Chapter Nine
Healing the Heart
Antoinette had only been gone a few days when Erik suddenly reappeared without warning. Mary had not been able to locate any entrances to Erik's hidden passages any more than Antoinette had. Her angry frustrration turned to relieved concern upon first sight of Erik. He looked even paler than usual, guant even. Recentment toward the unknown young woman driving this poor man to near death brought out every protective instinct Mary possessed. All this emotional turmoil held not familiarity for Mary. The days and nights ran one into the other as the house awaited the master's return.
Food left in Erik's room remained untouched. Everything remained just as he left them. Had days ever seemed to last interminably long before? No, these nights and days felt as if they lasted a lifetime. Worry about what that might mean was set aside as worry over her employer's return, safe and sound, took precedent over everything else.
Erik had come to the conclusion he could waste away here in this dismal remnant of a shrine or he could rejoin the living and carry on as he always had. The latter held more appeal. His stomach had ceased its rumblings a day or so ago. He felt parched from lack of water. Usually food only gained his notice as a means to sustain the body. Now his mouth watered just imagining hot steamy crepes with fresh strawberries topped with freshly whipped cream.
When he stood he swayed about like a ship in a high wind. Staggering along he unsteadily made his way back into his bedroom. He had only the energy to use the toilet and draw a glass of water. He drank thirstily. Doubt filled his mind as to whether he made it to the bed before passing out. Eating just may have to wait a little longer.
Leaning with both hands on the sink he took one of his rare looks into a mirror. He looked even more ghastly than usual. His face looked quite scruffy. He was filthy and the smell emanating from him had his own nose wrinkling in disgust. Those who created rumors about his appearance being similar to a skelatal figure reeking of death could now feel justified by their description of a man they never really saw but claimed to be able to describe in great detail with accuracy.
His hair stuck out at all angles from the constant running of his hands throw it in agitation. His clothing would never return to the state they had been in before he had sequestered himself in his hole in the wall sanctuary. Food and rest would take care of the ghastly sallow look to his flesh.
Stripping off his clothing he looked at the tub for a few seconds wondering if he could make it through a bath. His pounding head protested even one moment longer standing or sitting. He must lie down or fall to the floor in a heap.
Erik staggered to his bed where he fell down face first. He was out cold as his head hit the mattress. Days without food or water coupled with his emotional breakdown had taken its toll. After only just recovering from his illness he once again was prey to the weakness of the mind and body.
Mary had all but given up hope of finding Erik. She hoped he had not gone and done anything foolish. He had not seemed like the sort who would do anything to harm himself physically. She did not know him well at all so could only form an opinion from the little she did know. If he were a lesser man he would have ended things long ago.
His years of survival under such harsh conditions as his life had been, had honed his survival skills. Erik, for all the horridness he had experienced, was keen to live on even if he thought otherwise. No matter how bad things got his mind would not let him give in. His body took all the abuse they had given him in his younger years and he had survived. Maybe a little more hardened and cynical but he had survived.
Mary entered Erik's bedroom to change the bed linens. Carrying the pile of sheets in her arms she opened the door to find Erik sprawled out on the bed sans clothing once more. She almost turned tail and ran out of the room remembering how angry he had been the last time.
Turning to leave Mary stopped as the way he looked flashed back into her mind. Not the fact that he was unclothed so much as the lines of misery that had recently been etched more deeply in his face, at least in the portion of it she could see as he lay on his stomach with his head turned to the side.
Sighing as she turned, Mary stepped back into the room. She knew she could not leave that poor man to suffer alone. Even if that is what he would prefer it is not what he needed. Erik needed someone to reach out to him with a tender touch, someone who did not expect anything from him. She would be that person for him no matter what it cost her.
Setting her burden down on a nearby chair Mary went to the bed hurriedly tossing the coverlet over him. She had to reach across him to do that. Her breasts pressed into his back in a disturbing manner. As soon as she grabbed a handful of the cloth she scrambled backward pulling the coverlet along as she went. When she had Erik covered Mary stood looking down at him. Reaching down she grabbed his shoulder then tried to gently wrestle him onto his back. That was a lot harder than she thought it would be.
Once she could see all of his face she could see he did not look well at all. It had been several days since he had anything to eat or drink she would imagine.
At this moment, right or wrong, Mary thought if that Christine person was within her grasp she would shake the young woman senseless for what she had done to this poor wretched man.
Angel of Music indeed. What woman of seventeen being of sound mind would carry on such a belief from childhood? Mary was of the opinion Erik had fed the young girls ego as well as awakened her yearning for male companionship.
Every female over the age of five or six wanted male approval, be it from some doting father, uncle, brother or merely the boy next door. That is how females test their flirting skills while still young. It is harmless but allows a young girl to practice the art of gaining male attention without endangering herself later.
Christine had taken that game too far. She had a lot to answer for. Erik was by no means blameless but he had not had the opportunity to mix with people so he had not developed coping skills that children learn from their parents and others around them.
Solitude often bred discontent as well as a misconception of the world around the one in seclusion. Left too long separated this malcontent could turn to madness as it had temporarily for Erik. Mary could only think that madness had driven Erik too do such desperate acts of violence and destruction. He did not seem such an evil man when one got know him and see the man he hid behind that angry strike out first persona.
He loved animals and treated them all with the respect and care they deserved. If he was slightly less tolerant of people, that was to be expected. Animals accepted everyone and would even lick the hand of someone who beat them. An animal's devotion once won, was yours for life.
Underneath all his bluster Erik could be very compassionate. Had he not hired Lizzy and Brielle when no one else would? The fact of their births being on the wrong side of the blanket did not deter Erik from hiring them. Jacob as well had been a castoff. His father was a drunkard who beat his children and his wife. His brothers that had not come to their final end were headed to prison or the graveyard to join their family members.
Jacob had been an alter boy in the local church. Antoinette had told her that the priest had put in a good word for him when he had heard of the opening for a sort of Jack-of-all-trades on the estate.
Antoinette had told her Erik had spoken as if the boy was less than welcome but had hired him at a wage not seen in this part of the county. Erik for all his other faults had a sense of fairness in his makeup that he rarely let come to light.
Erik could be a better man if only he and everyone would let him do so. Mary wanted to show Erik how to find his way back to being the sort of person she knew deep down he wished to be.
With his God given talents he was not meant to shun or be shunned by the world, he was meant to shine. Such wondrous talents were a gift meant for the world to hear. To keep them hidden would almost be a sin in Mary's eyes.
She made the difficult decision not to have Jacob see Erik in this condition. Mary did not know which Erik would consider worse, that a man saw him in this condition or that a woman had seen him. She would need to tend him in any case. There would of necessity be times when she would need to do things that would require her to discard what was proper.
She hoped Erik would agree that it was better to have only one person privy to his sorry state and complete breakdown. Men in general considered any man who cried or showed great emotions other than anger, were less than a man.
Mary fetched the pan and warm water then went to work cleaning away the dirt and grime from Erik's body. She tried not to look too long where his manhood would be. It was bad enough she had to wash near to it.
She blamed the quickening of her breath on the exertion of moving Erik from side to side as she washed him front to back and top to toe.
If her eyes lingered a little too long Mary did not acknowledge her slip. When her hand slowed its movements over his flesh with the soapy washcloth that was because she wanted to be certain she did not miss any of the dirt. It was not because he looked fascinating or made the blood rush to her face or warmth pool at her core wave after wave.
Certain parts of him she wanted to study a little longer but preservation of his modesty, such as it could be in the circumstances had to be considered.
Having settled him comfortably Mary took up her vigil once more. This time she would not let him leave the bed until she herself deemed him fit to do so. The man was in for some much needed pampering.
