So here's another chapter from Edward's POV. Hope you like it!

As usual, I still don't own Twilight, and the song mentioned in this chapter is "Colorblind" by Counting Crows, I don't own any parts of that one either, though it's a truly beautiful song.

It's a short chapter, I'm afraid, but I promise that the next ones will be longer. And I also know that this story has been sort of "static", but I promise that there's going to be more happening in the chapters coming on.


Edward's POV

I had decided to run. I didn't have a car, and I wouldn't have felt comfortable getting on a bus or train, there were just too many people on them. After all, I liked running, and it had been one of the few things that helped me to get through the past years. When running, I was able to clear my head and to actually let go. Running for me meant not having to think of anything, and I enjoyed that very much.

So it was actually the first time in ages that I allowed my thoughts to wander while I was running. I felt ashamed and I was worried. I knew that I had hurt them badly by just leaving like that, and I knew that especially Esme hadn't taken it very well. But it had been impossible to stay with them, everything there was a reminder of my time with Bella.

But would they forgive me for just taking off? Well, I knew that I didn't really needed to worry about that, my family loved me, but was it really the best decision to return home? Was I really ready to leave my past behind, to not be mourning constantly and to lower their mood just by being around them?

I knew I'd been on my own for too long, so I was willing to give it a try. I would see if it wasn't going to work out anyway. At least I would have tried.

And I was also looking forward to seeing my family again. Even if I hadn't admitted it before, I had realized that it hadn't only been Bella that I'd been missing. I'd also missed my family, missed them quite a lot. To be honest, I had probably deprived myself of my family as a sort of punishment; I had felt that I hadn't deserved to be around them.

I still felt that I didn't deserve them, but I had also come to realize one thing: If I didn't allow myself to be happy ever again, if I kept on depriving myself of everything, I would perish.

I had already arrived at Forks without me even noticing the time, but I must have been running for days, without ever taking a break once.

I stopped when I took in the familiar surrounding of our house. It had been my home for so long. It looked different though, but I couldn't figure out what exactly was different. I stood there at least for half an hour, not moving, as if stuck to the ground.

Memories flooded back to my mind, memories I had desperately tried to forget. Memories of me and Bella joking, of the baseball match she'd watched, of how her hair would blow in the wind, of how she'd desperately tried not to get sick when I had taken her on my back.

Hesitantly I took a step and stopped again. It was so painful to remember and to know that they were just that, memories, nothing that I could ever actually experience again.

I just stared at the house for another minute and closed myself, trying to prepare myself for what was inevitable, more flashbacks, more reminders.

I took a deep breath, something that calmed me, even though I didn't need to breathe at all.

I slowly starting walking towards the house. Where was everybody? Alice surely had seen me coming! I stopped one more time and called out: "Hello? Anybody home?"

Obviously there wasn't. I hesitantly opened the door and stepped in. Now I noticed what was wrong, it was too dark inside, big curtains were drawn in front of the windows. I quickly walked over there and pulled them back. Ah, this was better, at least some light got inside now. I turned back. My hand slid across the table and took a lot of dust with it. Only now did I notice the thick layer of dust on all the furniture.

How stupid was I not even considering that they'd moved. They couldn't have even stayed there if they'd wanted to, 21 years was a far too long time to spend at one place and after all, I could imagine that nothing had really kept them there after I'd left.

It was so quiet. Too quiet. I couldn't stand it. I walked over to the radio and turned it on, at least it wasn't as quiet anymore.

I slowly started walking around the house as the first tunes of an old song were played. I was tempted to switch off the radio, but I stopped, realizing that the song perfectly fitted my feelings.

I am color…blind

Coffee black and egg white

Pull me out from inside

I walked into the kitchen, remembering how Esme had cooked for Bella, remembering how Alice had made the cake for Bella's birthday.

I walked back, remembering how Bella had cut herself, how Jasper had jumped at her, how I had left Bella.

I am ready,

I am ready,

I am ready,

I am

Remembering how it had almost destroyed her, how it had almost destroyed me. Remembering our "trip" to Volterra. Remembering her saving me. Remembering how we moved back, how much I loved her.

Taffy stuck, tongue tied

Stuttered shook and uptight,

Pull me out from inside

I walked upstairs, looking at all the college hats, remembering how I had told her about our "private joke". It looked like they had left everything, or at least almost. I could still here the music from downstairs.

I am ready,

I am ready,

I am ready,

I am … fine.

I walked into my old room and stopped at the door, holding on to the frame. I saw the huge bed, the one I had only bought for Bella. I saw all my CDs, remembered how I'd loved to listen to them. I sat down on the bed, remembering all the times we'd been lying there, together. Remembering the feeling of Bella sleeping in my arms. Remembering how I'd loved to just watch her sleeping.

I am covered in skin,

No one gets to come in,

Pull me out from inside,

I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding

I am … colorblind.

Remembering how much time we'd spent together and how I'd love every split second of it. Remembering how she had agreed to marry me. Remembering how she'd made me the happiest man in the world that very day.

Coffee black and egg white

Pull me out from inside

I walked back downstairs, all those memories flashing through my mind.

I am ready,

I am ready,

I am ready,

I am … fine,

I am … fine,

I am fine.

I had reached the piano I remembered how I had used to play so much, how I had composed songs for them all, especially the one for Bella. I hadn't touched a piano ever since. I slid my hand across the piano, it hurt me to see all the dust on it, so I pushed it all off.

I carefully opened the piano lid and slid onto the chair. I closed my eyes and started to play. Bella's lullaby. It brought back even more memories. I didn't stop there, I went on playing on all the songs I'd ever composed and many more which I liked. I didn't pause, I didn't open my eyes, I just played.

It felt good to be playing on the piano again. I had missed that, too. Finally I had enough. I opened my eyes and stood back up. It was time for me to go. I knew I would find my family, even if I would have to look everywhere.

For the first time in 21 years I didn't feel completely helpless and wounded anymore. I could still feel the pain at the very back of my mind, but the anger, the hatred and the despair was gone. It was like a cool wave of calmness had covered it all.

I stepped to the front door when I noticed some letters lying on the floor, I hadn't noticed them when I entered.

I bent down to pick them up and I immediately recognized the handwriting, if only because I had never seen any handwriting that could be compared to it. It was for sure Esme's beautiful writing on each of the four letters, all of them addressed to me. I took one of them and opened it.

"Dear Edward,

When you're reading this my hopes have finally been answered and you've returned home. I want you to know that I miss you very much, we all do and that I am desperately hoping for you to come back to us one day.

Even though you're physically speaking not much younger than me, I've always thought of you as a son and loved you as one, and I still do.

I just hope, wherever you are, or wherever you are planning on going, you are safe. Please never forget that we all love you and that we would always want you to come back to us.

I've written the address of our new home at the back so that you will know where to find us.

Love,

Esme"

The other three were quite similar to the one before, each with a new address on it.

Oh Esme, how much had I hurt her by leaving.

Suddenly I was hit by the door, as somehow had slammed it open from outside. I heard a scream and saw someone jumping at me and before I was even able to realize Alice was in my arms. Jasper was standing right behind her, warmly smiling at me.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, not really trusting my voice as I hadn't talked to anyone in a long time.

"What do you think?" Alice answered. "We're here to take you home."

A half-smile appeared on Edward's lip, probably for the first time in 21 years of mourning.


So, Edward is finally back with the rest of the Cullens. Hope you liked it. Please press that little green button underneath and let me know what you think!