Hey guys..SO YOU DID GET A TALK lmao i was meant to put this up before the one i posted last night so sorry lmao..so you will prob want to read this an the next chapter again cos it will make more sense lmao :)
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Danielle found the clothes on the bed, after drying herself she changed into them, and started on drying her hair. A few more minutes later and she was ready, ready to go face Ronnie.
Danielle hesitated at the door, before pushing it forward and entering. As soon as she entered Ronnie jumped up, Danielle looked down a moment before looking up and attempting a small smile at Ronnie.
Ronnie was struck by Danielle, it was like looking in a mirror, she'd funnily thought it times before, but be it now, Danielle wearing her clothes, the likeness was uncanny. Yet, that's all it was nothing more. Ronnie stepped back and sat at the opposite end of the couch allowing space for Danielle to sit.
Danielle walked forward and sat down on the couch, putting space between her and Ronnie though. She held her hands nervously in her lap.
"Was the shower okay? Not too hot?" Ronnie wasn't sure how to start the conversation she said the first thing that came to mind.
"It was fine, yeah, I like them really hot." Ronnie smiled glad Danielle was talking.
"Me too." Ronnie felt if she connected with Danielle she might open up more, at this Danielle looked up.
"The shower reminds me of walking in the rain, you can cry and you can never tell the difference between the water falling down your cheeks or the tears from your eyes." Danielle replied quietly.
Ronnie reached for Danielle's hand, bridging the gap between them. Again, Danielle looked up at her, desperate for her to alleviate some of the pain.
"After everything you've been through, this is normal, everyone goes through it, but everyone learns to deal with it. Let me help you Danielle."
Danielle looks into Ronnie's eyes, the sincerity in them made her want to open up, yet also there was a weakness, an openness that made Danielle want to see what she could get Ronnie to reveal.
"Did you feel like this?" Danielle questions Ronnie who sits back slightly.
"What do you mean?" Danielle shakes her head and shoulders, as she watches Ronnie's reactions carefully.
"You said you had a baby, you must have lost it too, she's not here… I know I didn't loose a baby, but, it doesn't stop me from feeling the way I do."
Ronnie stared ahead. She could shut down like she normally would at the mention of her baby, or she could use this as an opportunity to try to connect with Danielle, after all it was her that brought up the topic.
"You never get over loosing a child Danielle. I'm not going to lie to you. But it can be better for you. You didn't loose a baby; you didn't feel your child move and kick within you… You never looked into their beautiful blue eyes, and, loose yourself, and promise them everything. For it all to be took away from you…"
"What happened to your baby Ronnie?" Danielle needed to here this. Ronnie was opening up this was her chance to get more answers to try to help ease some of the thoughts in her mind.
Ronnie shrugged her shoulders and let out a breath, she felt her eyes filling up.
"She was adopted…"
"I was adopted" Danielle says quietly.
Ronnie looks up. Danielle was adopted. She didn't have time to think over that anymore as Danielle spoke.
"Have you ever thought about your baby? Ever wanted her to find you?" Danielle knew she was pushing her boundaries with Ronnie but she needed this. It was easier talking about Ronnie, than about her, talking about Ronnie, hearing Ronnie talk about her, helped.
"Everyday." Ronnie found herself answer immediately.
"But it will never happen… I'll never hold my baby again." Ronnie admitted sadly.
Danielle looked on confused. Ronnie had done that no longer than an hour ago, why wasn't the possibility still there. Why was she so certain she'd never hold her baby? Didn't she want that?
"What do you mean?"
"My baby's dead too…" Ronnie admits, and allows a tear to fall.
Danielle sits up straighter, her eyes widen.
"Who told you that?" She watched as she saw Ronnie's head shoots up in confusion, she had to speak quickly, she couldn't reveal herself now, now that Ronnie thought she was dead. She needed more proof than some necklace, even though that necklace held so much.
"I mean…What happened?" Danielle retracts.
"My Dad… He… She was only six…So young. I never got the chance. I. Loosing someone you love, you never get over that, you just, you learn to carry on. You carry them in your heart because, living in the past, living with the dead, it's not a place for the living. We can't stay there we need to carry on. For ourselves, for them."
"…When my mum…my adoptive mum died, it, it didn't hit me till a week later, at the funeral that she was gone… You know, seeing her coffin, watching it be buried…Made it all so final."
"I don't know where my baby's buried…" Ronnie finds herself admitting her deepest feelings.
"Why don't you find out… It will help you get some kind of…peace…" Danielle spoke with conviction, because if Ronnie looked into her baby's 'death' she would find out she wasn't dead, and then Danielle would be able to tell her.
Ronnie looked up at Danielle, the realization of what Danielle was saying, of what she had been saying hit her. She wiped her eyes.
"If I do, it will make it all real. Not seeing that grave, some days, I can still pretend it's not real, that's she's still with me…"
"She still is with you…" Ronnie looks up at Danielle, they lock eyes, so much Danielle wanted to admit the truth there and then, seeing the sadness and loneliness in Ronnie's eyes, but she knew believing her now would be harder than ever. So, she continued.
"You said yourself… you carry them in your heart, as long as their there, you'll always have them… But you need to have some kind of closure, see that grave…"
"Stop!... Please… I…Just. My baby. She was meant to have a better life. Without me, she could have everything she needed… She was meant to find me…" Ronnie trailed off as another tear fell, Danielle felt her eyes on the brink off tears, but knew this had to be done.
She now realized why Ronnie was so closed off, loosing a child is the greatest pain a mother can feel, to loose them twice is unimaginable. Now Danielle understood why Ronnie was so reluctant to get close to her. Same age as her daughter, it would be hard for anyone. She pushed aside her own pain, her own confusion to focus on Ronnie. Ronnie had to find out the truth. But now the truth she needed to know was that she was alive, and she had to do that on her own, but Danielle would have to help her.
"Find her Ronnie. If she can't find you, you find her." Danielle wasn't just talking about Ronnie finding her 'dead' daughter, as she was her, yet that in itself, discovering her daughter wasn't dead would allow Danielle to reveal the truth, now she knew, if and when she told Ronnie she would believe her.
She was somewhat relieved that she hadn't told Ronnie before now, because the chances of rejection was very high, because of what Ronnie believed. And that was all down to Archie. Why would he lie to Ronnie and tell her, her baby was dead. She was quite glad now at her outburst at Archie; he deserved to be hurt so badly now for what he had done.
Danielle already felt some small weight had been lifted, Ronnie did care, she did love her daughter. If she'd dreamt everyday she'd come home to her, that she could hold her, she loved her a lot. Yet would she love her? Was she the daughter that she dreamt? Would she not be ashamed, disappointed in her.
So thats that thanks for your reviews for the other chapter even if you may have been confused lmao :D as a special treat if you can review this too ill upload the next one asap an it will b the rite one lmao..i hope haha ;) thanks for reading :) x
