone and stared up at the tears. My fingers bounced on the arm of the chair as I thought. We were missing something. Something vital that I felt was right in our face but what? Who was doing this? The Betrayers? Possible, there had been less attacks than usual…but why this way? Surely they would know that we'd scatter? They couldn't hope to get all of us, could they? Dizziness took over me and I quickly had to grab hold of the chair to stop myself from falling.
"Zailiel!" Da was suddenly at my side, his arms enveloping me, keeping me locked to him. "Zaza? Look at me." he tipped my chin up a little more roughly than he intended as his hands flitted over me, trying to find any damage.
I opened my mouth to tell him to stop worrying so much but caught sight of the pure dread in his eyes. It was exactly how I imagined Da to look when they told him about Mom.
"Oh, Da." I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tight. "I'm fine. I swear, I'm fine. I just…need a little break. I'm going to go see mom, ok?"
"Take your time." he whispered, stroking my hair. "But do not come back here."
I froze completely, not grasping what he said.
"What?"
His eyes flitted across the room, landing momentarily on Izzy and Uncle Iggy before returning to me. His lips were set in a grim line and his eyes were starless. "Listen to me, Zailiel. It's not safe for you here. This…whatever it is will be treated as an extreme threat until we know more and I cannot have you in danger. I need to know you are away from all of it, safe. Xaphan and Elijah are going to take you and Izzy to the north house. You are going to stay there until we can be sure of what we're dealing with."
I shoved him away, my hands shaking from my anger and hurt. He wanted me to leave? He honestly expected me to just behave and walk away like he told when I'd watched a woman I'd grown up with die? "No." I hissed, glaring at him. "I agree with Izzy but I am not being kept out of this. You know you're all easy pickings without any of us here! I don't care if I might die because news flash Da I've lived with that every damn day of my life and I won't let you stop me from protecting the people I love which includes you!" I could feel it rising inside me, the other part that I had to be very careful to control. It was what made me such a threat and an asset. It was what destroyed my mother.
Da saw it coming and calmly gathered me in his arms again, despite my struggles. "Angel." he said tenderly, like he used to when I was small, "This isn't just about keeping you out of the way." He reached to pull my left wing closer for me to examine.
I cringed at the sight of eerie black light that I knew equally drew everyone in and repelled them. I was too close to the edge. I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on calming myself down before I lost it.
"You were right. You need a break. After everything that has happened…I know you take responsibility though we both know there is nothing any of us could have done. Your emotions are unstable right now and we need to make sure that you are in control. Go with Xaphan and Elijah. Don't worry about us, we'll manage without them. Stay with Izzy and go back to school, enjoy yourself. When you are one hundred percent sure that you can handle everything then come back and hopefully by then we will have some answers for you or maybe even a solution."
I opened my mouth to protest even though I knew he was right. It was a very bad idea for me to be surrounded by volatile emotions given my own emotional state.
He kissed my forehead, "I'm not asking, Angel. I'm telling you."
xXx
Something was different this time. I looked around the desert surrounding me, felt the heat seep into my bones to add to the residual warmth from the fire. I waited for a moment for Mom's usual greeting but when it didn't come I grew unsettled. Mom never stayed away.
"Mom!" I yelled, my voice carrying easily over the vast expanse of desert surrounding me.
Nothing but the echo of my own voice came back to me. Now close to a full out panic attack my wings whipped out and I dove into the sky, determined to find where she'd concentrated her soul. She knew I was there, I was sure of it. It was impossible for her not to since she surrounded me. So why hadn't she manifested herself? My skin prickled with unease as I scanned my surroundings, taking in the clear blue sky without a cloud in sight. The sun hovered directly above, beating down relentlessly on me. A handful of mountains hung in the distance made of the same orange rock that covered every inch of the desert. I don't know how long I flew for but by the time I managed to make out the small rectangular building jutting from the ground every muscle in my body ached. I knew it had been more than a few hours because I didn't tire easily and I was about ready to collapse from exhaustion by that point. With the building came more than three dozen dots around it. Upon closer inspection I could identify the irregular shapes as Angels – no, not just Angels. I squinted try and make out the clash of people only to have a violent flash of heat knock me off balance. I struggled to correct myself in time to stop the inevitable crash with the ground but failed miserably, tumbling down into a heap. My side hit first, my hip landing painfully on the rocks which dug into my wings and arms as I tumbled over. I hastened to stand up and take stock of the situation only to freeze at the sight of the new addition to the group. Lucifer was the only one left standing in the centre of the cacophony with a limp form in his arms. Power seeped from his imposing figure, his massive fiery wings spread around him and his eyes a smouldering black fire. I didn't dare look to what he was holding, dread seeping further into my bones the longer I stood there.
"I gave you one simple instruction, Xaphan. Protect the girl no matter the cost but it seems you have become too vain for self-sacrifice." He hissed, laying the figure in his arms carefully on the glass at his feet, "I warned you of the coming events, she shared her dreams with you and yet you still failed." Instantly his eyes shifted from black to fiery red as he set them on the Demon he spoke to who was standing from his position fifteen feet away where he'd been thrown during the blast.
"You hardly gave me anything to work with." Defiantly Dylan crossed his arms over his chest, displeasure clearly written across his features. Shuffles surrounded me as more and more of those left got up and gravitated into groups.
All except for three. I picked out Da as he crossed to where Zephyre kneeled with yet another prone form in his arms, the tumble of familiar golden curls adorning her head unmistakably Angela's. I watched in stunned horror as Da forced Zephyre aside – much the same as he'd done to Alexi and Ryder after Saphron's death – and plunged the sword into Angela.
"Zaza." I came undone at the sound of mom's voice, finally manifesting beside me.
I choked back a sob as I continued to watch the memory play out before me. Da heatedly demanded Lucifer's reasons for being present, something not even the Arch's would have dared – not with such vehement animosity.
Mom laid a gentle hand on my shoulder, urging me to tear my eyes from where they had drifted.
She lay in the exact position Lucifer had laid her in, her hands resting on her abdomen and her tumble of dark brown hair splayed around her peaceful features. Her familiar white and brown speckled wings lay twisted at odd angles and emanated a steady dark light that seemed to suck the very energy out of the air.
"Zailiel." Mom said again, more firmly this time. She reached up and turned my face away, her face warm and loving and sorrowful.
I didn't bother trying to stop the tears coursing down my cheeks nor how my hands shook. Instead pushed away from her and approached the empty shell that had once been my mother. "That's going to be me." I whispered, brushing my fingers over her eyelids. I knew what lay behind them; empty white depths like Eli's.
This was the transition that my mom had undergone during those minutes where Da and Dylan forced their energies into her. This was what constantly clawed at me, begging to be set free.
"No, Zaza. Your father won't let that happen. You're loved by too many people for this to happen to you." Mom hushed, kneeling beside where I sat beside her memory self.
My anger flared, "They all loved you too and that didn't stop it." I snapped, "There's no point in denying it, Mom, it will happen sometime." Disgusted with what lay hidden inside – what more often than I cared to admit broke through – I looked away only to have my eyes land on Da and the Archs surrounding him now. "It's too close to the surface not to. I just have to get angry and it comes out. I don't think I can control it anymore."
She laid an arm around my shoulders as the scene dissolved, "Don't worry, honey." She crooned, urging me to lay my head on her shoulder.
"That's how you see Da, isn't it?" I whispered, my heart clenching as I glanced up to find him still there, in his arms a squirming bundle that I knew was me. "Your memories."
She sighed wistfully in response. "This isn't my memory, it's Lucifer's. He shared it with me just before he brought you to me the first time."
Da turned to us then, his eyes shining with love as he came over, his arms empty of my manifested self.
"Max." He reached out for Mom, a radiant smile that I knew would only ever grace his face at the sight of her spread across his face. She held her hand out for him to take but just before his fingers brushed hers his disappeared into nothing.
"Can't you touch?" I asked, sitting up to speak. Something about how quickly she'd made him leave struck me as odd.
"Of course I can." She ran her fingers over the lush green grass we now sat on to emphasise her point. Her chocolate eyes burned with longing as she spoke, "But I will not let myself get lost in something that isn't real. If I do then I'll warp the memory I have of him and I won't stand for that. I won't replace the Angel I love with a simple manifestation that I know will never come close to him." she curled a lock of my hair around her finger, "Your father and I may have had only a short amount of time together, Zaza, but I'll treasure every moment for eternity."
An idea struck me then and I berated myself for not suggesting it earlier. I'd told Mom just about every detail of my life on earth but I'd never thought to show her. If Lucifer could conjure his memories… then why couldn't I?
I shut my eyes and pulled up a memory, something that came as close to seeing Da happy as I'd seen.
I felt our surroundings shift, heard a new set of noises float through the air and knew I succeeded.
Mom sucked in a breath beside me and when I opened my eyes it was to her hand clamped over her mouth and her eyes misty with tears.
My memory self let out a gleeful giggle as Da tickled me relentlessly on my dark blue bed. My first big bed, in the Second World War fort where I'd spent the first few years of my life.
"Da! No! Unfair!" The manifested little girl cried, struggling out of the grip of my grinning father. She scrambled across the bed with her wings curled around her, to protect her sides from the attack.
"Why, Angel, I'm never unfair." He chuckled, his arm snapping out to scoop Little Me up to plop me in his lap.
Suddenly sober Little Me cast a glance at the chest at the base of my bed – the same one that fifteen years later still remained in my room, only now with a second to accompany it – and chewed on her lip a moment. "Da?" She chirped, setting her doe eyes on him.
He smiled down at her adoringly, "Yes, Angel?"
"You gonna see Momma." She announced with such an air of finality that it made a laugh burst from Mom through her tears.
Da's features sank but he tried to keep his sadness from showing, "No Angel. I'm not."
Little Me nodded insistently, "Uh huh. I seed Momma so you can too. Pwomise. Don' be sad, Da. Momma don't like when you sad." She patted his hand reassuringly. "Wanna wear my neckwace?" she asked, pulling the oval locket from around her neck.
Da stopped her from removing it, "You promised Momma not to take it off, remember?"
She shook her head as if she couldn't believe how silly he was being, "Momma is fine wif it." then before he could stop her she placed it over his head. "Now you smile."
And he did, grabbing her in a tight hug which she easily sank into.
The memory dissipated leaving us on the grass again. Mom gave me a wobbly smile. "Thank you, Honey."
xXx
"No way are you getting the biggest bedroom." I slipped passed Dylan and all but ran up the stairs to my usual room, the first door after turning right. I threw my bags onto the brown bed and punched the air. "Oh yes! Izzy!" I yelled, "Which–" I was cut off by Izzy slamming the door across the hall, claiming the other only bedroom with en suite.
"Sorry boys!" She chimed, poking her head out into the hall.
Dylan skulked passed with his bags in hand and a sour expression on his face. "You are so irritating." He grumbled. "This better not last long." With that we all went our separate ways, I spent the rest of the afternoon on my bed with two pads of paper and thick books scattered around. Da would kill me if he found out I'd taken them.
Right then I honestly couldn't care less if Da went a little nuts, there was no way in hell I was just going to sit around doing nothing while the people I cared about were in trouble. Well, more trouble than usual. I flipped over another of the thick detailed pages – probably from about the first century – and quickly scanned the length of it for anything that stood out. when I found a phrase I thought could help I scribbled it on my pad and went on to the next page. This continued for the rest of the night. I managed to work my way through half of one of the massive tombs before sunrise and filled one pad with information. I rubbed my eyes hard and squinted down at my writing. I scowled at the sight of the messy handwriting and ridiculous words. Ugh. I'd definitely done enough for now. I had to get some sleep before we had to leave for school.
I didn't even bother moving the books from my bed because I knew there wasn't time and I was just too tired to do it. I flopped back on my pillow and almost instantly drifted off to sleep.
"ZAZA! GET UP!" a high pitched screech in my ear woke me up what seemed like minutes later.
I squeezed my eyes shut and pushed at the lump of Nephilim currently bouncing on my bed. "We're gonna be late! Come on, I know you wanna see your Geek God – awesome pun there huh? What can I say, I know I'm amazing. So get up now before I drag you there by your fingernails! Do you realise how much valuable time I've lost not practicing for the Major Production? This could be drastic, Zaza! No one is going to know what to do! Oh my cheese, that's it. I have to go. For the good of the humans. It would be immoral for me to just leave them to bumble along and screw it up. Yep, you definitely have to get up."
I cracked open an eye, intent on politely asking her to get the hell off of my bed to let me sleep only to find a large smile on her face. I paused before the words left my lips. Since this was the first time I'd seen her smile in over a week I was a little hesitant to break her happy mood. That's when I realised just how much Izzy needed this. She needed to worry about stupid homework problems and boys and what outfit she was going to wear next. I don't know how I'd missed it but after Saphron's death I'd seen something shift in my best friend. Like she was completely at a loss as for what to do next. I couldn't blame her for wanting to escape, to forget where we came from and why we were here but the difference was that now I understood that I could run all I wanted…I'd always end up right in the thick of it again while Izzy had a chance. She could actually leave right now and never look back. I couldn't deny her this distraction, especially when mere days before I'd sought it so desperately myself.
So, like the dutiful best friend I whined and gave her a hard time but eventually caved and climbed into the shower to get ready for school.
xXx
It felt so very wrong to return to school after all that had happened when not a single thing there changed in the human world. I didn't know how to act around anyone, needing to keep them all at a distance lest I somehow manage to rope them into the crazy Angelic life. I saw them all in a new light that day, realising for the first time just how truly impossible it was for me to even pretend to be one of them. Because I wasn't.
I was there to destroy them. Mom's memory had only reinforced that fact.
Izzy, however, dove right back into her routine. She sped off towards the drama group leaving me with Eli – who had yet to say a word to anyone since we left the main safe house the day before – and, of course, Dylan. I'm sure they both took great joy in making me uncomfortable since they looked about ready to jump anyone who so much as took a step in our direction. I hated it when they were on high alert – it meant I would be shadowed every second of every day until the threat was neutralised.
Thankfully it was Danielle that decided to save me from their attentions and braved the wrath of Demon and Betrayer to call me over to her group.
I all but ran towards them, grateful to be free of my protectors' attentions even for a few moments. I didn't participate as actively in their conversations as I thought they expected – especially since Logan kept glancing at me weirdly.
"Are you ok?" He eventually asked, his cool grey eyes sceptical.
I nodded distractedly, "Yeah. Fine." Thankfully no one pressed it but by the way they all kept shooting concerned glances at me I knew it wouldn't be long before someone cracked. The conversation flowed around me as they all tried to cheer me up but I couldn't bring myself to pay attention. This changed, however when Will waved a hand in front of my face. "Whoa, you really are out of it today, huh?"
"William!" Cailee jumped in to give him a shove, "You are so incensitive!" She hissed, "Her cousin died, of course she's out of it now leave her alone."
Ah. So that's what Aunt Nudge told the school. Well, at least I didn't have to keep up appearances then.
"Sorry, Zaza." Cameron said apologetically.
"Thanks." I muttered, my mind now on the opposite end of the lot where a familiar – and welcome – person was making his way towards the main building.
"Oh great, we're gonna get ditched for the Geek." Will groaned after following my line of sight, throwing his head back dramatically.
And a new round of berating started from the girls which I took as my cue to leave.
I caught up with him just as he came up to the building. His dark green eyes locked with mine before I could even open my mouth in greeting. Something in their depths had my breath catching in my throat, halting any words that I'd hoped to utter.
"Hey." A small, lopsided smile tipped at his lips.
I managed to snap out of my little moment and offered a smile in return. "Hey. Sorry about last week, I know I should have let you know that Friday was cancelled but…"
He shrugged it off, "Its fine, I heard what happened. I'm sorry about your cousin." Tenderness softened his features, understanding shining in his eyes.
I suddenly found myself very interested in the floor, fighting a very unnerving urge to reach out and touch him. Completely thrown off by it I started walking again, "I brought the book." I started nervously, for the first time realising that it was in my bag. When I'd thrown it in this morning I'd barely even noticed. A blush crept up my cheeks adding to my unease. "I know it's a bit late and all but I figured since you were so interested in it last week you could, I don't know, take it up as some more light reading?" I suggested.
"Definitely. I hate to say it, Zaza, but you've sort of turned me into an Angel freak." He admitted, his hand sifting through his blond hair as a light blush dusted his cheeks.
I laughed, "Well then I don't suppose you'll mind helping me with a little project?" I boldly suggested, "I'm researching Angel and Nephilim ailments and I think it'll go a lot quicker if I have a partner."
It was a bad idea.
A horribly bad idea.
Not only would Da kill me if he knew I'd leant one Angel history book out to a human but suggesting that I share all of them? Oh geeze, I would be locked in my room with Eli and Dylan standing guard for the rest of eternity. That didn't really matter to me right then, however. I wanted to share it all with Athen, I knew I could trust him.
The crease appeared, but only for a moment before it smoothed out and he smiled sheepishly. "Sure."
"Zaaaaailieeeeel!" A song-song voice chimed from behind me a second before Izzy was launching herself at me. "OMG, I have to tell you about what just happened! I was with Sasha and Brielle, right, and we're talking about the disaster that is the Major Production thanks to my lack of appearance for the last week when this hot guy – oh, hey Athen!" she released me for a second to wave emphatically at him then latched onto my side again, "Ooo! I have something to give you." She held up her finger to wait before she dug around in her clutch. "Where is it?" She huffed, lifting the clutch up to try and locate the mysterious object.
Athen was watching her with a cocked eyebrow, amusement clear in his eyes.
I shrugged, "Give her a moment. She does this a lot."
Izzy swatted me with her bag, "Shut up little miss I-forgot-where-i-put-Ezekie –" She caught herself a moment too late, realising we were in the presence of a human and in true Izzy fashion chose to completely change the subject as if that wasn't completely obvious. "Aha! Here it is!" Her hand came up to reveal a small, crinkled piece of red card with black printed writing announcing the Major Production. She thrust it towards him, "Since you helped me out I'm afraid you're gonna have to come watch." She sang, "Now, Zaza, I have massively important business to attend to in the form of the unbelievably hot George Fredricks – who more than makes up for the lame name in hotness – so if you will excuse me, I will see you later and you–" she whirled round to point at Athen, "I expect to see you there or very nasty things will occur that you will never be able to pin on me. Bye!" And with that Izzy bounced off down the hall for her meeting with the 'unbelievably hot George Fredricks'.
I shook my head. At least she was having a good time immersing herself in human normality. I on the other hand… "Library during lunch?"
"I'll be there." he assured, that spark in his eyes again.
So some more bonding moments with Zaza and the 'rents and a little bit of Izzy craziness and a dash of Athen/Zaza (I need something to call them, any ideas? Lol, this shud be gud)
Yes, it's been ages and to be honest this has been sitting on my computer for ages I just haven't put it up…So Zaza and Athen's relationship is actually going to start progressing now and I swear there's going to be chaos but there are some things I need to get down before that can happen.
So listen guys, I'm in the process of signing my publishing contract and I'd like to know if any of you would be interested in ordering it? Obviously this will only be happening in about Jan/Feb next year after the whole process but I wanna get an idea of who wud be interested. I'm going to put my Blurb down below so you can get a feel for it. I know this story in particular is taking quite a while to get into things – I swear that's not the case in my book, it's like my other fics in regards to stuff starting right away. So if you're a fan of my writing and like my ideas, let me know so I can give you all the lowdown when it progresses a bit more!
the next second the floor was gone and I was plummeting downwards. A scream caught in my throat and all I managed to get out was a surprised gasp as Linden disappeared from sight.
There is a portal, hidden beneath the ruins of a castle, separating this world from another filled with the impossible. Those known as the Talented possess abilities only dreamed about; they are Healers and Elementals, Telepaths and the coveted Arith Talents. But this world is far from perfect, a war waged over half a century ago has divided the inhabitants and a manipulative queen has destroyed any form of resistance. Or so she thought.
It was an accident, really. One can't plan to stumble through a portal to be trapped in a different world surrounded by children who can do things that should be impossible. Unfortunately for Alais, this is her new reality. She finds herself lost in a tidal wave of secrets, lies and unbearable truths. Who can she trust? She's starting to doubt the one person whom she thought she could depend on, the boy who fell into hell with her, and is growing more attached to her new life amongst those who share her newfound ability.
Things only get more complicated when the Ione – the rebels fighting against the queen – admit that Alais is the only one who can destroy the queen. She has a choice to make – help the rebels bring down the immortal queen or return home, but at a cost.
The entire thing up there? I own it. All of it. No plagiarism of any kind will be tolerated. Seriously, plagiarists are the worst type of scum.
Thanks guys.
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