Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling or George Lucas.
Enter Luke, in Mos Eisley.
Enter Han and Leia.
Han. Luke. Luke!
Luke runs over to Han and Leia outside Vidar Kim's.
Finally! We went to Chalmun's. But they said you'd left. And then we went to Obroa-skai and Shmi Skywalker's and . . .
Luke. I did all my shopping last week. And how come you knew I'm staying at Chalmun's Cantina?
Han. Dad.
Leia. Did you really blow up your aunt, Luke?
Luke. I didn't mean to blow her up. I just . . . lost control.
Han. Astral.
Leia. It's not funny, Han. Luke is lucky not to have been expelled.
Luke. I think I was lucky not to be arrested actually.
Han. I still think it was astral.
Luke. Your father doesn't know why Omas let me off, does he?
Han. It's probably because it's you, famous Luke Skywalker and all that. I'd hate to see what the Republic would do to me if I blew up my aunt. Mind you, they'd have to dig me up first, because Mom would have killed me. Anyway, you can ask Dad yourself this evening. We're staying at Chalmun's tonight, too. So you can come to Mos Eisley Spaceport with us tomorrow. Leia's there as well.
Leia. Mother and Father dropped me off this morning with all my Jedi things.
Luke. Excellent! So, have you got all your new books and stuff?
Han. [removes his lightsaber] Look at this. Brand-new lightsaber. Fourteen inches, green, containing one Corusca gem. And we've got all our new books. What about those Creation of Monsters books, eh? The assistant nearly cried when we said we wanted two.
Luke. [sees Leia's bags] What's all that, Leia?
Leia. Well, I'm taking more new subjects than you, aren't I? these are my books for Precognition, Animal Friendship, Farseeing, the Study of Force Comprehension, Mundane Studies . . .
Han. What are you taking Mundane Studies for? You're mundane-born. Your parents are mundane. You know all about mundanes.
Leia. But it will be fascinating to study them from a Forceful point of view.
Luke. Are you planning to eat or sleep at all this season, Leia?
Han laughs.
Leia. [checks her bag] I've still got ten dataries. It's my naming day in September. And Mother and Father gave me credits to get myself an early naming day present.
Han. How about a nice book?
Leia. No. I don't think so. I really want a astromech unit. I mean, Luke's got Artoo and you've got Fiver . . .
Han. I haven't. Fiver's a family droid. All I've got is Viceroy.
Enter Viceroy, Han's womp rat.
And I want to get him checked over. I don't think Mygeeto agreed with him.
Luke. There's a Force-sensitive creature shop over there. You could see if they've got anything for Viceroy. And Leia can get her droid.
Luke, Han, and Leia enter the Coruscant Livestock Exchange and Exhibition.
Enter Tendau Nandon, a hammerheaded scientist in magenta robes.
Luke examines the creatures in the shop: ysalamiri, boar-wolves, vornskrs, and shaaks.
Han. It's my rat. He's been a bit off-color ever since I brought him back from Mygeeto.
Tendau. Bang him on the counter.
Han sets Viceroy on the counter.
Hmm. How old is this rat?
Han. I don't know. Quite old. He used to belong to my brother.
Tendau. What powers does he have?
Han. Er . . .
Tendau. He's been through the mill, this one.
Han. He was like that when Jacen gave him to me.
Tendau. An ordinary common womp rat like this can't be expected to live longer than three years or so. Now, if you were looking for something a bit more hard-wearing, you might like one of these . . .
Tendau shows Han a pair of skipping nudjs.
Han. Show offs.
Tendau. Well, if you don't want a replacement, you can try this rat tonic.
Han. Okay. How much . . . ?
Enter Anji, a white-furred nexu, who jumps at Han.
O!
Tendau. No, Anji! No!
Viceroy runs.
Han. Viceroy.
Tendau recaptures Anji, and Han retrieves Viceroy.
Exit Tendau and Anji.
What was that?
Luke. It was either a very big cat or a rather small vine tiger.
Han. Where's Leia?
Luke. Probably getting her droid.
Enter Leia with Anji.
Han. You bought that monster?
Leia. She's gorgeous, isn't she?
Han. Leia. That thing nearly scalped me.
Leia. She didn't mean to, did you, Anji?
Han. And what about Viceroy? He needs rest and relaxation. How is he going to get it with that thing around?
Leia. [hands Han the rat tonic] That reminds me; you forgot your rat tonic. And stop worrying. Anji will be sleeping in my dormitory and Viceroy in yours. What's the problem? Poor Anji. That Ithorian said he'd been in there for ages. No one wanted him.
Han. I wonder why.
Exit all.
